Hotel Chaldea Ep. Artoria Caster

Sexland.

While it sounds absolutely ridiculous to say, it was an entire dimension, not just some sort of business. And yes, it was exactly what it sounded like, an entire dimension based entirely around the concept of sex, having sex, and being sexed. Everything there, from the flowers to the trees to the animals, was a sexually attractive humanoid of some sort.

Well, the tree was mostly just a regular tree with a huge wooden penis, but, that still counted as humanoid enough to be legal because it had human level intellect and a very human face, even if it was huge.

The point was, everything in there wanted to fuck you, be fucked by you, or some combination of the two. The Birds and the Bees was quite the literal expression there, and needless to say, it was a place that you needed to be fully prepared, and the minimum age to be considered a legal adult in your country of origin, to enter.

"You know this place's actually not so bad," you muttered. "I thought it would smell really bad, since, y'know, everyone's having sex with everything in here all of the time," you said, sweeping your arm across the land, looking down from the hill into the field of huge sunflowers, which was currently being invaded by a bunch of bees, who were basically flying dudes dressed in bumblebee costumes fucking women whose bodies came out of the stems of flowers.

It was actually a pretty nice smell, it smelled like flower pollen, but it didn't make your nose sting at all.

"Why am I here?" lamented your 'Alice', a necessary existence to have when one entered Sexland. She also doubled as the March Hare, with her bunny ears and the buttplug cotton tail. "I should've gone with Master..."

Ritsuka was busy preparing a party. That party was the exact reason why one of Ritsuka's most loyal servants was there with you in Sexland to begin with, Ritsuka needed to keep her busy.

"Well I needed an Alice, and I definitely couldn't bring Nursery Rhyme here with me," you reasoned, "I mean I could, but her powers would override this place and then we'd have a huge mess to clean up, and can you imagine what she'd be like if she acclimatizes to this dimension and reformats herself to match?"

In her pollen stained cute light blue and white dress, Artoria Caster, Castoria for short, shuddered and shook, making some of the pollen actually shake off from the movement. "Yeah, okay, that's fair..."

Exhaling, you turned to her, hearing the slight crunch of the grass under your foot, and putting your hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, it'll be okay, we just have to get all the way through to the end, and go meet Queen Alice," you said. "It shouldn't be too hard."

"Hopefully," Castoria said. "But for some reason, I have a tingly feeling in my bum, and it feels like I'm in danger."

"Oh, don't worry! Everything we have on this place suggests that nothing here is out to hurt us, so, what's the worst that could happen?" you asked, and she made a face as if you had basically promised that the absolute worst thing possible would happen.

Well...

It took about fifteen minutes to run into the first problem, while following the convenient signs towards the Queen's castle.

The Cheshire Cat, or rather, an extraordinarily lewd woman with spotted, color-changing fur that would switch between drinking in light and shimmering radiantly as she moved, an hourglass figure, no clothing at all, and a nine inch long futa cock that matched her massive titties, posed provocatively.

"Alright, I'll guide Alice and her King," she wagged her eyebrows, "on the shorrrtest rrroute to the Queen's Castle, but in return, you must pleasure me!" she spoke, making sure to roll he rs and sticking her tongue out as she did so, as if to show it was visibly like a cat's, before continuing. "It's a fairrr deal, mrow!"

"So, uh- does this mean-"

You turned to Castoria. "It's Sexland of course it means sex," you said. "So would you prefer-"

She pounced on Castoria, knocking her to the ground and flipping her skirt. "Mhhhm!! You're not as chesty as Cheshie's Alice, but this is nice~!" she called, "ahah, you remind me of Bunny, mrowwowow!" she added, hooking clawed fingers around the waistband of Castoria's cute white panties, and pulling the lacy garment off, throwing it away, lining herself up and pushing into Castoria's cunt. "Ahhn!! Top tier cunny right herrrreee!" she cried out in ecstasy. "Shooo, tiiiight!!"

"Well- so-"

Castoria's screaming moan almost caught you by surprise. "Why's it barbed!? And why's it feel so good!?"

It hadn't been barbed ten seconds ago.

"Oi oi oi! You two need to do the work!" the Cheshire Cat stated, reaching behind herself and spreading her cheeks, peering over her shoulder at you with a big grin. "Come on come on come on! Cheshie luuuurves big dicks up her bum~!"

Well. If she was offering- you dropped your pants in moments, somehow it felt natural to be pantsless, and then you got behind her, on your knees, lining up and then pushing it past the tightly puckered ring of muscle of her anus, the crack of her ass being one of the few parts of her body not covered in fur.

