Patreon, R&P Q&A #274
Added 2024-06-19 22:10:29 +0000 UTCVideo will be up by tomorrow
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ive been rewatching the annihilation videos, with the goal of improving my interactions when i go out. i was at a bar/night club waiting for a friend. it has this small section thats an extension of the building, its the most quiet part of the club. i was leaning on the railing when a girl came to a different part of the railing and leaned on it too. i glanced at her and hey ill only be a minute but you look like youre wqiting dor someone. which wasnt the best of openers but she came closer and said that she came to get some fresh air. she then asked if im waiting for someone and i said yeah a friend. we talked for a minute then she asked my name i told her, she told me hers. at this point she was really close to me and im maintaining eye contact during the conversation. we talked some more during which she asked me if i drive or use the bus. i said ive done both. she said you definitely drive thats why you like this city. i started thinking simce she mentioned my car getting her into it tonight should be easier since she brought it up. i was telling her a story when a tiny friend of hers(a girl) came up to us and touched my arm. i brushed her hand off and said hands off the merchandise, that'll be $40. she said why does she to pay. i brushed my arm and said merchandise so you do. tiny girl spoke to the girl i was talking to then tiny girl leaves comes back and grabs my upper arm. i brush her hand off again and say thats another $4 you must be rich. she looks at me i look back. she then stands right in the middle of the me and the first girl i was talking to and starts saying she was scammed and telling the story. during the story she turns her whole body towards me. (during the conversation with the first girl and now with this girl im always reminding myself to have my body facing primarily towards the railing and not too lean in.) as part of the story she pushed me though not much with how much energy she used. i wanted to pick her up and drop her but i didn't. the first girl turned became the third wheel at some point. and im thinking okay if i can bring her back in and carry both of them in a conversation then things could go from good to great. so i brought her back into the conversation. tiny girl says she has work by 8 the next day. this happened on a friday. i say that sucks but i dont have work the first girl says she doesnt have work. then tiny girl says you dont have a job. at this point im thinking a threesome is unlikely so i decide to stick with the first girl i was talking to. and if things go well and sex happens it wont be too late interact with her friend. tiny girl leaves eventually. some time the first girl asks me if i was an instagram i say yes. she leaves and comes back with her phone. i show her my page, she follows me and says she'll be with her friends and that when my friend comes i should introduce them. at this point im thinking im good with getting her instagram. I tell her to say goodbye by kissing my cheek. she does and i kiss hers. i saw her leave later.
WanderingDrake
2024-06-22 07:44:35 +0000 UTCRollo said don’t self deprecate, not Rian. Rollo is a pretentious artist so what did we expect? Artists hate laughing at themselves. Rian disagreed with his take on that and there is lots of room to self deprecate while maintaining frame. Just be cocky when you do it. I don’t know what he meant, but to me amusing is like Jim Carey and funny is like Bill Burr. Physical humour vs word humour.
Dave
2024-06-21 03:34:45 +0000 UTCField Report #9 Home life has become easier and not a day goes by without me thanking Rian. Here is a conversation we had one morning a few days ago. You never take me out. That’s why I am stressed and angry. - I can see how you would feel that way. You promised to buy me a massage and a theater night. This life in a rented apartment and constant money struggles are driving me crazy. You never do anything for me. - Yes, absolutely nothing, never. Another one: How am I supposed to be intimate with you when you... - Yes, that does sound hard. Questions: 1. You have mentioned to never self deprecate. Tell me more. In public speaking that seems the only type of humor I can tolerate from a speaker. 2. Amusing intriguing funny. What is the distinction between amusing and funny? Why use those exact words? There probably is a reason behind it.
