Chapter 160

Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens, The Pitt - 11:23 AM

What emerged from the overgrowth wasn’t particularly frightening. It wasn’t even spooky. In fact, it kind of looked like a barre wearing a witch's hat.

The Thistle Hag was squat, barely coming up to my waist, but was easily four times my width. A pair of amethyst lights stared at me from underneath its tall, tattered witch’s hat, and I couldn’t see her face. Robes of a similar cloth concealed her body and dragged across the floor. We locked eyes, and I raised my hand.

All around her, the foliage started to go up in flames as purple fireballs erupted out of thin air. They didn’t seem to damage the plants, though it spread as one would expect straight for me. I lowered my hand, performing my favorite move against witches.

I Dropped her hat over her head.

The tall point became enlarged as it obstructed her vision, and I couldn’t help but snicker. Every purple flame dimmed, though they didn’t go out. Line of sight was a fun thing to play with when it came to spellcasters.

She took a step towards me, a massive hand with thick fingers tapered to sharp points emerged from her robe to push her hat back up, and I got a better look at her body. The Thistle Hag was starting to get taller, becoming menacing as the purple lights grew brighter again.

Her body was segmented into large rings made of sickly green wood. As she stepped towards me, the segments pulled away from each other with a mournful creaking. Blue spikes as big around as my fist emerged from between them, draped in splotches of black mold. It covered the Thistle Hag almost completely except for her arms and face, which I still could not see.

A sickly sweet odor wafted from her, causing me to gag. “Oh, that is gross,” I said out loud, holding my hand to my mouth. It had been expected, but that didn’t mean it was welcome.

The Thistle Hag got faster the more of her body was revealed. It didn’t take her long before she got big enough that her hat scraped against the ceiling, and that wasn’t even as tall as she could get. Flames continued to dance and grow in power as she did, and I knew it was time to go. I headed deeper in, running towards the center of the greenhouse.

I wasn’t planning on leading the boss to Jamie, but to make my stand in this next room. Every winter, there was a large area set up for model trains, and on the day the system dropped it was no different. There were less plants in this area to accommodate the numerous tracks. Wide dioramas of different areas were set up all around, detailing buildings, lakes, and cliffs.

Running to the middle of the room, I skidded to a stop next to one of these models where the track surrounded a murky yellow puddle. Acid. Under normal circumstances, I would have had to pull off my glove, roll up my sleeve, and dip my hand in to get the prize hidden in its depths. It was incredibly painful and most metals were dissolved just as quickly as my skin no matter how fast I was.

But now was the time for testing.

As purple flames started to flicker around the high glass ceiling, I released the Cable Conglomerate from the Vambrace of Wires. The rope was comprised of thin, almost dainty strands of metal, but it had proved itself incredibly sturdy. Against the Chainsawfish it had frayed but not broken, and so far only Manny’s finishing blow ability had been able to cut it.

I sent it fishing into the depths as an unhinged scream rang through the greenhouse. The Cable Conglomerate continued to move about even as I turned to face the Thistle Hag. It was dissolving, but slowly enough that it would retrieve the object. Sweeping the rope across the bottom of the acid pit like I was dredging a lake, I mentally told it to coil and squeezed.

The Thistle Hag’s purple fires intensified as it spread throughout the plants lining the room. Fireballs still floated around high above us, and they started to move around in a lazy circle. The boss’ amethyst eyes surveyed the room before locking with mine. She was still screeching.

Focusing on the Vambrace of Wires, I pulled it out of the acid. Only a few strands of the rope had survived, but it carried with it a small item made of metal and glass. It was a model train car that looked almost exactly like a greenhouse on wheels, and I made sure to barely touch it before shoving it into my inventory.

I returned my attention to the Thistle Hag. “Alright, I got what I wanted. Mind kindly letting me-“

The Thistle Hag’s screams got even louder as she stepped into the room. Her height had only been constrained by the hallway she chased me out of. The boss became more menacing as she stretched to her full size of roughly 20 feet tall. She remained as wide as before, however, which made her look like a walking tower of sickly bramble bushes.

“Sheesh, don’t even let me quip, fine!” I complained before lazily swiping my hand towards her.

Model trains were lifted off of their tracks beside me and flew towards the Thistle Hag’s face. She moved a hand with surprising speed and precision, knocking one of the two I could control out of the air. The other managed to slip by before smacking into her face.

Recoiling from surprise more than pain, the Thistle Hag looked down to see the train fall, its cars coming unlatched before they hit the ground. Her eyes met mine as I grinned at her.

“What? They’re plastic. Dunno what you expected,” I said jovially. “At least you stopped scre-“

The Thistle Hag began screaming again, and I sighed. It had been a nice, quiet moment while it lasted.

Above, the fireballs began descending. They headed straight for me, and I was forced to take a step back while retrieving my Writhing Belt Whip. Every fireball that hit the ground jumped back up and continued to pursue, moving quickly towards me. I lashed out with the whip, striking them with brutal efficiency. Each time I attacked, one or more ball of fire were erased from existence.

