Unexpected Guests - Chapter 15 - Taking our Chances

“Okkkaaayyyy… this is new. Where is everyone?” I asked as we stepped out of the safe room and into the parlor. 

I’d expected a couple comfy couches, a plush carpet, and maybe even a large stone fireplace to heat the place up. Instead I found what appeared to be a small gambling hall filled with tables for things like poker, blackjack and roulette, all separated by dividers that broke up the sightlines. 

It wasn’t a big room, maybe two hundred meters square, with quite a bit of open space between the tables. It would have been perfect for a quick brawl, if there had been anyone here.

“Maybe they took the day off?” Bob suggested.

“I wish,” I muttered. “It’s far more likely to be a trick.”

“It is?” Bob replied, looking over the room. “I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I,” I grumbled. “Bandit?” 

The fox scanned the room, then shrugged. “Don’t know what to tell you, boss, the room’s empty. There’s not even any air disturbances to indicate something invisible moving around. There’s nothing here.”

I frowned, and took one last look around the room and shrugged. “Well… If they want to give us a freebie I’m not going to complain.”

We slowly worked our way between the various tables to the door at the far end of the room, and when I pushed my way through I immediately froze. The room was so similar to the previous one that I had to turn around and make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

“I still don’t get it,” Bob declared as he casually strolled into the middle of the room.

“Bob, stop! The room isn’t safe!” Bandit shouted as he ran into the room. 

Bob turned back just as the Poker table behind him split apart. The front panels pushed out and spit apart like claws, while six spindly brass legs appeared from underneath and pushed the thing forward. If I stood back, and squinted, it almost looked like some sort of clockwork crab.

The thing swiftly raised one of its massive wooden claws and clamped down on Bob’s leg. Even though it exerted so much force that the hardwood creaked under the strain, Bob took several seconds to notice. When he did, the bear casually backhanded the offending limb, causing it to shatter. “Stop that.”

The automaton staggered back, and started bringing its second claw around, but before it connected Bob smashed his other fist into the wannabe table, causing it to shatter.

One of the other gambling tables, and a handful of chairs all shifted, revealing their mechanical nature. If they’d all attacked at once they might have had a chance to do some damage, but now that they’d lost the element of surprise, they were easy pickings.

I stepped right up next to the nearest chair automaton and kicked it back against the nearest table, causing the creature to shatter, before bringing my axe down through a second. The things might have had exceptional camouflage, but they were slow and brittle, especially compared to everything else we’d fought over the last couple hours. None of the clockwork creations ever managed to get a hit off, most of them died mid transformation and those that did finish were far too slow to be dangerous. Perhaps they were meant to be ambush predators, ganging up someone that wandered too close, but since that someone was Bob all their preparations were for naught.

“How did you know?” I asked Bandit, once the last clockwork creation fell to pieces.

“They were in different locations, and a slightly different size compared to the previous room,” Bandit replied. 

“So?”

“So… if this is the mental wing, this entire floor might be a giant spot the difference game,” the fox said.

I blinked. “Fuck! I wasn’t paying close enough attention in the last room.” 

“Yeah, I figured,” Bandit grumbled. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”

I glanced around, suddenly far more suspicious of the surrounding furniture than I was before. “Is there anything else out of the ordinary?” 

“Not in this room. I’m guessing there might be more versions though,” Bandit replied.

“Then you take the lead, point out the issues, and we’ll take care of the rest,” I said.

“I can do that, just don’t wander too far,” Bandit grumbled. “All I’ve got is Deadbeat’s crossbow, and it’s not that effective against these constructs. I wish we hadn’t traded weapons a couple floors ago.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got your back,” I said, pushing the fox toward the door. Spooky followed closely behind me, but Bob stayed behind poking at the wreckage.

“Hey, Big bear, time to go!” I shouted.

“Be right there!” he yelled back, stomping on the remains of one of the larger automatons, a couple more times before getting caught in the wreckage and stumbling over his own feet. I just sighed and pushed everyone else into the next room.

Bandit took two steps into the room, quickly scanned the area, then pointed at a lounger sitting against the wall. 

“That wasn’t there before,” he explained, before pausing for a moment. “Also, it’s breathing.” 

“Yeah… that’s not normal,” Spooky muttered. “Want me to take care of it?” 

“Go for it,” I replied, motioning to the fake furniture. 

Spooky slowly snuck up on the suspect seat, which didn’t even seem to twitch until he was only a few steps away. When the bear raised his sword to strike the pillows popped up, revealing several rows of razor sharp teeth. A long prehensile tongue shot out and wrapped around the bear, quickly pulling spooky into it’s plush maw.

With Spooky incapacitated the lounger started running away, squealing like a naughty puppy.

“Ugh… that better not have crushed him,” I moaned just as the door behind us popped open.

“What’s happening here? Anything fun?” Bob asked, as he wandered in.

“I wouldn’t exactly say fun, Spooky just got eaten by the furniture,” I sighed. “Do you think you could get him out of there?” 

“Okie Dokie!” the big bear replied. 

As he stepped to the side, and tried to squeeze behind me, Bandit intercepted him. Confused, I turned around, and watched the two of them. 

“Hey Bob, lean down here, I have something to tell you,” Bandit said, gesturing Bob closer.

Bob cocked his head to the side, confused, but still slowly leaned down towards the fox.

“You want to know a secret?” Bandit whispered, loud enough that even I could hear. “Bob weighs enough that I can feel him moving around from half a building away, and he still hasn’t left the previous room.” 

The Bob thing started to pull back, but before it could escape Bandit unloaded the crossbow directly into its throat. As the creature fell back, clutching at the arrow lodged in its throat, the disguise fell away. Its flesh rippled, it shrank down becoming a featureless grey humanoid with massive black eyes. Although it was nearly as tall as Bob, it was long and spindly. I had no idea how it had managed to so perfectly recreate Bob’s form.

“If Bob’s still in the previous room, how did this thing manage to sneak through?” I asked as the creature exploded into motes of light. 

“I see two options. Either they used a magic portal to bypass the previous room and allow it to appear right behind us,” Bandit said. “Or it walked right past Bob and he didn’t even notice.”

I reached up and rubbed my eyes. “Ugh… you know what the worst part of that is? I one hundred percent can see that happening. Even if he did notice, he probably would have just looked up and waved.”

“I’m just glad it couldn’t mimic Bob’s weight, otherwise it might have taken me longer to notice. It was a pretty good disguise,” Bandit said. 

“Too good,” I agreed. 

The two of us stared at the spot where the creature stood for another couple seconds, then Bandit cleared his throat. “So… what should we do with the animated armchair? We should probably try and get Spooky back.”

I glanced at the mimic as it ran back and forth, hugging the far wall. “Shoot it from here. Start with arrows, but if they don’t work switch to your rifle. Although it can’t surprise us like it did Spooky, I don’t want to risk either of us getting grabbed.” 

“You don’t want me to conserve what I have left?” Bandit asked.

“We lost too many people during the previous few floors,” I said, shaking my head. “I’d rather save lives rather than save ammo at this point. Do what you have to do.”

Bandit nodded, and waddled off to snipe the excited creature at the other end of the room. As soon as he did, Bob stepped into the room. He glanced around with a dopey smile. “So, what’s happening here?”