How I'm coping...
Added 2024-07-11 18:05:12 +0000 UTCI'm really just sad talking about this, but I realize some of you have likely gone through the same set of emotions and I feel it's important to share and be transparent about how I am feeling. I'm definitely deep-diving into work and surrounding myself with smiles as much as possible, but loss just hits you harder some days. I appreciate you all being a sounding board for me, and respecting my current status of not telling the world yet. I still have zero answers from my vet or necropsy results and just feel unwilling to put it out there without some sliver of hope for everyone.
Comments
I relate to what you’ve been going through also. I’m pretty new to birds and I’ve kept reptiles for well over two years now. When I lost my first bearded dragon It was hard for me to take care of the other ones because Hunter earned his dragon wings and he was young. Animals are so great and make the best companions and friends we could ever ask for in life. I have watched your channel and seen all your trainings and purchased your courses! 💚 I’m sending you guys so much love! Thank you for all that you do!!! 💚 -Mk
Monica Koprowski
2025-02-02 14:41:36 +0000 UTCI was sitting here makeshifting a trailer hitch for my dogs. And I followed a Reddit post. And just realized that the bolts and nuts I got were made of ZINC. Could any hardware in the house or cages be made of zinc? Just thought I messaged.
Stephanie
2024-10-03 20:25:47 +0000 UTCThanks Stephanie, that's sweet. There's just a lot going on for me at the moment that I don't feel set up successfully to take on another bird. xo
BirdTricks
2024-09-04 17:10:48 +0000 UTCI feel the same you are about going through cleaning and how perfect our birds were. I just lost my parrotlet wed. And I just want everyone to leave me alone. I literally have broken heart syndrome. My chest hurts and it’s empty. I cannot breathe. I try to think of other things. I miss him so much. He was like an emotional therapy bird, if that’s even a thing. The bird store gave me another bird. I took him otherwise I would be in the hospital. So the new bird is nippier and peewee never did that. I sit and just hate knowing that I lost my perfect bird!! I get sick and think of returning this one. But I’m going to follow your training and hope I can train it to not bite. Don’t know if that will work. I also have a green parakeet. He reminds me so much of blue. He is smart but I never trained him. He is happy and perfect. I would love for you to have him if you like. I think he would be perfect for you like blueberry. He just needs training
Stephanie
2024-09-03 06:09:55 +0000 UTCI am so very sorry for the loss of Blueberry, my heart is breaking with you...this is devastating and shocking news. Sorry is not enough. Hugs to you, Capri and Dave. You are such an amazing person please try not to be so hard on yourself and that is easier said than done. Give yourself some grace!
Lisa Wisdom
2024-08-03 08:18:38 +0000 UTCMy heart is bleeding for you. Loosing those who forever stays in your heart is devastating
Anja Tveterås
2024-07-21 15:02:42 +0000 UTCYou are doing great, each and every feeling is valid and necessary and none of it makes you a bad person. You are doing what you can, when you can and that is the only way to get through. Grief is a process, there's no shortcut and I believe the distractions serve to give you a pause. I know it feels overwhelming at times, but you are doing great. Please be sure to ask for anything you need from all of us, we're all here for you,x
Sarah Cunnington
2024-07-16 11:17:52 +0000 UTCMy best friend died a couple of years ago. I felt like that. And hated people for ages. That's how I came to find you. Cause I turned to birds. Go easy on you sweet lady.
Amanda
2024-07-16 08:59:05 +0000 UTCLove to you.
Amanda
2024-07-16 08:52:57 +0000 UTCThere is no pattern to grief. We all cope differently, but in the end, the pain never really goes away, we just get better at carrying it. We understand. Believe me, we completely understand. 💔
Julie O'Malley
2024-07-14 02:01:39 +0000 UTCJamie Leigh, There are no words that’ll lesson the pain, but may you find comfort forever in the memories. I lost my ‘heart’ bird October 21, 2023. I still have hope, but I know life goes on and time will lessen the pain although it’s still just as painful. Grief is weird. Up down around diagonal backwards . I am so sorry. Berry was a damn coool bird. ❤️
Sula Paitaris
2024-07-13 21:43:43 +0000 UTCMy heart thoughts and prayers still go out to you in her loss I do rescue work and I’ve lost many animals what keeps me going is knowing that the one that passed would want me to put all my endeavors into the next that needs me I just keep going trying to be strong for the next rescue I could relate to how your feeling putting your all next into your flock I know that’s what she would want you to do in her memory 🙏🙏🙏🌸🌸🌸💕💕💕🦜
Lisa Morris
2024-07-13 19:54:54 +0000 UTCHer initial day of finding out was really rough but other than that, she’s been handling it super well. Way better than me. I try to have my downward spells privately.