"Ohoooo, dashoooo gooo'~!" moaned the cat. "Owieee! Issh too amashin'!"

She was tight, not like, anal virgin tight but, still incredible. She was definitely experienced, her ass was moving unnaturally well, squeezing firmly yet letting you move as you started to pound her from above, taking over the role of moving as you helped her push in and out of Castoria, who was screaming out in pleasure.

Luckily, Cheshie, as she called herself, wasn't exactly holding back on the pleasure, so as you pounded her from above, you quickly brought her to orgasm, and while you were at it, you decided you'd make Castoria cum as well, continuing to bang the two from above them until Castoria's lower body was covered in cum and you exploded inside Cheshie's ass.

It took several minutes for both of them to recover, and during that time, while Cheshie's legs regained the ability to move, you got a quick rundown on where to go next.

Cheshie guided you all the way to a small grove in the middle of a forest of huge mushrooms, where a huge caterpillar woman was smoking directly from a hookah, there were many other small bugs, and even butterfly women. Naturally, they were all fucking, and the smoke from the hookah was an extremely potent aphrodisiac.

Point to Medea, her charm was stronger.

As a Servant, Castoria would normally have been immune, but everything in Sexland contained a little bit of magic, so, well, there she was, getting every one of her holes tongued by hungry butterflies, as you chatted with the Caterpillar woman.

"Can you believe it? They tried to sell me toxic leaves!" she huffed. "You know how infrequently it is that I'm sober? And now I have to be just to show up to the Queen's Court!"

"Yesh! That's the worrst, mrow!" Cheshie agreed, popping her mouth off of the tit she was sucking, resting most of her body on the large caterpillar torso that the sexy woman torso was popping out of, then going back to suck on her titties again while rubbing her cunt, now no longer covered by the cock she had grown from a pill, on the smooth surface of the caterpillar bits.

"You know, my department's pretty good about tracking offenders down, I could offer you a hand," you said, pulling a business card from your pants' pocket, which you had been carrying over your shoulder since it was less suspicious to be swinging pipe when in Sexland, and passing it to her.

"Thank you," the Caterpillar woman said, sniffing and blowing her nose, "you're a good man..." she said, taking it. "Okay, I'll make sure you can pass to keep going," she said. "Hopefully we can resolve this so I can get back to being high as a kite twenty four seven!"

Castoria gurgled something incomprehensible, one hand on the butterfly woman tonguing her asshole's head, the other hand on the head of the butterfly woman eating her pussy, and trying not to lose her mind, even as she came explosively.

Naturally, you were hard as a rock, but you couldn't really afford to waste time satisfying your boner. Saying goodbye to the Caterpillar, and throwing your 'Alice' over your shoulder, you went through the path the Caterpillar opened for you, Cheshie joining you after she got her fill of breasts, something Castoria couldn't really offer her.

After what felt like a week of walking, time was wonky in Sexland, you arrived at an open field, somehow only realizing you had stepped out of the mushroom forest when you ran into the massive tree that you were told you had to find.

"... you expect me to just- suck a tree's dick?" Castoria asked, baffled, gesturing at the wooden penis that stuck out of the large tree's trunk.

"Cheshie's doing it," you said, gesturing at the catwoman who was already climbing on top of the tree, "besides, look at his face, can't you see how disappointed he looks that you won't help him cum?"

"Please young lady," he said, "I've not had anyone treat my cock kindly since the last time Queen Alice visited me," he said, "I cannot move anywhere, and my cock is so large that most flee at the sight of it!"

Sighing, Castoria, clenching her hands, stomped her foot as if to prepare herself. "O-Okay! Fine! But- only because you asked nicely," she said, "make sure to record it," she said, pointing a finger at you, "Ritsuka'll probably wanna see it..."

You figured, yeah, Ritsuka would be pretty upset about missing the sight of Castoria servicing a cock with a glans bigger than her own face, as it was a pretty impressive sight of both Castoria and Cheshie working together to get the Tree off.

They began licking it all over. "Ough, why's it taste so good..!? It's smooth, too..!" Castoria moaned.

"Mhmh, I missed this sap!" Cheshie said. "Missy Casty, if you lick more, more comes out!"

"Oohooo, yesss... keep going, I'm getting closer!"

You made sure to get a good angle as Castoria hugged and clung to the massive boner, while Cheshie rode it from above, grinding her cunt and breasts along its surface while kissing, licking and slurping all over the top of its head, while Castoria wrapped her legs around it from the underside, rubbing her panty clad cunt against its surface while kissing the slit at the tip of the stiff wooden glans.

Despite herself, it was obvious 'Alice' was quite enjoying the sap that was constantly oozing out of the tip.

