Go Ask Alex (Collection 3)

Author's Note: I realize this has been one of my least popular stories, but I'm not ready to give up on it yet. I think the problem is my "slow regression of the character" was TOO slow, and it was hard to see where the story is going. So I tried to speed up the process a bit in this one. There also hasn't been as much smut or 'steamy scenes'. Unfortunately there won't be much in this Collection either, but I'm getting there! I promise! If you still don't like it after this collection then I can put it in the diaper pail and move on to better things :)

Day 6

I already hate this cage. Not just because I can’t cum, but it’s just so damn uncomfortable. It pinches, it bites, and it feels like it constantly keeps my cock in a shriveled up position. I woke up this morning in pain, like my dick was trying to press its way out from my morning wood but had nowhere to go.

I had the weirdest dreams. Images of dicks and blowjobs floating through a haze. I never want to see those videos again. When I get out of here, I’m watching nothing but lesbian porn from here on out.

This is the longest I've been sober in a while. Whatever they’re putting in those shots helps scratch the itch and urges. My nipples hurt more than ever, but at least I'm not shitting myself like I usually do when I come off opiates.

Well…I am still shitting myself. But it’s more of a “because I have to” sort of thing.

Diaper changes are different now that I'm caged. They take longer now that she has to clean around the device. She straps me down just in case she has to remove it to clean particularly hard spots. When I ask her for a handjob she says “No no, little one. Those are no more. You wanted to watch your videos, remember? So the only way you can make your wittle cummies is if you’re strapped in that chair! Or you have a friend to play with…”

I wasn’t sure what that last part meant. The chair sits in my room permanently now. It looks like an electrocution chair they used to use in the old days. Which is ironic, because I feel like my brain is fried from yesterday.

My tray of food looked different today. In addition to my meal of mushy peas and carrots with a bottle of the strange milk, there was a note attached.

It was in a large, green envelope with ‘Alex’ written across the front in my girlfriend’s handwriting. I immediately ripped it open and began reading.

Dear Alex,

They told me I could write to you once a week. I’m sure by now you have settled in and calmed down since our last fight. I’m sorry for springing the intervention on you, but I just didn’t know what to do. I just can’t drown with you any more. The life we promised each other with a house and kids is never going to happen if you continue to let your addictions get in the way.

I can no longer watch as you continue to use and abuse the millions of chances I've given you. Any money we’ve saved you spent on drugs or rehab. If I hadn’t found this place, we’d already be done. But they offered to get you clean for free. Something about a “tried and proven” method. So I looked into it. Turns out their methods are…interesting, to say the least. I don’t think you know what you’re in for. Or maybe by the time you read this you already will have an inkling. All I can say is this is the LAST straw. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what will. But I can’t sit idly by and watch you piss your life away.

This is it. This is your life now, and if you want it to change, if you want to keep me around, you better fucking get your shit together. They say they have a 24-hour camera on you so that I can monitor and track your progress. So we’ll see how that goes. Until then, I hope you make the best of your…situation. I’m sure there’s going to be lots of ‘changes’, if you know what I mean.

I will be coming to see you in a few weeks. They say that you need time to adjust to your new lifestyle before I’m allowed to visit. I hope to see improvement by then. Please don’t screw this up.

Love,

Lydia

I cried like a baby as I read it. The only remnant of my old life in my hands, now covered in tear stains. I read the note over and over again for the next few hours. Sobbing and rocking back and forth. I wanted to rip this stupid diaper off, smash the cage around my cock, scream at the top of my lungs, but all I could do was cry. Lydia was the only thing that kept me going through these days.

Actually, that's not true. I don’t think I've mentioned her in this diary at all. The prospect of getting through this and back to my drugs kept me going. What does that say about me?

Day 7

I've been here for one week now. A full week. Yet it feels like years.

I woke up wet this morning. Usually when that happens I remember waking up in the middle of the night and doing so. I don’t remember waking up last night, but I definitely didn’t wet myself by accident. Probably.

The cage is growing more annoying by the day. I’ve tried prying it off. Reaching in my diaper, tugging and pulling until my balls hurt. But it’s no use. I miss touching myself. I miss Tina touching me. I miss having sex with my girlfriend Lydia.

Well, I miss attempting sex with Lydia. Oftentimes I was too drunk and/or high to get a full erection. And even though my dick is obviously super huge and not small at all, it still couldn’t please her.

