#263
Added 2024-03-20 16:19:47 +0000 UTC
Comments
Just digged a bit with different keywords, and here we go. Pretty close, Rian just skipped some TRP lingo for new commers.
xen
2024-04-03 19:36:07 +0000 UTChttps://archive.is/nB2kO
xen
2024-04-03 19:34:43 +0000 UTCAhh I see. Well if you get it, I'd like it too.
Diego Verga
2024-04-03 19:24:16 +0000 UTCThank you! I F-ed up the question some how. My bad, I wasnt clear. Edited the comment. I know the video, but I remember Rian mentioned in one of the Red Mornings that the video is based on Archwingers post. So the post is what I am looking for.
xen
2024-04-03 04:06:19 +0000 UTCYou could have looked it up on YT by that name, but here's the link anyway: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLY2qoDOXkw&list=PL_pGY_fhBCYS74OII7sxpWMlUPKJPXmE5&index=1&pp=gAQBiAQB
Diego Verga
2024-04-03 00:25:07 +0000 UTCHey! Can anyone send me the Archwingers post that "6 things to more important than women" was based on??? Setting some map goals by 6 things, wondered if another perspective might help as well.
xen
2024-03-26 16:32:45 +0000 UTCFR#2 Date last week with the new chick went very well, went for dinner and wall climbing after. Effortless banter, flirting and teasing the whole night. She was videoing me while wall climbing, and said she was doing an 18x zoom on my crotch. I responded that there’s no way she will get it all in the frame that way and needed to do it justice with the wide angle. She was at the top of a climb, and said there was a really big echo up there. Without even thinking I told her that she probably had her legs too far apart. She gave me the finger and some mock outrage but I could see in her eyes that she loved it. Made out a bit after, but nothing further. Logistics didn’t work, which we knew ahead of time because of other commitments, and had accepted so we could get the date in sooner. A few days later I told the married girlfriend I wanted to put things on hold sexually, but I still wanted to be friends. For me, it wasn’t working anymore and I probably should have done it a while ago. Not a bad chick, but she gained weight and wasn’t doing anything about it. I was losing interest in her beyond interesting conversations, and caring about her as a person. I may be getting in my own head too much, but I was struck with the thought that I couldn’t tell if I was holding off on telling her I was done because it was the smart move, or if it was because I was afraid of losing both of them if the other one fell through. In the end I decided that there was only one way to be sure. Based on how I felt telling her and that I almost chickened out, I think I was right and I had been operating out of fear. I am glad I ended it though, as I needed to prove it to myself, that I could do what I wanted without caving to the fear of loss and of hurting someone's feelings. Early this week I was reminded I still need to do more work on the emotional pillar, clearly my weakest link by far. Looking back on my life, my physical was always well above average, and the intellectual side was mediocre at worst. You can be as hot as you want but if you don’t have control of your emotions you will always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I have way too many examples to look back on. I realized I had fucked up with the new chick by being too available in the time since the date, answering her video call requests and messages too frequently and too quickly. I felt I was dangerously close to oneitis and putting myself into the friend zone, which I have done way too many times in my younger years. Aside from my needing work on my emotional pillar, she is one of maybe four or five people, man or woman I’ve met that I have had that effortless, almost unconscious back and forth with. Not that it makes it right for me to reward her with unattractive behaviour, just makes makes it a bit more of challenging to resist as I have a blast talking to her. I did manage to put her off a bit here and there, either by saying I was busy or actually being busy with projects. It appears to have worked as she sent me a few nudes over the next few days, and then made a play date with our kids. That went well, as they occupied each other and we managed to sneak away for some fun. I mustn’t have fucked up too badly as I am going to her place tomorrow for our mutually kid free weekend with the plan to spend most of it fucking. Through my regular morning meditation, I have been able to become more aware of when the fight or flight response was taking hold, where I would normally default to DEERing and validation seeking. I even managed to catch myself a couple of times and go through the OODA loop, disrupting it altogether. New chick was complaining about her ex texting her a few hours earlier, and my thoughts immediately went to her still not being over him. I stopped, and thought about what she was saying and realized it was my anxiety and a bit of developing oneitis. Reminded myself that it didn’t really matter if she was or not, and that I had several chicks I could sleep with before the end of the day if I wanted to give them a call. I laughed, teased her about something and changed the subject, and she began throwing a few innuendos at me. Haven’t had much opportunity to use verbal assertive techniques with women, and the one time I know of I had been caught off guard and Deer’ed before I realized what I should have done. Managed to practise fogging and negative assertion with my kid when he complained about the screen time locks and having to clean his room. Not ideal but it was what presented itself. Weight is down to 193, and I see more definition in my legs, which typically is the last to appear on me. I scheduled another DEXA scan for next week, to set up the next month or two of diet and exercise planning. Kept up daily 30 minutes of fasted cardio. Got in 3 weight workouts this week. Squatted 405 for a couple sets of 6 before hips tightened up, and on next leg workout dl’d 505 for 1, 455 for a set of six, and 405 for 12. Weights have been reduced a bit on upper body with controlled negatives, while I try to recover from a slight rotator cuff strain. Physical is pretty well on point, and there isn’t a whole lot I can do to improve much. Sold about $9,000 of stocks, maxed out my kids RESP, and put the rest towards paying off one credit card. Went a little over my $250/week grocery budget last week due to some Costco staples that will last the next 4-6 months. I’ve reduced this weeks’ spending by the equivalent amount. I haven’t made any real progress yet on the writing for a 2nd career, choosing to re-read NMMNG and WISNIFG and better internalize them.
