Patreon, R&P Q&A #197: Week 98

I'm a little late. Quick update on my situation... RE: crazy kid / boundaries I want to be actionable on Ryan's advice because he thinks most don't, which is true of course. I want to be different. So, I'll focus on that. 1. Cum on Tits - Tried and failed. Wife was star fishing a bit a few nights ago, so I pulled out and said fuck this mid sex. She quickly said, no... let me go on top and we did that for a bit and then I said, just titty fuck me. And she rejected that. So fail. 2. Boundaries - Some success. We had a post mortem with my kid's main counsellor. I was pretty disagreeable with both her and my wife on next steps. They first wanted to see if we could work it out for him to come overnight on Christmas Eve to which I said that's not happening. And then they wanted to practice coping strategies with him at home to try to make Christmas Day go better. Again I said no, I don't want him coming home anytime soon. We can do Christmas Day at my parents house instead. And they two of them were debating what to say to him and how to inform him. I laughed at both and said, you just say it. Stop apologizing to him and making fake excuses. He can't stay overnight because he was violent in his last visit. If he wants to come back he can prove himself. "Ya, that's a good idea each of them said. Can you tell him?". 3. Draft Divorce Agreement - No progress. Give me time. 4. Relationship Dynamics - Wife told me last night that she is going to be out tonight. I didn't ask where, why and when and I could tell she was disappointed that I didn't ask any details. This morning she texted asking why I don't say bye in the morning with a tear face emoji. My response was, 'OK, bye'. Maybe not the best response but a fog nonetheless. Last Saturday, she had a day and evening at her friends house which she does every couple months and normally drinks and takes a cab home. Usually I drop her off. I talked to her the night before and said I want to leave by 10am so I can go to the office and get some work done. At 9:45, she wanted to drive something to my kid so I told her I wasn't going to wait for her and she can figure out how to get there herself. She came home earlier that night and wasn't drinking. I think in the back of her head she's a bit worried that I was going to head out mysteriously again (since I've been doing that with the Mountain Bike chicks). But that didn't result in good sex the next day, per above, so how worried can she be?

Dave

Sometimes, I really hate that Rich Cooper has an audience... Look, limiting retarded fucks in your life is a good thing. Trying to have the "War Room of Excellence" has your circle of friends, maybe not so much. Different people provide different value. Don't get hung up on how "successful" they are. Do they provide value?

It´s question about who´s and isn´t bad friend. I´ve encountered lists of signs some person is a waste of time. For example: --> He doesn´t have money --> Doesn´t know how to dress --> Smokes, drinks alcohol --> Goes late --> Never helps you when you need him --> They are always positive --> He wears sunglasses --> Bla, bla, bla... If I were seeking such people who don´t have those characteristics, I wouldn´t talk with anybody including you. By the way, Rian, you wear googles on head which isn´t that stylish and you don´t wear rings, should I stop talking to you, Rian? Of course it´s bullshit. If I were to ditch everybody who isn´t ¨some caricature I make in my head,¨ I wouldn´t talk to anybody including you on your patreon. Some real life examples: 1) I´ve met Patrick, gay, in shop. He´s shop assistant, he wears christian cross as earrings, even though he isn´t crhistian. I am not gay and he´s fine with me not showing him my butthole. This Saturday I´m going to watch new avatar with him in cimema. 2) I´ve met Bob in train, poor student, still living with his parents since he studies his second degree. Doesn´t have time for full time job obviously. 3) My parents were so toxic I simply limited contact with them. I was invited for birthday celebration in December and I declined. I haven´t declined because I am resentful because of them not giving me the childhood I always wanted. I have declined because I don´t like hearing shittalk about each other and hearing envy comments on me. No thanks. 4) When I lived in Prague, I used to live with 3 students. I bought myself 4 shirts and someone from them threw them away. When I could move away, I did. They invited me for birthday celebration, I declined. I´ve declined because they have habit: Throw away my stuff when I buy it. Not because they were vietnamese and vietnamese in Czech Republic have bad reputation which I won´t talk about. 5) I participated in theatre classes outside of my town with one chick - acquaintance. Everybody from those classes thought, she´s my GF and I got preselected. Anyways she wears socks with holes in them. I won´t hang with her again even though I share with her interest. By the way she fixed her socks already. --------------- My attitude towards bad/good friends/people who are waste of time: It´s a scale not a list of things. If person has enough bad qualities I just can´t stand him, I leave them to their drown in their pithole. I leave or I kick them from event. Or I say farewell. It´s not that they don´t wear rings, so I ditch them. It is: they dress just enough fine, so I can´t say they dress like ¨somebody who I don´t want to hang out with¨. Because of this I can allow them to come into my life. By the way Magic the gathering guys dress so bad, the glasses on head instead of eyes are just the tip of the cake called ugliness. I stopped hanging out with them not because of that. In addition to that, games were spent by arguing among them if women are hoes if they take care of themselves. So I stopped going there. Like I said it´s scale and with MTG it reached max on my meter. It´s not that they are negative and critisizing me, so I ditch them. Everybody critisizes even you. If they have thoughts such as: you can never make it and such, eventually they will be limits to my own goals. So then I might ditch them. My mom asked me: ,,Why do you spend time with your friends drinking and not with me when I drink?¨ ,,Mommy, It´s simple, my friends control themselves even when they are drunk a bit. You don´t control yourself even when you don´t drink.¨ I haven´t heard from her in a year almost, I can´t complain. So who is good person to spend time with? Only Rich Copper because he rides MacLaren and is never drunk? You because you have loving wife and fit dogs? I know I don´t get it and I am not there yet, so how is it about good friends = successful people and bad friends = poor people / ¨losers¨? What´s that list of things every bad friend does? Should I ditch everybody who wears sunglasses in winter in flat, because I can´t see their eye expressions? Where is that line/difference between being pedantic moron and having reasonable boundaries. By the way having reasonable boundaries even in general and not being pedantic moron is my issue everywhere not only with friends, so if anybody has some suggestions towards this, you will definitely make me happier. If I want to have a successful person as friend, I think I shouldn´t simply bring him problems and that he is ¨successful¨ is just a fortune. Do I think about it correctly? Thank you for your time