Eric Roberts
2024-06-20 18:58:57 +0000 UTCHOLY FUCKING SHIT. Wake the fuck up. You're not stopping her. Drunk Caption much? You're not leading her and you're not leading him (or her). I know way too much about trans shit... The red pill is retarded when it comes to trans issues. Everybody is, including the trans people. Nothing in that realm is black and white. It's all grey. So the expectation from the left that anybody who thinks they're trans is trans is retarded. It's no less retarded than the right who claim nobody is trans. So drop the binary idea sooner than later. Your kid may or may not be trans, but either way, nothing you do is changing anything. And neither is anything that your wife can do. Your kid if fucking 20 years old. Parents of trans kids treat them with kid gloves and they often have a 'failure to launch'. The parents keep the kids locked up at home because the outside world is too scary and dangerous for them. The best thing you can do for your kid is kicking them out of the home ASAP. Your wife will either follow your lead or she won't. If she doesn't and if she wants to smother him, you're powerless. The idea that staying at home and fighting with your wife over parenting of the kid is a really bad option. You've chosen the worst option. The real options are to kick your kid out, or leave the home. Both those are hard, which is why you've picked the easy life of quiet desperation.
Dave
2024-06-20 18:28:31 +0000 UTCI am aware he is older than I was when I got out of the Army, let alone went in. My wife will keep him in the nest if I can't figure out how to stop her.
Gearo's Journey
2024-06-20 18:15:32 +0000 UTCIf your kid is actually 20, I am going to fucking lose it. Are you retarded? That or you live in Italy where kids don't grow up until age 30. Your kid is a full grown adult in every State and Province and they can do whatever the fuck they want! Holy mother of all covert contracts... if I stay home, my kid won't be trans. The best thing you can do for your kid is to stop smothering them and treating them like a child.
Dave
2024-06-20 18:08:28 +0000 UTCI like the reaction to the blinds guy “all the free blinds”. Love is blind = 28-34 year old boss b woman gives a provider beta a chance and is disappointed.
Cousin Eddie
2024-06-20 18:06:27 +0000 UTCHigher priority. Bullshit. This is an excuse. You're virtue signalling to yourself. You're not saving anybody, including yourself. Doing both things is possible and it's quite common. You're not unique. Read NMMNG again. You're doing the classic nice guy shit.
Dave
2024-06-20 18:03:06 +0000 UTCI second that. I read most before but I get lost when I am listening unless I reread them while you talk.
Cousin Eddie
2024-06-20 18:02:12 +0000 UTCFitness - I have been out of my house for half the last month and going forward, I'm going to try to stay closer to home, which allows a better fitness routine. I'm healing well from the bike crash and I'm back into lifting and running. I'm proceeding slowly in returning. Weight - I've lost about 6 or 7 pounds in the past 6 or 7 weeks. This is the first time in my life that I've tried to lose weight by calorie restriction, rather than eating clean and increasing fitness. It feels weird to have cut weight while being less active than normal. I'm glad this happened because it's another tool I can use for weight management. I'm tempted to keep cutting until I see abs. My girl is trying to sabotage me, which I know happens. She verbally says that she doesn't want me to lose weight. Divorce - Nothing new. I agree with the feedback from a couple weeks ago and I need to calm the fuck down and get out of attack mode. We'll see if my having been overly disagreeable works out for negotiation... I go to court in a couple weeks and I need to get all my financial disclosure BS done. Having cut the ex and my kid out of my life has been good for me mentally. If I had maintained those relationships, it would have meant drama for me. Although of course, I create my own boundaries, so I would have sorted that shit out fairly well, but as firm as you can be, drama seeking people would still intrude on my life. Financially, my business keeps growing and my financials keep getting better. I posted record numbers last month. So time isn't on my side. Girlfriend - I've been getting more comfort tests than I would have expected to this point. The frequency is probably every couple weeks. No shit tests. Maybe I need to give her more beta comfort.