Philanthpenist
2024-03-22 02:45:03 +0000 UTCEdited
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 21:14:31 +0000 UTCif changing name for security reasons shouldn't tells us the old name.
Op Sec
2024-03-21 18:06:06 +0000 UTCFR: * I'm trying to figure out how to spin plates while staying on top of my sleep, gym and work. It's my biggest blocker to building Frame * My problem with time management and spinning plates; everytime I hangout with one of my plates, I end up spending 4-5 hours, staying up for them, and sacrificing my sleep. Last Saturday I had plate1 over, we saw a movie (aside: recommend this dumb Bollywood movie "Animal" just because it's hilarious how they're influenced by RedPill and Andrew Tate), smashed after the movie, she stayed over that night, we smashed some more in the morning. She tagged along with me to a coffee shop and we worked on our laptops in the coffee shop until Sunday afternoon. I basically spent a day with her. * Also plate1 has been getting vocal about "catching feelings" for me but she hasn't asked for exclusivity as she knows I'm not interested. She said her taking a break is just to try to put some distance between us. I'm going to have my dad stay over at my place from May till October so told her we can fool around till end of April and then we can take a break for 5-6 months. I'm expecting after my dad leaves by October I'll have to source new plates from scratch.
Ban Mido
2024-03-21 17:48:15 +0000 UTCLazy, careless, avoiding responsibilities, don't have long term goals or don't know how to decide on one. Like a teenager. But I'm older now and should know or have an idea what life looks like. When I was younger, people who were 28 then seemed like they had their lives sorted. They knew what job they wanna have or atleast a reason for the same. Had their investments and health care sorted. Redponded like adult men. I just don't care about any of those things. But I should be by now. Does not even cross my mind. I, on the other hand just keep giving into my addictions most of the time. Porn, nicotine, pot, memes. I don't have a "that's enough" button. Same with red pill content. One video after another. Good ones only. Most rule zero guys. But no action. I've decided to not watch anymore of these videos except for this one where weekly I can come check how I'm doing if seen from another perspective. I mostly deal with the media and marketing people, they're overall general western or atleast wanna be western. Western is thought of very godly here. So I think it'll be of some use. But thanks for the heads up I'll keep that in mind while I take inputs.
Duke of the Dunes
2024-03-21 17:04:45 +0000 UTCThere's a few different mental models. There's the 1000ft tow rope. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/194huh1/how_to_fix_sex_in_your_marriage/ I didn't acknowledge her good behavior because it was good behavior, that's validation seeking. (i.e. you validated me by cleaning the floors). I straight up like having clean floors, but not enough to mop them myself, the roomba can take care of that, but this is better. Let other's figure out how they can add to your life. There's only one thing you can't do for yourself and that thing is not that hard to come by.
Op Sec
2024-03-21 16:30:00 +0000 UTCDo you feel guilty about being a state of limbo? Do expect to have lazer focus all your life? It is ok to be ok. Own it. I have been learning about trarot. The opening card is the fool. It is titled that, not because he is dumb. It is because he is naive, a baby. It symbolizes the beginning of a new journey…. Adventure… The freedom of meandering with no goals or knowledge. Innocence. Point: it is a powerful card not weak. You are the one making it weak.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 15:56:09 +0000 UTCI will make an argument against protein powders. Sure it helps with muscle, mass…. I am hyper focused on health and everyone I listen to says the processed powders are no good. Talking about long term health.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 15:49:32 +0000 UTCCousin Eddie: I am using "weak frame" to mean unclear vision for what I want my life to look like going forward.
Ground Hog Day
2024-03-21 15:47:44 +0000 UTCWhat does a “weak frame “mean?
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 15:45:43 +0000 UTCAllot of speculation about what others motivations are. Assume you are wrong. Your “deeper thinking”. Is what needs deeper thinking. Garbage it. Focus on your life. Your reality. Regardless of others. Being a good dad is a fine thing to value. But on your timeline and your standards. Similar to kitchen and dishes chores. feedback such as good boy, good dad…. Is all validation. All of it is “ not valuable.”
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 15:42:58 +0000 UTCAnswers to Questions: - Height - 5'8" - Do I want a successful relationship?: Yes, but not necessarily with my wife. It would certainly be more convenient from a financial perspective, but that's about it. I am done "hoping". Hope is dead from my perspective, and I am living as if she is dead, and figuring out what my life looks like without her in it. Just thinking about being by myself and not having her around seems exciting to me. - Wife calibrating to keep me?: Wife is NOT calibrating to keep me, as far as I can tell... but my frame is weak, so not sure there is much to calibrate to.
