Fates Parallel Chapter 59 - Questions

Jia sat alone in her bedroom, eyes closed as she focused on her meditation. Opening her meridians by herself was an unfamiliar experience for Jia. She hadn’t really done it since her practice for helping Eui awaken, and afterwards she had always practiced joint meditation with Eui. It has been convenient to do so, since they were both technically practicing the same spiritual art, even if it expressed itself in wildly different forms for each of them.

For this, even if she had still been connected with Eui, she felt that she would have had to do it alone. Still, she strongly felt the lack of Eui’s presence. Each slip in concentration was more dire, each mistake more costly without Eui there to bolster her focus. As a result, the meditation was much slower than Jia would have liked.

She had nothing better to do, though. She was taking a short break from practicing the memory technique—Eui had threatened to ban her from snacking if she didn’t—so in the meantime, she was attempting to begin the first steps of the strange technique she learned in a dream—she needed a better name for it.

When she thought about it, the word ‘steps’ came to her mind unbidden. Following the steps of something? Following something through shadows? It would be a lot easier if she knew what the technique actually did. She winced in pain as her concentration slipped and she decided to just go with the first thing that came to mind and stop distracting herself with it.

“Steps of the Stalker it is...”

Theoretically, opening the meridians was the easiest part. All she had to do was follow the path prescribed by the technique—she’d done it before, with Tranquility of the Verdant Marsh. However, there were two problems that she faced now—First, her spiritual art was something she learned from a manual, with precise instructions. Her memories from the dream were more vague, and she had to feel her way along as she went. Second, the path that the dream prescribed was much more complex than her previous technique had been.

As she slowly dug her way through the labyrinthine pathways of her soul, she wondered if there was any end to the formation. It seemed to just go on and on, looping back on itself and creating more and more complex branches. For just a moment, she felt sick with uncertainty—was she a fool? Was she just mindlessly wasting her cultivation potential on a simple dream? She shook it off quickly. The compulsion to practice the technique felt too certain—too real to have just been some flight of whimsy. She had to believe it would lead to something.

She was snapped out of her meditation by a gentle hand shaking her shoulder. She quickly withdrew her qi and blinked up at Eui.

“Hm? What’s going on? Why’d you wake me up?”

Eui crossed her arms with a huff and shook her head.

“You weren’t sleeping, Jia. This isn’t what I had in mind when I told you to take a break.”

Jia shrugged, though she felt a little bit guilty.

“I wasn’t practicing the memory technique.”

“I know, but still...”

Eui sighed.

“Anyway, Eunae’s here for your next staring contest.”

Jia frowned in confusion.

“I thought she wasn’t coming over until the day after tomorrow.”

“It is the day after tomorrow. You’ve been meditating for like thirty hours.”

“What!? But it only felt like—oh ancestors damn it! There’s only five days left!”

Jia cursed furiously. She’d lost an entire day! She had forgotten how easy it was to get caught up in meditation—separating oneself from the outside meant a total loss of any concept of time. Would she even complete the technique in time at this rate? She’d have to worry about it later.

Eunae was already waiting for her in the living room when Jia rushed out—well, it wasn’t like they had any other rooms to wait in.

“Sorry! I got caught up in meditation—I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

Eunae smiled and shook her head.

“Not at all, Jia. Had I known you were in the middle of such intensive training, I would have postponed.”

Eui scoffed as she flopped down on the couch next to Jia and crossed her arms grumpily.

“She’d have clawed my eyes out if I let her miss an appointment.”

“I wouldn’t have been—that angry.”

Jia pouted in protest, and Eunae covered her mouth to giggle.

“I see. Well then, shall we begin?”

“Actually, I wanted to try using a technique I’ve been practicing, to see if it helps.”

“Jia!”

Eui’s tone was warning as she interjected, and Eunae looked between them in confusion as Jia crossed her arms and frowned.

“Tsk, I took a break like you demanded—a thirty hour break! We don’t have time to take things slow!”

