Chapter 322

Al-Safa, Syria, 3:15 AM

There was no flash of lightning, no roiling thunder. Smoke didn’t start shooting out of the golden lamp when I rubbed my palm against it. Instead, there was an anticlimactic pop and a woman appeared in front of us. She was floating just like we were.

The Genie looked like a regular person. Even though I couldn’t see, I remembered her clearly. Dusky skin, thick white hair, and brown eyes with a slight figure. She had appeared facing away from us, clad in loose pajama pants and a crop top and shifting back and forth like she was dancing. On top of it all, she appeared to be brushing her teeth.

Mercury crossed his arms as he stared at the strange sight. He looked the Genie up and down before turning to me and gesturing at her in confusion. I held back a laugh; I had to admit, she really was out of place.

What I wasn’t about to tell him was that she took on a form ideal to the first person to see her. It was just another trick of the administrators to get a player to let their guards down so the Genie could corrupt their wishes. This wasn’t the first time that I had sent Mercury into the dungeon to retrieve her. In fact, I had experimented with Jamie and even Ash on one occasion.

This version was by far the easiest to deal with.

“Katie,” I said.

The Genie stiffened and finally seemed to notice that she wasn’t in her lamp anymore. “Oh, em, gee,” she said with her toothbrush still in her mouth, sounding like the very caricature of a valley girl. “Really? I can’t even enjoy my brand new home for ten minutes before some assholes decide to rub up against it?”

“This is not at all what I was expecting,” Mercury deadpanned.

“Not everyone can be Robin Williams, may he rest in peace,” I said, and we both lowered our heads in a moment of silence.

The Genie snapped her fingers and her clothes changed in a puff of smoke. The toothbrush and pajamas disappeared only to immediately be replaced by a camisole and jeans. A look of utter disdain crossed her face as she turned around and looked us over.

“Wow. A touristy pirate king, one of many neckbeards who still thinks ninjas are cool, and some kind of stuck-up hime ghost girl,” Katie said flatly as her eyes panned over us, including lingering on the empty space next to Mercury. “What a prize I won with the lot of you.”

“Trust me, we’re just as thrilled to be here as you are,” I told her with a smile.

“Yeah, I’m real sure about that, buddy,” she retorted before putting one hand on her hip and gesturing towards me with her other. “How’d you even know my name, anyway?”

“I’m Anthony Franklin, a man of many talents,” I said. “Psychic, charming, a little dangerous. The whole package, really. Which means that I will be asking a lot of you. Hopefully, you can deliver.”

The look of disdain on her face only became more prominent as I spoke. It seemed as though she was at war with herself for a few moments before she pinched the bridge of her nose, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

“Fine, whatever,” she said after she composed herself. “There are some rules.”

“Oh, like you can’t kill, can’t make people fall in love, and can’t bring the dead back, right?” Mercury asked. She might not have been what he expected, but he was clearly excited.

“Yeah, for sure. But also, no, I won’t get into a relationship with any of you or pretend to be your date at prom, or whatever,” Katie added. She crossed her arms but lifted a hand and started counting off on her fingers. “Anything having to do with swamps or other humid environments is right out. They’re gross and make my hair frizzy. We’re not playing dress-up if those are the kinds of clothes you wear because your fashion sense clearly can’t be trusted.”

The ninja arched an eyebrow. “Hold up, what?”

He was promptly ignored. “If you think you’re one of those guys who are funny because ha ha misogyny and ask me for a sandwich, I will make it materialize in your lungs. That is a threat and a promise. You can’t wish for a super cool infinity plus one sword. Geeks like you two always try. Even if I could make one better than her in a heartbeat.”

Katie stopped for a moment as she eyed the space where I assumed the Princess was. She listened for a few moments before rolling her eyes and holding up her hand. “Whatever. Here’s some advice you sorely need: you aren’t nearly cute enough for that shade of bitchiness to work for you.”

Another pause, and then she smirked. “I’m not going to waste anymore time on you. It’s not like you’re the one who’s going to make the wishes. Poor thing’s stuck in a sword, manhandled daily by some geek. The case for charity writes itself.”

“Anthony,” Mercury said, putting his hands on his hips.

“Yeah?”

“I think I need to break this Genie’s lamp,” he answered.

“If she keeps this up, I’ll give you her vessel after only making two wishes,” I said, nodding. “The Princess will get a semi-corporeal form eventually. Certainly enough to rub a lamp. I don’t mind donating it for a little payback.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “Wow. Why are the stiffs I gotta deal with always so serious?” she asked before turning to face me fully. “Fine. You have three wishes. Go ahead so I can get back to my new home.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” I replied, stroking my chin. “But there’s so many things to wish for and, honestly, you’re not powerful enough to grant most of them.”

That put a frown on the Genie’s face. “As if you could possibly ask for anything so—”

“I wish that the portal to the Hall of the End, which will herald the end of the system, would appear in front of me right now,” I interrupted, crossing my arms.

“That’s…” Katie’s eyes were widened before she mimicked my body language. “Well obviously I can’t do that. What the hell kind of wish is that?”

“Alright, I wish that you would summon a Destiny Manifest to give me,” I continued.

