Chapter 71: The Logical Approach to an Irrational Hazard

Disclaimer: Star Wars and all of it's Intellectual Properties is owned by George Lucas and Walt Disney, This fictional work and all of it's original characters are however mine.

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Nick-01 Operational Log: Objective – Disposal of Corrupted Kyber Crystal

Initializing mission parameters.
Processing directive: Retrieve and dispose of hazardous material.
Primary handlers: Skew-01 and Skew-02.
Support units: Nick-01 (self) and Nick-02.
Supervising meatbags: Creator Jake’s organic associates, currently located in the ‘security office.’

Mission parameters are acceptable. Proceeding with execution.

Skew-01 and Skew-02 stand in designated formation outside the disposal chamber entry point, each unit positioned with optimal efficiency. Skew-01 is tasked with retrieval, while Skew-02 provides containment assistance. The assigned storage units are present—one smaller ray-shielded container for immediate containment, and one larger ray-shielded container for secondary isolation.

Status: All variables accounted for. Reporting readiness.

I establish a comm link with Creator Jake.

Nick-01: “Creator, retrieval units are in position. Awaiting initiation of door access.”

Creator Jake: “Copy that. Lowering the ‘dumbly named machine’—confusion: That is the actual name?—and opening the chamber doors now.”

Designation: Dumbly Named Machine—an inefficient and subjective descriptor, yet one consistently used by Creator Jake. I will log this name for reference despite its lack of technical clarity.

The control station processes the command.

Alert: Facility alarms activated.

Auditory sensors register the blaring of station-wide alerts. An additional sound is detected through comm channels—grunts, vocal strain. Analysis suggests minor physiological distress from organic units, likely a response to the sudden exposure to the corrupted kyber crystal’s aura.

Noted. Adjusting operational efficiency to compensate for meatbag limitations.

The disposal chamber doors retract, revealing interior conditions. Environmental analysis:

• High ambient energy signatures.

• Localized instability detected in the kyber crystal.

• Identified object: Oversized droid—similar structural composition to previous hostile unit. Potential threat detected.

Skew-01 proceeds with caution, the smaller ray-shielded container held securely in its grasp.

Meatbag Davik (via comms): “Uh, hey, tin can—maybe don’t jostle that thing too much? It’s already got cracks in it, and I’d really rather not get blown to hell today.”

A pointless statement—Creator Jake does not build incompetent units. Of course Skew-01 is handling it with precision. However, acknowledging organic anxiety may increase cooperation efficiency.

Nick-01: “Affirmative, Meatbag Davik. Mission protocol dictates minimal kinetic force application. Probability of catastrophic detonation remains within acceptable risk parameters.”

Meatbag Davik (via comms): “…That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

Ignoring further irrelevant commentary.

Skew-01 carefully approaches the kyber crystal, manipulator servos adjusting for maximum stability. Optical sensors analyze the fractures in the crystal’s surface—instability present but containment remains viable. Proceeding with retrieval.

Contact.

The moment Skew-01 lifts the crystal, sensor readings spike. Energy fluctuations intensify—non-lethal exposure for droid units, but meatbag physiology would be adversely affected with prolonged interaction. Noted. Expedited extraction required.

Skew-01 secures the crystal inside the smaller ray-shielded container. Locking mechanism engaged. Ray shielding activated.

Containment Level One: Secured.

Skew-02 advances, presenting the larger ray-shielded container. Skew-01 deposits the sealed unit inside. Secondary containment engaged. Shielding active.

Containment Level Two: Secured.

Mission parameters met. Hazardous material secured. Initiating transport to nearest airlock.

Nick-02 and I reposition to form an escort perimeter around Skew-01 and Skew-02.

• Nick units at the front of formation.

• Skew units in central position, cargo protected.

• Optimal defensive efficiency achieved.

I relay status update to Creator Jake.

Nick-01: “Creator, primary objective complete. Initiating transit to disposal location.”

Creator Jake (via comms): “Good work. Keep that thing secured—last thing we need is for it to freak out and start breaking stuff.”

Acknowledged. Maintaining optimal security protocols.

Current status: Uninterrupted mission execution.

• No hostiles encountered.

• No automated defenses activated.

• No interference detected.

Processing probability matrices…

Conclusion: Unusual.

Typically, operations of this nature involve opposition—enemy units, environmental hazards, or external variables requiring adaptive response. Yet thus far, resistance has been nonexistent.

This does not align with established mission patterns.

Hypothesis: Either the station’s defenses have been deliberately disabled… or an unidentified force is observing without interference. Or Creator Jake has already successfully conquered this station

Probability of unforeseen complications: High.

Adjusting operational protocols accordingly.

Directive: Complete mission as ordered, but maintain heightened awareness for anomalies.

Prioritizing execution of corrupted kyber crystal disposal. Further analysis of station irregularities will be logged post-mission completion.

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Nick-01 Operational Log: Phase – Disposal Execution

Mission parameters update:

• Primary directive: Secure and dispose of hazardous material.

• Status: Cargo remains stable within ray-shielded containment.

• Escalation factors: Probability of unforeseen complications remains within anticipated parameters.

• Organic oversight: Redundant.

Incoming transmission detected. Processing…

Meatbag Mira (via comms): “Nick-01, you and 02 remember the procedures, right? Just follow the steps exactly and don’t deviate.”

Meatbag Kado (via comms): “Yeah, last thing we need is you two going off-script with that thing. Stick to the plan.”

Unnecessary reminder. Our memory banks are constructed with Creator Jake’s superior engineering—unlike inefficient organic brains, our retention capabilities do not degrade.

Response:

Nick-01: “Affirmative, meatbags. Memory capacity and procedural adherence remain optimal. Your vocal emissions are unnecessary.”