Eui huffed and threw her arms up in frustration.

“Fine! Do whatever you want! I’m not helping clean up the mess.”

Eui stood abruptly and stormed off, slamming the bedroom door behind her. Jia was a bit stunned—she hadn’t expected Eui to be so upset, and now she began to worry if there was something else bothering her.

“U-um, should I come back later?”

Eunae was sitting stiffly and staring at her lap, clearly a bit awkward. Jia sighed and shook her head. She’d worry about Eui later.

“No, sorry about that. Let’s continue. I have a new technique that might help, but it’s a bit—difficult, so bear with me, alright?”

Eunae hesitated, casting a glance towards the door that Eui had left through, but nodded.

“Alright, what do you need me to do?”

“I’ll close my eyes as I start the technique, you just get ready to meet my eyes as soon as I open them, okay?”

Eunae nodded, and Jia closed her eyes to focus on the memory technique—which also needed a better name, now that she thought of it. She decided to go with Absolute Awareness. She had made significant strides in the technique over the last few days—ok, more like a few tiny steps forward. She still got an unbearable migraine when she used it, and her nose still bled—but she could bear with the sensory overload a little better and control her actions, and the bleeding was slightly less profuse. It was progress.

As Jia circulated her essence and focused her domain inward, she felt the familiar pressure building in her head and the flood of information overwhelming her senses. Knowing she only had less than a minute of time, she quickly opened her eyes to meet Eunae’s gaze.

Almost immediately, the flood of sensation vanished. The headache was still there, and her nose had already begun bleeding, but none of that mattered. She would bear a thousand times worse if it meant that Eunae would—

Jia’s senses came crashing back into her as Eunae averted her eyes and she nearly passed out from the sudden spike of pain. Only the fact that she immediately stopped the technique kept her from collapsing on the spot. Jia doubled over and held a handkerchief to her face, panting heavily as she tried to catch her breath.

Eunae was at her side in an instant.

“Jia, are you okay!? W-what happened? I don’t think whatever you were trying worked, I’m so sorry!”

Jia waved her off, and sat straight again, wiping off the last remnants of her nosebleed.

“S-sorry, I should have warned you that would happen. I didn’t think it would actually prevent your gaze from working, I’m just hoping it gives me a different perspective for what’s happening.”

Eunae’s brows were twisted into a worried expression as she continued to fuss over Jia.

“Is this what you’ve been practicing recently? No wonder poor Eui’s so upset, you must have been worrying her sick!”

Jia nodded solemnly.

“Yeah...you’re probably right. I think I owe her an apology.”

Eunae sighed and returned to her seat, apparently satisfied that Jia was alright.

“Did it work at least? Whatever it is you were trying to do?”

“I’m not sure. I need to go over the memory of it. This Absolute Awareness technique gives me way too much information to process in real time.”

Eunae frowned.

“Abso—wait, are you talking about recalling objective experience? Jia, that’s not possible at our stage!”

“It is, actually! Well—kind of. Dae helped me work out the theory. It puts a lot of strain on me, but I can remember up to thirty six and a half seconds objectively.”

“Oh, I could just slap him! How can someone so smart be so—no, I understand. That boy would give you the moon if he could. When are you going to tell him you’re already spoken for?”

Jia blushed and shook her head as Eunae stared pointedly at the bedroom.

“I am not—we aren’t—that’s not—I don’t want to talk about this right now!”

Eunae scoffed dismissively as Jia sputtered and stumbled over her response.

“Hmph! Too bad! We are talking about this now. As your friend, I cannot abide by your behavior. It’s time you took some responsibility for your actions!”

Jia’s ears and tail drooped as she desperately tried to bury her face in her hands. She had forgotten how intense and willful Eunae could be. It always came out in the strangest places.

“Jia, you’re not stupid, and neither am I. I know you’re aware of how Hyeong Daesung feels about you, and I refuse to believe that you can have as intimate a relationship as you do with Eui without being aware of her feelings.”

