Mega-Trip Log #3: GDC

Train Jam had been exhausting for a number of reasons, but I was in San Francisco now, with GDC looming closer and closer. Thankfully, I had a little bit of time to recover! Half a day, to be precise. I made my way downtown and hobbled into the HI San Francisco Downtown Hostel (also known as the indie hostel), where I'd be staying for the week in a room shared with friends.

It's referred to as the indie hostel because during GDC, indie devs practically take it over. And, since there are many public areas to be social in, it was the ideal place to relax and make new friends! While I could've crashed at a friend's couch, staying here was worth every penny just because of the wonderful people I got to hang out with. I crashed in the upper lobby multiple times after a busy day; the highlight was probably sitting down one night to see a friend load up Oni on his Surface Pro, which I tried out a bit and then segued into speedrunning for about an hour. I couldn't help it.

Before GDC began, I went to a Different Games mini-conference to which I was invited courtesy of my sponsor, Pixelles (a Montreal organization dedicated to helping marginalized folks get into game development). I got to give a micro-talk on starting and finishing any project (one of my favorite talks to give), and saw a ton of very fascinated presentations from other developers, including a lot of students here on scholarships. It was a terrific way to start this part of the trip, and also taught me how a taco bar is supposed to work (I stumbled my way through it best I could; next time I'm gonna rock it).

GDC itself felt like a blur. I had an all-access pass for the first time, which meant I could go to all the talks instead of a limited subset. I zipped around between talks, postmortems and Yerba Buena Gardens, the park where a ton of devs (here, too, mostly indies) hang out when the weather's pleasant. Last year, this part of the trip was mired in social anxiety and rough feelings, as I was in the middle of some difficult emotional times. This year, when a similar situation started to pop up, I went out to resolve it immediately, and it turned out much milder than I had imagined (as anxiety-related problems tend to be). The result was a GDC with a much happier Zandra.

I got to hang out with visual novel folks, I toured some really fascinating alt games with a friend, I went to parties and meet-ups, and I continued my tradition of attending the IGF/GDC awards with Mountain Dew instead of wine. This is always my favorite part of the convention, because it's wonderful to see fellow developers' hard work get recognized, and it also fills me with a creative fire that keeps burning for months. I want to be up there one day; I want to take all this inspiration, go home, and make amazing things. And while I was hoping against hope that Ladykiller in a Bind would win best narrative, I knew its chances were slim - and I burst into tears when it won. That game means so much to me, and it's so invigorating to see that it's possible for a very queer game to receive the recognition it deserves in this industry.

The rest of the trip was spent with friends. I got to visit the Giant Bomb offices, which was a fun little adventure of its own, and hung out with friends in the little studio (which feels so much bigger on screen). I also got to go to That Party, which was predictably extremely loud, but also full of nifty folks to chat with outside between forays into the dance floor. For the last hour I was there, I found myself a seat against the wall on the balcony overlooking the DJs and drifted off to sleep, rocked by the waves of the resonating bass. (I nap at concerts; it's a thing.)

I had a great time, I met old friends, I made new ones, I drank a ton of milkshakes, and I stocked up on so much creative energy that I can't wait to put it to good use making as many things as I can. And with that, I set off to Seattle, where the next part of my trip was to take place.