Shiloh: 003

… I almost died once. Yes, I’m making this about me, why are you acting surprised (unless you’re new in which case, you get a pass the first few times – I understand it’s like a coping mechanism). Tell me your stories in comments!

Last year, my family went on our first vacation in ages - St. Lucia in the Caribbean. Now, I’m not complaining, but it’s worth mentioning – my family does not relax ever. You’ll be hard pressed to find “lay on a beach” or “take a nap” on our itineraries (yes, itineraries) – more like “meet a shady van in a grapefruit grove which will take you to a cave” or “put all your belongings on a llama and follow it up a cliff.” Those are not jokes by the way.

We had three (scuba) dives planned. It happened during the second. I remember hearing people talk about vertigo before this trip and thinking “what, so you were a bit dizzy?” It’s not like that. All I remember is having this sense that I had been enveloped by warm, blurry, darkness even though I could still see. Suddenly I didn’t know which way was up. My limbs felt heavy - I stopped kicking. A faint panic fluttered in my chest as the regulator slipped out of my mouth and numbly I thought “this is how you die.” And in that moment, I was okay with it.

The next thing I remember is someone shaking my shoulder. I snapped out of it and grabbed the regulator out of the water in front of me, putting it back into my mouth to breathe. The guide asked me with a hand signal if I was ok. I mimicked the signal back.

It’s weird. No one else seemed to notice that it happened. I’ve never mentioned it to my family. I feel like there are gaps in my understanding of what happened. I only remember drifting but when I came to, I was about twenty feet away from the other divers and much much lower. I guess it’s one of those things – like sleep paralysis – that leave you believing, even when you know better, that something inexplicable happened. Something unworldly.

*shrug*
- [RED]