Let wrestling pay glorious tribute to the NHS!

This week, Wrestle Me is paying tribute to the brave men and women of the NHS (sort of, they won’t see it unless they’re Patreon members) with a selection of matches featuring wrestlers who have pretended to be medically qualified. In actual fact, the majority of them could barely read.

El Medico Asesino & Carnicero Butcher vs Tonino Jackson & El Bulldog Huracan Ramirez (Mexico, 1952)

One of the biggest stars of Lucha Libre during the 1950s, El Medico Asesino appeared in movies, wrestled Lou Thesz for the NWA title four times, and was the first wrestler in Mexican history to have a female valet (who was billed as La Enfermera de El Medico Asesino – “the Nurse of the Medical Assassin”). In 1959, while still in his 30s and his prime, he was diagnosed with incurable cancer - but his family kept the diagnosis secret from him. He spent the last year of his life playing dominoes and wondering why he was losing so much weight. He was inducted into Mexico’s Box y Lucha Hall of Fame in 1989. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CT5PWxwYMA

This tribute to El Medico Asesino uses a lot of incongruous footage of the Beatles, and the song used in the background surely wasn’t copyright cleared. Naughty Mexican wrestling promoter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MyexXJ_dWg

A number of wrestlers revived his gimmick over the years after his death, including El Hijo del Medico Asesino (who isn’t actually his son.) As Benicio Salazar, El Hijo even had a short run in WWE’s developmental territory FCW in 2012, where he lost every single match. Here is he (spoiler: losing) to Bray Wyatt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YPa7cwnNlg

Dr Sam Sheppard (US, 1969)

The inspiration for the Harrison Ford film The Fugitive (where he was renamed Dr Richard Kimble), neurosurgeon Dr Sam Sheppard (an actual doctor!) was found guilty of murdering his wife and jailed in 1954, but exonerated in 1966. All through his trial, he claimed he had heard his wife screaming, but when he’d run to her aid, he’d been knocked unconscious by a man in the bedroom, who he then chased out of the house before being knocked out again. While it sounded unlikely, DNA would later show a third, unknown person had been present in the house during the attack. On Sheppard’s release, he married a woman who’d written to him in prison, who was the sister-in-law of former Nazi propaganda chief Joseph Goebbels (it didn’t last). During the last year of his life, while he was descending into alcoholism, he began a wrestling career, billing himself as ‘Killer Sheppard’. He wrestled over 40 times between 1969 and 1970, drawing big houses every time, but no footage is known to exist. Fun fact: he’s credited with inventing the mandible claw, which Mick Foley would use as a finisher in his run as Mankind in the 1990s. 

Dr X & Andre The Giant vs Ray Stevens & Nick Bockwinkel (AWA, 1972)

Best known worldwide as the masked Destroyer (he remains one of the single most most famous wrestlers in Japan), Dick Beyer took on the role of Doctor X while working for the Minneapolis-based AWA between 1966 and 1972 because booker and perennial champion Verne Gagne didn’t want to relinquish his position as the top babyface. So he brought in the huge star and made him change his name so he wasn’t as big as Verne. No problem - Beyer just goes out there and gets over because he doesn’t know how to do anything but. 

This match (which a much older Beyer chats over) shows him against another of the all-time greats Ray Stevens, whose reputation is kept alive mainly by other wrestlers telling us how good he was, because so little footage of Stevens’ glory years exists. Bobby Heenan, one of his biggest fans, nicked the flip into the turnbuckles from him. And look at young Andre being AMAZING.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oexVY1xuBdo

As a bonus, I've included a snap of Debbie Harry – DEBBIE HARRY – wearing a Dr X T-shirt in the 1970s. Dick Beyer made the shirts himself and sold them in the backs of wrestling magazines. Beyer was bringing the merch before merch even existed.