I didn’t worry about my weapon. Even though they looked like fire, this purple flame was actually scarier than it’s much more mundane counterpart. In past runs, I had called it Soulfire. It attacked my MP before going after my HP, burning away at my spirit before hitting my body.

Now that I knew Angels had souls that were literally fire, I had to think up a new name.

Later, though, because I need to give this my full attention. The fireballs continued to swarm me, making me wheel backwards through the greenhouse. More started to fill the air to replace the ones on my level, and I spared a glance at the Thistle Hag.

Her hands moved like a conductor, controlling where the flames went. The boss hadn’t taken a single step from where she stopped, instead opting to stand at the entrance like some kind of overgrown, rotting tree. She dropped her hands, and the newly formed fireballs fell with them. More were already forming.

It was starting to become more of a problem as the flaming plants all around the room started producing more fireballs as well. I retrieved my Vague Stick, changing its form into that of an overly long sword, and closed my eyes. My senses expanded as I activated Aura Sense, another skill I wouldn’t normally have at this stage.

Even though I could not see, my awareness had never been stronger. With a Wisdom score of 76, I could sense everything in the room and even further beyond. Not Jamie, because she was in a completely different section of the greenhouse, but everything here.

The fireballs glowed with a muted lavender, and I could see the flames lit up on the plants lining the outskirts of the room. Each individual one was shown to me, and I could track their paths far more easily this way than I could with just my eyes.

On the other side, the Thistle Witch was a whirling mass of natural and necromantic aura with swirls of dark green mingling with black. I could see the writhing mass of mold and spikes she had become and could make note of every movement she took.

This was the place I thrived in, and it showed. I danced amongst the fireballs, twisting and twirling even as I lashed out with my whip and my sword. The flames had gone from very close to essentially nonexistent in a hemisphere around me. I could feel my Mental Points ticking down the longer I used the skill, but it was well worth the trouble. After this, I wouldn’t need them for the rest of the day.

After realizing my feelings outside of the dungeon, this felt wonderful. I was a warrior in my prime, graceful and deadly in all my splendor. It was a shame that the only thing keeping me from the Spatial Awareness passive was time, because I was looking forward to synthesizing it with Aura Sense so that I could stop being blind.

The longer I lasted in the center of the Thistle Hag’s raging wildfire, the louder she screamed in frustration. I would have applauded her lung capacity if it weren’t for the fact that she was undead. Anybody could do it if they were literally blowing hot air through their body.

“Sara, could I get a status report on Jamie?” I asked, not opening my eyes until I heard the message appear in front of me.

[[Patron Message]

She’s almost done, Ant. You can start taking out the Thistle Hag, though your Dragon’s Breath might end her too quickly.

Also, Jamie is clear to go to the Army Reserve building next. I checked it out, and there’s no sign of Demonic activity. She’ll be as safe as… well, as someone entering a dungeon.

Worried,

Sara

I blinked at the message; I had expected something about the Trial there, but all I got was worried. It put a smile on my lips regardless. It was harder to keep up with all the fireballs with my eyes open, but still manageable even with my slight confusion.

“No need to be worried, I’m almost always careful,” I assured.

Even though Sara said that Dragon’s Breath might end things too quickly, I activated the skill immediately after speaking. The holy power in my body started to coalesce into a single point. It did take two seconds to activate, but that was nothing.

Blinding golden light spilled out of my mouth as I opened it and spun in a circle. Everywhere I looked, fireballs burst away into the void. The holy energy was potent enough to pop the ones that merely got close to the powerful, surging skill. Further beyond the wall of purple, I could hear the of the greenhouse glass shatter.

The purple lights that remained faded and dimmed as I closed my mouth. Snapping open my inventory, I set the Writhing Belt Whip and Vague Sword inside and started walking towards the Thistle Hag. There was a clear path to her now that I had essentially deleted all the fireballs on ground level. My Dragon’s Breath had removed her legs, making her much shorter now that she had toppled over on the ground.

I pulled out my shiny new toy, lamenting as I always did at it’s terrible name, and revved the engine was I was close.

[[Item]]

Chainsawface

This chainsaw is capable of cutting through any substance with a hardness less than that of Dragon’s bone, and can even cut through incorporeal beings due to the properties of the Tuskgutter Ghost.

Activate by pressing and holding the start button. The Chainsawface has a battery that holds 100 Mental Points, and it takes 10 points to use it for one second. You may transfer resources into the battery, or activate using your native resources at twice the cost.

Current battery level: 100/100.

The chainsaw had been made from the rostrum of the Chainsawfish, pieces of the Tuskgutter Ghost’s tusk, and some of the Pharaoh’s bones. Its handle was made to look almost like a brown shark and, while it was somewhat awkward to hold, it was a fierce weapon with almost five feet of spinning death.

As soon as the Thistle Hag heard the chainsaw, she began screaming again and backing up towards the hallway she had emerged from. The fireballs all around me started to glow as she took control of them again, and I Dropped her hat on her head just as I had before. Her arms flailed towards me in an effort to beat me back, but in her blind panic they easily struck my weapon and cut themselves off.

