Fire Emblem: Engaged Gastronomy (Commission - Ch. 3)

After a well-rested food coma, Alear was ready to jump back into the festival. The buzz from the ale had also dissipated. Sunset had just passed. Only very faint rays of light were still visible on the horizon. Florra Port had began lighting the streets with lanterns.

Chloé too had passed out, snoring loudly and appearing terribly unladylike with the empty skewers and beer mug around her. Alear wasn’t sure how to rouse her from her sleep. She felt awkward waking someone up from their slumber, as she had never done so before. Would she just poke or prod if whispering didn’t work?

“Chloé? Chloé.”

Chloé mumbled and moved in her sleep, now lying on her side with her back to Alear.

“I’m ready to go back down if you are. Chloé?”

She reached out to gently tap her on the shoulder – when another unthinkable thing happened.

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Alear jumped and squealed at the sound of Chloé breaking wind. The sound was like a trumpet blast. Alear frankly never imagined a human could fart so loud. And to come from Chloé of all people! Then again, Alear had just begun knowing her for the first time.

Thankfully, there was nobody else around to hear it. The rest of the people lounging on the hills had since gone down to enjoy the remaining hours of the festival.

Chloé snorted aloud and woke up with a dull moan. “What? What happened?”

Blood rushed through Alear’s cheeks. She had no idea what to say, or if Chloé had even acknowledged the sound she made. “Errrrr. Uhhhh. I’m ready to go when you are.”

Chloé wiped some drool from her mouth from all the snoring. She looked dazed at first, then a couple blinks later she yawned, stretched, and said, “Alright, I’m good to go.”

Alear’s stomach still swirled with wind, but it was bearable this time, after all the food had digested during her nap. But at the same time, she felt as though one wrong move could make her expel gas. She cringed at the thought of accidentally breaking wind as loud as Chloé did moments ago.

Once inside the city, she was swept by the sights and sounds, and all worry left her. The city felt cozy and intimate with its firepits and grilled food and folk music around every street corner.

Alear was ready for whatever strange foods Chloé wanted her to try. After swallowing literal bugs and fish eyes, what more could top that?

Well, a lot more.

Chloé knew of the most bizarre snack yet – a bowl of roasted ants, topped with a spicy sauce. These ants weren’t your usual small ones, they were each about the size of a baby bird. They had all been roasted and thrown together in a bowl.

            Alear had been staring at her bowl for a good five minutes as Chloé sat across gaily munching on hers as casually as a bowl of cereal. She rambled on about how she used to gross her family out by eating this.

            I don’t know if I can do this, Alear thought. Ants. They’re actual ants.    

            “Is something wrong with yours?” Chloé said.

            Alear didn’t know what to say. Her brief moment of hesitation told Chloé all she needed to know. She set her bowl down and said, “If this is too much for you, that’s alright. More for me then!”

            “No, it’s fine,” Alear snapped. She wanted to prove to Chloé that she can indulge in these oddities like her. She needed to get closer to her soldiers, no matter what the cost.

            “Divine One, you don’t have to eat—”

            “I’ll eat it. I’ll eat it.”

            Without a further thought, Alear dug her fork into the bowl, piercing a trio of roasted ants, and closed her eyes as she ate them. This had been the crunchiest meal yet, but the sauce really helped. It wasn’t so overwhelming that she needed relief. It was just hot enough to give a pleasant warmth at the back of her throat.

            Alear found that the trick to eating a bowl of ants was to not think about it as ants and not even look at them too much. She pretended she was eating something “normal” like a bowl of oats or pecans.

            After she finished her meal, Alear’s stomach violently grumbled to the point where she clutched her stomach and yelped a little.

            “Are you alright?” Chloé said, finishing up hers. “I’m surprised you ate it so fast. You must have liked it!”

            Alear gritted her teeth. She had wanted to get over it so fast that she had eaten too quickly. Looks like that plan backfired.

            “I usually eat this one slowly because of the sauce. Sometimes it gives me a tummy ache.”

            Alear huffed. I can see why…

            The sauce started to give her a sensation of flames traveling all around her mouth.

            “This sauce can have a delayed reaction, you know,” Chloé said. “It doesn’t taste too spicy at first but after it travels down your throat THEN you feel it.”