BirdTricks
2024-07-13 13:17:06 +0000 UTCEverything you’re feeling is normal . Take as much time as you need to grieve. Blueberry was so special and will always be in your heart. Sending lots of hugs and prayers for you all!! How is Capri doing?
Melanie Jones
2024-07-13 10:56:46 +0000 UTCGrief sucks. You are going through the normal stages. I remember thinking the exact thoughts when I lost my heart dog. I looked at our other dogs and thought “it isn’t fair”. Hugs
Julie
2024-07-13 02:44:27 +0000 UTCI am deeply sorry Jamie. There are no words. This is very sad. Your grieving. Your heart is beautiful. Just for now it feels closed, it is part of the process of moving thru this deep loss. I have learned so much from you and Dave. My Quaker has a better life because of you and Dave, your love for the birds is extraordinary. I grieve with you, I pray for you and the family. Thank you for your honesty. All of us will go through what you are going through, I have. Give yourself a break. Sending love and hugs. Blueberry will be sadly missed, but not forgotten. We love you.
LeeAnn
2024-07-13 00:31:26 +0000 UTCJamie, Thank you for being brave and for sharing your grief with us. I wish there was something I could say that would comfort you. One of my friends once suggested I open the front door and invite grief in. Sit down on the couch with my grief and put my arm around it. Make friends with grief and talk to my grief because my grief was there to help and protect me. Jamie, it seems to me that with this video, you are trying to do just that. Again, thank you for courage and for trusting us to support you in any way we can. It's my experience that our culture doesn't do a good job supporting us when we grieve. I hope I won't offend anyone if I share some resources I found valuable. None of them are religious. If they don't interest you, please disregard. If you enjoy listening to audio podcasts, I highly recommend listening to Anderston Cooper podcasts on grief. Season 1 is from September 2022 to November 2022 and I think one came out every week. I listened to the first podcasts as they came out in real time in 2022. While some resonated more with me than others, I felt I either learned something new, or found a resource I wanted to look up in each episode. I found some comfort in almost every episode. The biggest thing I learned about grief is how each of us grieves differently and with each episode I was grateful that every person (some famous/some not famous/some academics) was willing to share the ways they were trying to learn to live with their grief. In the very last podcast, Anderson shares clips of voice mail messages people left him with comments and suggestions for what they found especially helpful for them. When I looked up the link to Anderson Cooper's podcast is when I found out Anderson Cooper also did a Season Two from November 16, 2023 to February 27, 2024. I look forward to listening to the second season. Both seasons can be found at the link below. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-there-is-with-anderson-cooper/id1643163707 If you prefer reading a book. I found the book below extremely helpful. Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Missing-Revolutionary-Approach-Understanding/dp/073823477X Take gentle care, J
J Matzner
2024-07-13 00:29:35 +0000 UTCGrief has no rules. I’ve only ever talked about it with my closest friend but when I lost my mom to Dementia six months after loosing my dad unexpectedly, I was so cold and task oriented. It wasn’t until two years later that I finally broke down and grieved. I felt guilty for not feeling but there are no right or wrong answers. If you need time to yourself, that is ok. If you need to spend time with the other birds in your life, that is ok too. It’s ok to not have answers and to struggle with decisions. One day at a time. *Hugs*
Kimberly Carr
2024-07-12 23:20:30 +0000 UTCYou are so very brave to share all of this. And not only did you give Blueberry the very best life, but you showed us how to never underestimate a budgie. Sooo many “bird” people (from clubs and fairs and whatnot) told me, regularly, that budgies were “throw-away” birds and that I would have to learn that as a fact someday. You (one of the best “bird” people!) and Blueberry have proven them so very wrong, and have been an example of what it can be like to be loved by a budgie. Thank you. Even though Blueberry is not physically here today, that lesson will live on.