Ground Hog Day
2024-03-21 15:34:39 +0000 UTCDeering: you have to determine if there is manipulation. It is normal for someone to ask what you are up to. Manipulation= keeping tabs on you, or judging, or covert contract…for example. If she asks you repeatedly or says. Why are you going to the gym. You go to gym all the time. Then a huff. Then say: I left out I have a porn shoot… The subtext is: Her: logistics question (maybe planning dinner) You: gym. Her: I don’t like your gym routine. You; fuck off
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 15:33:48 +0000 UTCYes getting a life would be a good start. Interest and friendship groups that do not revolve around your dating soap opera. Writing: read others. Learn what ooda is. Write aboit a specific situation and explain what is red pill. Then we will critique. When you say you act as if you are 16. What does that mean exactly. Also note that Indian culture will be a little different with marriage, social pressure… most are westerners here.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 15:26:09 +0000 UTCFitness and Appearance I stopped wearing my glasses all the time, instead, I wear them while reading or working on the computer/phone. I found a nice leather jacket at a vintage store and I've pieced together a style inspired by Tom Hardy - think aviator or leather jacket, black or blue jeans, short to medium beard, fade with short hair. In the past week about five people at work and social outings have told me I look great and asked if I've lost weight. I'm down 5-10 pounds from a few months ago, the change is in proportions. Less beer gut and bloated face, larger gains in chest, traps, and shoulders. Last week I started mixing whey protein shakes, getting enough protein was becoming a chore. Considering creatine. Next up is getting a new properly tailored suit to fit my shape- curious to hear thoughts on grey or black? Dating I'm setting my ego aside and have stopped being picky and overthinking. 3-4's come easy on Hinge. I use a script and put barely any thought into the messages yet they give me their number. Setting more dates for my next kid-free weekend. Covert contracts / being taken for granted I take care of all sports, fitness and extra curricular sign ups and planning for my kids. My ex mother in law contacted me telling me the kids are enjoying X sport and asked if I'm signing them up in sports again this season. I responded that yes I am. This opened up some deeper thinking - do they actually give a shit about me or do they only care about what I provide? The answer is obvious. Thinking back during the holidays, my ex in laws sent me a card that said "our xmas present is you being a great father." convert contract - If my family thinks I'm a good dad, I will be liked and loved by them and have a problem free life. Being called a "good dad" is not valuable to me anymore. I want my kids to develop healthy patterns with regular exercise so I sign them up for sports. My frame. I don't think my ex's side of the family ever gave a shit about me, what they cared about is that I kept their daughter and grandkids healthy and financially taken care of. -- setting myself on fire to keep others warm-- Had to learn the hard way. My goal is to stop giving away my value and getting nothing in return. "What's in it for me"
4thMostImportant
2024-03-21 15:08:22 +0000 UTCYep, I'll definitely be cautious. It's just been a week. What was the deal with the Japanese girl? What should I watch out for?
Hypergamous Best Option
2024-03-21 14:24:49 +0000 UTCNot much happening this week. Despite living in the same house, pretty much living separate lives from wife. Little chit-chat. Few conversations. I go to bed early and get up early. She goes to bed late and gets up late. This week’s focus was same as last week (1) Health & Fitness and (2) Red Pill Relationship Skills (1) Health & Fitness: Goals: • Weight: Target – 170 lbs, Starting – 227 lbs, Current - 203 lbs, Weekly status – lost 1 lb • Body Fat %: Target – 15%, Starting – 35.5%, Current – 28.8%, Weekly status – lost .7 • Waist / Pants Size: Target – 30”, Starting – 40”, Current – 36”, Weekly status – same • Daily Step Target: Current 12,000 per day, Weekly status – hit target 7 out of 7 days • Weekly Workouts: Target – 4 or 5 Weight workouts / week, Weekly Status – exceeded target - 7 out of 7 days • Nutrition: Target – Meet Cal/Protein/Carb/Fat macros, Weekly status – met macros 5 out of 7 days (overrun on 2 days was made up for by underrun other days). • Fasting: Target – 8 hour feeding window daily w/occasional full day fasts, Weekly status – met fasting goal every day and had one 36-hour fast (2) Red Pill Relationship Skills: Focused on Manuel Smith and NMMNG Skills: NMMNG Goals – Robert Glover: • Stop Covert Contracts - Status: Successful. I don’t think I had any covert contracts this week. • Stop Deering - Status: Successful. I don’t think I DEERED this week. I did notice that I had an urge to DEER in 2 business situations, and stopped myself (it was the same old pattern – if I explain myself I will convince the other person, they will see the wisdom of my argument, and then life will be good). On one occasion, wife attempted to revisit the situation from a couple weeks back where I turned off the iphone location tracking settings which I handled well: Wife: Won’t you turn your location back on? Me: No Wife: Why Me: I don’t want to Wife: Frowns Me: ....walk away I have a question about DEERING. Sometime my wife asks me questions - which seem like innocent requests for information, and I usually answer them – something like this: Me: …walking out the door Wife: Where are you going? Me: To the gym….and walk out Seems innocent enough, but I am sensing there is subtext about her being concerned about my whereabouts, because location settings are turned off. I was thinking about using something cocky / funny like “Heading out to my porn shoot, don’t worry, will save some for you later.”…but seems like overkill for a simple ask for information on her part. WISNIFG Goals – Manuel Smith: • Continue using Fogging • Continue using Broken Record • Attempt negative inquiry Didn’t have opportunities this week. Game Goals – thinking quicker on my feet: • Improv Class – going well. This week I was really on, had a lot of fun, and was hilarious. I feel like it is improving my confidence and loosening me up / helping me be less serious. One thing I am learning is to “not think” and just react to whatever is happening…so just automatically respond without mentally filtering through possible actions first. • I am investigating dance classes – which will get me out another night per week. Anger – still mad as hell and using that anger to fuel my workouts and other activities, although I had one fun non-angry day which followed the improv class. I feel like I hate my wife “a lot” - not just “a little bit” as you recommend. Sex – I did not even try to initiate. Feeling disgusted with her. Learning – listened to a number of old Patreon field reports. Read book by Joe Navarro – What Every Body is Saying (Body language book). That's all for now.
