Honey, I’m Home

Most men hate being bombarded by their wife as soon as they walk through the door. Asked to help with the laundry, help clean, or for something that needs fixing. But I think they would take that any day over what Toby has to endure.

“Hi, honeyyy!” Laura calls as he walks in. She doesn’t even give him a hug, just holds out her hand for him to kiss as if she were a princess.

“How was your day?” She asks after he plants his lips over her perfectly manicured nails. She doesn’t even wait for an answer, though. lnstead, she just snaps her fingers and points to the floor. “Pants down. Let's check and see how your diaper held up at work!”

Toby sighs begrudgingly but knows to obey. He doesn’t want his day to get any worse by having to go to bed early with a blistering red bottom. He clasps his belt and buttons, dropping his pants to the floor. He lifts his shirt and covers his face in shame as he exposes the big baby diaper.

“Hmm…I see the tapes are still in tact, so that's good!” Laura says, leaning in for a closer inspection. “It means you weren’t trying to be a naughty boy trying to take your diaper off again without permission! I bet you were rather productive without all those frequent bathroom breaks!”

Toby twinged. She was right. He hadn’t had to leave his desk all day. He wondered if is coworkers noticed, or did they notice the loud crinkling every time he shifted in his chair?

“Hmm…pretty plump.” She said, gripping his sodden crotch. “Do I need to start coming in on your lunch break to change your diaper? Or should I get your cute secretary to do it?”

She laughed to herself. At this point, Toby had no idea if she was joking anymore. He wouldn’t be surprised if she did get Stephanie to change his diapers. The thought actually gave him a tingling downstairs.

“Let's check for stickies,” Laura said, poking a finger into the front of his diaper so she could peer inside. “Hmm…some leakage, but nothing too drastic. I bet it's hard to have cum cums in that itty bitty cage, isn’t it?!”

She knew damn well it was. Ever since she had him fitted for it, she’d been teasing him nonstop. The best day he’d had in a while was when she rewarded him for working overtime by attaching her Hitachi to a teddy bear and letting him hump it. Apparently her friends thought that video was hilarious.

“Do you need to make poo poo's?” She asked as seriously as she could in her Mommy voice. “I know your after-work ritual was to sit on the potty for damn near an hour after you got home. But now you can just squat right here in the living room and make a pushy while Mommy keeps an eye on you. Isn’t that wonderful??”

Toby didn’t say anything, just grumbled as he dropped down on his haunches. It used to be one of the most relaxing parts of his day: getting to go into the bathroom, shut the door away from everyone, and do his business in private.

Now, he had to squat in front of his smiling wife, who would give patronizing encouragement while he defecated all over himself. Sometimes she even filmed it if he made a particularly scrunchy face.

“All done?” She asked after Toby voided his bowels in a matter of seconds.

“Yes Mommy…” Toby nodded with a purple face. He stood back up, feeling the warm filth droop and spread.

“Stinky boy!” She giggled, pinching her nose and his still flushed cheeks, “You must be hungry. Let me go get you a bottle!”

It used to be she would bring him a bottle of beer. Now? It was an actual baby bottle full of some sort of formula that was tasting weirder and weirder by the day.

“Let’s get you changed out of those big boy clothes and into something more appropriate.” She said after placing the nipple into his mouth. Once she was satisfied he was suckling properly and guzzling down the pearlish mixture, she let him hold the bottle on his own. “You’re gonna wear the new tutu i got you!" she explained, "Calvin says he wants to see you dance around like a pwetty pampered pwincess! Come along, cucky!”

And so she dragged him to his new room. The nursery that she made him build. Had he have just come home from work that day he might not be in this mess. He probably wouldn’t have met that girl at happy hour, had a few too many drinks, and made some really poor decisions. Laura was understanding though, she knew she could fix any man, even if it meant treating them like the wittle baby they are.