Patreon, R&P Q&A #223

I posted my Batman origins story 18 months ago. I haven't posted since, enough said. Summary: 31, 5'10, 211lbs, virgin, c. $45k a year in my country as a qualified accountant. It's taken me a long time mentally to get to this point. About a year ago I hit a very low point (crying in front of my boss at a work social, thankfully I don't remember anything else about it and he doesn't remind me, in fact he's been one of my biggest helps this year) and I have been gradually working to change my mentality and approach from then. I have a tendency to mentally masturbate about the end goal and desires and not put the effort in. So now, I'm focusing on the process and improving my inputs with the view that the outputs and opportunities will arise from getting my work right. Problem #1 - I don't like how I look Action: Well I'm overweight and have no muscle tone, so in the past month I have started working out between 2-4 times a week. I have also started tracking calories daily (apart from my vacation where I slipped off, but I'm back at it the past 2 weeks). Status: Enjoying working through the lighter weights incrementally. I'm now squatting 80 lbs after starting with just the bar. I am down from 227 lbs at my worst weight this year to 211 lbs. Process goals: Work out 3-4 times a week incrementally increasing weights. Continue to restrict calories to between 1,500-1,700 for a steady and sustainable level of restriction. Tracking macros so I hit my protein intake of c. 150g and keep my carb and sugar intake lower (below 30g on a normal day, excluding green vegetables i.e. broccoli). Track daily weight loss with the aim of 1-2 lbs per week coming off. Obstacles: I've been overweight since my mid-teens so my goals would be the first time I've successfully executed this, so the obvious pitfall is falling back into my old ways. Aiming to use what I've learned from the Red Pill, focusing on what I want and my current peace with the work I need to do to get that (and actually currently enjoying it) to mitigate against this. Long term goal: 12-15% body fat range (I dream of seeing my abs for the first time in my life), target is 175 lbs on the scale and work from there if I need to adapt the target. Develop muscle mass through working out on schedule. Problem #2 - I've never got laid Action: Execute the process goals in step #1, read the copy of The Game and Mistry Method I've got but haven't opened for guidance, continue to increase socialising and grow my network outside of work. I've started playing soccer once a week and attending more events and social gatherings so to keep working on this. Process goals: Step #1 from above to build confidence, talk to more girls and be more direct in expressing interest. Keep networking so I meet new people, go to new places and have more interesting stories to talk about. Long term goals: Get laid by the end of the year, get to a position where I'm dating several girls as I enjoy my independence and value flexibility above other considerations. I see girls as a perk of performance, the underlying motivation is I just want to have sex, to put it bluntly. Obstacles: I have always had horrible nice guy tendencies and of all the material, how to usefully incorporate sexual strategies is the hardest content for me to wrap my head around given my lack of experience. My current view is that by making significant process on step #1, my frame of reference and opportunities will change and this will begin to sink in as the world reacts around me to my endeavour and progress. Problem #3 - I don't get paid enough for the lifestyle I want and don't save well enough Action: I have been working hard at work and recently been promoted. In addition, not only have I been promoted but I've already been given opportunities which are tasks performed at the level above my promoted level (I've been promoted from supervisor to assistant manager but I am already being given opportunities to do manager work). I am getting about a $5k pay rise (equivalent in my country) and this week I was selected to be 1 of 2 national "super users" of a new piece of software we are implementing (I'm a qualified accountant). Thus, I will have opportunities to lead on this project and expand my network to a lot more senior people. In addition, external job opportunities are fairly abundant and lucrative for my qualifications. Nonetheless, money has always been tight as I don't budget well, however I have set up a budget spreadsheet which I will use to track my finances monthly and start setting money aside, as I would like my own place, the opportunity to travel more frequently and have the disposable income to do more interesting things with my life (attend more events, travel, visit old friends that have dispersed etc.) Process goals: Keep pushing forward at work towards manager level, continue to review and test the waters with external opportunities, track my spending and budgeting with my new spreadsheet. Long term goals: I dream of my own place, 7 figures in wealth so I can travel more freely and luxuriously. I have tasted a modicum of this through my own father's business success so whilst I want to forge my own path, I do know the sorts of things I enjoy. Obstacles: Tend to be profligate with money, work rate and motivation tends to fluctuate. Aim is to use the process goals to mitigate these, any observations on weaknesses in my process goals would be appreciated. I've come back to have a place to note my thoughts down, express what I want (verbally) and be able to track my progression weekly. I've had success with promotion recently, and winning a soccer tournament with my colleagues and completing a 10k for the first time in a year. Both of these happened last weekend and I've really enjoyed the sense of achievement and confidence from performing and delivering on hopes and ambitions I didn't used to believe were possible. I'm enjoying my incremental progress and I know that I have to keep performing and delivering to maintain it. For Reference: I've read No more Mr Nice Guy 3 times, When I say no I feel guilty twice, Fuccfiles twice, Praxeology Volume 1 twice, The Unplugged alpha and Rational Male: Preventive Medicine once.