Ground Hog Day
2024-03-21 14:20:56 +0000 UTCFirst report/video #263 Got aware of the redpill 2 years ago after getting dumped by my 4 and a half years college LTR. Used to cheat on this ex, blue pill cheating. She never knew I cheated. Then after getting dumped got in another LTR with one of the woman I was cheating on her with. This new woman is also my boss at work and we run a small ad film Production house on the side. She was married when I met her now she got divorced last year or so. Sex has never been the problem with her we fucked almost everyday for the last 1 and half year, but rest I don't know. I'm in her frame. She wants to give me the lead. But then starts getting cranky and disrespectful. I want to work on this. My problem is I don't think or live like an adult. I'm 28 right now but I still think like I used to when I was 16-17. I'm a filmmaker in New Delhi, India, so I have lots of dreamy and liberal people around constantly. I also was or mentally still am, one of them. Emotional, day dreaming, laid back, narcissistic. How do I fix things here? I, after getting redpilled just latched on this relationship to protect my ego. Recently over fights or treatment I mentioned ending this relationship. But then I am not outcome independent. Which I think she can also see. Recently after staying away for a while after one of my temper tantrums. I noticed at work that she's hiding her whatsapp and went to the washroom to delete chats. I lost it. Started having panic attacks. I confronted her next day, she said some guy had been messaging her and she don't know why she reacted that way. I said never hide shit from me. And we went about the night. Next day I was kinda cranky the whole day to which she reacted pissed. I said I'm still pissed and she has to earn her trust back can't demand shit. Then later that night we had sex. We fucked last night also. But I have anxiety now regularly, after that event. Also I don't completely trust my girl now. But whether to keep her around or not is a decision I can only make when I'm out of her frame and I'm independent as a man. I don't want to care about all this. I won't know ever whether she is or was involved or not. But can't really judge her while I'm very messed in the head. When I ended things then why am I effected? It was a bluff I wasn't ready to back. My goal is to fix if not all, then most of my faults. And add more and real value to myself. And hopefully get myself to the point where I don't need the surroundings dictating how things are gonna go ahead. Two years after the first breakup post my panic attack and rage episode I've realised I'm not red pill, it's all covert contract. And need to work on myself. I've started listening to No more Mr. Nice guy this week. I'm planning to read again the physical copy while working on the concepts mentioned. I have this syndrome and a lot to register everyday in my behaviour and attempt control it consciously. Will be joining the gym this weekend. I have gotten skinny. Need the muscles back. I don't have any friends so I'm thinking to look for starting a social hobby where I can excel and make friends as well. That's all I can think of right now. Can anyone suggest how can I better track my thoughts through the week for writing? Will try to share something more structured each timetime I post.
Duke of the Dunes
2024-03-21 14:04:02 +0000 UTC—“Haven’t decided yet how I will proceed?” —. The same way you would proceed with any other girl. You are in her frame. You avoided she in your list. But Notice you can add she at the begging of every statement and it would be the same statement. Yes, this is a giant list of she statements. Getting laid is great. Being used is not so great.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 13:11:21 +0000 UTCAfter reading strippers comment: I want to hone in on “the difficult work”. When I read reports like this I get: “I am dating an awsome chick, but is she good enough for me?” It is the way super hot chicks, and natural born chads think. (Skewed towards narcissism) Watching my friends in this category I have noticed they have been on a rotating dating cycle for years, decades. Dating is their life. They don’t have the ability to bond.. ltr. The work is shifting the Overton window towards codependent (from narcissis). Note: I am not saying to be codependent. Be less narcissistic. The work is also having a life that is deeper than the playboy dopamine Carousel. (If that is what you want). For example: when you say you took pride in being able to party like a rockstar. I would ask why? This is not a moralizing question… no judgments here. Of all the things to do in life. Why is that what you put in the field report?
