The Weight of Love 10

(Episode 5) Chapter 10

Quotes:

"I liked it when you fed me." - Autumn

"I could tell." - Mike

"Why was that so hot?" - Autumn

Notes:

Just another one of those hot, late summer nights during a pandemic....

-This was a very pivotal episode and shows the spark that ignites a major shift in Autumn's mindset, and her attitude towards food and her body.

-Autumn is a little disgusted with herself, disliking what she's done to her figure and on top of that, depriving herself of calories. There is a big part of her that feels very sensual and feminine with the extra curves, but she keeps that part suppressed due to the way she was raised (mom), the era she grew up in, society etc...also the shame associated with sex

-When she gets in bed with Mike she can feel the hunger pangs in her empty stomach. She is very attracted to Mike and she feels starved, not only of food, but of affection and physical touch. She's not stupid, it's obvious that her boyfriend worships her body, and maybe even more so than before now that she's softer, heavier, maybe even a little bit chunky....Why was she feeling bad about herself again?

-Was she afraid of being loved, afraid of "getting close to people" like she said in chapter 3? Her body ached to be loved. If she was the queen and the goddess she thought she was on her good days, then why not let herself be worshiped by the ridiculously horny man next laying to her, a man that she was falling deeper in love with by the day, and with the virus stricken world that seemed to be crumbling all around them, there was perhaps an extra yearning for comfort and pleasure...

-Why not give into those natural warm and sensual sexy feelings that extra pounds and curves had given her. She couldn't deny them any longer...not with the way his hands and lips felt on her belly and thighs...

-'Chunky' turns out to be a trigger word for Autumn. In her mind 'chunky' is a cute word used to describe a girl that gained a lot of weight...more than 'curvy' or 'chubby'....for her to be called 'chunky' makes her feel deliciously naughty and sexy if used in the right way at the right time....

Music:

The Dam at Otter Creek (Live, 1994)

It's Torn (Leonard Cohen, 2019)

Sweet Darlin' (Zooey Deschanel, 2008)