Constellation, Episode 34 | Telling Lies, Jehovah's Witnesses, Apple Inc., Childhood Variables

Chris is too funny for his own good

Ahlickaloo

Pushing all my buttons today. Apple macbooks are terribly designed, they put high voltage right next to unprotected CPU pins on connectors, so if you're in an area that's too humid it shorts the thing out and kills the CPU. They lock their chips down so nobody can repair their boards. They put their BIOS on the hard drive SSD chips so that if the SSD chips fail, you can't get the system going again. They use their own chips that nobody else uses so that you can't even buy a new hard drive for your system when it's reaching the end of its number of write cycles. Their stuff is designed to fail catastrophically, wipe out all of your data, and be irrepairable (Or not economically reparable) so that you have to subscribe to their cloud backup service, and you have to buy a new one periodically. They intentionally tell their repair stores to set their prices to fix stuff to very close to the price of buying a new system. Apple might be a good company if they cleaned up their act, but they're basically just a bunch of grifters right now. Iphones are about equally bad. Not that Android is any better. It all makes me want to go back to a Nokia brick. At least those are nearly indestructible. As it is, I mostly just buy $200 phones and use them mostly for just messaging and phone calls.

Kaz Redclaw

I'm also a JW, and I agree with the overly protective/zealous parenting. The principles of what JWs believe in is truly a hope for everyone to have a good and fair life.

Eebo85

I've been a Jehovah's Witness in Ohio my whole life and listening to Colin since KF. A lot of what Micah listed just sounded like crazy overly protective parents, not rules to be a JW haha. I had crazy parents too that didn't allow Pokemon and stupid stuff like that. They didn't even allow Internet in our house. But I just researched things on my own from the Bible and ignored all the stupid stuff my parents said. When I moved out my parents chilled out and got Internet and apologized for being so crazy lol

ShotUncleBen

I'm usually pretty good about holding in my laughter when listening in public, but Chris saying "this shit is bussing" in the bit about being in a nursing home broke me... I guess that teaches me to not listen while doing cardio in the gym. Lol

Josh Gamez

Hi! His family actually threw me a little party once and they didn’t realize it was my first time having birthday candles on a cake! Very fun, would recommend :) -Micah

Mama Micah

Howdy! May I ask if you were raised as one? Just the fact that you listen to LSM content is surprising to me because we couldn’t listen to anything (music/shows/movies) that had cursing in it or any crude humor and that would definitely take LSM off the table for the JWs I grew up with. :) -Micah

Mama Micah

Ahhhh man. Im one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and my experience is nothing like how Micah experienced. But funny enough, first time I heard Micah speak, I thought to myself “Hmm I wonder if she used to be one of JWs…” and boom lol

FoundWaldo

Colin should throw Micah a kid's style birthday next year since she got robbed of them all growing up JW!

Shane Sperry

Lol most people in a cult don't recognize they are in one.

Zach

Colin: "I really don't get this apple cult reputation... " Chris, just five minutes later: "Android just sucks dude. iphone just works you know? Also, green text bubble?? Ewww gross 🤢" Colin: "Yeah I just exclude people from group text that are on android" 😂😂

Barry Cahill

Micah is so giddy in this one. 😄 Also, Severance is the shit!

NeO JD

Dude exactly, I don't get what Colin doesn't get about me not wanting to buy a proprietary charger, headphones, docks, any 3rd party entertainment device HAS to have apple support, any 3rd party app or program can't run, the extreme slow down of a lot of devices after a few months. If I'm coming into the ecosystem new, there's not a lot of leeway for me to step in when the connectivity is only in your own ecosystem. Don't get me wrong they are some of the BEST devices to use for art, making games, and entertainment, but also terrible at running/playing that very entertainment lol

Zack Meyer

im like the one weirdo in the world who likes red delicious the most. All other apples are like... too sweet and syrupy, they give me stomach aches.

