Equality, first draft

So I have finished the script for the next video, I was really into the content, so I'm expanding on it for a post. First draft is up. The next step is to articulate a lot of the one off statements so you see what goes behind them.

Fun times, enjoy. Rendering the video now, will have it for you hopefully today 

Women don’t admire their equal, 

That’s problem with modern relationships in a nutshell. There is a reason I’ll always rally against the ideals of the traditional conservative, or TRADCON, as it’s because they are living in a Norman Rockwell painting while the rest of men suffer in the real world.

Two corporate professionals get in a relationship are equals right?

They both earn the same money, maybe she earns a little more, but that’s no big deal, it’s our money, right? 

You both work and put food on the table, so you’re both equals right? 

A bonding of equals over a lifetime, 50% of your white picket fence, 50% access to your children. It sounds great on paper, but this isn’t what happens. During a divorce or separation, guys find this out. Your friends almost always take her side over yours. She could have screwed around on you for years, and they will still be on her side, and why wouldn’t they? She was the one giving everyone Christmas cards to throw out after you saw them displayed in the house.

Blood is thicker than water, right? Her parents obviously love her more, but your parents have your back right? You’d be surprised how many men I have spoken with whose parents tell them to suck it up and try to win back a girl who is clearly in love else, even if she is still in love with your paycheck. And this is where the traditional conservative is caught in the illusion. 

Bringing home the bacon isn’t how man gets the admiration from his woman anymore. Bacon is 3 bucks at the grocery store, and your supermarket masculinity is no longer required. 

You could ask her to be a stay at home mom, but why? Most women don’t want to, and no one can tell her otherwise. Maybe she’s right, but that’s beside the point. 

Even if she does want to stay at home, housewives aren’t beating clothes against rocks anymore, they finger their phones while the kids spend 8 hours at school, 8 hours asleep, and 8 hours where you need to pull your fair share at home raising the kids.

The point is, she is bored, or soon will be. What do bored women do? Something exciting, or someone. And when you finally fight for your own dignity, the nation decided that she sacrificed her career as a successful supermodel lawyer in order to occasionally fold the laundry for you. You work all day, so clearly have no idea how to raise a family, she will have to handle it. She can’t do it alone though, so could you continue to pay for her to finger her phone while she gets around to folding the laundry? Thanks.

Now this isn’t some woe is me, sour grapes story for a Fight Club-esque testicular cancer meeting so we can sleep again. It’s that your ability to provide is no longer what is valuable in a modern relationship. 

Equals are disposable, greaters are invaluable.

Do you know what the bottleneck is for modern relationships? Attractive men with status. Not status as in how good your job is, I mean status as in ‘other women will take him off your hands when you’re done with him’. There’s always a laundry list of leadership qualities that middle ages soccer moms love to rattle off when you bring this up, and all roads lead to Rome.

All those qualities serve their one master.

Life in the west is good, too good. We will never starve in the street, and without serious effort on your side, it’s nearly impossible to kill yourself from your own incompetence. Without the drive for survival, whats next? Worrying about tomorrow of course. Then again, our social safety net is unsustainable, and has been for nearly a century. 

For the last 90 years we’ve known that we are this close to collapse, and when we do, those men who can fix a fence will be our new saviors. The meek shall inherit the earth, the question is which generation of meek? Usually the one who can’t get women to love them for who they truly are.

Whats next then if not belonging. People are social animals put into an isolating world. Most men have no idea how to be socially charming, most women don’t either, but they don’t have to be, not until the percentage of men who would sleep with them drops below 80%. This is why the trope of the crazy middle aged women is a thing. They were always crazy, but when you want to sleep with them you ignore it, so she never learns. 

Tell me again how bad it is that people don’t sugar coat your flaws?

The point is this, if you, a man, are able to survive without killing yourself, hold conversations with people and not get the save me eyes, look good enough that people want to like you, your life changes. Something about people hungers for belonging, it sees you as their Kisby Ring, their lifeline. 

You can be that beacon of aspiration, and somewhere, deep down in a girls lizard brain, a thought. It learns to stand upright, begin to walk, then run. Women start to look up to you. Women want to look up to you; Not that girl, but more girls. 

The more that women want to like you, the more Women want to like you. 

Is your goal to keep a girl around you long enough to raise a family, then you best stop wasting your time on your 80 hour, high paid workweek, because when the divorce zombies come over that hill, you’re just helping her Fear of missing out by stocking up on her chad fund. Guys often refer to Hypergamy as something that chews up men and spits them out, in reality:

Hypergamy is monogamy. 

She is fiercely loyal to the best man in her life. When hubby is no longer the best man in her life, she’s fiercely loyal to the new guy. The king is dead, long live the king

The other guy doesn’t even have a job, but that’s ok, she has a great one. The other guy doesn’t have to be good with kids, between school, TV and sleep, she only has to be on for a few hours, and you’re literally fighting to be the babysitter once she leaves you.

What does that other guy have that you don’t? a six pack, he’s charming, and damnit if people don’t like him. He doesn’t put up with any shit, but doesn’t get in a huff over it either. He is honest about what he wants, and doesn’t get mad if he doesn’t get it, he knows he will get it elsewhere. He’s always got a foot out the door too, and nothing is more attractive than someone you can’t quite catch, but be damned if it isn’t fun to keep trying.

You could have been the other guy, but you were too busy pulling in that overtime shift so you could afford new hardwood floors, the old ones are dinged up when you were watching the kids all weekend while the ol lady got her hair did.

I’ll end on this point. When I talk about congruence, this is the ugly truth of it. Are you acting in a way that gets you closer to you goal? Or are you acting in a way that encourages your girl to take advantage of you. Think really hard about this one, because I’ve seen men become very angry at the idea of being the absent, breadwinning babysitter is the not best way to be a happily married man.

Luckily, it’s always her fault during the divorce. Her friends don’t agree, your family doesn’t agree, but that’s OK, deep down, you know it was her fault.