Dave
2024-06-20 17:54:42 +0000 UTCField report 20 - Its been 2 months. *What I have done this week* Gym – x3 times a week. (MMA – Four sessions a week (BJJ, Kick/boxing). I have dropped MMA for now too many injuries Work – Is going okay. Getting my programming skillset up by spending 2hrs each morning. (My work performance has been down lately, and this does affect my mood and my mood affects my relationship) LTR- 6 years (Age 30 both of us, no kids - engaged) I have internalised a lot of the concepts from No More Mr Nice Guy. But I must admit to myself that I have not internalised the concepts from when I say no I feel guilty. I have read around 70% of the book, listen to the audio book on spotify and I have tried to master using the tools with no luck. I find it hard to practice using the tools. I sometimes find it hard to make stick in my head so I’m currently reading a non-red-pill book called “Make it stick”. Within the past two years of one of the main aspects that MRP helped me was improving my sex life. Before discovering the red pill, I use to have sex once a week. Post MRP, it then jumped to 3 times a week on average. That being said, it was one of my overall objective. *My current goals* - Learn and internalise WISNIFG. When I argue when anyone (including LTR) and want to conclude with action or a resolution. Then reread Frame. - Come up with a better strategy for managing my LTR anxiousness on been on contraception - Improve my sex life once - Be more consistent with my mood *Observe * - My LTR and I have moved into her mother’s 3-bedroom house (The mum use to live by herself). We are saving for a wedding and a house. 50% of the time her mum tries to leave us alone and sometimes ask me or states if you would like me to leave or want some alone time with my daughter just let me know. *Orient* Sex has gone down massively. It’s gone down to once a month within the past three months, since moving into the mum’s house. I have written this my previous field reports. My LTR has wanted to come off the arm implant contraception for the past 2 years and wanted me to use condom’s, I don’t like using condoms and we haven’t done so in 6 years. Her: I want to take this stupid implant out Me - “Babe we are not ready to start a family yet” Her - Why am I always doing things for you, it’s my body Me - “I know it’s your body, but we are not ready for a kid yet” Her – if you cared about my body, you would support me getting this shit out of my arm. You only want to have sex with me, without respecting my body. Why do I always do things for you. This implant is giving my breast lumps. Why don’t you take some kind of male contraception, if you don’t like condoms. Me – If I wear condoms, it will not feel the same and male I’m not taking a male contraception Her – You are so selfish. Me – You know if care about your body. Then the cycle repeats itself and she then gets very anxious and I then STFU as I don’t know what to do often or say. This is how most of our arguments go. I don’t often provide many solutions to the problem apart from me focusing and stating what I want. This is how things have been for the past 6 years. When the contraception conversation happened last month, Me - “remove the it and I will support her with the decision” - but she does nothing about it. I believe she wants me to go with her She reckons that the benign (non-cancerous) breast lump that she has been getting is because of the implant that she has on her arm. This not the case after many lab tests. She had some of her breast lumps removed last month and towards the end of the last month we had sex after my constant complaints. My LTR is on a clinical trial drug to help manage her mild Crohn’s and there isn’t much data on women that have gotten pregnant under this drug. She has slowly stopped taking this drug and she want to come off the implant for her body to regulate itself. The big bomb self is she want to stop having sex as much as we use to. I have been complaining for the past 2 months about our poor sex life and I getting very cranky. I have gotten rejected for blowjob and sex 90% of time. So, I have removed some of my time, affection and attention and I have noticed that this doesn’t work as well compared to when we use to live together, it use to work like a charm before. *Decision* - These are the options that I have thought of - Keep the contraception and learn how to better handle her anxiety - If I want to use condom’s I have to tell her listen “let’s go the hospital and get the implant out”. This way I know she can’t blame herself and it will be on me, which I don’t mind. Acting (this is the part I find hard to apply within my relationship) – Explore the options 1. Use condom’s is a possible solution 2. *Radom question* - For the longest while till now, my LTR sends me random blue pilled couples doing or talking on Instagram “How to be more intimate with your partner” “How to argue better” “How to set the tone in your relationship as a man” I often ignore these and but sometimes, but I think she wants me to step up. I don’t know what to make of these.
Cocky_funny
2024-06-20 17:49:42 +0000 UTCYes. Helping my son is a higher priority than getting laid. OTOH, I am very open to the possibility that getting laid would put me in a better mental place from which to help him.
