Fire Emblem: Engaged Gastronomy (Commission - Ch. 4 Final)

Morning came.

            Alear’s head pounded. She was also dreadfully parched. She blinked several times and thought about calling for Vander, when she realized where she was.

            She couldn’t actually remember buying the room at the inn. She found herself in a cozy simple room with two beds. Chloé was lying face-down on the other bed, snoring loudly with her face at the edge of the bed. Her hair was disheveled and she had drooled a bit.

            As Alear came to, all her senses assaulted her. She hated the light coming through the window. She became aware of how bloated she was, to the point where she could not even sit up. She had never experienced a hangover before, but moreover she had never been this bloated before. It was as though everything they had eaten yesterday had fermented through the night in her stomach, as it was now bubbling furiously.

            She had apparently taken off her armor before passing out. She only wore her skirt and tunic. Her belly poked out like a round hill between her tunic and her skirt. She looked down at it and couldn’t even see her toes.

            “Auuugggghhh,” Alear moaned, tongue lolling out.  

            It may have been a hyperbole but she thought she was dying. Her head pounding and her stomach beyond aching.

            Some undeterminable amount of time later, Alear found the right moment to lie on her side to face Chloé across the room. They had drunk so much the night before that she still felt a little drunk on top of the hangover.

            The moment she turned on her side, her entire stomach gurgled in reaction.

            “Ohhhh,” she moaned. “Chloé? Chlooooééééé.”

            Chloé slowly opened her eyes. She snorted and muttered something incoherently, then said weakly, “Good morning…Divine Dragon…”

            “Chloé…I feel so sick.”

            Alear didn’t know what it was like to be pregnant, but she wondered if this was close enough. What could she do to relieve this discomfort? She couldn’t sit up no matter how hard she tried.

            “Chloé…”

            Alear dozed off for a few minutes before she felt something pressing on her belly. She jolted when she realized that Chloé was awake and standing beside her, massaging her belly.

            “C-Chloé! What are you doing?’

            Chloé herself was a bit dazed, and very bloated by the fact that her belly was poking out of her undone skirt. She wasn’t any bit embarrassed by what she was doing and said, “I’m helping you, Divine One.”

            Alear didn’t know how to react to being touched like that. It did feel good. It simply was…a bit too personal.

            “Do you want me to stop?”

            “No…I’m just…not used to it is all.”

            Chloé smirked. “I’ve been through this many times before. I’ll help you break wind.”

            “B-break wind?”

            “Yes. That’s what’s bothering you. All that food and drink digested throughout the night and all that’s left is undigested material – gas in other words.”

            Break wind? In front of her? Is she insane?

            Chloé rubbed Alear’s belly in wide circles. Alear could feel the gas dislodge from the massage. Though embarrassing, she truly did not want Chloé to stop.

            Chloé then brought up Alear’s left leg and bent it at the knee, pressing it down on her belly. At first Alear thought this would hurt but as Chloé pressed down on her belly, everything felt a thousand times better. The gas in her stomach shifted lower, easing the bloat.

            “Is that okay?”

            “Yes.”

            Chloé then lowered Alear’s left leg and did the same with her right leg. After that, she brought both of Alear’s knees to her chest and told her to hug them as tight as she could. Alear had never felt so silly in such a vulnerable position before. It made her blush.

            “Are you sure this is going to work?” she asked, after some awkward silence.

            “Give it a couple more minutes. Try rolling from side-to-side.”

            Alear did so, but nothing more moved around. She sighed and said, “It feels a little better but I still think---"

            Oh no…

            She felt a sudden rush through her bowels that headed straight to her…

            It’s about to come out! Where’s the lavatory? Oh no, I hope it’s just wind!

            The lavatory must have been out in the hallway, shared among the guests at the inn, because there was none in their room. Alear bit her lip. She had no idea what was in store if she relaxed and let it happen. She was only half-sure I was just wind…

            “Are you alright?” Chloé said, concerned.

            The longer Alear stayed there, the worse it got. Until it reached a breaking point. Her bottom was ready to explode.

            “Ohhhh. Chloé? I think I’m about to—"

            Out of some strange instinct, she lifted up both legs.

            Then, the most disgusting fart escaped her bowels.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRrrrrrrrrrrrrrPPPPPPPPPPPPPPppppppp!

             Much like the largest belch she had let out the night before, she had no control over this one, and could only gaze out with an embarrassed, blushed look on her face as her body emitted the most unholy, unladylike, and undainty sound. At the very least, if there was anything to be grateful about, it was that it hadn’t been shit.

            The large explosion startled Chloé. She looked fully awake and alert now.  

            When the fart finally ended, Alear couldn’t look Chloé in the eyes.

            Despite such a disgusting sound, Chloé was unperturbed and said, “Do you feel better now?”

            Alear couldn’t believe what she heard. Was there nothing that offended Chloé at all? Honestly, it was shocking but in a good way. If Chloé really truly did not care, then Alear could easily let go of the rest of the wind in her bowels – because the gods knew there was more left inside of her. It disgusted her that her body could hold that much gas and produce it so prodigiously. At the same time, she could never feel such amazing relief if she hadn’t been so bloated.