Julie K
2024-07-12 21:44:05 +0000 UTCMy heart just breaks for you and your raw grief over the loss of a beloved bff and family member! It’s just so hard and exhausting to feel the pain and sit with it - with no escape or real closure. It feels like the world should stop a minute. You have had so much on your plate to deal with, scaffolding losses and grief, your parents moving and your own health. Not to mention everyday life and your precious relationships. Girl! Give yourself grace, cry as MUCH as you need to. This is just hard. And make sure you get yourself the support you need to go through all of this. You should know that while I can only imagine how devastating it is to love as fully and wholeheartedly as you do - the difference that you make, the lives that you touch and the birds you save is REAL! Especially Yourself and Berry - tiny birds for years are going to be positively impacted by the two of you and their worlds be forever changed as a direct result of the love and work you two put together ❤️ What an incredible legacy and gift she has left behind for us and all the tiny birds ❤️
Leigh-Anne Bezuidenhout
2024-07-12 19:48:38 +0000 UTCThank you for being so transparent in sharing your grief. Such tough feelings. Your desire is to have good come from all this and I think it already has. You love birds with your entire being and now you are grieving with your entire being. It’s healthy and ok. Little Blueberry will continue to touch our hearts as we walk this journey with you. ❤️
Robyn Watts
2024-07-12 13:07:51 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry that you are going through this. I wish I had the right words to make it better for you but I know there aren't any. Time is the only thing that will help heal. You'll always remember her. Over time it will be a happier place when you remember and the sadness will fade.
Holden Kendrick
2024-07-12 11:10:19 +0000 UTCThere is no rule on how we’re supposed to grieve. I lost my mom in 2017. It still hits me unexpectedly sometimes, and the triggers are often something random like the design in a glass or my African violet blooming. My bestest budgie, Edda, passed away on March 31st 2021 in my hands after the vet gave her the final injection. She was 12. She was in pain. She had a tumor in her ovary that left one leg paralyzed and she could no longer have bowel movements. I still question my decision to let her go, even though it was painfully obvious that her quality of life had diminished to unbearable levels. At the very end, she settled into my palm with a little shimmy like she was just going to have a nap. I will miss her until the end of my days.
Julie O'Malley
2024-07-12 03:25:00 +0000 UTCEverything you are feeling is right for you. Grief hits people differently. During the height of COVID, I lost all my fur babies and feathered baby. They were seniors but it wasn't their time. Cancer and a careless vet mistake. It's been years and I still cry at the very thought of them. I'm still mad. I knew I needed a new baby to heal. I chose a lovebird, not sure that was a great choice. They are something else. Like you, I feel guilt I don't love her like the others but do care for her. Realization, she is not them. Not a replacement. We are a new story and I just try to enjoy that everything with her is new. Lovebirds are just ... well let's say I asked the vet about her personality quirks and he said you just got lucky with her. LOL. I feel your loss and sympathize with all you're feeling. You are not grieving alone.
Leslie Franco
2024-07-12 03:10:42 +0000 UTCI’m soooo sorry! Blueberry was awesome I named my budgie after her last year so her name will live on🥰
Meagan Shafley
2024-07-12 01:34:40 +0000 UTCFirst I want to say thank you for always being vulnerable with us and I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand how you are feeling. It’s never easy to lose a member of our family especially one that has been by your side for so long. Just know that she is now watching you and the rest of the family showing that even a budgie can become someone’s best friend. So thank you and don’t ever feel bad for grieving. ❤️💔
FayK
2024-07-12 01:19:56 +0000 UTCI think putting all your feelings into Monet and PrimRose is a beautiful way to canalize your emotions. Maybe making those little birds to be, or better say, to carry Bb's ways, is going to make you see BB into their eyes (and little poops). Thank you for opening to us. We love hearing about your deep relationship with her. Those beautiful memories are still alive. And will be for ever with you.
Camispets.blog
2024-07-11 21:51:05 +0000 UTCRemember that your precious Blueberry lived her life to be all she could for you to make you happy, she wouldn’t be happy to know that thinking of her brings you sadness, she wants you to remember her and laugh and be happy, she wants to be your happy place
lizzie ferrell
2024-07-11 20:59:57 +0000 UTCI appreciate your vulnerability. It’s so hard when we see them as lifelong companions to have that end so early… She had an amazing life with you guys and you have some awesome memories with her!
Tony
2024-07-11 20:49:39 +0000 UTCGrief has been explained to me before as a ball inside a box bouncing around. When it first happens, the ball is huge and constantly makes contact with the sides of the box causing us waves of grief. As time goes on, the ball slowly gets smaller and the box may get bigger, meaning the ball is still bouncing around in there but the times it comes in contact with the side of the box become fewer and longer intervals. The grief will never go away but the waves will come fewer and not as hard. This visualization has helped me in the past to be kinder to myself during those waves when the ball hits the box. HUGs! <3
Shawnee Felts
2024-07-11 19:51:09 +0000 UTCGrieving sucks! Thank you for opening up with us and being so vulnerable. I also have a coping mechanism of manic cleaning. I'm sure it's more common than we know.