            “By the gods, Chloé!” Alear couldn’t help but yell. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

            Chloé appeared shocked by Alear’s outburst. “Apologies, Divine One. I didn’t think you would be so into eating it. You did hesitate. I suppose I was so into telling my stories I didn’t notice.”

            Alear fanned her mouth. The spiciness was getting worse. She stood up and frantically searched for water.

            Chloé said, as-a-matter-of-factly, “Water won’t help you. It’s milk that soothes spiciness.”

            “Milk! Where’s the milk?”

            Chloé looked all around and craned her neck over the crowded tables. “I don’t know if the milk stand is still open but sometimes, they serve spiked milk. It’s beer with—”

            Alear didn’t care what it was. Her throat was now burning so much she thought she was going to choke. “Where? Where?”

            Chloé pointed to the stand.

            Alear shoved her way through the crowd, creating an angry stir among them. A nondescript genial gentleman hosted the stand and smiled. In the midst of his introduction, Alear grabbed the first mug that was on the counter and downed it.

            “H-hey, you have to pay for that!”

            Alear blindly threw coins at him.

            She had no idea what she was drinking but it didn’t seem to have milk in it. Her throat was still firing up with spiciness. She gagged as she tried to speak, indicating to the vendor that she wanted the one with milk. He understood that she was in distress and began dispensing the liquid from the tap. He handed a large liter-sized mug.

            Alear chugged it instantly. She never thought she could drink so much so quickly, but when one’s mouth was literally on fire one was desperate for relief. She did not think about how full she would feel afterwards. Her main concern was to get rid of this painful spice.

            When she finished, she slammed the mug on the table and gasped aloud. Some beer dribbled from her lips and she wiped it with her arm.

            “Uh-oh…”

            Alear felt sick. Her stomach turned into one big knot. She then couldn’t breathe for a terrible moment as her chest swelled with gas. She thought she might throw up when instead---

“BEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!”

            Alear blushed in the middle of letting out the biggest belch of her entire life. The gas that had swelled inside her was uncontrollable. She had felt possessed. Her body had made the decision for her to belch. It was so damn loud that everyone around her heard it over all the talking and all the music. The vendor was shocked and stared at her wide-eyed, then began laughing.

            Chloé was standing next to her. When she arrived, Alear didn’t know, but Chloé laughed too and said, “Well, you may not know yet how to turn into a dragon, but you can surely sound like one!”

            Alear, her cheeks still red, scowled, “Shut up!”

            “Oh. Sorry, Divine One.’

            The crowd and the vendor quickly forgot about the rude noise that came out of Alear. She still felt the sting of embarrassment as they walked away.

            “See what I mean?” Chloé said. “There’s so much eating and drinking going on here, that nobody cares if you belch out loud. It’s simply expected and unsurprising.”

            Alear still kept her gaze low to the ground.

            “At any rate, do you feel better now?”

            “Yes. My throat doesn’t feel like it’s going to go up in flames anymore.”

            “Good. You did drink a lot though. You may start feeling it in a few minutes.”

            Blast, this is embarrassing, Alear thought.

            Chloé raised a white bottle. “I bought some sake for our next meal without realizing this would happen. It’s okay though, if we have too much to drink. We can stay over one of these inns if we can’t make it back tonight.”

            “We’ll see,” Alear said. To her, that meant she really didn’t want to but didn’t want to turn down Chloé’s offer to drink more. She hoped instead that the night’s events would trail off and they would forget about it.

            Chloé led them to a ramen vendor she had meant to find before earlier in the day. Alear had thought she was reaching her limit for the day until she smelled the aroma of fresh ramen bowls. They had chicken, beef, fish, shrimp – everything delectable.

            “Wow,” Alear said, staring at a vendor who filled massive bowls. They looked like they could hold a couple liters.

            “Looks delicious right?” Chloé said. “This may be our last stop of the day.”

            Thank the gods, Alear thought, sighing to herself. I don’t think I can bear to fit any more food in me after this. I may not even eat for two whole days after today!

            Alear braced herself for whatever bizarre food Chloé wanted to eat next. The ramen vendors looked normal enough, but Chloé led them further down the alley of street vendors. The vendor she chose was from Elusia, which was quite awkward. She could easily tell that the rest of the festival ostracized the old Elusyan woman serving ramen by the fact that her tent was worn and nobody else waited for food. Everyone walked by pretending it didn’t exist.

