'Slow Dance Angry Tears'

Greetings Creatures,

I was having a rough day and then had a bunch of kind people reach out to me, telling me they  were also having rough days and well long story short I somehow got to listening to a new song I wrote and it actually amazingly made me feel a bit better... which is super weird, potentially bordering on some weird narcissistic territory there perhaps? I don't know, is it ok to feel healed by your own work? Sounds ok, but if I think about it too much it makes me feel strange LOL. Anyway I decided on the off chance that it could bring some joy to any of you I wanted to widen the circle of healing....

Last month my amazing Patrons unlocked a brand new Psychic Babble demo by helping me cross the 225 patron threshold. Now that they've had it for a bit I felt it was ok to extend it out to all of you. 

Solo projects are such a weird thing to navigate. I haven't put out a full record in almost 10 years (holy shit I know) and while I have written tons of stuff, made lots of half finished demos but up until this last year I just haven't felt the same urgency to put out my own music in the way that I've felt it with CIrca. All that is to say that I am feeling it again and even if I don't put out an official "album" anytime soon it feels incredible to have TWO safe places to share things I am working on in the meantime. Thank you for your support of all that we do.

-C

text from original post below ( lyrics included )

tracked & mixed by me

mastered by Richie Taver

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This song is currently called 'Slow Dance Angry Tears'. Over the years I've spent a lot of time sitting with anger, sadness, frustration and trying to find ways to channel it into something loving.  This song meditates on this concept with some new inspirations over the fresh hell we've all been living in.   (lyrics at bottom) 

 This song is about the acceptance of one's sorrow & rage and not trying to force positivity or pleasantries during difficult times and instances of injustice. This is not to say that optimism or joy are not welcome in fact I think if there is a deeper lesson I have learned through activism, awareness etc is that you can't put yourself in a mindset of constantly separating these things without creating an active bubble of denial. There will always be a valid reason to be angry or devastated by sadness if we are looking at the world through a clear lens so our celebrations of humanity & life must exist simultaneously with the harshness. Note that when I say "someday we'll laugh about it" this is more so posed as a question with a raised eyebrow rather than an exclamation.

This song is for many people but especially my partner Sarah whom I can always count on to cry angry tears with me while at the same time asking me to slow dance in our kitchen. 

I hope you like the song. Like most things I share here musically it is still a work in progress I am still learning things like mixing and doing my best to "master" these demos but eventually they will get a more pro approach, thank you for being my safe place. 

xoxo

oh no not again

no more nightmares 

another day of sunshine 

Feels like acid rain

cause I’m falling deep 

into a portal

& when I open my eyes 

I still don’t recognize 

the world I see (how could it be?)

you still want a dance 

but the sky is on fire

everybody’s screaming 

and I don’t know what to do 

some day we ll laugh about it 

for now 

we’re crying angry tears

some day we’ll laugh about it?

oh Sarah 

maybe light a candle 

light a candle for me 

for Elijah, Breonna 

for every Black body 

for every Brown body 

as we’re falling deep 

into that portal 

& when we open our eyes 

will we ever recognize

the world we see?

I can’t believe it