            Do I…like this feeling? Gah! What am I thinking? I’m so weird!

Even though she relieved herself immensely with that bassy explosion, it still wasn’t enough. She was so swollen with gas that she could have probably used it to fill a hot-air ballon.

            “Yes, I do feel better. Except there’s more. A lot more.”

            Chloé smiled. “Well, don’t hold back. It’s not good to keep all that bad air in. I’ll be here if you need another massage.”

            Well…here goes.

            Alear grunted and let fly another tremendous explosion.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

            Sighing aloud, she rolled side-to-side to help move things around. She knew she looked silly doing this, but she admitted that it made her feel better and she may want to even do this from now on in the privacy of her own bedroom without anyone knowing.  

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

            Alear couldn’t help but groan aloud in satisfaction.

            While she was rolling from side-to-side, she hadn’t noticed Chloé laying back on her bed and bringing her knees up to her chest too. Before Alear knew it, Chloé also broke wind.

While Alear’s had sounded like a deep sonorous horn, Chloé’s sounded like a trumpet announcing the arrival of a regent, somewhere in the treble clef. What amazed Alear in particular was how long it went on – for nearly more than a minute!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

            Chloé smirked, grunting aloud. “That’s much better.”

            Without Alear expecting it, a deep fart erupted from her. Chloé snickered and said, “I think you could play the bass while I sing.”

The two of them started laughing. Alear thought this was the weirdest thing ever – they were willingly comparing farts. She had never dreamed of doing such a thing, and with one of her subordinates either. This was the closest she felt to a person. And how could she ever be closer to a person who was comfortable with bodily functions like this?

“Oof!” Chloé then said. “I still have to break wind but it’s stuck.”

Alear now felt so much better that she could bear to sit up and walk around. Her head still hurt like someone hit it with a hammer, but she carried on through it. She went over to Chloé and awkwardly fumbled with her hands a bit trying to imitate Chloé’s massage. Her belly was so taut from the gas. Chloé touched her hands and taught her how to move them.

Alear’s heart jumped and started beating faster when Chloé touched her hands. They were soft and smooth.

“Oh, yes! Right there!”

            Chloé had her press her hands down somewhere below the belly button. Alear nearly jumped back from the massive fart that erupted from Chloé.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT!

            Chloé sighed, relaxing. “There we go. Much better. Thank you, Divine One.”

            Alear went back to her bed and sat down. She recollected the previous days events and they talked about what they last remembered, Alear with a shocked look and Chloé smirking and chuckling. They flirted with a couple burly men in a tavern next door, having mistaken it for the inn, until they realized they were bandits and almost got into a fight. Alear couldn’t get over the fact that Chloé was so used to drinking that she handled her liquor better than Alear. Chloé casually recounted their debauchery as if it were nothing, her voice so sweet and kind.

            “I’m glad you can handle yourself in a bar like that, Chloé,” Alear said.

            “Oh, I’m used to it. Like I said, my parents disapproved of nearly everything I did. I used to wander off on my own and get catcalled. I learned how to fight back.”

            “This has certainly been quite the adventure. Everyone in Somniel must be wondering where we are. I just…ask that you don’t recount too much of what transpired here.”

            “Not at all, Divine One. Although, I hope…you don’t feel anything awkward between us.”

            “No, no! Not at all.”

            Chloé gave her a concerned look. “Are you still worried about what people might think about you?”

            “I feel the pressure of being the Divine Dragon. So yes.”

            Chloé hummed thoughtfully. Alear could tell she really wanted to help and was thinking of the right words to say. “Well. I can’t say much about what it’s like to be the Divine Dragon, but I can tell you that as a noblewoman there has always been pressure for me to act a certain way, as I’ve already told you. But at the same time, as a noblewoman, I can do what I want. I don’t know if I could have had that luxury as a peasant trying to make themselves known.”

            “What are you trying to say?”

            “You’re the DIVINE DRAGON. Everyone in this realm respects you. Except for Elusia of course but that’s besides the point. Who are they to question if the Divine Dragon acts the way she wants? They trust that you fight for peace and justice. Remember how you thought the king of Brodia was different than how he was in person? People have such high and mighty expectations of nobles and gods. I quite frankly believe they are no more different than anybody else. That may sound like heresy to some but I don’t care.”

            Alear relaxed, realizing for the first time since this conversation started that she had tensed up. “I suppose…I never thought about it that way.”

            “So if you happen to break wind in front of your soldiers, I don’t think you need to worry too much.”

            Alear nearly yelped. “I’m not going to do that!”

            “Haha, I know. I’m teasing. But you know what I mean.”  

            After they dressed for the ride back home (Alear still had to keep a couple notches loose on her belt), Alear felt calmer than she did before they arrived. She kept Chloé’s wise words to heart and, on the way out, she even forgot to excuse herself as a sudden burp roused from her stomach.