Jia glanced nervously towards the bedroom door, her face was beet red. Were they really going to have this conversation here and now? With Eui in the next room? Eunae continued, heedless of the lack of privacy.

“The question is, how do you feel? Because as it stands, you seem to be taking advantage of both of them without any plan to reciprocate.”

Jia frowned, drawing her knees up as she grumbled her response.

“It’s not like I don’t try to repay the favors I’m given.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jia. Transactional favors are for acquaintances and allies. True friends don’t count things in such a way, and what we are discussing goes well beyond just friendship.”

Jia didn’t have a response—Eunae was right. She knew that Dae and Eui would never demand anything from her in return for what they gave, and her own favors weren’t given with the expectation of receiving something in return, either. Her argument was nothing more than sophistry, and the one she was deceiving was herself.

“Do you even know how you feel about either of them? Have you given it any thought?”

Jia nodded—she actually had, recently.

“Some. Not—not enough.”

Eunae opened her eyes and fixed a narrow-eyed glare at Jia’s chin.

“You need to figure it out. Not tomorrow, not ‘soon’, not after you’ve cleared the trial you’re facing—now. Because as it is, you are doing both of them a disservice by leaving their feelings unanswered. Choose one, or neither—ancestors, choose both for all I care, but do not put this off any longer, Jia.”

Jia buried her face in her knees in a futile attempt to hide the tears that had begun to stream down her cheeks.

“I don’t—I don’t know how. I don’t know how to figure out how I feel. I’m scared that if I make the wrong decision, I’ll regret it without being able to take it back later. I’ve never really had friends before, and I don’t want to lose them...”

Eunae sighed and moved to sit next to Jia, putting an arm around her in a gentle embrace.

“I understand that much, Jia. I know exactly how you feel—which is why I am telling you this. If you wait too long, you’ll end up hurting them—and yourself, for that matter.”

Jia nodded silently, and Eunae patted her on the shoulder as she rose.

“I’ll leave you to consider what I said.”

Jia’s head jerked up in surprise.

“Wait, but the—”

“Tell me tomorrow, Jia.”

Eunae bowed in farewell and left Jia alone with her thoughts. Before she could even collect herself, Eui emerged from the bedroom and sat across from her. Jia wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath to center herself.

“Eui, I—”

Eui raised a hand and shook her head.

“Stop. Let me talk first, ok?”

Jia nodded, and Eui continued.

“You don’t have to rush your decision just because Eunae told you to. I don’t know if you were going to, but I thought that needed to be said. That’s not what I was upset about.”

“It’s not?”

Eui let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well I’m obviously not happy about it, but no. You need time to understand your own feelings, and I can respect that. Even if you never return my feelings, I’m happy just to be by your side.”

Jia frowned unhappily. Despite what Eui said, Jia knew that Eunae was right—she was going to end up hurting her friends at this rate.

“What I am upset about, Jia, is the fact that you don’t listen!”

Jia looked up at Eui, confused.

“What do you—?”

“Jia, we’ve been together for months and if there is one thing that I had to name that I hate about you, it’s the fact that you never listen to other people. When we first met, you ignored my warnings and insisted on attending the initiation. When Ienaga told us about the dangers of joint cultivation, I agonized over it for the rest of the day, but you?”

“I—”

Jia was startled as Eui slammed a fist into the table and interrupted her.

“You barely hesitated! Your mind was made up from the beginning! At first I admired that decisive attitude—a conviction to do what you felt was right. But it goes beyond that, doesn’t it? I made fun of you for being too trusting, but isn’t it the opposite?”

Eui was clearly agitated, but rather than the angry ranting that Jia might have expected, she spoke with animated conviction. It was a little frightening.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Eui.”

“Jia, once you have an idea in your head, it’s impossible to change your mind. No matter what anybody says, you are committed one hundred percent to every decision you make. You don’t trust anybody. You believe the things they tell you, but you don’t trust the decisions that they make.”