The Medics vs Eddie Graham & Mike Graham (Atlanta, 1973)

Gordon Solie’s presence can’t detract from the unsettling fact that the Medics’ soft white costumes make them look like weird sperm creatures. Medic #1 was Jim Starr (no, me neither), who also wrestled as Masked Marvel #1 and Intern #1; while Medic #2 was Billy Garrett (nope), who also wrestled as Masked Marvel #2 and Red Raider #1. Glad he got to be a #1 for a bit.
In a medical sidenote, Garrett would die of a bacterial infection in 2002. Respect that dedication to the medical theme.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTholwUM1LA

‘Dr D’ David Schultz vs John Stossel (WWF, 1984)

On 28th December 1984, the bleached blond, curly-haired and genuinely frightening Schultz – who had recently been signed to Vince McMahon’s WWF – took part in an interview with John Stossel, a reporter from the current affairs TV show 20/20. Backstage at Madison Square Garden, Stossel questioned whether pro wrestling was real, which led Schultz to slap him round the head twice in a fury. Stossel was left with hearing problems and settled out of court with the WWF for $425,000. Schultz later claimed that the WWF told him he should hit Stossel given the chance (“Vince McMahon told me to blast him and tear his ass up and to stay in character and be Dr. D”). Schultz was fired later the same year, supposedly because he challenged Mr T to a backstage fight at another MSG show. He retired from wrestling shortly afterwards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrX9Ca7LSyQ

And here’s Stone Cold Steve Austin interviewing Dr D for 75 minutes. One of the comments calls Schultz “Jewish Austin”, which is hilarious and, I believe, completely inaccurate. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeoTDR1cK4s

Los Super Medicos vs Invaders (WWC, 1984)

“Super clasico!” says the YouTube description, and who are we to argue? Set to Queen’s We Will Rock You (another naughty Mexican copyright), these highlights show the Puerto Rican tag team of Super Medico I and Super Medico II.  SM1 was Jose Estrada, while SM2 was the veteran US independent wrestler ‘Bulldog’ Don Kent (who was once a member of one of the biggest tag teams of the 1960s, the absurdly named Fabulous Kangaroos). Both were well into their forties when this match took place. 

Wrestlemania’s best Spanish announcer Hugo Savinovich does an interview beforehand. 

Fun Fact: The man under the Invader I mask is Jorge Gonzales, who would go on to murder Bruiser Brody in 1988. Sorry, that wasn’t as fun a fact as I hoped.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7akf2ciOe4

Jose Estrada would go on to hold the WWF light heavyweight championship in the early 1980s (a belt they cared so little about, they let it go to Japan and be used happily without their consent for years), but Jose lost it to Japanese sensation Tiger Mask. Here’s a rematch between the two at Madison Square Garden, a really good little match for 1982 (all Tiger Mask matches are state-of-the-art). WWE’s turned off comments for this match, but left them on for their tribute video to Superbly Jimmy Murder. I mean, lads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXy3Eus0p6g

The aging Super Medicos were joined from 1990 onwards by Super Medico III, played by Jose Estrada’s son, Jose Estrada Jr. That Jose Estrada ‘enjoyed’ a WWF run between 1987 and 1989, teaming with Jose Luis Rivera as the jobber tag team Los Conquistadors (who were later brought back as alter egos for Edge and Christian for a reason I can’t remember) and again in 1997, as a member of the not-very-fondly-remembered Puerto Rican stable Los Boricuas. 

Here’s Jose (looking like a perfect cross between both Shane McMahon and Kurt Angle in their 2001 King of the Ring match) as the opponent in Edge’s debut. “All we know about Edge is he’s some kind of tortured soul.” Aren’t we all, JR. Aren’t we all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX0IXdDEIKA

And here’s Edge talking about that match at a live UK show, explaining how that match all went wrong, and wasn’t supposed to end by count-out. Edge, mate, try blinking every now and then, your eyes will thank you for it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHGHJz26qqQ

El Medico vs El Super Medico (WWC, 1986)