Gearo's Journey
2024-06-20 17:45:44 +0000 UTCThere's a bit to unpack here. Yes, hitting on your wife and getting rejected to toughen yourself up. Good plan. You stop for a week, also good. Try shit see what happens. Now you observe, she dressed up in a way to garner attention. So what you had been doing is validating her and getting nothing in return. Here is where you run into a red pill paradox. You should initiate(to toughen yourself up as you said) because she isn't going to, but you shouldn't be validating her. The instinct of talking to other chicks is good. Would read - The Unbreakable Rules of Masculinity - Hotep Jesus For going out and game. Heartiste on game vol 1. The number of times you get rejected is a badge of honor. Check last weeks patreon Rian posted an article about it too. Each time someone rejects you they are doing you a favor. It's all a re-frame. You ditch the not useful frame that someone rejecting you means anything. Choose a more useful frame. Checkout Mode One, by Alan Roger Currie. I got the kindle and the audio book, both worthwhile with some differences. I get the sense that you are afraid to express interest in a woman. There's the old pick up term, statement of intent. You are using your kid as an excuse.
Op Sec
2024-06-20 17:30:24 +0000 UTCHow old is your oldest kid? If they're about to leave home, your level of influence is much lower than you think. You have to put yourself first and sticking around for some imagined outcome of your oldest kid sounds delusional to me. The stay plan is the same as the go plan. You can influence your kid however you want with or without your wife. She's not putting chemicals in the water that are turning the freaking frogs gay. Your kid's going to do what they're going to do. If you haven't gotten laid for 8 months and you're married, you need to consider your marriage as being over. Having any expectation that you can come back from that is delusional. You need to plan on GTFO and getting yourself in a position to do so. Hanging around to influence your kid, is just an excuse. There is a very small chance your marriage will make an epic comeback but the path to that outcome is the same as your leaving. The longest stretch is my marriage was 2.5 months and that was the lead up to our divorce. In the prior 25 years, the longest stretch was 3 weeks. When I was in that stretch, I told her that the frequency wasn't going to work for me and that it needed to change. I wasn't red pill then so I probably was too direct about it, and I should have focussed more on myself, but it worked. After that, more than 1 week was rare. But 8 months? Do you have a good wingman? I think having a partner in crime could help you out.
Dave
2024-06-20 17:27:47 +0000 UTC"What are you going to do next time you are at a party and your wife is flirting with some other dude." - What I came up with was to first try to ignore it and not worry. 2nd, Enjoy what was right in front of me. 3rd realize I can control my emotions but not her behavior. "How is catch and release going, are you eating well, dressing well, lifting heavy things at the gym? " - I'm always pretty chatty when in public. Talk to everyone. I'm eating well, today I got below 200lbs for the first time in 20+ years. I dress well at all times. Haven't been hitting the gym enough. "Do you even lift bro" is in my head. I'm booking a trip for August 24th and just printed off a calendar. Marking 4 days a week to get back in the gym and lift now. Will remember the attractive piece.
RUIN
2024-06-20 17:08:12 +0000 UTC12-year Olds have to interact with daddy on daddy's weekend, 20-year Olds don't. I could be wrong, maybe it's an excuse to not kick my wife to the curb.
Gearo's Journey
2024-06-20 17:05:29 +0000 UTCExplain how staying married will help your oldest child? (Early 20s?) Get clear about blue vs red oceans while doing social animal work.. c and release. A normal bar at circa 50 years old can be ruff (red ocean.) Depends on type of bar and your game. Point: if red oceans are not working then work on building blue ones.
Cousin Eddie
2024-06-20 16:45:23 +0000 UTCYou are being reactive. It is clear you don't have a plan. What are you going to do next time you are at a party and your wife is flirting with some other dude. What's keeping you from being the dude that other women flirt with? How is catch and release going, are you eating well, dressing well, lifting heavy things at the gym? If you assume your relationship is over, do you know what you need to work on?
