Cruising Along in Desolate Era c3

*HISS!!!*

A loud hiss spread through the whole area as Qingqing's size easily surpassed the biggest wooden tower in the village.

All the invading tribesmen dropped to their knees and started begging, seeing a Xiantian Diremonster.

“Now that I think about this. This scenario is a plotline trope!” Ren ignored the begging people as he stroked his chin. A look of realisation appeared in his eyes.

“I just had a breakthrough to Xiantian Ki refining. Is the world demanding me to show off? Sadly, my martial arts are abysmal at this point.”

As Ren was mumbling to himself, the snake looked at her Master. A sigh escaped from her mouth.

“Please don't kill us! We didn't know we were provoking a Xiantian!”

The leading tribesman kowtows.

“It doesn't change the fundamentals that you interrupted my first proper meal in weeks! Do you realise how much the bland food drove me nuts!?” With a stomp, he appeared in front of the kowtowing guy and started to shake him.

“It was like eating tasteless garbage! No taste whatsoever! The point is that I know jack-shit about spices and herbs!” Ren started to rant about his experiences with food beforehand in this reality.

His snake behind him just looks with a deadpan look at him.

“...Umm…s-s-senior, we could arrange as much salt and herbs as you want!!!” The leading invader said with a sweaty forehead. His world was still spinning from all that shaking, but he could still understand what the senior was saying to him!

Ren stopped shaking and instead pondered on what he had just heard.

“You could.”

Hope started to appear in the invading tribe members’ eyes.

“But!”

It disappeared the next second.

“It will take time, and I have no fucking patience for that.” Even though he swore, he patted the leader’s head as if he was a child.

There was a smile on Ren’s face. It confused the shit out of the leader!

Then Ren’s other hand went over in front of the leader’s face. A questioning look appeared on the Leader’s face. Why is Ren clenching fist like that!?

What happened next petrified shit out of the invaders! A finger flick erased the leader, who was a peak Houtian!

“!!!”

There was no body left, no blood! Nothing! The guy ceased existing!

“H-He killed Braveshell like it was nothing!!!”

“G-Gods save us!!!”

“I-I don't want to die!”

The guys started snivelling and crawled away; others were backpedalling with their hands.

As they were doing that, Ren slowly stood up and looked at them. There was a small, wicked smile on his lips.

“I hope you all realise there is no way to escape.” He softly said that before he got an idea.

“Qingqing, you can eat all of them. But leave one behind. You can choose which one you want.”

*HISS!*

With orders given, the Diremonster lunged like a viper and started to swallow them whole.

The thing about humans in this reality is that they taste delicious for Direbeasts.

Because of that, wilds are supposed to be dangerous. But in this place, high cultivation means better civilisation levels. So the further away from big cities, the more brutal the people are, and on top of that, the wilds want to eat you.

Because of such things, tribes can cease to exist overnight.

As Ren was thinking, Qingqing made short work of the invading army.

“Sorry, mates. But it's wrong reality to use big numbers like that. Single realm is more than enough to change the tides of battles.” Ren pretended to sound like a serious elder while stroking his non-existent beard.

Just like the teen instructed, the Azure Skysnake left a single petrified guy alive.

As she finished her meal, she lazily crawled over to her Master, shrunk in size and wrapped around his left-hand biceps.

All done.

“Well, I am sure you know your way home. Tell your buddies over there that if I see you back here, I will turn your tribe into my martial arts testing grounds.” Ren said that while walking back to the village, he waved his hand at the last remaining invader.

“Y-Yes! Senior! A Thousand, thank you!”

With that said, the guy started to run to his tribe.