Shawnee Felts
2024-07-11 19:47:05 +0000 UTCYou bring me to tears, I feel you , thanks for sharing,
Lisa
2024-07-11 19:47:04 +0000 UTCHang in there Jamieleigh. Always remember Berry had a wonderful life thanks to you. <3
Allen Earnest
2024-07-11 19:43:23 +0000 UTCAll your feelings are so valid to me. My heart still breaks for you every time I see her in a video. We lost our dog of 10 years suddenly when we returned from the Flight class. I haven't taken it well at all. It has like you said made me notice how much of my day he was involved in. Blueberry was your little bestie and any feeling you have is valid!! Love ya!🩵
Wendy Cottingham
2024-07-11 19:35:42 +0000 UTCHey. You're grieving and this is what grief looks like. Nothing you've said or written or experienced is evil or even dicey. It's just part of the process. It won't seem like it for a while (everyone is different in how long it takes) but one day you're going to wake up and go through your day and suddenly realize that that day is a little bit better than the day before. So pay attention and watch for that day. On the one hand I understand how you feel. I've had maybe 45+ cats over the course of my life, and eventually lost every one. The last one was so devastating (sudden illness and then poof he was gone) I haven't been able to bring another cat into the house since. So I get it. But, on the other hand, I can't imagine how you feel about Blueberry because I felt so bad and I didn't even know Berry - so it must be so much worse for you. I just got used to hearing the super fast wings going in so many of the videos that I miss hearing them now. I even considered maybe getting a budgie but my brother's cats are here and they're just this side of being feral, and I would be too afraid for it. Well maybe I shouldn't have shared all that, I dunno. I don't want to make things worse. I just wanted to say that we're all with you, those of us who miss Blueberry in the videos, and those of us with beloved pets who all have or will experience the same loss. Nothing you're feeling is unnatural or wrong. Keep going, one foot in front of the other, and as I said ^^ one day you're going to realize that day is a little better than the day before, and pretty soon there will be another, and another, and so on.
Meg Geddes
2024-07-11 19:30:49 +0000 UTCI’m so sorry to hear about BB. I know there’s nothing to said or done to make you feel better, but know that I understand what you are going through and am sending lots of hugs to you, Dave, and Capri.
Stephanie
2024-07-11 19:23:43 +0000 UTCI am sorry to hear about Blueberry! I know your heart is broken! What a special little bird!!!! So sweet, smart, and loveable!! Unfortunately loving our fur babies and feathered babies often leads to heartbreak!! We want them to live forever and often times that does not happen! Animal lovers have big hearts and you are no exception I am so sorry for this hurt!!
Janie
2024-07-11 19:23:39 +0000 UTCSo sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you.
D L Lane Photography
2024-07-11 19:15:09 +0000 UTCI feel honoured that you share your feelings with this community. I am so sorry that Blueberry is gone but she will remain in many hearts across the globe when the time is right.
mamawby054
2024-07-11 19:12:52 +0000 UTCJamie, although I have never met you in person, I love you so much! You have been in my thoughts on a daily basis. I have been feeling your pain. This is going to take time. Thank you for all that you do and for being transparent with us. Your perspective on realizing that you can invest more in Prim is great. You may have to "work" at it during the times you feel intense grief, but I know and believe that you can make a difference in her life too. Helping her can also impact Capri's growth and maturity too.
