Today I had quit my job, and I need to speak about burnout.

There is a reason for why I was not delivering new mods, my job, or ex-job was consuming me at every last brain cell I still had, I was finishing my days so tired, so destroyed, that I just can't work on the mods anymore, or even anything else, there is days that I finish my working hours and just go to the bed. I was working for the last 10 years on this job, no vacations, no moments to relax, extreme stress environment, constant overtime and 2020 was not making it easier.

Create those mods, the Grada's Paradise, was a way to quit the world, had my mind out of the worst thoughts. But I had reached a level of exhaustion so big, that not even continue with this project I could anymore as you recently you had noticed.

I always had to think that thing of depression would not catch me, but my job shows me the contrary, the burnout is real and a serious problem, seeing everyone that stopped to support me here on Patreon was a thing that helps me to open my eyes.

I was thinking, why people are stoping to support me?

Because I am not delivering.

Why I am not delivering?

Because I am too tired to delivery.

That makes me finally see the problem, the problem was not the Monster Hunter or the Community, or even myself or anything else, I look to my inner and to see what was happening with my life. How terrible my job was been over the years to me and my future.

We need money to live, yeah, but we need our sanity too. Had born in a poor country not make things easier, since you need to accept worse jobs to survive.

I gather the last strength I had and quit my job, I know I will have a dark time already waiting to me, 2020 was not been an easy year, and I need to provide to my family, I will start to do freelance jobs, but only after I rest a bit. For now, I will gonna dedicate myself to this project still since it was already an escape door to me and I still need to clear my mind, and now I need it much more than yesterday, or ever!

So, if you are passing for the same, organize your thinking, look to your life, no one can make you walk, you need to make the first step, there is always a way to continue, don't give it up. I will definitely not ever again let this burnout reach me, I need to remove the terrible thinking that was passing through my head. I need to start again. Thank you so much for all your support.

Soon new armors will come along!

And good hunting to all!

Elton "Gradash" Goulart