Chapter 34 - For the Record

I’m not even aware that I’m terrifying. That’s what they said.

They’re wrong. I absolutely know I’m terrifying. That was the look on the face of every single goblin I’ve eaten – terror.

(That’s not what they meant,) Nyx says.

Okay, sure. Why does it matter again?

She sighs. (It matters because the more  powerful and terrifying you are, the more you register as a threat to  the powers that be. The headmaster is probably sheltering you right now  in the hopes that you’ll grow into a powerful asset for ‘good’, or  ‘order’, or ‘balance’, or whatever it is the headmaster values. And even  that is assuming they don’t change their mind. The more you establish  yourself as a tyrant among the student body, the more likely you’ll be  expelled or purged.)

Wha – since when have I ever been a tyrant!?

(Forcing classmates or peers into blood contracts, hmmm?)

I mean besides that!

(It only takes one time with the proper  exposure to turn you into a villain. It’s a lot of work to undo that, so  you’re better off never getting to that point,) my Assistant warns.

Yeah yeah, terrifying undead tyrant over here, clear the way, coming through.

By now we’ve arrived at the headmaster’s office door – Nyx has been scolding me the whole way.

(I haven’t – )

Yes, I know, you’re helping. I’ll give you  that much, you’ve said things before that kept me from being killed for  stupid reasons.

My paladin insisted on coming with me, and she’s the one knocking on the door right now.

“Come in,” I hear through it in a subdued voice. We head inside.

“Please, sit,” they say while gesturing at a  pair of chairs. It looks like they already assumed someone would be  accompanying me.

And then a silent stare.

“So are we gonna –“ I start, but I’m  interrupted by a wave of pressure. It’s strong enough that I’m  struggling to hold my physical form, and it starts to slip.

The headmaster’s eyes flare with a crimson  glow, melting back into their rabbit form. I manage to use Identify, for  all that it’s ever worth.

[Al-Mi’raj Progenitor – Unknown – Level 13927]

Oh.

Izahne is already flat on the ground, but I  can feel through our bond that she’s not fighting… fear, terror. I  recognize them from my other pawn.

“YOU WILL RELEASE MY STUDENTS,” a booming voice resonates through the room and through my mind. “YOU WILL DO IT NOW.”

I’m… not really seeing any options here.

And suddenly Nyx is shouting in my face. (Break the blood pact, you idiot!)

I immediately break the one with Idiot One – I assume that’s what they’re referring to…

“AND NOW THE OTHER ONE.”

“THIS ONE REQUESTED THE BOND,” I answer. The  pressure in the room is too great for me to affect any normal sound, so  it projects as a resonance through the dense magic filling the room.

The rabbit’s eyes narrow, and it raises one  paw toward my paladin. “YOU. RISE, AND SPEAK.” A bubble in the pressure  visibly forms, like a faint yellow barrier with a whipping storm on the  surface.

“It’s true, it’s true, it’s true!” she screams, on her hands and knees.

(If I didn’t know before, she’s definitely serious here. That girl is begging for your life. Don’t you ever forget it,) Nyx says quietly. Quietly enough that if it wasn’t in my head, I probably wouldn’t have heard her.

And then the pressure abates, and I realize  I’m flat of the floor as well. Or, maybe I just reformed here… I’m  pretty sure I lost all control of my form at some point.

[Unknown has forcibly initiated a Spirit Pact!]

[You are now a subservient creature of Unknown!]

Headmaster bunny glares at me. “You will  LEARN the value of freedom. You will NEVER forcibly take it from my  students again. I offered you trust, and whether you understood it or  not, you have betrayed it. Your freedom is forfeit, and so I WILL be  watching you.” They gesture at Izahne again and say, “You who trust this  beast enough to offer yourself to it, I now hold you responsible to  teach it right from wrong. You are to accompany it at all times on  academy property.”

I feel conflict from the link with my paladin. I’m sure we’re going to talk about this later.

The pressure rises once again and the door  behind us blasts open as if from a strong wind. “PRAY I NEED NOT  INTERVENE AGAIN. NOW, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE.”

***

“Well, that could have gone better,” I say.

I start heading back toward… I don’t even  know. I probably don’t have to attend my fourth period lecture now. I  guess I’ll just drift in that direction anyway. My paladin’s emotions  continue to be conflicted, and once again she’s not saying it.

“I can feel that you want to talk. You do know that, right?”

She clenches her hands, but finally says  what’s on her mind. “I’m repeating classes now. I have to repeat  classes. Because I have to watch you, or he’s going to kill you. Maybe  both of us.”

“Ah, I see. Yeah, the headmaster is pretty  scary, yeah? And really strong, I was surprised! I could see their level  though, I thought higher levels just showed up as question marks or  unknown or something?”

(Stronger people can choose to show their information,) my Assistant answers.

“You’re taking this much too casually!” she snaps.

Ah, she’s upset. Huh.

(I'd tell you to apologize, but you wouldn't even know what for.)

My Assistant isn't wrong.

“Help me with this,” I say.

Izahne stops walking. After a moment I stop as well and turn to face her.

She looks down and says nothing.

“I know I’m supposed to apologize, but I  don’t understand what I’m supposed to apologize for, or why, or what it  would even do. I do understand that humans can’t see me as a dangerous  threat or a tyrant or whatever Nyx calls it next. I’m not a human or  whatever, I’m not a social creature, I’m a literal monster. Hells, some  of my life I spent consuming my own kind for sustenance, so I need your  help. Help me understand this.”

We stand in silence for a few moments more,  until she finally starts walking again, passing me. As she passes, she  takes my hand and pulls me along until I match her stride.

But she’s still silent, and our bond feels stormy.

***

Nyx warned me that Izahne might ‘banish me to  the sofa’, whatever that means, but she didn’t. She seems to still be  making an effort, since I’m once again laying still in bed making a  mockery of sleep, and she’s still wrapped around my arm. But even as she  softly snores, I can feel her discontent.

The other party members seem to be tiptoeing  around us, which, is fine. It’d probably be more annoying if they were  all mad at me too.

Mad. Anger. My Assistant has been trying to  talk me through this one. Frustration was easy… just imagine there’s a  really powerful, really delicious ascendant offering themselves to me,  but I absolutely can’t consume them. That’s frustrating! Simple!

But, Anger, hmmm. That one’s a bit more  difficult. And my paladin is suffering from it, and frustration. And  some helplessness, too.

Because of me.

Because I don’t understand.

Because my good ideas aren’t always good just because they’re interesting, or powerful, or have powerful implications.

I sigh, and she stirs in her sleep but doesn’t wake.

Humans are way too complicated.