The Genie paused, then scowled. “The thing that lets players like you alter scenarios? As if you’ll ever get your hands on one of those. I certainly won’t be the one to give it to you.”

“That’s okay, I already have one,” I told her with a dismissive wave of my hand.

“You what?”

I ignored her question. “I wish that everyone who’s still alive is invincible until the system is over.”

“I can’t,” Katie said through grit teeth.

“I wish that all the monsters in the world disappeared.”

“No can do,” she replied.

“I wish for a complete working model of the Hellbreaker bomb made from premium monster parts, including from the one lurking in Chernobyl.”

“I can’t,” she responded again, clenching her fists.

“I wish everyone turned into a Half-Angel by Arontalscion reverts back to being a human.”

“You want me to undo the work of a—”

“I wish the administrators could no longer affect our world.”

“There’s no—”

“I wish that every orbital space laser and kinetic bombardment satellite that haven’t been used yet were moved to a stable orbit around Point Nemo.”

“Those are lock—”

“I wish that all areas had their current scenarios ended and replaced with their first scenarios with the difficulty level intact.”

“You keep asking for all these impossible things!” Katie yelled as she flipped her hair. “Do you really think any of these are possible? You’re talking about world bosses and administrators like they’re something that can be emulated! News flash, bucko, they can’t. It’s just not possible. Wish for something that’s actually reasonable, asshole!”

“Fine, you want a wish you might be able to grant?” I asked coolly, arching an eyebrow. “I’m starting to suspect that you’re all hot air.”

“I’m… That’s… You’re just too demanding!” she retorted, flustered, 

“Or you’re just not as strong as you thought you were,” I countered.

“No, it’s definitely you,” she shot back before flying in close and putting her finger in my face. “If any of your requests were reasonable, then I’d—”

“I wish that my soul was fully connected to my body again,” I interrupted.

Katie paused and her eyes flicked over my body. Healing someone was certainly within her power, and since she had clear permission to mess with my soul this was something she could do. Her gaze lingered on my left side as she started chewing her bottom lip. I could practically see her mind going through the calculations.

But I didn’t want to give her time to think, so I continued as per normal. “I wish that—”

“I can do it!” she interrupted, her voice hostile and whiny at the same time. “Gods, you need to take a chill pill. I’m granting your first wish.”

<<<>>>

[[Patron Message]]

This will… not be pleasant. Prepare yourself, love. I don’t think even you could ignore what is about to happen.

<<<>>>

Katie reached for my head and practically smashed her palm into my face. Her fingers gripped my skull tightly as energy passed from her to me. I grit my teeth as it practically became a bombardment, but one that I had to accept. She lifted her other hand, snapped her fingers, and everything went white.

I prepared myself for what was to come, just as Sara instructed. It was only going to be some minor discomfort, after all. I’d have surely gone through worse. It was probably going to be a bree—

Pain was suddenly all I could remember.

I couldn’t feel my body. It felt as though my consciousness had been torn from it through some kind of astral projection. There were pleasant versions of out of body experiences and terrible ones, and this put them all to shame. I could not find the words to explain the horrors I was feeling.

Then, I started feeling my body again. Real feeling, not just the stimulus coursing through me.

It was happening far too slowly for my liking. I felt my nerves reconnecting with my body one by one. Katie must have severed my whole soul from my body in order to put it back the way it was supposed to. Or, in some facsimile of the way it was supposed to be considering it was still damaged.

Little by little, inch by inch, nerve ending by bloody nerve ending was stitched to my soul. Of course this had to be a painful process. I had given a Genie access to the very core of my being. Even if she couldn’t think fast enough to twist my words, she could still relish in my agony.

Honestly, it wasn’t very surprising, but I found it hard to stick by my decision to save Coe from the Primordial Ice. Not enough that I wouldn’t do it again, but enough to make me think twice.

This was only part one, after all; I still needed to get vaporized by the Hellbreaker to absorb enough holy energy to heal my soul. Which, now that I was thinking about it, sounded like it was completely made up by some madman.

I hoped Sara vetted her sources thoroughly because I wasn’t looking forward to how things could go wrong. This line of thinking was, however, doing wonders for taking my mind off of the pain.

Finally, after what seemed like minutes, I could once again feel my entire body. Mercury was still standing on the Construct I had made for him. He had a hand on my back and was clearly worried. I was doubled over, but still flying. That was no doubt the work of hundreds of years of instinct and mental muscle memory.

“Alright, well, he’s going to be out for a while so I’m going to head back first,” Katie said, and I could hear the smugness oozing from her voice.

“Yeah, not going to happen,” I replied weakly, panting slightly as I wiped the sweat from my brow. I looked up at the Genie and saw her blurry form. That wasn’t quite right. I began blinking, forcing my eyes to focus.

“How are you still awake right now?” she asked incredulously. “I just severed and reconnected your soul. That’s a very painful procedure.”

“Trust me, it was,” I chuckled, deciding to lean into laughter. 

“You just don’t know who you’re dealing with,” Mercury said, slipping back into his gentleman thief persona. “This is Anthony Franklin.”

“Literally who?” Katie asked.