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 12:58:28 +0000 UTCGreetings from the Philippines. Turns out cold approach is ridiculously easy here. Girls are very approachable, your SMV as a Western guy gets a boost and English levels are hands down some of the best in all of Asia, except perhaps Singapore and Hong Kong. Have been with 5 girls in 10 days. Nothing spectacular to report other than 2 girls on the same day is exhausting, do not recommend. Since then, I have picked one of the five girls as as a holiday fling. Interestingly, she is not the prettiest or youngest of the bunch, but the one who campaigned the hardest for me. She has also shown me the most green flags out of any girls I have met so far, including: - Very good relationship with her father. She cared for him for half a year as a makeshift nurse when he was dying of cancer. Still has a very bubbly personality and says being sad doesn’t bring her father back to life, and he would have wanted her to be happy. - putting her two younger brothers through school on her income. Forgoing her own dream to become a doctor to make this happen. (She’s an accountant now, Clarey would love her). - Still debt free and budgets everything - no social media and takes Saturday/Sunday to digitally detox (no cell phone) - Shows an active interest in my side hustle, provides feedback on projects without me asking her to, encourages me to keep going, and cheerleads for me - cooks for me - cleans for me - Showers me with physical affection and massages - organised a trip to the local shooting range and shot a couple of rounds herself even though she was scared - Lets me lead no questions asked - Asked me how she can make me happy (first woman to ever ask me that) - Actively shows insight on her two previous relationships. First relationship from 16-21: she says she was too jealous and nagged too much in that relationship. So she changed that for her next 2-year relationship and let that guy live his life. (They eventually broke up because he went back to the States and he didn’t want to do long distance). Even if that’s just what she says and she still nagged in the second LTR as well, the mere fact that she is capable of self-criticism and takes responsibility is exceedingly rare. - Apparently just had those two previous partners. Even if you add a couple of dicks she forgot to mention, that’s still relatively benign for 24. - Does not like to party. Avid reader. Likes to cook for all her friends at home. - Refused to go become the president of the student council in college even though others pushed her (she’s very eloquent and well organised) because she didn’t want to become a boss bitch. (Not her choice of words, but that’s the gist of it). Refused to pursue a career in law for the same reason, even though her dad suggested it. - Wants a small house on the country side where she can grow herbs for cooking in the backyard. - I have two matching baseball caps. She wore the other one religiously everywhere we went so we would look like a team, and asked for it as a gift when I left. - Super invested and texts me all the time - not in an annoying way, but to see how she can help me. Red Flags: - None so far, other than she likes Taylor Swift and prefers cats over dogs. But hey, nobody’s perfect. Totally aware she sees me as a ticket to the West and is currently on her best behaviour. It’s borderline as the female condition, although she strikes me as psychologically very stable for a woman. I’m on a different island now to see whether this level of girl game is normal in the Philippines. I need to come back to Manila for my flight home anyway, then I’ll see her again. Haven’t decided yet how I’ll proceed. Regardless, it’s nice to see that girls like this are out there. Notes for fellow travellers in the Philippines: Online dating: - Tinder works well, remember to ask the two important questions: is she tr*ns? Is she an esc*rt? Otherwise, you might be in for a few surprises. - Bumble: fewer users, more European girls, still worth it. - Hinge: no users, don’t bother. Cold Approach: - Some girls will think you mistake them for an esc*rt. Some are also really shy. Easy on the negging, provide a lot of comfort. - Be socially savvy and make sure she doesn’t lose face in front of her friends/relatives/coworkers. Easy on kino in public.
Hypergamous Best Option
2024-03-21 12:23:43 +0000 UTCYour boxing will be the next domino to fall as you get older. Might want to think of a new sport to Segway to over the next 5 years. Summary: -health decline so you have to reorient dating. - made money. -told bad women to get lost - put yourself in a talent rich environment and found a new woman that you are starting a honeymoon phase with but you have hesitations. She is employable and introverted which is different than the porn star types you normally go for. - lost weight It seems you don’t have a problem with attraction. What is your goal with relationships? Are you looking for a ltr? Is that a problem for you?
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 11:50:22 +0000 UTCRound 7 Been a while since I've done one of these (I think like 3 months). Anyway, after the little party situation from last time, I wound up briefly getting back with Tennessee girl. As my annual event was approaching however, she started to kind of do the same shit that Canadian girl was doing (although not to the same degree, but I could see the writing on the wall), so I cut it off. No contact with her since. I'm not reviving that situation again no matter what. She's blocked on everything now, my attorneys sent her our standard reminder letter about her NDA, etc. That one is over with permanently. Got through the event very smoothly. No drama with anybody, City Hall was cool, media was happy, attendees had fun, the event made money, everybody got paid, I basically didn't do shit, easy stuff all around. Shortly after that, I crossed the shit bridge into the second half of my 40s. I am now unfortunately 45 years old. To celebrate, I did the same thing I was doing basically every weekend of 2023 and that I've been pretty much doing on my birthday every year, but this year I fucking paid for it HARD. I swear, I was hungover for at least like 4 days and it took a good week to 10 days to even get my brain back at all. I was having trouble concentrating, couldn't sleep, stomach trouble, all of it. I think the moral of the story is here, despite the fact that it took me nearly 50 years to get here, I am now at a point where I am too old to party with the kids anymore. This has been kind of a hard pill to swallow, cuz it's something I've always sort of taken pride in being able to do. It also is going to make my pickup opportunities much more complicated. I'm not sure if it's all age or just how much I've been boxing lately or what, but my brain did not react favorably to that degree of substances hitting me all at once like that. It's clear that game is over completely. As a result of this, I've been kind of in a funk lately and this gay dude that works for one of the liquor vendors that we had for the event kind of noticed this a little bit and invited me to a fashion show. I was like fuck it, why not?. So, we went and it was fun. It turns out he's pretty connected in that world and he introduced me to a ton of people, including this new girl that I've been hanging out with quite a bit lately. This was a high fashion, runway type of situation and this girl is a model kind of towards the end of her career doing that kind of thing. She's 32 and definitely not my normal