Travis Johnson

While LISTENING to this episode a witness just walked up to a car parked near me and started witnessing to an older lady. LMFAO, that was my queue to get moving 😂

Lou & Rei Loper

My stepmom is a Jehova’s Witness, and it’s so crazy to think back that she always had to lock herself in the bedroom whenever we had a birthday or Christmas party. And she was always at church. One of the most generous, caring, and understanding people I’ve ever met, though.

Zackery Parkerson

Golden delicious are the second best type of apple only to honey crisp, red delicious is by far the worst

start a infection

I’d pay extra money to listen to Dag and Chris talk about Spiderverse; would be a gem.

A Hind D

Quick correction on the Apple conversation: Intel is still very much around. They have a majority of the market share of desktop PC, laptop, and data center processors.

Tristan Low

Wow. Sorry about the Jehovah’s Witness. I grew up and still am a Christian and my experience is so much different. I’m sorry that church did that to you.

Michael

As an Ex-jahovah witness and from a broken family because of that religion, I'm very thankful to Micah for telling people about them. It needs to be known.

Beau!

Thank you Micah for bringing up your experience as a Jehovah Witness. I know that I brought it up in your mailbag before but my daughter is Jehovah Witness through her mother. She is not as strict on some of the rules that you stated especially since I let it be known before hand that our daughter will celebrate Christmas and holidays when she is at my house. My daughter does get birthday celebrations but her mother won't call it that and does it like a day after or before her actual birthday. She will call it something like life say. It's almost like she looks for loopholes lol. I don't see her shunning our daughter if she decides to not continue with it when she gets older. A lot of reminds me of Catholic church and how boring it is. I went to the kingdom hall twice when we were dating on Easter and it was just as boring as Sunday mass. Thank you again for telling us your experiences with the religion and it helps me feel good that my daughter will be ok despite missing out on some of the things I got to experience as a kid.

Derek Alcott

Small correction: there is no catholic teaching that you can’t go to heaven if you aren’t confirmed. I think your dad is thinking of baptism, but even that isn’t an all-encompassing rule

Michael

It is probably to Chris's benefit that he is unaware of Joe Dirt 2.

46 Fucks

Uffff...

Acosta

Jeshua Anderson

It's not a lie, if you believe it

Shadi Haddad

People who are tinkerers don't like Apple. Its also the principle of being forced into their ecosystem. Everything has to be different. Their charge cable, "syncing" , no right to repair, etc etc. Also their PC's annoy me because you cant put in a new piece of hardware its just "Buy a new one fucker". Finally the price of everything is just outrageous for what you get. Especially when you are comparing PC hardware. No thanks Apple.

Luke Silletta

Isn't this the second time MLM joke was told?

indigoblue

Thank you for opening up Micah 🙌. I’m not religious but find all religions very interesting. Opening up with your experiences taught me a lot, thank you!

Austin Clemence

Lehigh valley gang represent 💯

Conor Wilson

Getting my tires rotated just bursting out laughing Chris is literally the funniest thing ever please have him on more 😂😂

Thomas Rice

Allentown shout out by Dagan. Lots of liars here 🤣

Michael Mashpotato

Yeah most people I talk to about being an ex-JW just know them as “the people that knock on my door and try to give me magazines.” They don’t know that it goes far deeper than that.

OnkiDonkGinkGonk

Very timely topic 💯 https://youtu.be/hFcLyDb6niA?si=VgKR1D9HnYezBxUF

SeanG123

If only Cog could been on for this topic as he was also raised a Jehovahs Witness. I remember when i almost came on Fireside chats to speak about what it is to be a JW. I won't delay on listening to this one. *Holds breath* lol

Jeshua Anderson

Same, there’s a reason that when I needed to cut back on spending, LSM is the only Patreon I still subscribe to.

OnkiDonkGinkGonk

I value this subscription above ALL OTHER SUBSCRIPTIONS I OWN.

Otacon_Ocelot

Let’s go, first!

Mateusz Kuklinski