Working out / Lifting (Height 5f 11, weight 90kg) o Bench – 70/80kg o Legs Use to - Deadlift- 160-200KG / Squat – 60-70kg. - Focusing on upper body work out, very light boxing, knee rehab and mobility work - Work is going alright - Sex x3 times this week to date. -------- Reading NMMNG for the 3rd time physically and these are the reasons why I said to myself I need to reread the book. The goal is to make it stick and internalise this mental model as my normal way of thinking. -------- I just can’t seem to do enough of STFU. But NMMNG mentioned that once should express their feeling and Rian stone said don’t be conflict avoidant. Last night I walked in from work and my girlfriend didn’t give me a kiss, this has never happened before, in hindsight I did notice this. I should have grabbed her and asked if she was okay or said, “hey where is my kiss”. She was in the (bad) mood. But I didn’t say anything, and I just let this get to me. I don’t know why I get in the mood when she gets in the mood. This is the one thing that I can say I’m still in her frame, Looking back from NMMNG I think I still have this life script that things should always go smoothly. Yesterday I realised that when a pattern is broken, I lose my cool, I get worried, and I get all in my head and start overthinking. I have recognised that I loose frame when things don’t go right or smoothly this is the pattern. Talking about pattern, my LTR and I argue about the same shit all the fucking time. I can say this is mainly caused my me. One thing that I consistently say is why do you keep cutting me off, you don’t understand me and I never address her what she said. This has been the way we argue to the past 6 years. We have both come to the conclusion that we need help with this. She has suggested couples counselling for 2 years and I have rejected the idea since knowing MRP, but I caveed in and suggested we invite a couple from church to our house next week Sunday for a chat/couple advice. I know STFU and WISNIFG tools are what I need to so solve these issues, but I seriously find it hard to internalise it/ know when to use the tools. I always use agree and amplify during arguments and I know this isn’t always right. -------- Secondly, on a different matter today I came to a realisation of where my overthinking comes from. Growing up my step-dad use to come home upset, happy, excited or angry most of the times. He was/is an alcoholic. No-one in the house would know what mood he will be in. This unpredictability made my mum, brother and myself anxious. Each time he was drunk or angry my mother would try to fix the situation, or would just pretend that he wasn’t drunk or angry. This went on for years, things have gotten a little bit better. I can confidently say that this is were my conflict avoidant behaviour, life sucking energy, overthinking and anxiety came from. At the age of 30 now I’m trying to undo it. I know a book that I really need to read properly is “Adult Children of Alcoholics”. I have read it before once, it was like reading NMMNG for the first time. Rian now I can see why you said I was an emotionally stunted kid and I should read narcissism by last psychiatrist 7/8 months later from field report 1. Things are sinking in, but why is it so slow and how can I make these concept faster to internalise.

Cocky_funny