Op Sec
2024-06-20 15:45:54 +0000 UTCIt has been a while since I wrote a field report. From the perspective of past tense reporting, I have not done much lately. I haven’t gotten laid since October. Looking back, that was about the time my oldest child decided to announce that he thinks he is really “Melinda.” I think am being punished for not playing along. The couch has gone along with the idea that my catch-and-release is just catch-and-release, but I need to break the code and figure out how to get my needs met elsewhere. But I am still where I was 18 months ago, in that fear of rejection is the dominant factor in my interactions with new female prospects. With the wife, I continue to try to initiate now and then. I picture myself like Happy Gilmore, putting money into the pitching machine at the baseball batting cages, and then standing in front of the plate to toughen myself up by getting hit with the ball. I know I come across as needy, so a couple of weeks ago, I decided to take a break and not initiate any physical contact with her for a week. When I came home from my out of town routine at the start of that week, she was sitting on the couch in cute little shorts and a matching tank top. I wondered if this was her equivalent of sexy lingerie, but in the end, I decided to go through with the one week hands-off. Maybe I should have flirted a little and thrown out a compliance test. I have had a couple of small bits of progress since my last FR by opening conversations at one of my usual craft beer spots with a man and woman who were sitting together, and finding out they weren’t on a date (chick was actually available). In the first instance, they were co-workers who wanted to hang out and talk about their co-workers. At one point, she stretched out on her low-backed bar-stool, prompting me to take a good look at her figure. I realized later that I should have treated this as an IOI. Not sure how to proceed when she is hanging with another dude though, even if it is platonic. In the second instance, the chick is a bartender at another place, and a semi-regular at the place where I met her. While she was in the bathroom the dude she was with told me he is a regular at the bar where she worked and she invited him out, but he wasn’t interested in her. She is a single mom, late 20’s I am guessing, nice rack. Every time I said something teasing, she looked like a puppy that had been hit with a rolled up newspaper. I wasn’t sure how to react to that. Since then, I have seen her in that place with other dudes – a different dude every time. The first time, I decided that discretion dictates not to blow her cover. She checks me out. Maybe I made a better impression the first time than I thought. The most recent time I saw her, I greeted her and made some off-hand joke. The kind of guy who gets laid is the kind of guy who is friends with everyone, even if she is with some new dude. A couple of weeks ago, I took my dog to my favorite craft beer place, which is very dog friendly, but wrangling him is a chore, since he is large and not well-trained. As I turned away from the counter, juggling the leash, this woman was sitting at a long table, playing Uno with some friends. She was staring straight at me with a look that was calculated to communicate sexual interest. It is hard to describe, but I don’t know if I ever had a woman look at me like that. I didn’t know how to react. I walked past her table. I hope I smiled, but I don’t remember. I turned back and looked; I remembered who she was from the outlandish hair-style on the friend sitting next to her. I have mentioned this chick in a couple of past field reports from the same craft brew place. I went back to her table later and talked to them briefly, asking them if there was big money riding on the card game. I hoped she got the message that I was not rejecting her interest. My wife and I talked about teaching our youngest child to shoot firearms. So I contacted a friend I haven’t seen in 25 years, but who called me out of the blue about a year ago. I haven’t gone shooting in a long time, and he is extremely qualified to teach. I spent the day with him two weeks ago, shooting, and then talking about our marriages over a burger and fries. He has an issue that even Couch might find unusual, but it’s not his field report. Anyway, it made me realize that I have not hung out with real men in a long time. The dudes in the office where I work have to censor themselves, because they never know when the HR lady will walk in. I joined a club connected to a hobby a took up about 3 years ago, but the club is not very active. I am looking for other ways to meet dudes I can hang out with. Shooting might be a good avenue. Back to the wife, I tried to initiate early in the morning this week, before leaving town like I do every week. She got mad, and said we need to talk this weekend. I don’t know if she is going to tell me she wants a divorce, or she wants to stay married until the kids are out of the house, but that I need to stay off her. As long as she is here using my resources like a wife, I am going to keep trying to initiate. I would seriously consider divorcing her, but I think I need to be around a while longer to get my oldest child back on track. I often think she wants to be divorced, but wants me to be the bad guy.