“Well, that went well.” the teen casually commented on how this went down.

~~~

As Ren returned to the tribe, he swiftly went to eat. He was like a hungry predator enjoying food for the first time.

He ignored the petrified tribe members. It only lasted for a few minutes until they all recovered. They quickly became pleased as they realised that the Blackmount tribe did take their stuff this time around!

It made them excited!

After dinner, Ren decided to rest for a bit. He ended up watching how some of the boys were training.

‘What are they doing?’ The teen pondered on their training methods.

‘I guess you would learn something if you just keep thrusting your spear.’

The black-haired teen just kept staring at what they were doing. He realised that they had no idea what is a ‘kata’ or even a follow-up move.

It was basic. Stab, fall back, stab again.

No wonder that people, even in these parts, are Houtians. The moment you are slightly smarter, and bam, you become Xiantian.

Regardless, after watching them, Ren pondered what to do next. He knew he was in territory close to the Ironwood Clan and Ji Clan.

Should he join one of them? His dream of having a palace with beauties would be one step closer.

As he pondered on that, he stroked his chin.

‘Wait… if I join the Ironwood clan, my name would be Ironwood Ren. That sounds lame. But if I join Ji— I will be Ji Ren—  wait! Jiren!?’

The teen’s eyes bulged out. He recalled that alien from Dragon Ball Super!

“Jiren it is then. I will join the Ji clan.” He said with a resolute voice. Just for the sake of having a badass name, Ren will join a clan. Become its Clan Master and have a fancy palace full of hot chicks.

Once he decided, he stood up and walked to Dala, who was training youngsters.

“Dala, do you know how to join Ji clan?”

“...Join? I don't think there will be any issues for you, Young Master Ren. You have cultivation as high as Clan leader’s.”

“I know that Zifu Disciple is the highest cultivation they have. But isn't there a ceremony that decides the next leader?” The teen pondered out loud as he recalled a ceremony to decide the next leader.

“The Golden Sword ceremony. Once every four years, the heir is decided to the clan leader's position.

But it's not always guaranteed. Because the Heir would change every single time, instead, they used this ceremony to recruit members for the clan.” Dala explained to Ren, who was already grinning once more.

Another trope detected! Tournaments!

“When is the next tournament?” Ren asked with anticipation.

“A year, give and take.”

“...A year?” Ren deadpanned. For a whole ass year, he won't be able to call himself Jiren!

“Yes, I think it's a year,” Dala said uncertainly.

“Hmm, okay. Gather your people. We are going to collect whatever remains of that Aquatic Rhino. Then we are going to sell the excess things. Like the bones, get some gold and then you will find out the exact date.”

“Y-Yes! Young Master.” The tall and burly man scrambled to gather some men while Ren looked at a pair of young teens Dala was training.

“What are your names?” Ren asked with a somewhat bored tone. He has nothing else to do, so he decides to socialise instead.

“...Umm, I am Ah Yi, Young Master Ren.”

With a nod, Ren then looked to the other teen.

“... It's Tyson.”

‘...Tyson!? As in Mike Tyson!?’

For a second, Ren looked heatedly at the younger teen.

‘Wait, if I can train him, I could make him into an expert! Imagine when he loudly says that his name is Mike Tyson! That would be hilarious! A hidden gag which no one would understand!

Plus, there are possible tropes if I train him.’

“...Y-Young Master?” Tyson started to look uncomfortable with the heated gaze.

“If you change your name to Mike and surname Tyson, I will train you. You will be my disciple.” Ren very seriously said that to the kid.

The kid gasped like a fish out of water.

He swiftly dropped on his knee.

“Mike Tyson pays respects to his Master!”

The teen’s lips twitched, and his eyes nearly teared up. Just how hilarious this situation was!

Finally, a source of amusement!

“...Good! Good! Stand up. We will start your training immediately. I have a year of spare time; we will use that!” Ren very seriously explained to the kid. He was already getting into the role of Teacher!

Ren looked around for a second. He didn't see any trees here, so he decided to check outside the village and find a tree.

“Wait here.” With a casual kick-off, he jumped out from the village and descended to the outskirts.

As he was gone, Ah Yi looked at Mike Tyson with wide eyes.

“T-To think a Zifu Disciple will take you as a disciple, Tyson.”

“I am no longer Tyson. I am Mike Tyson!” Just like that, the young teen took pride in his new name. Just what Ren wanted!

~~~

The teen prepared a tree trunk for Mike Tyson to train his punching.

‘Holy—this is just hilarious…’ Just thinking about this makes Ren chuckle.

Qingqing was staring at him, and could not understand why he was chuckling to himself like that.

Regardless, the teen taught some basics of boxing to the kid and told him to practise this as he will be testing him out later.

Once he showed the basics, he left with ten guys to collect the Aquatic Rhino’s parts.

It took a while with their journey. At the end, they found the corpse. What they found was Bian Tigers and other critters feasting on the remains.

Ren swiftly deposed the critters with his superior cultivation.

“Young Master. These could potentially fetch some gold, too.” The tribesmen said to Ren. He pointed at the new corpses.

“You can collect these Houtian Diremonsters at your leisure. They are not as important as Aquatic Rhino.” Ren casually motioned to his hand not to pay attention.

With a nod, the ten men worked on the beast while Ren walked over and sat down, watching them cut the animal to pieces.

However, it took far too long, so he started chopping it himself.

It only took him casual swings from his stone blade.

With two strokes, the rhino’s corpse was cut into four pieces. He swung several more times, and there were eight pieces, then sixteen.

“Should be good enough.” Ren nodded to himself, seeing a mountain of sliced-up meat and bones.

“Yes! Young Master Ren. We can start moving the pieces once we remove the organs.” Dala said with an excited tone. He had never seen someone so effortlessly cut an Xiantian beast like that!

“Good, then do so.”

With a nod, he walked away a few metres before practising his swordsmanship.

He returned to practise 108 Swords of Demons and Gods.

As he did that, the tribesmen would look at him practising with some awe, making Ren cringe. What he is practising is literal Mortal rank stances.

There is barely any hidden mystery and true meaning. It's basics among basics.

So, it was hard for him to take this seriously. Regardless, they were done a couple of hours later, and the group could return to the village now.

Several hours later, after sleeping outdoors, Ren watched the tribesmen sleep overnight. He didn't want any of the meat or bones to get stolen by beasts.

He spends the night cultivating his Qi. As always, his Snake greedily ‘helped’ him.

One short sleep later, they returned to the tribe.

When Ren saw the kid training, he nearly laughed again. Seeing that serious look didn't help him in controlling his chuckles.