Oh yes, this is the fucking business. Two medical gimmicks in one ring, battling each other for the right to prescribe ointment (I don’t know if that was the reason they’re fighting, it’s just a guess.) This also fulfils Pete’s dream of seeing wrestlers wearing exactly the same thing in a match, so this could be something very special. And then when you think it can’t get any better….OUT COMES A THIRD ONE DRESSED EXACTLY THE SAME. Move over Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, there’s a new greatest match of all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAz-1nG3l4A

Dr Death Steve Williams & Ted DiBiase vs The Blade Runners, Rock & Sting (Mid-South, 1986)

Legendary tough guy and lifelong Jim Ross favourite, Steve Williams was the epitome of the legit tough man in wrestling in the 1980s and 1990s. Steve Austin’s real surname is Williams, so he changed it to Austin (his hometown) when he started. Without Dr Death, we’d have had Stone Cold Steve Williams, which is not nearly as good.

Here he is in Mid-South, which would ultimately become the first UWF and then merge into Jim Crockett Promotions, forming the bedrock of what became best known as the NWA, the main competition to the WWF in the 1980s. There’s a great Mid-South DVD that WWE put out a few years ago, which is full of Junkyard Dog, Jim Duggan and Ted DiBiase when they were at the top of their games. Go to CEX, they’ve usually got fourteen of them.

The Blade Runners would go on to be better known as the Ultimate Warrior and Sting. Love the fact that Ultimate Warrior was the original Rock (if you forget all Don ‘The Rock’ Muraco, which you shouldn’t.) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9WyaBZl5u8

In 1998, Dr Death was being lined up for a program with WWF champion Steve Austin, something pushed internally by his oldest admirer, Jim Ross. What better way to set him up as a megastar tough man than by having him win a legitimate shoot tournament where he’d genuinely spark out all the other superstars? Well, that was the plan behind the Brawl For All which ran weekly on Raw. And it would have been perfect…if (a) it hadn’t been really boring, (b) if everyone who took part didn’t end up really injured and (c) Dr Death hadn’t been knocked out in Round 2 by Bart Gunn of the mid-card Smoking Gunns tag teams. The entire programme was ruined, and the WWF were so annoyed with Bart Gunn winning, they fed him to Butterbean at Wrestlemania XV, where he ate the most horrific KO in fighting history. There’s a Dark Side of the Ring episode coming about this whole shitshow but enjoy the low-res video on YouTube showing the moment Dr. Death’s incredible career went to sleep in a flurry of flailing punches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfExYwXODR4

The Doctor of Style Slick (WWF, 1987)

The only doctor I’d trust in an emergency. Even if he demanded I strip and then bend over. This video and song is genuinely one of the top ten WWF has ever done. Stick it in the Smithsonian. Or should I say, slick it in the Slicksonionslickslickslick.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHyFNusvKMs

And here’s Slick booked on to the Arsenio Hall in 1988 with The Big Boss Man and Akeem. Man, you’d have thought Akeem would have been feeling uncomfortable in front of a largely African American crowd, but no, he’s having the time of his life. And credit to Boss Man, no one’s ever been in character more in the whole of wrestling history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGyM9PldDbA

The Medic vs Sting (WCW, 1992)

Another half-arsed attempt by WCW to create sub-WWF characters, the Medic is introduced while the cameras film the crowds. Way to get someone over. He’s billed as being “from the State Hospital”, which was also the home of Norman the Lunatic in 1990, so whoever came up with that hometown was so proud of it, they were still pushing for it to be used two years later. Under the mask was a wrestler called Jim White

I love the bit where he climbs the turnbuckle facing the wrong way – if I was Sting, I’d have left him alone just because I wanted to see what the fuck he was planning to do.

At 1:28, you’ll see someone in the crowd holding up the 12” Galoob Sting figure, which I paid just over twenty quid for, about three months ago. My wife went menta.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi7-qo4rv5I

Papa Shango vs The Undertaker (WWF, 1992)

Yes, it counts because he’s a witch doctor, isn’t he? Don’t be racist, it does.

