[Patron-Only Feed] DO IT. JUST. DO IT. YES YOU CAN.

It's still been a pretty slow month, and perhaps I should just resign myself to that fact. The same thing happened last December. Perhaps I work myself too hard, though I'm not fully convinced of that. I worry that I'm not doing the best that I can to make Patreon enjoyable, but I think that feeling is holding me down a bit too much as of recent. 

I'm feeling a bit too stressed lately.

Just do it. Make stuff.

I'm starting to think that I should worry less about managing the complexities of my Patreon rewards; I'm trying to find this "perfect structure" that will work for everyone but may not actually exist... When I should instead just make stuff.

It will be less stressful to just focus on creating art. We're seeing a lot of changes happen between tumblr and my Patreon shifts, so I should take care not to get overwhelmed.

So I'm going to remove the Crowd-sourced Comics idea from the official rewards for now. I don't want to promise something that I'm not yet 100% certain how I'm going to approach logistically. This is still an idea I'm interested in, but it might be smarter to introduce this change slowly. Let's get a better grasp of the new Patreon model before adding a massive new workload onto my plate.

I've been spending so much time stressing over trying to make a sustainable model that makes everyone happy, but I'm not getting anywhere. So the best thing I can do is the most important thing -- make stuff. That's what you're all here for anyway; to see me make stuff.

Patreon Performance in 2018...

With tumblr no longer being a welcoming space for artists, my use of the platform is now over. Although I've come to accept this and have made plans to move elsewhere, I'm still not confident about it. Tumblr was an excellent platform for getting my art seen because of it's easy sharing features, and so much of the support I received came from the tumblr user base...

I believe it will be harder to remain relevant without tumblr -- especially if I work slower. I'm worried that it will only get harder to be successful doing what I do. Given that I'm not used to working slow -- and being fast was a big selling point of mine. 

There is an inherent lack of stability as a freelancer, and I don't know if I'll be able to reach a position of sustaining myself... I am very worried. 

My Patreon has struggled around this same general income value for half a year now, and it has been a bit disheartening to experience. The current value is liable to continue to see this wavering unless I were to become much more enticing to support. I'm still trying to catch up to where I was in August...

If you look at the entire year, there's definitely been some growth by approx. $150 dollars. Whether that's a great value is up for debate, but once we reach the middle of the year, you can see the angle of increase becomes flatter. No real sense of improvement for 6 months.

That's... Not fun.

Fallout 76

Someone purchased Fallout 76 for me, so that's great -- wasn't sure if I was going to buy it. It's not a bad game, though it can be tedious having to maintain your food & water supply; so you're going to WANT to build a base somewhere. I took over a public workshop for a bit.

Ammo is even harder to get; it looks like they want you to get into this idea of scavenging to stay alive. Materials matter a lot more when they're what you use to craft your own ammo.

The game feels more enjoyable when there are other players there. During my first session, I was alone, and it FELT lonely. I didn't know if I was going to like the game because I knew I wasn't going to find some city that was surviving in spite of the state of the world. I don't think this game could've worked with proper NPCs though...

When another player was with me, conflicts felt more manageable, and less lonely. It plays like a Fallout except slightly tougher. Stories are told mostly through terminals, notes, and holotapes -- which is what Bethesda does best with their stories. 

Though this game does lack a motivating narrative reason to explore; Fallout 3 and 4 have that "I have to find my only remaining connection to my old life" and that's a good reason to explore the world. Fallout 76 is more curiosity than anything else.

Into the Spider-verse

I recently actually went outside to watch the latest Spider-Man movie. Very enjoyable and visually impressive. There was always something cool on screen, and I get the impression that the people who worked on the movie were really enjoying their work.

I've had no prior exposure to Miles, so he wasn't a character I've developed any connection to before the movie, but he turned out to be a pretty likable and relate-able character. 

I originally had a lot more stuff to say, but it was getting to be a bit hard to manage, and I figured a lot of it wasn't particularly vital, so I scrapped much of this thread. I'm tired.

Don't forget to eat & sleep.