Gearo's Journey
2024-06-20 15:44:21 +0000 UTCI get up early on the weekend, have a little coffee, do a little reading, and start playing some video games. Wife gets up, is all pissed off at the dog(because it did some stupid dog thing, like throwing up) and is in a generally cranky mood. “you need help with anything?”. “no” followed by emotions. I go back to playing my game. Later she comes by “I’m sorry I was so cranky this morning”. I had noticed but didn’t really care, “whatever, no big deal”. She lays her head on my lap, I pause my game and pat her on the head. Her emotions used to drive me nuts, I really don’t care anymore, I wonder if I’m doing myself a disservice by saying “no big deal”, but don’t see how. The other day, wife is peeking into my office. “Come in, have a seat”. I tried talking to her. She was like a wet blanket, I could have had more fun talking to a wall, literally. Told myself 5 minutes and I’m done. “What’s going on”, “I told you, I’m not feeling good”. I left, had to go to bank before it closed anyway. When I got back home, she was pleasant, and she was wetter than normal. I had just come back from a business trip where I spent two 12-hour days with my co-workers. A day of working and a day of adventure. People were hanging on to me, especially the only girl in the whole group. One of the days was mostly devoid of content and I was charming and charismatic the whole time with everyone. Was almost like a boot camp, I’m giving less fucks and know that I’m going to have a good time regardles of what anyone else might do. This seemed to have some external results too, e.g. Some girl hit on me at the gym and later when she was working out near me, was moaning in a most entertaining manner.
Op Sec
2024-06-20 15:28:24 +0000 UTCI left my last FR at 50/50 on whether to let the grape accusation slide or call it out directly. I made the decision to draw a hard line and confront. My strategy was to say that’s ‘not on’ and give her a binary choice - walk it back OR file a police report. She wouldn’t walk it back so I said I’d call the police. She called the bluff and I just got pissed off even more. Unfortunately, I let my emotions get the best of me and started bringing in past resentments. Lesson learned. She clearly just made the accusation to hurt me and I let it work. In hindsight, I should have just let this one go. Ever since things have been pretty smooth. I could tell she was on edge at one point and just generally being snappy. I jokingly said: “wait a minute, are you coming up on your period or something?” She responded: “you know that’s not always what it is!” I responded: “but are you? Because it’s not, not what it is either.” She laughed and calmed the fuck down. We’ve gotten into Love is Blind at night and I was conscious of a madonna / whore complex moment in my mind. There’s been a woman participant who is always talking about swiping right and just generally being a slut…my wife made a comment and I almost said “she’s a slut”, but thought better of it and STFU and smiled. Don’t want her to stop being my little slut. At one point during the show she said “geez, I’m so happy I’m married.” Didn’t want to “Swiss watch” this, but it landed as a woman’s solipsistic way of complimenting. We had a guy come over to install blinds in the house. He asked me if I wanted to keep the old one’s and I said “sure”. My wife was upstairs and overheard it and yelled down “NO, what are you talking about? Why would you want to keep them, that’s so dumb.” I told him we’re keeping them and walked upstairs. I asked the wife into my daughter's room for privacy and told her not to speak to me that way in front of strangers in our house. She started DEER’ing and I used broken record, she said “okay”. Another example of this was on father’s day. I was on the couch in discussion with my dad and she entered from the other room. She just started talking to me and interrupted us. I paused her and said “I’m speaking with my father, please don’t interrupt again.” She realized she’d fucked up and said sorry. I’m working on these little boundary enforcement opportunities and they seem to be getting better. It’s a respect thing that I also want my daughter to understand / see modeled. Later on the blind dude was being kind of flirty with my wife while getting payment…when he left I made a comment to her about it. Decided to play with it and said “oooh, that would be the best of both worlds - all the free blinds you can handle PLUS he’d control the blinds with his remote to set the mood.” She rolled her eyes as I laughed. I took this approach because I’m trying to work on my jealousy. A week before we went to a kids birthday party. The wife had been talking about the couple who owned the house and brought intimate details about him up in particular on the drive over. She’d obviously been doing some stalking. Big, muscular, rich dude…while at the party I was watching my son run around and look over to see her and this dude being flirtatious…we were just about to leave and went into the kitchen. She was just standing there awkwardly and I asked “do you want to stay?” She asked why I would say that and I just said “I don’t know, you look like you want to stay.” After that she kept mentioning it and how annoyed she was, thankfully I STFU and didn’t say anything else. It blew over, but I need to improve here. I know the concepts and that being jealous of anyone makes them look more intriguing. You kind of make the threat real by reacting to it…so I just need to recognize the jealous emotion in me when it bubbles up and remember to be cocky and not care. Always need to think: “if you can get her, I’ll throw in the truck.” and act accordingly. Was wondering if you’re aware of Orion Taraban? I’ve been listening to some of his content recently and there’s significant overlap with his take on psychology and the red pill praxeology. Anyway - this every 3-4 weeks cadence seems to be working. I catch up on the videos I miss and test how I'm progressing based on what's been happening...then jump back in.