We used to have mindblowing sex. Lydia was a freak and loved doing anything and everything, anytime, anywhere. But as my addiction worsened, so did our sex life. Lydia was often left wanting, curled up on her side of the bed and drifting off to sleep while I lit up another bowl.

It’s hard to remember when my addiction started. I remember being in middle school and using weed to cope every time my mother and I had a fight. Dad was gone before I was born. The asshole left my mother as soon as she found out she was pregnant with me. She always resented me for that. Every time I acted up or was a typical teenager, she would say “This is why your father left, so he didn’t have to deal with you.” Yea, she actually said that shit. Can you believe that?

Weed helped me cope with the torment of that statement for a while, but as I entered high school my world opened up to all kinds of other things to numb the pain. Anything I could get my hands on from ecstasy to bars to even literal painkillers. Vicodin and alcohol were my combination of choice for most of my formative years. All it took was a few pills and a couple beers to activate it and put me on Cloud 9 for the rest of the day.

I started stealing from my Mom to pay for everything, which only put further strain on our relationship. I’d take my aggressions out on my classmates. Stealing their lunch money and calling them babies when they started crying. If only they could see me now.

But eventually I had no more jewelry to steal, no more trinkets to pawn, and Mom learned how to hide her cash from me or keep it in the bank as best she could. Prescription drugs were expensive, especially on the streets. Luckily, there was a cheaper and easier to find alternative.

Lydia and I had been dating for over a year when I first tried Heroin. We met at a club I used to score Benzos from. We were both fresh out of highschool. Well, she actually graduated, I was fresh out of dropping out at 19. I don’t remember much from that night at Emose, but I do remember her. The way she swayed with the music and put all of her energy into everything she did. She lost it when the band Paramore started playing on the loudspeakers. Screaming every word to some song called ‘Misery Business’ like her life depended on her not missing a single note. I remember going up to her and instantly seeing that look in her eye. The look girls give with a hint of a smirk that tells you they find you attractive. She must have been drawn to my ‘bad boy’ persona, because I don’t think I had much more going for me that night.

But if she wanted a bad boy, she definitely wasn’t prepared to deal with the consequences. “Where the fuck were you?” she asked when I came through the door after my first Heroin binge. We had been living together for 3 months at that point, and I had effectively disappeared for 3 days. “I was worried SICK! Do you understand?? I had no idea where you were. You didn’t answer my calls, my texts, I thought you were DEAD!”

I was always drawn to the way she worried about me. It made me feel good, you know? She worried about me more than my mother did. She cared about me. Almost like a normal person should.

That didn’t stop the addictions though. If anything, it only exacerbated it. I could go out all night, putting anything into my mouth or my veins, and I’d have someone distraught over me when I got home.

Lydia stuck around through all of it, clinging on to the rare and sporadic times where I was actually a decent human being. Sure, I treated her like shit 98% of the time, but 2% of the time I made her feel special. If only because I needed her to lay off and make her feel better about giving me money to support my habits.

I do love her, though. She’s the only one to ever show me the unconditional love I so desperately needed my whole life. The love I never got from home.

Anyway, I think I’ve spilled enough of my guts today. Time to go spill my guts into my diaper.

Day 8

They let me out of my room today! They actually let me see the rest of the facility!

At first I thought they were just taking me down the hall for another bath. Instead, they let me crawl past that, turn the corner, and go down another set of rooms with strange noises coming from them.

We passed a courtyard with a play area, like a jungle gym. One you would see at a kid’s park or school. I obviously assumed it was for me to play in, but we strolled right by it. Perhaps I’d earn the privilege of going outdoors on another day.

Instead, we made our way further through the hall, and entered a large cafeteria. Or what appeared to be a cafeteria. It was a bit more infantile, with murals of bears and circus animals decorating the walls. The furniture was colorful and made of aerated plastic, about three times too small. But the biggest surprise was what the room was filled with: Adult Babies of all shapes and sizes. All men, mostly. But all dressed as baby girls. I’m not sure if it made me more or less anxious to know there were others here like me, and lots of them.

The guards escorting me apparently thought their job was done, exiting back the way we came and leaving me standing there awkwardly. There were hundreds of pairs of eyes on me from the ‘babies’ in the room. They must have sensed I was new.

I saw a line at the back of the room, so I made my way over there. It looked like a normal cafeteria line. Finally, I was going to get real food!

But when I got to the front I realized it was just giant trays of the stuff I’d already been eating for days. Pureed carrots, peas, prunes, bananas, etc.

“What you want, dear?” The lady behind the counter asked the diapered sissy in front of me.