"Oooh, ooo here it comesss!!"

Well... it was about time you finally saw something that could cum more than you did... the tree covered Castoria's entire body in a thick white glaze, and after that, it was more than willing to point you, with one of its branches, in the right direction. It did take some time to get going, but Cheshie proved that cats' tongue baths are quite thorough, leaving not even a hint of spermsap on Castoria.

The next step was to get to a flowerfield even larger than the one you'd been at, and climb one of the large flowers, which turned out to be a massive dandelion. The wind would carry you along to your destination, but of course, it could never be that simple.

"Why is it that it seems like every woman here has a cock!?" Castoria moaned as she was fucked by a huge harpy-like woman, who had promised to use her wings to make the wind that would be needed to reach the Queen's Castle, if and only if, she was satisfied.

Oh, and the Dandelion agreed to lend you its fluffy offspring to actually fly there, but only if you satisfied her, too, as a very feminine body, complete to the knees, emerged from the stem for you to fuck, bending over beside Castoria, so that you could fondle and kiss the Harpy while she continued to fuck Castoria.

It took only minutes, both of them were raring to go, and you did get to witness the wonderful sight of Castoria being pumped full of eggs, and then having to lay them, after which, while the eggs were left in the care of the Dandelion, the Harpy used her powerful wings to send you and your partner fleeing towards the castle.

And then, as you landed... back on the same hill you started at, you realized, it had all been a circle.

Cheshie looked smug and laughed as Castoria tried to strangle her.

Luckily, all of that was interrupted when a remarkably beautiful blonde, with a large chest, dressed in a blue dress quite similar to Castoria's own, ran towards you from the distant castle, catching Cheshie in a tackle hug.

"Where have you been? We need to prepare for the delegation from Chaldea and-"

There was a moment's pause.

She turned to look at you.

"And, uhh... I, I guess you're ready to come in for diplomacy?" she asked, eyes widening a little as she looked at your cock, still hard since everything in Sexland was so hot it was hard to ever go soft.

"Well, we got a nice tour," you said, "but I wouldn't mind moving this to an audience room..."

"Sure! I'll show you around the castle!" the beautiful blonde said. "Oh! You must be Alice, hello, I'm Alice!" she called, throwing Cheshire off of Castoria and sending her flying like a ragdoll, though the Cat did indeed land on her feet. "You must've been through a lot! Trust me, I would know!" she said with a laugh, helping her fellow blonde up, offering a hand.

Taking it gratefully, Castoria got back on her feet. "Ugh, yeah, is- is it always like this?" she asked, frowning.

"Well, you guys got lucky, if you don't get a guide, you can wind up in all sorts of crazy places! And before I abolished the dress code, you would've had to get specialty clothes made just to get in the castle town let alone in the castle itself!" Alice said, turning back to you, her eyes immediately dropping to your cock. "Ah- I- uh-"

There was a moment's pause.

"Nyahaha, mrow," the catwoman interrupted the silence. "You'll have to excuse our Alice here~ She hasn't seen a human cock since she died yanno!"

There was a moment's pause. "Ergh- it's not like I'm a ghost or anything, uhm-"

"Don't worry," you said, "I'm very used to all sorts of spiritual beings," you said, giving her a thumbs up.

Castoria cleared her throat, clearly gesturing at you to get a move on.

At last, it would be time to actually do what you went there to do. It did take a little longer, of course, as you and your 'Alice' were guided to the 'True' Alice's castle, and to a room where you could finally relax in.

Needless to say, the castle's decor was extremely risqué, and much of it was just straight up pornographic. There were knights that were cards with erotic images on them and armored limbs, there were maids who were extremely sexy women in fetish gear, and as she guided you through her castle's hallways, you found both of those in many combinations pleasuring one another.

Also a literal headless body walking around naked.

Eventually, you reached a nice room, not much to say except it had the most sensible decor of anything you had seen in all of Sexland.

"I trust you understand we're coming to look for one miss March Hare," you said. "I believe you signed as guarantor for her debts?"

Alice cringed. "Y-Yes," she said, "just out of curiosity, how, how much does she owe you?" she asked, as she grabbed a snack from the tray brought in by a maid, a cookie shaped like a heart, covered in white frosting. At some point, Cheshie and Castoria excused themselves, and you knew Castoria was fully intent on getting her revenge on the cat, since her eyes lit up when she heard about getting to use 'that thing', whatever that meant...

"You... might wanna sit down first."

Needless to say...

Alice was quite happy with the terms offered. Especially since, according to her, she was dying for some human contact with people who could actually hold a conversation that wasn't about penis in vagina for a change.