RUIN
2024-06-20 14:24:13 +0000 UTCField Report #6 Last week or so has been very pleasant. Lots of fun in the bedroom and got a few mouth hugs. I have had a lot of fun joking around and not taking things too seriously. Employing several of the assertive tools, mostly agree an amplify, amuse mastery, and broken record. Wife: what are we going to do about (oldest daughter)? Me: doing all that we should do. Wife: (dumps feels) Me: I hear yah, and I got nothing more. Wife: Believe me I am not trying to make you do more. I know this is all. Me: Right on I have found broken record highly effective when it comes to handling emotionally driven situations where the other person’s neuroticism is in the drivers seat. It seems like it almost short circuits the neurotic thought loop. Like a pattern interrupt. Also very effective with the kids. Price of my storage unit kept increasing, got sick of it and moved to a different storage place. The wife went by to sweep it out and they had already discontinued our entry code. No big deal. Got a phone call and my wife starts to unload feelings about how they already “locked us out.” I didn’t care to listen so I butted in with “yeah well they already sent me a receipt without a balance, so apparently they thought it was clean enough. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me. Her: well it’s just weird they already locked us out. Me: yeah lots of weird things happen in this world. Listen I got to get back to work. Thanks for swinging by to clean it up. Months ago I would have happily stepped on the roller coaster. Now I see no reason to fix other people’s emotions or their problems. No one takes your advice anyways. BFE Been very busy at work lately, working 18’s every other day and haven’t been as available. Normally when receiving a text I would text back from my watch fairly quick, or pause what I was doing to answer a phone call. After work no matter how tired I was I would always call home. (Nice guy behavior). Which would lead to me listening to all the days woes for 45 minutes. This past week I have allowed text messages and phone calls to go unanswered. At night if I was beat and didn’t want to talk I was honest. Prioritized my work and sleep. To my surprise I have gotten better behavior and treatment in response. More importantly my actions are more authentic and genuine.
Validation Junkie
2024-06-20 10:54:40 +0000 UTCFeature request Can you continue to read out the majority of the posts? In older videos you used to read out the post (I understand this maybe too cumbersome ) However I like to listen to the posts and your commentary
Fez
2024-06-20 10:43:56 +0000 UTCField Report #20 Focused on the 2/3rd rule this past week after reflecting on me chasing attention from the wife. The week prior I was defaulting back to caretaking and saying yes to requests immediately instead of stopping and doing things on my timeline. What worked for me this week was having multiple things on my list to do and shift my attention to. Being scarce with my attention got positive results in my sex life. Family vacations usually are a wasteland when it comes to sex but this trip has been different. Reflecting how I was previously chasing her and was coming across and desperate. Got a chance to go out just the two of us and kissed her deep before we left the car and pulled away instead of going further. Built tension through the day and fucked while the rest of the family was outside swimming. Kids went to bed later and bent her over and had sex again. Later in the week got a BJ in the hot tub and she swallowed which hasn’t happened since we were dating. Went for round 2 a few hours later and smashed while the family was outside. Sex has still been a milestone of success for me but removing expectations and not chasing her and being intimate without an expectation has led to better sex. Working through in my head milestones of success besides a better sex life.
Amos_Durden
2024-06-20 07:04:13 +0000 UTC