            Alear had to admit she was on her toes as they approached the vendor, who gazed out with heavy eyes at the people, as if thinking dangerous thoughts. But when she spotted Alear and Chloé, she smiled warmly and asked them, “Are you lost?’

            “No, of course not,” Chloé said. “We wanted to have your silkworm pupae ramen. Two please!”

            Alear reeled at what Chloé said.

            Silkworm…pupae…ramen?

            Her stomach surprisingly didn’t turn at the thought. She had been used to the bizarre foods by now, but the phrase still shocked her.

            Humans really will eat anything…

            The old woman blinked a couple times. “Oh. Really? Why thank you! I will make sure this batch is the best yet!”

            Alear leaned over as the old woman prepared the massive ramen bowls. The silkworm pupae looked like nuggets. If Chloé hadn’t said what they were, she could have blithely mistaken them for chicken, were it not for maybe the odd series of ridges that gave away the sense that something was off about them.

            Alear held her steaming bowl with two hands. They sat at a rickety old table next to the vendor. Everywhere else had been occupied. The bowl was big enough for two people. Alear couldn’t imagine eating all of this. If she finished this bowl, she would have to tear off her clothes.

            “Chloé?”

            Alear cocked her head sideways in shock at what Chloé was doing – she was undoing her skirt – right there in plain view of everyone!

            “Yes, Divine One?”

            Alear lowered her voice, feeling utterly embarrassed at what she was about to say. “We’re out in public. And you’re opening your skirt?”

            Chloé smiled gracefully. “You haven’t officially experienced the festival at Florra Port until you need to loosen something!”

            “But…but…”

            Chloé said nothing further on the subject. She dug in and started eating. Alear began eating too, but her belly quickly pressed up against her clothes and she simply couldn’t feel comfortable. The strange thing was that she really did want to eat more – the food was delicious, and the alcohol from before probably started to kick in and dull her senses. She had to lean forward and support her head with her hand.

            Maybe it was the growing giddiness in her from the alcohol that made her feel less ashamed, or maybe it was a desire to follow Chloé’s advice – but Alear reached down and undid the buckle on her belt. She didn’t simply loosen it – she fully opened it.

            The subsequent relief was enough to make her sigh aloud. When she realized that she had sighed out loud ecstatically, she put a hand to her mouth and blushed.

            Just like that, she felt infinitely better. Her belly hung loose and free over her skirt.

            “I see you’ve taken my advice, Divine One,” Chloé said.

            Alear blushed once more. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone noticed.”

            Chloé laughed. “It’s alright. I’m only teasing.” She poured a cup of sake and offered to cheers with Alear.

            Am I indulging too much? I am the Divine Dragon. I shouldn’t be eating and drinking so much. I’ve got a world to fight for.

            “Something wrong?” Chloé asked.

            Alear brushed it aside with an excuse of needing to slow down. Chloé glanced at her bowl and said, “I can finish whatever you don’t eat.”

            “W-what? First of all, I can’t believe you could. And even if you could, you shouldn’t. It’s simply too much for one person. I will finish my own. I just have to pace myself is all.”

            Chloé grinned. “Alright, if you say so.”

            “You don’t believe I can finish this?”

            “I didn’t say that.”

            “But you implied it.”

            “If you think I implied it then take it as you wish.”

            “I-I can finish eating this. I am the Divine Dragon after all.”

            Chloé still gave her a grin as if disbelieving her. It might have been the sake speaking, but Alear felt a surge of determination to finish. Suddenly, she had all the willpower in the realm to eat this. In fact, she put the bowl to her lips and began gobbling it down. She stopped briefly to dap any broth that dripped down her chin with a napkin.

            “Whoa, slow down,” Chloé said. “You were right about pacing yourself, you know. That’s part of how I can eat so much. It’s all about portion control.”

            Alear didn’t care. She knew she was above mere mortals. She was, essentially, a dragon after all, right? And dragons had ravenous appetites. Maybe Chloé was right – she was holding back all this time. She should let go and be herself. If she wanted to prove herself this one time, she should be allowed to.

            Alear’s clothes started to tighten. Her belly button started to poke out.

            When the broth was just about finished, she picked off the ramen and the silkworm pupae with her chopsticks. Gorging on them by the second.