“The guildmaster of Sol Ligatus. The Warmonger. Savior of humanity. You think a little bit of pain is going to put him down? Absolutely not. He’s fought through so much worse than this that you wouldn’t even believe it if I told you.”

“Alright, alright. Simmer down, sidekick,” the Genie said with a huff. She looked down at me as I started to straighten myself out. “Fine. You’re a tenacious one. I’ll give you that. So annoying.”

“Thanks, I try,” I replied before taking a deep breath. The scent of the volcanic field below us made me nauseous from having gone from nothing to taking everything at once, but at least I could smell again. My vision was steadily returning, too. “Alright, I’m ready to continue.”

“Don’t think you can wish away the pain or anything,” she told me as she put a hand on her hip. “You break your soul and this is the price you pay to get patched up. Not that I fixed everything. Not that I could fix everything.”

“I’m something a little more than you expected, huh?” I asked with a forced grin.

Katie met my gaze for a moment. Her eyes flicked over me once again as if assessing my body, and she crossed her arms again. “Yeah. A little bit, but yeah,” she admitted. “Whatever made you what you are is so far out of my wheelhouse that it’s not even funny.”

There was something new in her aura. It was still full of plenty of general purpose disdain for everyone and everything around her, but there was a vein of respect in there. Respect and a little bit of interest. That was intriguing. I doubted it was because I was still conscious after the wish, but I wondered what she saw when she put me back together again.

“If only you knew the half of it,” I chuckled, not wanting to linger on the topic when I was supposed to keep her off her groove. “Then I’m going to make my second wish.”

“Don’t let me keep you,” she replied, waving a hand.

I pulled away from Mercury, giving him a nod for trying to keep me safe, and he returned it. He was still worried, ready to catch me again at a moment’s notice. I appreciated that about him.

My plan was still in place, but as I watched the Genie, I came to realize that she had changed in a way that I had never seen before. No matter how I introduced myself and my guild in the past, she had never shown anything less than disdain.

And now she was showing respect and interest, and I was a little thrown by the change. Did she get a glimpse of Sara from my Angelic soul? Or was it the conglomeration of what I had become this run?

Either way, I felt like I could capitalize on this. It was just a hunch, but I had lived long enough to know when to go for it.

“I’m going to be straight with you,” I started slowly.

“I already said you couldn’t wish for me to be in a relationship with you,” Katie reminded me, speaking just as slowly.

“Cute,” I replied with a smirk. I had to stop myself from telling her I was already married, lest I gave the game away. “Guess that one’s out of the question.”

“Yeah, too bad,” she said, though her aura was another matter. A line like that should have her feelings swirling with nothing but disgust, but it barely changed at all.

Kingly demeanor, soul of an Angel, and close ties with the Reapers. A part of me wondered if she found me closer to a monster than a human. Something more like her than Mercury or the others.

It would have been a fair assessment.

“Look, we could do this whole back and forth thing for hours,” I said before gesturing at her and then towards the ground. “You wouldn’t be able to get used to your new home, I would get tired of flying, it’ll be a whole thing.”

“Yeah, alright. Shoot,” Katie replied defensively, unsure of where I was going with this.

“How about we agree that I won’t ask for any more impossible things and you won’t corrupt my next wish, and I’ll throw in an extra promise,” I said with a smile. “One that you’ll be sure to love.”

The Genie put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at me. “I’m listening.”

“You grant me this next request without making it go topsy turvy, or doing so in a way that’s helpful, and I’ll let you settle in the lamp for a few weeks before claiming the last wish,” I continued before pointing at the vessel I was still holding. “I know you’ll disappear and reappear after I make my third. This’ll get you more uninterrupted time to yourself.”

“Tempting,” she admitted, stroking her chin as she continued to stare at me. “I’m not committing to anything, mind you, but I do like the thought of not getting put into some other troglodyte’s hands immediately after leaving yours.”

“But you agree that staying with me gets you something you want?” I asked, tilting my head towards her.

“You don’t have to put it like that,” Katie said before chewing on her lip. “But, yes. I suppose that’s true.”

“Excellent. Then, tell me, how horrible do you find this shirt, and how easy do you think it’ll be to meld it with another? One that I, perhaps, shouldn’t have access to yet.” With a flourish, I retrieved the Seven-Tenner Bowling Shirt from my inventory.

The Genie visibly recoiled from it. “That thing is ugly. Please tell me that you don’t actually wear that?”

“Think wearing this is a downside all its own?”

“Yeah, gross. You would never catch me dead wearing that,” she said, literally shivering at the thought. “No wonder that piece of junk was in your inventory, ugh. The shirt you have on now is, honestly? The best thing any of you are wearing.”

I smiled, if only because I thought her reaction was a little much. “Then let’s talk about my second wish and, if it’s something you can agree with, you can go back to doing whatever your heart desires. For a little while longer, at least.”

Katie arched an eyebrow, but listened to what I had to say. There was still plenty of contempt in her aura, but I could see that vein of respect grow as I laid out the plan. All I had to do was check her feelings to know for sure if she was on board after my pitch, but that would be the easy part after the negotiations finished.