Patreon, R&P Q&A #211: Week 12
Added 2023-03-28 23:40:37 +0000 UTCPatreon, R&P Q&A #211: Week 12
https://youtube.com/live/tqAntsCh9-k?feature=share
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Comments
I have read WISNiFG. are there any online classes where we can practice these techniques I would rather do it with practice rather then jump unpracticed in my personal life.
superjim
2023-04-03 22:08:28 +0000 UTCI’m constantly being told I’m being dismissive by my wife. We’ll be talking then she’ll share how she’s feeling about X or Y or give me a shit test. I’ll respond with: “yeah that’d frustrate me too.” or “I can totally see how you’d feel that way. I’d probably feel that way too if __________ happened.” To which she’ll ultimately say: “stop being so dismissive.” or “that really hurt my feelings when you said that. That makes me not want to share things with you.” Then I’ll respond with: “I can see how you’d feel that way, but it wasn’t my intention to make you feel bad.” or “yeah, I can see how that would make you upset. I'd probably be upset too if you responded to me that way. I’ll keep that in mind going forward.” No matter what I say it’s never good enough of an answer or response. She’s always waiting to hear me say “I’m sorry” and says that’s the only way she feels I’m being genuine and sincere. Just today she told me: “when I say you hurt my feelings, you really did hurt my feelings. I want you to say ‘I’m sorry for hurting your feelings’ instead of telling me that you didn’t intend to hurt them.” This behavior just seems childish to me. Also seems like a power play in that she views her status as higher than me and wants me seeking her approval through an apology. Q1: any suggestions on how to respond assertively without coming across as dismissive? Q2: when my wife has “hurt feelings” any suggestions on how I can respond without further going into her frame by saying “I’m sorry I made you feel that way?” Q:3 am I being an emotionless sperg by not wanting to throw around apologies and saying “I’m sorry” all the time? Seems like I’m always “hurting” her feelings. Wife has also told me she wants to feel emotionally connected when we have sex. When I ask what emotionally connected looks like, Apparently this means me not being dismissive. I asked why she thinks she has to feel emotionally connected and she couldn’t give me an answer. Told her it’s nice when it happens, but we can still have fun and enjoy sex without having to be emotionally aligned. Q:4 any thoughts on how to break this limiting belief she has? Or is this a shit test I'm too blind to see?
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2023-03-30 21:33:52 +0000 UTC