type. Normally I tend to go for little stripper/swimwear types who have really bubbly and outgoing personalities. This girl's really tall and thin and is very introverted and nerdy with a very watery, chill and go with the flow fluid type personality. She's also crazy fucking smart (she does some kind of statistical math shit for the semiconductor industry - modeling is not her only job and strangely enough, I think she might actually make more money than I do). I've got kind of a big, aggressive and loud personality and she's very much the opposite, but so far it seems to be working okay. She also doesn't seem to be particularly affected by my life and what I do in any direction either. Her ex-husband (she's divorced, but no kids, sort of like me) was a Porsche mechanic, so I don't really have to worry about her around my cars and my motorcycles and she seems to be okay with my animals and stuff too. We mostly just kind of hang out at my house, in my gardens and with my animals and stuff and don't do shit. It's actually been kind of nice. Sex is weird. I haven't slept with her that many times yet, but it's not really the porno shit that I'm kind of used to with these other girls for the most part. I don't know if she'll maybe open up or what, and although I'm not really super worried about it yet, I am a little bit concerned about getting bored as I feel like I do have to be really careful with her kind of both physically and emotionally for some reason. I can't just fucking blast away at her and then toss her a rag and leave the room or whatever. She doesn't seem like she's really wired that way. It may be that she's a little bit older than most of the girls I've been fooling around with lately and I just need my expectations realigned a little bit. Not sure. I think the main thing, as I need to be aware that oneitis definitely does remain a problem for me and I need to be a little bit careful with this one in that regard as well. Again, although I'm definitely enjoying our differences right now, I don't want to put myself in a position where I'm convincing myself to like this girl just cuz she's there. I definitely need to be careful here. Other than that, as mentioned above, I'm boxing like crazy. I decided to lose about 15 lbs (I'm down around 215 now) and I'm really enjoying that. I'm feeling very healthy and light and fast, and I definitely haven't lost any power so that's been nice too. I am noticing that I don't take punches quite the same way and that could be a problem moving forward. We'll just have to wait and see. That's all I got this week
McChickenshit
2024-03-21 10:19:55 +0000 UTCSummary:I did my thing and wife was on good behavior and so I acknowledge it. Later She continued her good behavior (sex.). Sounds like honey moon phase reincarnated. Well done. Is their Any insight on this? Is this from consistency on your part. A month or so ago your fn sounded bleak (with regard to relationship.). … she was not buying in.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 03:52:23 +0000 UTCI listened to a podcast with glover. He referred to a religious quote: “love others as you love yourself”. He said this means you can not love others if you don’t love yourself. Complete acceptance of yourself is needed to completely accept others.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 02:31:04 +0000 UTC——“Kind of an uneventful week getting house project's done and getting logistics in place for upcoming family spring break trip.”——. This is validation seeking in your writing. Akin to: “want to let everybody know I am doing work and reporting. I am a hard worker…but nothing to report this week.”
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 02:21:17 +0000 UTCYour writing is constantly self doubting itself. Overthinking. What if…. The sky will fall if… An exercise: Re write your fn as if these girls are lucky to have you. Be cocky, narcissistic. When you say you were cocky funny and did keno but there was a lack of tension. I don’t think you were cocky or did keno with the correct intent. Writing matters. It is the way you think. So write your field notes with as much intent as you try and seduce. Meaning, write in a confident way.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 02:04:23 +0000 UTCShe said something snarky at work. Either you were being informal with her and she reciprocated. Or she was out of place. When people talk about high value… being, or responding in a high value way…. I get king of the bettas vibe. Rich cooper channel. You need to own your frame whatever that is. Work on all the tid bits but be ok being ok. It is an attractive quality.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 01:52:19 +0000 UTCI was in my office taking a nap while my wife mopped the floors, and then she proceeded to mop most of the rest of the home. She was happy to do it, I thanked her, told her she did a good job and then later that day had sex with her. I’ve been making more thoughtful decisions with my style. Your physical appearance is a form of communication. It’s also an expression of who you are, but also reflexively can help define who you are. The Rakish archetype is one I’m most congruent with, mixed with sophistication. I wore red suede shoes, but made the whole outfit work and so I got opened. Oh yeah, peacocking, that old thing. Got myself something better than an apple watch, went down a bit of a rabbit hole there.
Op Sec
2024-03-21 00:31:43 +0000 UTC51 breakdown of dinner table social game. Often, I am in a dinner situation having little to no history with anyone. First impressions are important so ooda loops that generate positive feedback are important. On a trip, at a breakfast, my wife and her cousin were clucking. (Clucking = female gossiping/ talking out problems-forming reality. It generally isolates the rest of the table an creates an in and out group.) At the table was my wife’s 19-year-old nephew on his phone. My kid and me were paired off so I became the de facto babysitter. The table was logical, isolating, and checked out. Overall it was an awkward vibe. Me: I glare at the cousin’s baseball cap (Team X) And whisper to my kid, a bit loudly: “we have to be tolerant. They are family.” (I put them in a box and now they are forced to get out. emotional state pumping.) Them: something about baseball. Me to the 19 year old: “now that you are in college in (my city). It’s your chance to jump ship. Be a (my team) fan… a respectable team.” 19 year old: "I am a lifelong (team x) fan… I saw this and that.” (Logic… not in the frame) Me to my kid, pointing at 19 year old: “see his tired disposition, look at his eye twitch. Are you learning?” (Put 19 year old back in the box) Wife: I don’t like sports…. (Trying to get logical. different frame) Me: “quiet wife! There is nothing like watching (Team X) fan's hearts snap like twigs as the (my team) smashes a walk off home run," as I high five my kid. 19 year old: "when has that ever happened?!" Cousin: ya??? (They are now in my frame.). Me: “1996 sir! O ya, you were not born yet. lol!” (Pushing the absurdity that there was one year my team was good) To my kid: “we only root for proper baseball colors in this family: poo brown and piss yellow.” (Emotional spike: push pull: obvious our colors suck, our team sucks. But we still brag) Rp point: Logical conversation is very different than pumping state. Many dinning situations need more emotion and less logic. Ooda loops that use misinterpretation , amplifying, a visual story, putting people in a box, nick names, push pull, improv… all work to pump state.