The sissy pointed a shaky hand at the bananas and the butternut squash. The lady plopped a spoonful of each onto the tray and tossed it on the track.

“Fank you’s…” he said. Yea. He said it like that. Must have had a lisp or something.

“What you want?” the lady asked me. I shook out of my daze from the previous encounter and pointed to the mashed potatoes and applesauce.

“Thanks.” I said, and the lady blinked a bit. Like she was confused that I spoke so clearly or something.

I took my tray and turned around, trying to find a place to sit. Most of the chairs were either occupied, or a hand was pressed down as I approached to show they were taken.

“Joo can sit ova heyah if joo wahnnt” a voice called. I turned to see a group of sissy babies about my age circled around a table. There was an empty seat between them that I awkwardly fumbled into. It was a relief to have somewhere to sit, but it was strange to be surrounded by so many freaks with their eyes glued to me.

“Are joo new?” one of them asked, drool pooling around his chin.

I nodded, trying to eat my food in silence, but realizing I didn’t have any utensils to eat it with. I looked around the table, then back at the cafeteria line.

“Joo have to use your hands…” one of them said, as if reading my mind.

I sighed, looking down at the slop in front of me. There wasn’t going to be a clean way to do this. So I took my fingers and formed them into a scoop like shape, grabbing some mashed potatoes and bringing it to my mouth. I managed to get most of it in, but lots of it ran down the sides of my mouth. I swallowed what made it in, trying to remember the last time I had to chew my food. Then proceeded to attempt to lick the remnants from the sides of my lips.

“Here you go, little one.” A voice said behind me. Something blocked my vision for a second, then came down around my neck, tightening tightly around it. I looked down to see a rather large bib covering my onesie. The lady administering the bib was a nurse like Tina, she was strolling through the tables, helping out those that needed it. I glanced around the table and noticed the other sissies had a bib on too. But it was what was underneath the bibs that really caught my eye. Almost every one of them had a very pronounced bosom protruding beneath their outfits. I’m not sure if they were stuffed or what, but they certainly did look real. It reminded me about my constantly aching nipples. Was something in those shots going to give me boobs like that? Certainly not…right?

They all seemed to have a spacey sort of demeanor about them. Like they weren’t really all there. Was this some sort of loony bin they put me in? Did they know I was normal? Just because I have a drug addiction doesn’t mean I should be put with a bunch of crazies.

One of them couldn’t keep his thumb out of his mouth. Like having to take it out to scoop some food was torture for him. He even used his thumb to bring the food to his mouth, coating it in green mush and sucking it off with his eyes rolling in the back of his head.

Another one at the end of the table looked so brain dead he had his mouth hanging open, drool dripping down his chin. There was a nurse attending to him. Feeding him spoonfuls of mush. The ‘man’ hardly moved, staring off into space as a spoon of peas was put in his mouth. His jaw hung lax. It wasn’t until seconds later that he actually started ‘chewing’. Sending most of the mush back out on his chin, the nurse spooning it back in for him.

I was so captivated, I didn’t even notice a hand on my leg. It wasn’t until the hand squeezed my crotch that I flinched and shoved it away.

“Hey what the fuck??” I shouted.

All the eyes around the table went wide. Mouths gaped open. The one sucking his thumb actually pulled it out in surprise.

“Don’t say dat!!!” the one who just grabbed my crotch said. “They punish you! They punish you weeeal bad if they hear you!!

His voice was a panicked whisper. Like he was looking out for me even though he just groped me.

“I was checking to see if joo still caged.” he said after an awkward silence.

For some reason I felt bad, he seemed really innocent. But what kind of person just reaches between another man’s legs and grabs his soggy diaper??

“I am…” I said. Trying to shake off whatever just happened. Usually I would be livid, but they seemed to know something I didn’t, “Is there…a way to get it off?”

They all eyed each other.

“Therw is,” the one next to me said, “It just takes time.”

He was being vague, and I was too intrigued. “How long?? What do I have to do?? Tell me!!”

I wanted to shake him. Wanted to get it out of him. I felt an itch rising, the same one I used to get when I needed a fix.

“You have to…” he looked around, searching for the words, or the right words he could use, “suck pee pee.”

I remember my stomach plummeting at that point.

“I have to do what?” I asked.

“Suck pee pee.” he repeated. I looked at the others who nodded, the one with the thumb in his mouth pretended to give it a blowjob to emphasize the point.

“I’m…definitely not doing that.” I said.