With her head unprotected, it only took me six seconds of effort to carve her badly enough that she collapsed in a heap of wood, thistles, and mold. It all went everywhere, and I needed to conjure my Shield in order to prevent splinters from flying into me.

Once my work was done, I deactivated Chainsawface and tossed it into my inventory, making a note to refill its battery before I went to bed tonight.

[[Victory!]]

You have defeated the Dungeon Boss [Thistle Hag]; +800 points.

[[Patron Quest Complete!]]

Excellent work, Anthony! I have to admit, it’s very satisfying to see you use that chainsaw.

I knew you could do it, and Jamie managed to get everything of value from the production greenhouse. In fact, she’s heading your way now.

Reward: 1,200 points, Crusader’s Wrath.

Optional Reward: +800 points.

[[Second Scenario Quest Complete!]]

The Thistle Witch has been slain, and the Phipps Conservatory has been taken back from the Pitt. Thankfully, the plants were waiting for just such an occasion, and are ready to start blooming once again after they return to the surface.

Reward: +1,500 points, +50 Guild Points, the Conservatory will be liberated.

Very quickly, before Jamie arrived, I pulled out the Crusader’s Wrath. Back when it was the Gauntlet of the Corrupted Queen, it had been a mix of metallic green and red matte due to how Amlex ended up. It had the same shape now, including the hole in its palm, though it was pure white with orange joints. I quickly checked its stats.

[[Item]]

Crusader’s Wrath

(Angelic item; +5 Dexterity, +5 Constitution, Fire Bolt skill acquired, Shield Hand passive acquired)

[[Skill]]

Fire Bolt

Every minute, Crusader’s Wrath automatically primes a bolt of condensed fire inside its palm. Up to 5 bolts can be primed at any given time. To use Fire Bolt, lift your hand and mentally command the gauntlet to fire. Bolts can travel up to a number of feet equal to twice your Dexterity and deal damage equal to your Strength. Direct hits may also leave the target with a burn.

[[Passive]]

Shield Hand

Crusader’s Wrath may absorb a shield into it, gaining the skills and passive of the item. You can then use the palm of the gauntlet to block attacks.

Crusader’s Wrath currently has no absorbed shield.

“Same similar setup, but much better if I have to say so myself,” I said appreciatively.

Fire Bolt took longer to prime than Stinger Shot and dealt elemental damage, but it held more ammunition at the same time. Shield Hand was also a much better version of Sword Catcher in that it could impart extra skills and passives while still stopping attacks with an almost bare hand.

“What do you look so pleased about?” Jamie asked, coming from behind me.

I turned around and held up the gauntlet. “Patron loot,” I answered. “Going to give it to Jeff, I decided.”

She looked behind me at the torn up corpse of the Thistle Hag. “And the boss loot?”

“Both help gardening,” I told her as I turned back. Laying at my feet was a wooden watering can and a green skill book. “The book will give the Dryad’s Touch passive, which will help provide better yields when tending to plants, and the watering can will do pretty much the same so long as the plants are watered daily.”

Jamie crossed her arms. “Really?”

“Look, this is going to be important,” I said with a shrug. “Can you tag her with the medallion? Then you can get out of here. We should be getting back to the surface pretty soon.”

Sighing, the Weapon Master agreed. She walked past me, reaching into her inventory to pull out the Medallion of Uuska. “Just hold it against it, right?”

“Yup, and you’ll get a prompt.”

Jamie squat down and pressed the medallion against the Thistle Hag’s wooden head. Its eyes no longer glowed with amethyst light, and her face had been twisted and contorted into a silent scream. The Weapon Master didn’t look disturbed in the slightest as she activated the skill.

Standing back up, she wrinkled her nose. “Tea Witch?” Jamie asked as she offered me the medallion.

“Very powerful potioneer,” I said, taking it from her. “Coincidentally, very delicious as well.”

“If you say so.”

“I do,” I said with a smile before checking the stats on the medallion.

[[Item]]

Medallion of the Tea Witch

(+50 hit points, +4 Dexterity, +4 ???, Gain Class skill acquired)

[[Skill]]

Gain Class

Anyone holding this medallion can acquire the class “Tea Witch” by activating this skill. You cannot use this skill if you already have a class.

“Well, at least it was easy enough,” she said. “Do you need me for anything else?”

The light of dungeon liberation started to shine as our time here was up, and I shook my head. “Nope. I’d appreciate it if you could drop off the plants in the Vault back on the Angel Express, though,” I said. “Made another community space labeled plants just for the occasion. I’m going to stick around and harvest the healthy plants that pop up.”

“Sure, sounds good,” Jamie replied with a nod. “And my next destination?”

I gave her a thumbs up. “All cleared by Sara.”

“Alright. Then I’ll see you later.”

“Have fun storming the military base,” I said as she spun on her heel and started walking away. I felt like I was forgetting something important when it hit me.

“Wait! I need the loppers!” I yelled, chasing after her to get my rusted junk back.