Robin Marlin
2024-07-11 19:04:33 +0000 UTCAnd im sorry but you still dont get to see updates on your trailer till the reveal 🥰
Melissa-Shawn Atkinson
2024-07-11 19:02:03 +0000 UTCYou are such a beautiful person the more i get to know you and Dave the more I see the beauty in your sole. Losing my mom back in October and then deciding that we wanted to buy two baby birds so we can have this journey and teaching our birds to fly with us with something we had to pray about. It’s amazing how God always gives us the desires of our heart and wanting to have something for a long time that was going to be a beautiful remembrance of my parents buying two birds seem like a beautiful thing. Meeting you and Dave just felt so amazing and so spiritual. I know going through losing Blooz in such a short time, we had her combined all the hurt I had inside of losing my mom and my dad. My parents like your parents were my best friends. We did everything together. We went on trips together. My mom was the best grandma that any kid would ever dream of having, she loved her grandchildren so much. When buying my baby bird blooz was supposed to be to me a remembrance of my mom and losing that bird and it was just a baby never had a chance was more devastating to me then I realized. Going through the training with jazz and Shawn it even hurt more. I felt jealous and resentful even though I gave my whole heart to working with jazz and love her with all my heart. I truly thank you, Kim and Dave for being so supportive through all that. Going to Utah and graduating Jazz and seeing all the other birds flying with there humans was even harder.. My heart was aching for something I felt I would never be accomplish that my heart desired so much. I truly loved watching Shawn work with Jazz. He truly loves animals and loves being with them. It was amazing. But i was still struggling with my own feelings of hurt. One thing never thought in my life I would do is go on a plane to Florida to buy a bird. I had never been to Florida. I am so thankful for the trip that I took and for the purchase I made. it has truly filled the hole in my heart that I had. I have some amazing memories and I’m in love with something so precious.. Rhythm has truly helped me with my heartache. And of course, having a wonderful supporting husband that lets me do all these crazy things to make me smile. Shawn and i pray that we can someday be a blessing as much to you guys as you are to the people you help. You have so many people that truly look up to you and love you. I pray that your heart ache turns to joy of what that amazing little bird has done in her short time on this earth. Theres not a bird in this world thats as special as she is and will be even now. Your videos of her will live on and teach people to care and train little birds for longer than she would have been here. You guys should be so proud of what you have made her. A celebrity. She will continue to touch people. God bless it 🙏
Melissa-Shawn Atkinson
2024-07-11 19:00:15 +0000 UTCWhat??I am shocked...and I am so sorry!😪😪Is there anything I can do for you?
Anniina Honkala
2024-07-11 18:57:40 +0000 UTC💔🥺
Mariko Van Kampen
2024-07-11 18:49:12 +0000 UTCI’m so sorry for your loss Jamie. The feelings you are having about the other bird is understandable. You have a lot of feelings to work through as you provide prim what she needs while grieving. Remember the advice you give us because I think it will help. Step back and take a time out when you need. Or keep the sessions with prim very short. You are a wonderful bird owner and love and care for your birds. I wish you the best during these hard time.
Khellendros05
2024-07-11 18:44:25 +0000 UTCFirst off I’m SO sorry for your loss. Just know - EVERYTHING you’re feeling is completely normal. It’s the grief. She was SO special to you, to your family and to us. Please allow yourself the time and space to grieve without feeling guilty about all that you are feeling. It’ll get better over time, but they’ll always be a place in your heart just for her. Second - I’m right there with you. I lost Simon, my little blue budgie, to AGY about 2 1/2 months ago and then lost Max, one of the cockatiels I got to fill the emptiness that Simon left, to leukemia 3 weeks ago. My heart is in tatters at the moment. I keep telling God that I can’t handle any more sadness, and then we found out your sweet Blueberry has passed away as well. Let’s hope that between us, that’s 3 - because bad things come in 3s and I can’t handle much more and it looks like you don’t need anymore sad either. I too find it helpful to immerse myself in busy to escape the sadness. I hope you know how much good you do in this world! You taught me to give my birds the best life possible through a great diet, great environment and great training. I model everything I do with my birds after what you’ve taught me and I learn new things from you all the time. My avian vet thinks your SFS is amazing and the lady I’m getting Checo’s new friend from is thrilled to send her baby to me after she heard all I do for my birds. I spend time every day right now training with Checo. He’s eating again, thankfully, and back on the SFS and your cockatiel seed and grain mix. He loves birdy bread and hopefully will figure the pellets out soon. Saturday we pick up his new friend. We’ve even got his training back on track - yesterday he flew across the kitchen to me - he had just started recall just before Max passed. And it’s ALL thanks to YOU. Thank you so much for helping me through my issues with Checo and know that we are all here for you now. Keep posting all your grief if that helps - I’m pretty sure I speak for everyone when I say we’re here for you! {{{HUGS}}} sweet lady!! You got this and we’ve got you!
Marlene Miller
2024-07-11 18:42:03 +0000 UTCI’ve told you from the beginning, I could here you, because of similar circumstances. You first got to give up any guilt feelings, you provided top of the line love and care for Blueberry. You being busy is a good coping mechanism, but I can tell you I still miss my little man. We here as The Bird Tricks family love the Womach family. Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted. It’s OK to mourn, we all do. Love and prayers always
James Maresca
2024-07-11 18:14:51 +0000 UTCI’m so sorry. Your birds know they are loved and have a wonderful life with you and your family. Thank you for all that you do for our feathered friends.
Jack
2024-07-11 18:10:29 +0000 UTC
