Perfectionism

Ha! Yeah, thanks for sharing your experiences. Perfectionism is heart-breaking.

Psychology In Seattle

Thanks for talking about this! It is a relief to hear something, which I can relate to. It makes me feel less crazy, that I’m not making up this problem, that it’s actually real and valid. Also, your voice is soothing and easy to understand, so listening ends up being really relaxing. Currently I‘m trying to concentrate on friendships, which don‘t require me to be successful and it definitely helps. I tend to worry that if I am not as perfect as possible, then people will distance themselves from me. In the end I am afraid to do anything, unless I know exactly how it works or unless nobody is watching me. For instance, I love cooking, but only when I‘m alone. This again leads to me distancing myself from others. Once in a while I have the thought “Geez, aren‘t I trying a bit too hard?“. But at the same time, I spend a lot of time “doing nothing“, because I am so afraid to mess up. And then I think ”Obviously, the opposite is the case. I‘m not trying hard enough“. After listening to this podcast, I’m less doubtful. It should be easier to self-improve from now on. My priority won’t be to eradicate all mistakes from my life anymore and instead I will try to embrace them. … I can already see how this won’t be easy. Also, you asked for an anecdote. This happened when I was maybe 14 years old. In geography class we had the homework to draw a certain famous river. I spent all night drawing, but couldn’t finish it, because I tried to fill in all of the little details of the map. I couldn’t even imagine drawing in a more simple way, because then it wouldn’t be this exact river anymore. In the end I couldn’t turn in my homework in time, felt guilty about it and was sleep deprived to boost. Perfectionism feels all sorts of emotionally draining. Another time the teacher promised to read our stories out loud in [native language] class and I happily wrote one. However I might as well not have. The teacher decided against reading my story, because it was too long. (… Now, hopefully this message isn’t too long.)

AutumnCzun

Ha! Now YOU are in MY head!

Psychology In Seattle

Oh, MAN. This episode should have been titled, "Here's what it's like to live in Emily's head." I have struggled with perfectionism for a long time. It used to get in my way a lot more than it does now. I was talking to someone about this episode last night, and I realized I wouldn't want to eradicate this trait from my personality, even though it sucks. I've accomplished a lot so far in my life, though sometimes my perfectionism won't let me enjoy that, and my accomplishments have a lot to do with my high standards for myself and my attention to detail. The problem with perfectionism comes when I lose my perspective and focus on the parts I don't like rather than the things that are working. Even the things I don't like aren't really that bad.