Cousin Eddie
2024-03-21 00:12:29 +0000 UTCBFE No. 3 Instruction: Write down or illustrate the messages your received in your family that seemed to imply that it wasn't OK for you to be who you were ... Naming these childhood experiences will allow you to replace these messages with more accurate ones and help you change your Nice Guy script. It's clear doing this exercise that I'm still very angry at my folks. I'm making an effort not to focus on the reasons why right now. I don't think it's helpful. I have to make the best of what I was given because: - they have their own abandonment experiences that affected their parenting strategies - they had their own life scripts that are not helpful to them as adults - they are not perfect and are only working with what they got - they were altogether not abusive or negligent parents (could be worse) I want to focus on the last part of the prompt. > replacing these messages with more accurate ones and help you change your Nice Guy script I've written my attempt below. It's not the best right now, and this is where I might need help. Message 1: Emotional and physical affection from the people you love is optional at best, and a cheap disingenuous performance at worst. I can't think of any way to reframe this or if I should, or if it's even within the scope of the Red Pill. I know this is true in some way, but at the same time, I feel like there's something missing. For context, neither parent was good at affection (no "I love yous" and hugs were very rare). I never even thought to asked for it. But I notice that I feel good when I get affection, and that I definitely want affection from people. And I notice other people want affection from me too, but I'm not particularly good or comfortable at initiating it. It's awkward. Message 2: Being free, independent, and learning things the hard way on my own is something to be avoided and feared Replacement 2: It's important that you become an independent adult. Your parents will miss it when you are no longer with them like when you were a child, but it's a necessary part of life. As you take more stock of your life, you are inevitably going to make decisions that have a lot more risk whether they like it or not. However, if you don't have to learn things the hard way, then do things knowing what the risks are ahead of time. Message 3: Pleasure should be avoided at all costs. Pursuing sex is at worst a horrible disgusting thing, and at best a necessary evil. Buying expensive things is the devil. Alcohol at a bar is a shameful. Video games and computer games are not good for you. Buying anything that isn't a "need" means you are wasting money and you're bad with money and you are going to be broke. Replacement 3: Enjoying your life is not bad. Indulging when you know what the risks and consequences are and accept them is not bad. Be aware of risks that are permanent (getting someone pregnant, STDs, cirrhosis of the liver, racking up debt, being unemployable) and understand how to avoid them and you will be fine. Message 4: Women are born to be respected and feared. A woman's emotions mean that it's a bad day like the weather and there's nothing you could do about it. You cannot expect them to act right, you have to put up with their bullshit. Replacement 4: Women are different from men. Treat them like they are different from men. They are not better or worse than men. It doesn't mean that when they behave badly that you have to put up with it.
Dante Panda
2024-03-20 23:16:20 +0000 UTCField report #9 Weight at 198. Cardio 2 times a week and 3 days of lifting. Re thought my interactions last week with the perspective of my misapplication of what I thought was shit testing. I think I misread certain interactions as shit tests because she got more physical with me directly afterwards. An example was at the basketball game she made a sarcastic comment back and rolled her eyes after I told a joke to the group that they laughed at. Giving off a “you think you are hot shit” attitude. I ignored, detached to another part of our group after a few minutes. She comes up to me later and wraps her arms around me and the rest of the night was initiating physical contact like hugs and kissing. I didn’t think of it in the moment but reflecting back I was thinking this was a shit test. Using the language of a fitness test is helping me sort through bitchy behavior vs. a test of attraction. The advice of asking “why” and what was I trying to accomplish helped. My parents and sister visited for the weekend. Seeing how my mom interacts with my dad reinforces my nice guy and how I got here. Constantly shits on the man and treats him like a manchild who can’t do anything himself. Seeing him resigned to the fact and oddly content with their dynamic pissed me off at first but now it’s become more motivating to me to not end up like him. But man I see how his example fucked me up growing up. Kind of an uneventful week getting house project's done and getting logistics in place for upcoming family spring break trip. Caught myself before seeking validation in the form of recognition from my wife when it’s done. For example cleaning the garage or ordering supplies for our upcoming trip. I have not gone to her to brag about my work or say look at what I did. Just shutting up about it and enjoying the gratification of getting stuff done on my terms and timetable. This has been a form of validation I identified and continue to kill. I also looked inside to ask why I am doing the tasks. Is it really for my benefit or am I expecting something on the back end from her. Have to think about it less than before but it is not fully natural yet.
Amos_Durden
2024-03-20 22:31:13 +0000 UTCYou are making some obvious errors that you know and wrote about. It's not really more plates that you need, though it won't hurt, just more notches. You should hope that the staff says something. Can't get better social proof than that. Make sure you own it. When you are escalating you should be screening. Don't always expect something back, some girls are just more passive, push until she says no. Look for an excuse to end the interaction. This makes you naturally screening, which in addition to wasting less of your time, makes you more attractive as a bonus. It's a bonus though, not the purpose. Yeah, you are headed in the right direction.
Op Sec
2024-03-20 22:29:45 +0000 UTCYou are using the information wrong. You read anti dump and liked what you saw? Why? What did you like? Did you try something that worked? Or did it just make you feel good. Japanese girls are fun, (you got one notch). I bet you gave them all sorts of validation and you got very little in return. You're mindset is off, would recommend Bang (not day bang) by Roosh, which would be most applicable to you. Go out by yourself(your peer group sucks), approach and escalate.
