Dependent Personality Disorder - (Chapter 1)

Hello Dr.Kirk I hope you are doing well I am 56 years old men that has medical degree.As I remember until age 26 year that I started my profisional job I haven't experienced anxiety.I was A student all of my education couses especially until the end of my high school,and also in the university I was one of the most knowledgeable student .I was very independent,I started job at age of 17 and after starting university I managed my income by myself. I was very happy I loved my parents,I had lots of friends I was very socialized,I loved by everybody and enjoyed visiting my relatives, especially my uncles aunts and everybody around us.I never felt tired or exhausted,I played volleyball,Soccer, tennis table, running,and bodybuilding.I was in volleyball and track and field team of university.I had great sense of humor no body made me anxious and must of the time I bullied others with my sense of humor.I wasn't clingy to anybody and made my decision all the time by myself even in first attempt I was accepted in bachelor of physiotherapy and against severe pressure of my parents I refused to go and in the second year accepted in medical school.But all the time my parents has disagreements about spending money especially my dad supported his extended family because his dad died at young age.All the time my mother complaint about my dad and my dad complaint about my mom and I was advisor for them because I didn't see situation on that way and I felt both of them has misunderstanding.Deep in my heart I was proud of my dad and I enjoyed the life.My mother was super supportive of me for this reason my younger and older brothers have jealous of me and each of them try to pour their feeling toward me but I felt nothing and all the time I ignored them.I was in the detail of economic condition of my family and I felt we are poor,even my dad has big house,a big farm and car.but spend lots of money in the farm.He quit his job at age of 48 and didn't work after that .He manage our finance with downsizing the home borrowing money from others,and relying on us when we will graduate from university.I went to medical school only to make huge money even I hate it I felt lots of responsibility to support my family.I had one girlfriend since age of 23until 26 only for sex although I didn't love her because I wasn't able to marry and I want to have a girlfriend that I loved when I am able to marry Long story short when I started my job I wanted to be an orttoped.For this reason I did surgery as well in my practice, especially circumcision which made me anxious,and I sent almost all my income to my family.After 3years I went to deep depression and I thought if I marry I will be cured ,but after one year I realized that I will not be cured and bagged my father in law to get divorce of his daughter from me to save her.But he refused and try to support me.During 17years after that I was a complete definition of dependent personality disorder first hoped to be cured and then because of my children.I attempted 7suicides from the guilt and shame of being an incompetent father and a husband.I did 12years of psychotherapy and taking all medications in the world to get rid of depression but still I am dependent depressed and incompetent.Would you please tell me that I was a dependent personality person at the first place or became later due to depression.Secondly during these years I bagged my wife thousands times to leave me before and after having kids to save herself and my kids from me but she refused.Now I had two daughters with anxiety and depression I talked a lot but please would you guide me do I have DPD and which type or is there other possibilities.By the way now I am living in Canada and unemployed for 7years.

Suppressed anger this just seems so much Brandon!

Lyndon Bailey