Here’s the future-Godfather taking on one of his real-life buddies The Undertaker in a match that features him using his stick – is that something from voodoo – as a big firework in Undertaker’s face. It probably took a lot of work to make that thing fire out sparks, but it absolutely wasn’t worth it. It looks shit.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xkajv

Isaac Yankem DDS vs The Undertaker (WWF, 1995)

Yes, I know he’s not a doctor, but dentists have to go to some sort of medical school for a long time, so it’s not like they’re not healthcare professionals, so don’t complain. This was the gimmick given to Glen Jacobs, who would later wrestle very slowly for years and years as Kane. Here he is in that gimmick against his real-life brother (it’s not real-life, but play along) The Undertaker (also slightly medical, albeit if you don’t do that medical job well, no one complains).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjvVW8RVpTs

Booty Bangin’ Nurse T (WEW, 2002)

Christ. This lady took part in WEW – Women’s Extreme Wrestling, a semi-pornographic ‘wrestling company’ that ran from 2002 until 2008 at the former home of ECW. Packaged just like the poorly designed ECW DVDs, their DVDs used to clutter up the wrestling section at HMV, making the wrestling section like the top shelf of a newsagent, and make it even more embarrassing to like wrestling. 

There’s no footage easily available online of Booty Bangin’ Nurse T, because their content was basically porn-but-not-quite-porn. It’s certainly barely wrestling. But for whatever mad reason, twelve years after the company folded, their website is still up and running. There are loads of clips there, with titles like “In Ring Sex Fest” and “Nude Body Killers”, but if I click on any of the videos, my virus protection blocks them and my wife walks in and asks what the hell I’m doing. Why not take your chances and see if you have more luck than I did?

https://www.wextremew.com/default.aspx  

Nurse Ratchet vs Cereal Man (Brian Kendrick’s Pro Wrestling, 2015)

Filmed in front of a capacity crowd of what sounds like 11 people, former Ring of Honor, Zero One and Smackdown star Brian Kendrick’s wrestling school features a man pretending to be the female nurse from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest in a match against a superhero made of cereal in a match that takes everything noble about wrestling and euthanises it over the course of a single match. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GswFU9EClK0

Nurse Payne vs Scarlett (Kiwi Pro Wrestling New Zealand, 2013)

What’s with the last two matches and the presence of really poor live commentary? It’s absolutely the worst thing imaginable. Well, second only to someone uploading a wrestling match to show off their company that literally isn’t in focus for a single second.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNy4ALY3Xok

I found an interview with Nurse Payne, and she seems like a really nice lady. In real life, she’s Tracey Robb, “one of the city's many office workers and is employed by New Zealand Consumerables.” “I'm not into sports,” she said. “I actually hate sports and I get nervous in front of a crowd…I probably don't look like I'm having fun half the time, because I'm scared, but it is fun and physical and it's a bit different as well.”

Here’s the angle she was in at the time, which sounds properly like 1980’s small federation gold: “Fans appear to have latched onto the story of Nurse Payne and her favourite patient, “The Brute”. Her trademark moves include administering aid and soothing the savage Brute with “Lovely One”, a stuffed teddy pair, which is “his favourite soft toy””. LOVELY ONE! Let’s all see Nurse Payne with Lovely One.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgK4QuKjzR0

Dr Cerebro vs Discovery (2015)

Dr Cerebro is a Mexican independent wrestler who used to come out to the ring in a little white smock coat carrying a bag, portraying an evil doctor. His mask is supposed to look like he’s had the top of his head removed to expose his brain. Inventive, big fan of that. In real life, Dr Cerebro is actually a qualified and full-time chiropractor, so unlike most of the wrestlers on this list, he has actually had some medical training.

This match takes place in Illinois, in a building called The Fraternity of Eagles, which sounds fucking cool but is probably the American equivalent of those conservative clubs that you only get in either very rough or very posh British towns. Someone in the audience has brought both a cowbell and a whistle with them, and they use them both throughout the match, the absolute arsehole.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG2yVHvXm58