Mega-Trip Log #6: PAX East

PAX East was wonderful, if strangely subdued. Maybe it's because I was so tired from all the travel at this point (and from never having had a proper night's rest along the way), but the usually amazing show floor itself didn't feel altogether special. The panels, however, were among the best yet, and not just because I was part of several of them.

My first day in Boston was a series of frustrating events. We got there far too early on a redeye flight, waited for a bus into town, and then I went with a friend to her hotel room so I could sleep until 11. Gosh did I ever need it. I made my way out to meet with friends and walked for twenty minutes only to find out that they'd already left for South Station, twice again that distance in the other direction. I gave up and called a cab to go there, only for the driver to get lost and take the long way around, finally depositing me a short ways from my destination. I got there when folks were already having dessert, but thankfully they waited for me to finish up before we all left to head to the convention center.

(As someone with social anxiety and abandonment issues, missing out on social contact or being left behind when out with friends is a major bad time; thankfully the worst case scenarios were narrowly avoided.)

I got my speaker badge - because I was a speaker this time! :D - and got some quality socializing time in the convention center. I got to meet up with friends who are working on a visual novel, see folks I hadn't talked to in months, and generally enjoy myself in the entrance lobby of this giant space that I get to visit every year. I then rushed around to get my luggage and go to my proper hotel, was delayed because the room wasn't ready yet, and once again arrived late at our next get-together that evening. I almost broke down at the train station but thankfully was able to navigate the ticket system and made it to the destination - the Border Cafe, a place where our little group gathers every PAX East to eat and chat. This time, there was an ulterior motive to having our meet-up there: a League of Heels documentary was being shown just around the corner, and Owen, Trace and I had merch to sell!

It was pretty surreal to see myself up on the big screen for the first time. I'm in a documentary! An actual, published documentary! :D The entire film was amazingly well put together, hilarious in all the right ways, and a great wrap-up of what this silly video game wrestling adventure had been so far. Since it was a gathering of like-minded folks, it was also an opportunity to merch, so we set up my comics and posters and got to selling. And we pretty much paid for the printing costs that night, so that was very reassuring! I got to the hotel room far too late and managed to sneak into bed without waking my roommate. Tomorrow, PAX would begin.

And what a first day it was! I was on two panels: a streamed one at the Xsplit booth on how to find your audience as a streamer, and an official PAX panel on authorship and intent in video games.

The first panel was something I lucked into and it was a wonderful hour spent with cool folks (KamikazeKitten and Kate Stark) talking about our story and how we got there; it was positively heartwarming and a healthy sign that there's room for everyone in streaming. I also met two wonderful fellow streamers in the process!

The second panel had a special significance for me for another reason: I'd been submitting that panel to PAX for the past year and a half. A discussion between me, Katherine Cross, Tanya X. Short and Austin Walker, it was meant to be an open-ended talk on the impact of the author's intent in video games , as well as how fan works interacted with the finished product. I proposed it the first time before Katherine and I had even met! But thankfully, after three PAXes of trying, it was finally accepted and OH MY GOSH WE FILLED THE ROOM. We actually filled every seat in the place! And the discussion was enlightening, and the questions from the audience were fascinating! We had an amazing time and, from the looks of it, so did everyone else in the room; I'm not sure in what form, but I absolutely want to keep submitting this discussion to PAX because we certainly didn't answer everything on our first try.

So already PAX was an amazing experience for me: I was finally a speaker there, something I'd been wanting for a couple of years now. I got to visit the show floor - which was even bigger this time around - and while I didn't get to play a lot of games (as it's usually not my priority), I did hang around the visual novel reading room of the Indie Megabooth a lot, both for the cool folks and also so I could finally try some of the games I'd heard so much about. I'm both terrified and excited about Date or Die, I'm glad I was able to see a tiny bit more We Know the Devil content, and oh my gosh I'm so eager to find out more about Heaven Will Be Mine. There's good stuff around the corner, turns out!

Oh right, PAXAMANIA III.

The silly and wonderful and technically tricky League of Heels show returned to PAX once again and I, as the Merch Boss, was there to sell posters and comics. And sell I did, aided by my good friends Trace, Owen and Christy! And oh my gosh we sold so much! This was my best convention ever in that regard and I couldn't be happier. It gave me a huge shot in the arm as far as my art goes; I want to keep making things and try selling them beyond a show that takes place twice a year.

But this PAXAMANIA was also special to me because I was up there on stage! I got to show off the merch with the Merchador, I was roped into an actual fight, and I had some moments on mic! It was a magical time and I'm so glad I was able to contribute a little bit more than I usually do to this ridiculous enterprise. It remains one of the highlights of PAX whenever I go.

Another constant is Pat Baer's wonderful 404ing It: Breaking (Down) the Internet panel, where friends come together to show funny and/or heartwarming videos. I first saw this panel two years before when I was deep in the throes of questioning my gender identity; I walked around, stumbled into it, and just sat down and it was the soothing balm my soul so desperately needed at the time. Since then I've attended every incarnation of that panel I've been able to, and I suggest you check it out if you're ever at a convention where it's happening!

Another fun panel was Danny O'Dwyer's 6 month anniversary of Noclip, where he shared some behind-the-scenes info on the process and answered some questions about the future. He was having laptop problems and it just so happened that I had my Surface Pro with me, so the day was saved! And I spent the entire time worried to death that Windows 10 would do a surprise update and ruin everything (and it ALMOST DID). But thankfully everything went well and we all got to have a fun time! With party hats, even!

The rest of PAX was spent wandering around with friends, eating greasy food, and being extremely cold and tired. The temperature was real low and I once again was surprised by just how much the cold can wreck my mood. I did my best to prepare, but next time I'll have to do a better job - I want my friends to have a good Zandra to hang out with, not a depressed and cranky frost monster.

But, as all good things have to end, my friends and I went out for our traditional burgers and shakes, played some Battle Tetris Gaiden (where I once again defended my undefeated title), and said our goodbyes. The next morning I would begin the long journey home in a rented car with some Montreal buddies... and I look forward to sharing that with you next post!