They all shrugged. “That’s what we said.”

******

I just got back to the room. Tina came in to change my diaper. I don’t know what’s going on, but her tits are looking more and more captivating by the day. They always were great, but I can’t seem to unglue my eyes from them the whole time she’s wiping my caged cock.

She must have noticed me ogling. She smiled at one point, nodding down at her cleavage.

“Are you wanting to nurse, little one?”

I was confused by her question at first. My thoughts seem to be slower these days. I was thinking she was asking me for another nurse. But what she really intended was much more appealing.

Once I was feeling nice and cozy in a fresh diaper, she took me in her arms and laid me on her lap. She unbuttoned her uniform and popped out one of her perfect, perky tits. She smiled down at me as she lifted her boob and brought her nipple to my mouth. I looked up a little nervous, not sure this is what she intended, but she nodded reassuringly. So I latched on.

I figured it would just be a little sensual boob sucking, you know? A little nipple play. Maybe get her a little turned on so she would take my cage off and give me one of those amazing handjobs like she used to. But to my surprise, milk came out!

I’m not kidding. I almost sputtered when it filled my mouth on the first suckle. It had this sweet, almost tangy taste. Like coconut or cantaloupe. It was weird, but it tasted sooo much better than whatever they put in those stupid bottles. I laid there, suckling while she rubbed and patted my diaper and told me what a ‘good girl’ I was. I didn’t appreciate her use of pronouns, but her soothing voice and her arms around me made me feel sort of…safe? And protected. Like I was getting the motherly nurturing I never got as a child. I don’t know how to describe it. But needless to say, as weird as you might think it was, I enjoyed it.

She would rub the front of my diaper too. Making my dick scream inside its cage. I begged her to unlock me. To rub me without it on. To take the stupid diaper off. But she just smiled and shook her head like I was a silly toddler and pressed her boob back in my mouth to hush me.

After I had a belly full of her milk, I could barely move. She motioned for two guys to come in and they carefully lifted me into my crib. Tina gave me my blankie and I instantly drifted off to sleep. It was the best nap I’ve probably ever had in my life.

******

I dreamed about Tina. I dreamed about those tits. I dreamed about her comforting arms and words. With images of the other sissy babies floating in the background, dicks in their mouths, sucking and slurping them like they were bottles.

I woke up with a huge pain coming from my cage. Like my dick was trying to break through the cage in order to get hard, but it couldn’t. I’m tired of this dull, achey, discomfort.

I’m super horny. I feel like I'm constantly horny. I think I'm going to ask them to let me use the chair again. I don’t want to have to watch a bunch of dicks bouncing around, but I'll put up with it if it means I get to cum. Hopefully it doesn’t turn me into a mushy brained baby bimbo like the other freaks here…

Day 9

I spent the rest of yesterday strapped to that chair. At first, the rubber dick they had pumping in and out of my mouth was jarring. Especially after I learned what the other sissies had to do to get their cages off. Did they expect me to have to do the same?

But I quickly forgot about it once the vibrations turned on. Feeling that buzzing against the front of my diaper blocked almost everything else out. I barely even noticed all the images on the headset. All the women with censored boobs and pussies. All the dicks throbbing and spurting in full view. All the sissies getting taken from the front and the back. I barely even registered the hypnotic voice the whole time.

You’re gonna be a good sissy baby…

You love having things in your mouth….

You NEED things in your mouth…

Wittle sissies always need something to suck on…

I think I came in like 2 minutes. It’s still not the same, cumming with a forcefully limp dick pressing inside a cage, spewing a sticky load into my diaper. But it at least gave me some relief. But it was short lived. They asked me if I wanted to stop. But I shook my head ‘no’. The rubber dick still pumping back and forth inside my mouth.

They let me stay there for 3 hours. Strapped down to the chair, diaper full of my piss and at least 8 pathetic loads soaked into it.

I couldn’t get enough. Even after the 3 hours I still wanted more. What was keeping me so damn horny?

I wasn’t even repulsed by the images anymore. Just kind of numb to it all.

My legs were wobbly when they unstrapped me and let me stand. My diaper drooped as they led me over to my bed. They didn’t even change me. Just laid me down in my wet, sticky diaper to stew in for the night. I went to sleep with that hypnotic voice swimming through my dome the whole time.

Day 14

I’ve spent every day of this week in the chair. They don’t even have to strap me down any more. I’m grateful to sit in it. I can’t get enough. It feels so good and it helps ease my frustrations with my whole situation. It’s one one of my only sources of ‘entertainment’, so I need something to pass the time, you know?

