Life Update - My Week from Hell

Hey everyone,

As you read from my other post from a few weeks ago where my cat Pokey fractured her tibia, things made a turn for the worst and things just cascaded from there.

Things were going okay for a couple weeks (I was kind of riddled with anticipatory grief and crying daily though), until 2/18 I noticed she hadn't defecated in about 4 days. The vet had called me that morning for a general check-in, I told her what was going on, and she told me to bring Pokey in, because cats should be defecating at least once every 48 hours.

Radiographs were taken to assess the constipation, and pleural effusions (fluid around the lung cavity) were discovered, leaving her only able to breathe with 65-70% capacity of her lungs. I was kind of weirded out how she gained 1 pound in a week after we got medication for a yeast infection in her ear - omg she can't catch a break.

After the successful enema, I was told to go to the emergency & specialty clinic 17 miles away so she wouldn't suffocate to death if the effusions worsened. I was in a panic. I had to rush to the hospital.

Except there was a serious snow storm going on, and I had barely made it up the hill to the vet which is literally up the street from me. I cuddled Pokey in my lap until my sister arrived in her car which has AWD. Thank goodness for her.

Pokey was admitted to the ICU and placed in an incubator until being transferred to an oxygen chamber. I wasn't sure if I'd see her again, so I gave her kisses (she purred!) and said good night, then my sister drove me home. At least I found solace knowing she was in good hands at the specialty hospital.

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2/19 - I had been an anxious wreck waiting on news. Her pleural effusions were drained (130ml!!!), but they had reaccumulated. I talked to the vet and we made reasonable decisions. They were going to try medication that decreases pleural effusions. If the fluid came back even after the meds, I decided I would say goodbye the next day so she wouldn't suffocate to death. If she could be stabilized, we would start on the medication.

That was an awful night. 

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2/20 - I was fully bracing to say goodbye to my girl that day, feeling absolutely numb, waking up in a panic, not being able to sleep or eat. I was told I'd get a call mid-morning, but I didn't hear anything until 1pm. Pokey was given meds the night before, drained again, and she STABILIZED. The fluids didn't come back. They were waiting until her vitals looked enough to come home with me. I. Was. In. Shock. I didn't have to say goodbye that day.

She was, however, diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and Stage C hypertrophic cardiomyapathy. Stage D is end-stage heart failure. Stage B2 wouldn't even show clinical signs. Cats unfortunately tend to only show symptoms when things get really bad.

Something lighthearted - apparently she refused their healthy food and would only eat Friskies, hah! She wolfed it down in the ICU. Glad she had an appetite.

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Lately - Crying for weeks and going through anticipatory grief has helped me with Acceptance. Pokey is nearly 20 years old (born April 2005). Cats don't live forever. She has had a long, colorful, adventurous, spoiled life - literally the best life a cat could have. I'd be more heartbroken if she were in the prime of her life. But it's okay, I can let go. I just hate to see her suffering and will move heaven and earth for her. My goal is to keep her as pain-free and comfortable as possible.

Pokey is home with me with a guarded prognosis under palliative/supportive care. This basically means end-of-life care where the goal is to keep her comfortable and to monitor her for any distress, which we'd go back to the hospital for. We will have weekly check ups to check her vitals and breathing and her leg splint.

Her heart diseases cannot be cured - only managed until heart failure takes her. To me, that's basically passing from old age. I'd rather have her peacefully pass at home in a familiar place than at the hospital. If she stops eating and starts cave-dwelling as cats do at the end of their life, I'll get a home euth service involved. This is the most peaceful, non-traumatic option.

We're on 3 new medications (6 total, sometimes twice daily!) to manage the heart condition. Getting Pokey to take pills isn't the most fun thing to do, but it's only takes ~30 minutes extra out of my day to keep her comfortable, so it's worth it to me.

I don't know if we have days, weeks, or months left, but I will cherish every good day we have. Pokey is my soul mate cat, my heart animal. But that doesn't mean I can't have the same bond with another tuxie kitty (I'm rather fond of them!) down the line when I'm ready. Pokey is a special girl with such a unique personality who can never be replaced, and I'll always have our good memories.

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Anyway, thank you for reading this if you made it this far. Thankfully my pet insurance covered most costs until I hit my max reimbursement. I put the rest on CareCredit, which I have a plan to pay off within 12 months at 0% interest (yes I'm aware of penalty APR). If you'd like to chip in, here's the ko-fi goal: https://ko-fi.com/tacocatarts/goal?g=49  I'll be plugging this goal every now and then. I've been thinking any dono doodle I do on stream will go towards that.

I have also cancelled my upcoming trip to Texas Furry Fiesta and thankfully have received refunds from the hotel and registration.

And thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the kindness I've been shown. My heart is so warm reading the messages rooting for Pokey, sympathy for me, and people checking on me through DMs to see how I'm doing. I'll try to get back to DMs, but I've been pretty exhausted to be honest.

Keeping my mind occupied will definitely help. I couldn't function for weeks because of the lack of sleep and food, but my appetite is coming back so I'll feel less like garbage and can actually be productive again.

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One day at a time is my daily mantra.