“That’s not true!”

Was it? Eui crossed her arms and glared at her.

“What did Dae tell you about this ‘Absolute Awareness’ of yours?”

“He...warned me that it wasn’t meant for houtian cultivators—that even though it was theoretically possible because of my domain, it might be dangerous.”

“And did you listen?”

“...no.”

Eui gestured towards Jia with an open hand.

“There you have it. It’s not only one time, or even just often. Jia, it’s every time! For better or worse, you do not give even the slightest heed to what anybody else tells you to do unless they sit you down and force you to, like Eunae just did.”

Jia stared down at her lap in shame. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Eui was right. For so long she had learned to trust only her own intuition, instincts, and reasoning. Now that she had people she loved and trusted, she had been ignoring their advice, suggestions, and concerns.

Her tail curled inwards and her ears dropped as she made another realization—those decisions didn’t just affect her. Jia and Eui’s cultivation had been intrinsically tied to each other’s. Unless they began anew, they always would be. Every decision Jia made about her cultivation, her future, or even her life would also affect Eui, and Jia hadn’t even considered that until just now.

“I’m sorry...I’ve been so inconsiderate.”

Eui chuckled softly.

“That’s putting it pretty mildly, Jia. If we’re going to work together, you’re going to need to start listening to me. I’m supposed to be your friend, not your henchman. If we’re going to fix our domain and restore our connection, we have to do it as equals—otherwise we may as well just take Ienaga’s advice and start over.”

“You’re right. I’ll stop practicing Absolute Awareness, and I guess I’ll have to talk to Dae too...at least to tell him the same thing I said to you—that I don’t know if I can return his feelings. I owe him that much, at least, right?”

“Woah! Jia, I didn’t say you had to stop! That technique actually sounds pretty amazing, but you can’t keep pushing yourself when it’s so dangerous. You have to take small steps, like with my Six Arms of Asura—don’t rush it! As for Hyeong—ugh, I don’t know. I’m probably not the person to ask.”

Jia nodded in agreement.

“Okay then. That’s what I’ll do. Um, I guess I’ll be relying on you to tell me when I am pushing too hard.”

Eui grinned before turning her nose up in mock haughtiness.

“Not to worry, I am an expert!”

After a brief giggle, Eui’s expression turned more serious again.

“Seriously, though, it’s not just that. I need you to promise you’ll be more mindful when I express concerns in the future, and consult me before you make life-altering decisions like swearing fealty to the future head of a nation!”

Jia blushed and averted her eyes.

“Those were extenuating circumstances! I definitely would have talked it over with you if I could! I promise, though.”

Eui chuckled.

“I know, I’m just teasing. Did you make any progress with your staring contest?”

“I don’t know. Eunae cut our session short before I could go over the memory.”

“Well, check now! I want to know if that technique was worth all the blood and tears.”

Jia nodded and closed her eyes to focus on the thirty six and a half seconds of perfect memory.

She opens her eyes and a foreign domain instantly invades through the opening created by her attention. Eunae’s aura is still present—the domain is part of her, but it isn’t hers. Jia doesn’t know what it means, but she doesn’t have enough time to consider the implications. The divine essence of the domain invades Jia’s mind and soul, demanding her love and obedience. While Jia’s mortal mind is subsumed, the spark of divinity within her domain crosses the connection to—

“Not so fast, little kitty. That’s a cute trick, but you’re a few dozen millenia too early to rob me!”

—Eunae averts her eyes, and Jia returns to her senses as the strange domain retreats back into Eunae. Just before Jia ends her technique, another domain—the one she caught spying on her before—withdraws its presence.

Jia blinked in confusion as she came out of the fugue of objective recall. What? A second domain inside of Eunae? Was it like Murayoshi’s pet spirit? What was that voice? Also—

“Ancestors damn it! We’re being spied on again!”