Op Sec
2024-03-20 22:20:10 +0000 UTCI am over vacation girl, but sliding into the next oneitis. I have been very busy the last couple of weeks. After crying into my cereal for a week and calling my friends at 10 pm crying I hopped on the apps again and started seeing other chicks. I currently have two active plates. One girl I picked up back in February. She is chubby, but easy and eager. The second one I picked up two weeks ago and damn she is hot. And I guess that is the problem. We met in a bar and made out two weeks ago. Then last Thursday she came to my place and we had sex. She had plans the next day and therefore could not stay the night. Right then my fear of abandonment kicked in. I asked her if we would see each other again. She said yes, but asked me why I would ask that. I told her that I was wondering because she was leaving in such a rush. Then she hung out with me on the couch some more and then I drove her home. I am really trying to not repeat my mistakes with vacation girl, trying to play it cool, keeping my distance, only texting logistics, not meeting too often, just like once a week or so. But I already fucked that up, because she texted me on sunday and I went to her house and we went for a walk and then had sex. I mean you could see that as success, but seeing her too often also feels dangerous in regards to plate theory. I am starting to think about her way too much. I feel the oneitis setting in. I am way too happy that I picked up a girl equally as hot as vacation girl and now I guess I am scared that I will lose her again. Here is what I think I need to do: I need more plates. Two is not enough. I showed to myself that I can pull girls. But these were like 3s and 4s and now that I got a 6 again my anxiety is kicking in again. I need to feel secure in my ability to pull girls I am satisfied with. I think I actually want to be in a relationship but I don’t think that is a good idea before I got some more higher quality notches and feel comfortable in my ability there and also got it out of my system. So I need to source more girls. I think I have better logistics and better touch escalation now. There is a bar near my place which also is at the edge of a park. I went there with the new plate. We ate something, drank something and after that I moved from sitting across from her to sitting next to her. Touching her leg with my leg and putting my hand on her leg. She immediately started touching my arm. After a short while we made out. Then we went for a walk in the park. Then I offered to drive her home, so we walked to my place and I said I wanted to drink a sip of water, so we went up to my apartment and I showed her my apartment and made out some more. I am not sure if I could have slept with her that night, if I had pushed it more, but I think that at least set it up so she felt comfortable coming to my place the next time. But I am kinda paranoid, that the staff is going to say something, if I show up at the place multiple times a week, with different girls. So I try to tip extra good and be extra friendly. On the other hand, sometimes on dates there is just no tension. I try to be cocky funny, I try to escalate touch, but there is just nothing coming back. Well, you win some, you lose some. There is a lot of room to improve my game. Something I should be working on next. Something completely different: I started to notice when other people DEER and it makes me cringe. And I am just thinking “STFU, and just shrug it off my dude, please stop talking”. I hope that translates into noticing it more when I do it. I think I am on a good path, but it is something I still need to work on being aware of.
Am I red yet
2024-03-20 21:56:30 +0000 UTCWhy did you lie about being a pilot? Are you escalating physically and following the DiCarlo ladder? Generally speaking once you get the insta/number and call or text them is back to square one. That’s why it’s better to push on the same night instead of being satisfied with the N close. A girl called you a poopy face and you want to smash her head through the wall. You’re the fucking man. You don’t get to do what successful people do. Stop being proud of being an “international degenerate” you fat fuck. First get your shit in order then you can drink all you want.
Owning My Shit
2024-03-20 19:12:45 +0000 UTC#263 Lifting 5xWeek + 30min cardio 4xWeek Recently got back from a month long work trip to Japan. While I was there I ate/drank like any sailor would, their drinking culture is horrible/awesome. Snagged a notch while in country with the apps. Did plenty of nightgame while there and got 8 numbers/instagrams, but I wasn’t able to convert that to anything. (Maybe they knew I was lying when I said I was a pilot like in “Topp-u Gunn-u”) Now that I’m back home, I’m getting the diet back in check and not drinking for at least 8 weeks to cut the weight I gained being an international degenerate. Japanese girls are fun though, would recommend. Did a read through of Anti-Dump machine and liked what I saw. Does anybody have experience or additional resources for mapping techniques for specifically targeting high-interest options who are less likely to ghost after one or two hookups to daygame? My suspicion is my SMV is just too low at the moment to keep them on the hook or to get most out after getting the number. On another note, a concern regarding frame. I had a female subordinate outright insult me in a group setting in the workplace specifically insinuating I had a significantly lower SMV than my guys I went out with in country, and that the girls who we were with “weren’t there for me”. My response wasn’t high value. I responded saying Japanese girls “love mid white guys”, which was an error. Responding to an overt insult with what amounts to self-deprecating humor is coming into their frame and definitely the wrong move. This was a shot across the bow in regard to rank and the competence hierarchy (I’m the shop’s go to guy while she does no real work). Unfortunately naval law bars me from dropkicking her over the side. Should this be taken as a sign of low SMV as well, or just a junior being bratty at an arrogant supervisor’s expense. My bitterness in response to this offhanded comment by a colleague that I don’t really give a shit about definitely points to a flawed mental model. “I am I valuable man who is in demand and I am entitled to the things I want and won’t be taken advantage of.” VS “My optionality is low because I’m not an in demand guy and I need to self-improve to increase my optionality” How do I balance these seemingly opposite concepts in a way that maximally benefits me and puts me in the right headspace to execute on approaches/other tough shit the most?
Lance Narcissus
2024-03-20 18:31:56 +0000 UTC