I miss the chair when I’m not with it. I feel like there’s this void that I can’t fulfill when I’m not in it. My mouth constantly feels dry and empty without the rubber dick in my mouth. So I keep my pacifier in pretty regularly to soothe me. It makes me feel better, having something to suck on.

I’m getting these pains in my cheeks and jaw from constantly having my mouth producing suction. But I can’t help it. I always used to bite my fingernails, but whatever they painted them with has this nasty flavor. So a pacifier isn’t the worst thing…is it?

They’re letting me out of my room almost every day now. They tell me I’ve been a good girl, so I get rewarded with outside time. I get to go to the cafeteria and even play on the playground for almost 30 minutes!

The one that always sits next to me, James, the one that groped me, I watched him rub his own diaper beneath the table the other day. He kept looking around to make sure the nurses couldn’t see, but he was definitely giving himself a little treat. Instead of being disgusted, I found myself extremely envious of his situation. What I wouldn’t give to be uncaged and get to rub myself to orgasm any time I wanted. It only took him about 45 seconds to deposit what I supposed to be a sticky mess into his diaper.

In fact, just writing about it is getting me worked up. I’m gonna go ask for another chair treatment... Toodles!

Day 17

I wet my diaper today. I know, I know, I wet my diaper every day. But this time I didn’t even feel it. Didn’t even know I had to until I felt the warmth in my crotch from the soggy diaper. Why didn’t my brain tell me that I had a full bladder? It wasn’t like I just dribbled a little bit out. It was a full on pint of piss I let out, I can tell by how much the diaper’s drooping. Why can’t I sense the urge to pee anymore? Is it those shots? Is it something else they’ve been feeding me? What is happening to me??

Day 19

I threw a fit today. A big fit. I don’t know, I guess I was just having one of those days. They came in as I was throwing stuff. Pulling things off the wall. Ripping off my diapers and smearing my own shit on the walls.

The big bouncer guys came in and grabbed me, pinned me like I was nothing. Tina just watched, arms crossed, smirking a bit, as if this was no different than any other day. Like she expected it. She watched as they put me in a strait jacket. Screaming and writhing. They took a pacifier out. Except it wasn’t a normal pacifier. It was about 4 inches long and shaped like a penis. It also had a belt around it. They shoved the rubber dick into my mouth and cinched it tight, doing the same to my arms in the strait jacket. I felt oddly calmer with the pacifier in.

Tina told me I needed a time out. They put me in my crib, binding my kicking feet with the straps. A blindfold was put over my eyes. The last thing I saw was Tina smiling as she took out another diaper. After the diaper and a shot was administered, something was slipped over my ears. It dampened all the sound around me. Then a noise clicked on. That hypnotic audio, and before I knew it, I was drifting off in a trance.

Day 20

I feel weird and groggy today. Being deprived of all my senses other than hearing for an extended period like that has left me woozy. My jaw hurts from the penis shaped paci I was sucking on all day, but I was reluctant to give it up when they came in and unstrapped me. Tina smiled and let me keep it.

I don’t like it cause it’s shaped like a penis. It’s definitely not that. I like it because it goes further back in my mouth than a standard pacifier does. Makes my mouth feel more full, which helps with my cravings for…you know…drugs…I guess…

“Do you want something…bigger, for your mouth?” she asked, standing next to the bouncer. He was a large black man with muscles that had extra muscles on top of them. Tina reached between the man’s legs and stroked the outline in his pants. It was one of the biggest bulges I've ever seen.

I didn’t know what to say, just sat there wide-eyed.

She dropped his pants to give me the full view, and it was even bigger than the outline portrayed. Tina stroked it to full mast, asking me all these dirty questions.

“Do you want it in your mouth, little one?”

“Do you want to suck it until it makes creamies?”

“If you’re a good girl and get it to spurt, I'll unlock your cage…”

The thought of having my cage unlocked was honestly enticing, but the thought of having that python in my mouth definitely wasn’t.

After some hesitancy, I shook my head back and forth.

“Ohhh, well that’s okay, I'm sure you’ll come around eventually…”

She emphasized that word ‘sure’, as she left. Like there wasn’t a doubt in her mind.

Well, she can suck it herself for all I care. I’m not going anywhere near that dick or anyone else’s. If they think all this weird hypno voodoo shit is going to work on me, they got another thing coming.

But I still can’t understand why there’s all this drool on my chin after seeing that big veiny cock…