Percentiles: Chapter 1

Percentiles is a $5-level series, updated weekly on orrinotica’s Patreon site.

Master Synopsis: Two friends submit to a series of evaluations that always seem to revolve around means and percentiles, and color-coded pills. Oddly, the two of these budding young men begin to react, in different ways, to the medication. A true test of their friendship occurs in the midst of confusing times.

Chapter 1: Preliminary Exams

“Welcome to Dr. Fry’s office, do you have an appointment?” The nice lady asked two young men in their early 20’s.

“We’re here for the study,” Adam told her, standing alongside Paul, his roommate and friend of many years.

“Oh yes, please have a seat and read these knowledge forms, and fill out the yellow sheet. The doctor will be with you momentarily.”

With that, Adam and Paul took their seat next to one another. They both became aware of the outdated style of the décor almost immediately. The carpet dated back to the 70’s.

“Why’re we doing this again?” Paul joked.

“Because we’re getting paid, remember?” Adam said.

“$500 each, right? We’d better!” Paul joked, gritting his teeth.

“Just sign it Paul, jeez!” Adam hushed, directing his attention to the brochure now.

Adam and Paul each read their knowledge statements. Of key interest was a particular paragraph:

…. …. [Participation in this study will involve recording intimate details about your body, all of which will remain confidential. Any medication prescribed by the doctor must be taken per his instruction. Any side effects are non-life-threatening, and rare, however some can be permanent. By participating in this study you accept these risks.] …. …. 

Both men shrugged their shoulders and signed on the dotted line. 

Onto the yellow sheet now, both men began filling out the fields. Adam went first…

NAME: Adam Roberts

AGE: 24

HEIGHT: 5’10

WEIGHT: 150

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown

“That was some basic information, boring,” Adam thought.

Paul went next:

NAME: Paul Samson

AGE: 24

HEIGHT: 5’9

WEIGHT: 145

HAIR COLOR: Light brown

“This is so stupid.” 

“Alright, let’s go up,” Paul and Adam handed the piles of forms over to the secretary, who shoved them in her drawer almost immediately without looking at them.

Just as the two motioned back toward their chairs Dr. Fry made an appearance at the front of the room. 

“Gentleman, right this way.”

The two guessed his age to be no older than 35. He wore a long, white doctor’s coat along with the standard stethoscope around his neck. He led Adam and Paul down a bland hallway, passing a few patient exam rooms along the way. Eventually they reached a staircase that led down to one large room with exam tables separated by curtains and no more.

“Adam, this way. Have a seat over here.”

“Paul, you sit over there.” 

Each became separated by a curtain with their own bed. 

With that, Dr. Fry tended to Adam first.

…

Dr. Fry began taking various measurements and readings from Adam’s body, of which he’d ordered ‘stripped down to nothing except boxers.’ Adam however thought nothing out of the ordinary as the doctor performed his exam. 

“Your stats check out…”

“…Let’s go over your sexual health.”

Adam swallowed hard.

“Are you sexually active?”

“I am.”

“Do you masturbate often?”

Adam hesitated.

“Like, four times a week.” 

“I see. Adam I’m going to take some measurements of your penis now.”

Adam would have no time to react before he found himself being manhandled by the doctor. 

“4 inches flaccid,” 

“4 inches…,” Dr. Fry muttered as if trying to read a chart of his.

“In the 60-percentile flaccid,” Dr. Fry spoke to himself, then returned to massaging Adam’s member as it grew more.

“6.55-inches, erect,” he again recorded onto his chart. 

“Very good Adam… 60-percentile erect size among the population your age.”

Adam had no idea what to say but Dr. Fry kept saying things…

“Blue pill candidate—,” Dr. Fry whispered to himself. 

“Adam, you are slightly above average in sexual prowess. How do you feel?” 

Outwardly, Adam had a puzzled look on his face. Indeed, Adam was confused. “Uh, I feel fine,” he said.

“A man of your ability I’d think would be proud.”

“Oh, well I’m just normal so yeah…”

The doctor reached into his pocket and wrote a prescription.

“I’ll need to examine your friend Paul now. It’s important not to discuss these appointments with him, or anybody else. The results of this study depend on your discretion.” 

“And you will not get paid if you discuss these exams.”

“Got it, Doc. I won’t say a thing, not even to Paul!”

* * *

“Hello Paul, thank you for waiting. Please take your clothes off, down to your underwear. I’ll be performing your preliminary exam now.”

Like clockwork, Paul endured the same type exam as Adam. Everything was the same, even the question about masturbation, to which Paul replied he’d averaged the same four times per week.

And like Adam, Paul was startled to feel Dr. Fry manhandle his goods... 

“3.45-inches flaccid…”

Dr. Fry added, “43-perecentile among peers.”

Paul didn’t understand any of it, but found himself gaining one strong erection within Dr. Fry’s hand. 

“5.70-inches fully erect.” 

“Paul, you are in the 42-percentile for erect penis size.”

“Uh, ok?” Paul was confused.

Dr. Fry reiterated, “Almost 60-percent of guys have a larger penis than you.” 

“Oh,” Paul seemed put off by the way the doctor said that.

“Paul, it’s normal to feel less confident after hearing that, but no worry.” 

“Um, alright.”

Dr. Fry, like with Adam, wrote Paul a prescription to be filled at the pharmacy. Dr. Fry also stressed the importance of secrecy, for the study’s sake. 

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