Patreon, R&P Q&A #192: Week 92

What do I want, I don’t want the mother of my children living on the street. So if I have to be manipulative to keep her off the street I guess that’s what I’ll do. What do I want, I would like to continue to grow my dog training business. I have a reoccurring client every weekday. A month ago I had one reoccurring client. What do I want, I would like to have a full social life. I lucked into a very pleasant plate. A pleasant six is better than a cunty nine. We have had sex a handful of times. very reliable Sunday night. Single mom. I cannot get a lawyer to call me back. Does it really matter if I get divorced now or a year from now? But with that said I still want to fuck the redhead. I don’t know what to do about either of those. Also I guess I should keep the redhead for my insurance. So the wife is in Montana with her sister, and I have one plate in Hawaii, I would like a second plate in Hawaii. It has been nice having some pleasant companionship and being able to compare the difference. Even over the phone the difference in the two is pretty dramatic. I am awful at starting conversations, but once they get going I’m feel like I’m good, it’s just starting a conversation with a pretty girl is strange, I’ve been married for fucking 20 years. It was Halloween and I was walking my dog, a Woman walked by in a cute cat costume and said I hope he doesn’t bite me and she smiled at me, and I smiled back said nothing. Missed opportunity. I give out a lot of business cards. I feel like I’m doing OK promoting my business, but when I want to fuck her I freeze up.

Oys 16. Sex/relationships/escalation Had something odd happen. I was talking with my friend and her sister. The friend mentions that I called a girl in the gym cute and then her sister starts asking for details on what "I would do to her". My response was to blow it off a bit and say that I dont really plan too much further than just hanging out with someone and it goes whereever it goes. My thoughts on this in retrospect are that this could have been a good place to talk/joke about some sex stuff and even rope her in, in a plausibly deniable way but it has hit me that I am very rusty on how to do that / flirt & escalate. It has happened some other times as well where im talking to people and I somewhat hit a blank wrt flitring and plausibly making stuff sexual. On reflection this is an area where i overall lack some experience / practice and is something i want to work on fixing. I am thinking to go through some books first (game, daybang, m3) I also heard rian mentioning sterling's stuff as well but I am worried that I am going to just end up procrastinating. As such just picking one book/method and applying what I read a chunk at a time will be best. I am thinking m3/game. Ill approach it by making a concious effort to get through the book in a first pass then come back through and read / work through it with more attention. This means that in the next week i need to be finished with my first pass, with probably 1/2 of the book being read through on the weekend. I am realizing that my wife seems to be shit-testing more often than comfort testing. That or just outright bitching. I have had some interactions with girls where they respond completely differently to my wife and I am struggling to make sense of it. EG Jodi her "I dont feel heard" me "yeah but you are safe" her "I dont FEEEEEELLL safe" me "Yeah, I get that. I suppose I can see how if i were in your position i might not feel safe either" her "calms right the fuck down" Wife "I dont like how yousaid one thing then change your sentance midway through" me "Yeah, I suppose it is possible for me to say it differently, what dont you like about it when i do that" her "It just feels rude when you do that. I know you are correcting what you say but it still feels rude" me "I see, so you are wanting me to be more consistent and just say one thing" her "yes" Reading this it also hits me that It does seem to be different situations but i still cant help but get the impression that I am being shit tested. Going forward ill take more notes when her and i get into stuff like the above that way i will actually be able to read over it again as opposed to guessing which i am now. I also am not getting the impression that the majority of our interactions are positive so I am starting to note down how many are whatever they are so that I can compare them. Emotionally I am somewhat worried about what I will find though work Lost 2 weeks to technical issues and am now up for a review. I think this one is going to be bad. I havent been as productive as I have wanted to be all year and so far i have been coding slowly, perhaps unsurprisingly. I dont think ill lose my job but i am unhappy with having had a slow year. I want to do a job i would be proud of and bang out code not this slow shit. On reflection I have realised that working as a solo dev with no other dev's im close to working no similar stuff is killing me inside. I want to get out of this shitty headspace as a point of pride but I am going to be changing departments/teams asap. Gym 52kg x 5 on bench yesterday. The rest of the lifts involve my back so they are in rehab as far as I am concerned. Adding 5-10 kg per week to them till they are back where I want them Down to 90kg's as of sat, So cut is working. On the topic of exercise. I found that "Renascence periodization" is a really good YT channel with respect to information. Also, they actually have research published and their lecture style vids are really good. Plain presentation of exercise science.

Alex