            Alear couldn’t believe it, but a couple minutes later, her bowl was completely empty. Not a single strand of ramen remained. Not a drop of broth.

            Chloé had been staring with wide eyes. She hadn’t even finished her bowl. She looked fearful to the point where Alear had to ask, “What is it?”

            “For a moment you almost looked…inhuman.”

            “Oh gosh, really?”

            “I don’t mean in a metaphorical sense, I mean literally. Your eyes lit up and I swore you appeared more…dragon-like!”

            Alear didn’t know what to say because she was too embarrassed. What did that mean? Did she somehow unlock some hidden power through the desire to eat the entire bowl? She was about to speak when she felt her chest well up with air. She put a hand to her chest and couldn’t speak. The air became so great that it nearly felt like she was in danger of throwing up.

            Chloé reached out with a hand over the table. She nearly gasped. “Divine One, are you alright?”

            Oh gods. I can’t hold it in! Alear thought. There’s absolutely no way this will come out quietly!

“BrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaAAAaaAaaaaaAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuUUUUUrrrRRRRRrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!”

            The very sound of her belch sounded like the roar of a dragon, deep and bellowing. It wavered in pitch up until the very end, which must have been nearly a minute long. If she was embarrassed about her last belch, this one topped it off. Alear had absolutely no control over it and felt the air rushing out like a cork had popped. Her stomach felt so much better after she let it out that she cried out in a strange, embarrassing orgasmic moan.

            “Oh….GOSH!” Alear put her hand to her mouth. She looked up at the old woman at her stand, and anyone passing by. Everyone around her had been staring. “I am SO sorry! My apologies! SINCEREST apologies!”

            Mortified, she dabbed her mouth and felt too ashamed to look anyone in the eyes. Chloé began laughing so hard she nearly fell off her seat. Alear muttered under her breath for her to stop laughing.

            “Stop it. I just made a fool of myself.”

            Chloé caught herself and wiped a tear from her eyes. “I have never heard anyone belch like that in my entire life.”

            “Stop it. Don’t rub it in.”

            “That was quite frankly impressive. Surely nothing I’m ever capable of doing!”

            Alear muffled a few much smaller burps with her napkin. She tried to tell Chloé to stop talking about it but kept being interrupted by all the little “urps” in between.

            “I must say, this is the most fun I’ve had at the festival here yet,” Chloé said. “I wish we can bring more of our companions here someday.”

            “You will NEVER tell ANYONE else about this.”

            “Of course, Divine One.”

            Chloé was smirking. Alear pointed at her. “I’m serious. Not. One. Soul.”

            “Yes, yes. You have my word.”

            Chloé continued to finish her ramen. Alear held her bloated belly with one hand under the table and with the other kept muffling the oncoming storm of small burps that never seemed to end. Her stomach felt better and yet it was in complete disarray. It never stopped rumbling and moving around. She had a terrified thought wondering if the bugs they had eaten were still alive. Chloé said that was ridiculous.

            Alear gazed down at her empty ramen bowl. All that broth was now in her – swirling and causing a ruckus. With each moment that passed, Alear felt more swollen than the last.

            Watching Chloé finish her food was still a sight to behold. She remained composed and genteel, despite having more food and alcohol in her system than Alear. Alear frankly admired Chloé’s ability to appear so noble while at the same time exhibiting striking individuality and rebelliousness.

            They still had the bottle of sake to finish. They cradled over it for some time, eventually finishing it. At long last, Chloé started showing signs of being drunk, with flushed cheeks and a looser disposition.

            “I think…” Chloé said, unable to sit still. “we need to stay at one of these inns…for the night…”

            Alear had started seeing double a few minutes ago. She had fiercely tried to focus but when they finished the bottle she gave up and let her stupor take over. She tried to speak but an incoherent garble came out of her mouth. She instead nodded to indicate that she agreed.

            Chloé led the way, albeit staggering. Alear absolutely needed help in order to walk, so she had her arm over Chloé’s shoulders. Her knees were weak and the streets were a blur of candlelight. It was now late into the night. She heard lots of laughter, drunk like theirs. It became difficult to recall the previous minutes as time went on. They talked and laughed with some strangers, found an inn, something about burping out loud in front of the clerk at the inn…and then…