We advance toward the designated airlock ahead of the Skew units, who are proceeding with heightened caution. Expected. Organic-instilled cautionary measures are excessive but occasionally warranted.

Contacting security office.

Nick-01: “Security office, Nick-01 and Nick-02 at designated airlock. Requesting airlock opening preparations upon arrival of containment unit.”

Meatbag Davik (via comms): “Yeah, yeah, we’re on it. Just… be careful with that thing. Feels like it’s waiting for an excuse to explode.”

Nick-01: “Acknowledged. Probability of spontaneous detonation remains within a 7.93% margin.”

Meatbag Davik (via comms): “Again, not reassuring.”

Ignoring further organic anxiety transmissions.

Upon receipt of clearance, we observe Skew-01 and Skew-02 arriving with the secured kyber crystal containment unit. The airlock warning system initiates its auditory emissions—unnecessary but standard protocol.

Status update:

• Airlock depressurization sequence initiated.

• Artificial gravity disengaged.

• Outer airlock doors cycling open.

Skew-01 and Skew-02 activate magnetic clamps, securing themselves to the airlock interior to prevent unintended drift.

Simultaneously, Nick-02 and I engage prototype jetpacks—Creator Jake’s experimental propulsion systems, optimized for zero-g maneuverability. Initial thruster calibration successful.

Final check: All systems optimal. Proceeding with mission execution.

As the airlock doors fully retract, Nick-02 and I exit in synchronized propulsion, maintaining trajectory with the secured container holding the corrupted kyber crystal.

Adjusting flight path. Primary mission consideration:

• Locate clear zone—an open section of space devoid of excessive derelict debris to maximize visual clarity for post-destruction analysis.

• Ensure distance from station—mitigate risk of secondary impact in the unlikely event of uncontrolled detonation.

We traverse the void efficiently, optical sensors analyzing trajectory. Identified optimal destruction zone—sector approximately 1.78 kilometers from the station’s external perimeter, minimal obstructions.

Nick-02 and I decelerate upon arrival.

Nick-02: “Target location optimal. Standing by for execution sequence.”

Nick-01: “Affirmative. Preparing containment detachment procedure.”

Initiating final disposal phase.

Step One: Primary Containment Release

Nick-02 and I stabilize into designated position. The outer ray-shielded container is detached from our grasp, but remains within controlled hover due to inertia and minor jetpack thrust adjustments.

Nick-02: “Outer containment free. Preparing for inner unit separation.”

Nick-01: “Proceeding with progressive detachment.”

Step Two: Inner Containment Disengagement

Using precision servo manipulation, Nick-02 and I unlock the primary containment, revealing the smaller ray-shielded container within.

At this stage, sensor readings spike.

• Localized energy fluctuations detected.

• Corrupted kyber crystal exhibiting increased instability.

• Potential reaction window reduced—proceeding with expedited destruction.

Nick-01: “Observing increased volatile energy output. Organic anxiety may have been partially justified.”

Nick-02: “Noted. Accelerating execution protocol.”

Step Three: Target Release & Firing Position

The inner ray-shielded container is fully released from Nick-02’s grasp, allowing it to drift freely within the designated destruction zone.

Both units reposition—aligning trajectory vectors and preparing integrated blaster weaponry.

Nick-01: “Target locked. Engaging synchronized fire sequence.”

Nick-02: “Executing.”

Step Four: Blaster Discharge

Nick-02 and I fire in tandem, coordinating directed blaster bolts into the exposed containment unit.

• First impact: Outer container casing compromised.

• Second impact: Secondary shielding destabilized.

• Third impact: Inner layer fractures.

• Final impact: Kyber crystal fully exposed to direct energy discharge.

Upon final impact, corrupted kyber crystal enters unstable energy collapse—immediate result:

• Localized explosion triggered.

• Energy wave emission detected.

• Detonation contained within anticipated radius.

• Probability of residual hazardous fragments: Negligible.

Visual confirmation: Target destroyed.

Nick-02 and I hold position momentarily, conducting full-spectrum scans.

Nick-02: “Analysis complete. No residual energy signatures detected.”

Nick-01: “Confirmed. Corrupted kyber crystal successfully neutralized.”

Opening transmission to Creator Jake and overseeing meatbags.

Nick-01: “Mission complete. Target neutralized. Requesting return clearance.”

Creator Jake (via comms): “Finally! I swear if that thing had caused some weird space horror nonsense, I would’ve made you both scan the whole system.”

Meatbag Mira (via comms): “Alright, alright, just get back inside. You’re making me nervous out there.”

Nick-01: “Statement: Organic anxiety levels remain statistically high despite optimal execution of mission parameters.”

Meatbag Davik (via comms): “Just shut up and get back here, droid.”

Returning to station.

Objective met.
Mission success.
Organics still illogical.

Nick-01, signing off.

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I was busy scanning and prodding the systems of the oversized hunk of metal in front of me, still internally debating whether or not it was indeed the legendary Stupidly Humongous Interceptor Tank—a name that, the more I thought about it, the more it offended me on multiple levels.

First off, it was not a tank. Not in the military sense, not in the storage sense, and not in any sensible definition of the word. Second, was ‘tank’ just thrown in there to complete the acronym? Did the original creators just slap the letters together and call it a day? And was this entire crew just okay with it because the resulting word, s.h.i.t., had no slang meaning here?

I inhaled deeply, forcing myself to stop the internal rant before I spiraled further into an abyss of unnecessary irritation.

And then, without looking up from her work, Rina cut right through me like a vibroblade through bantha butter.

Rina: “You done with your inner monologue?”

I blinked. "What?"

Rina: Smirking "Your face kept changing. Annoyance, confusion, dismissal—repeat. You’re ranting about something again, aren’t you?"

I hesitated. Busted. Playing dumb was a lost cause at this point, so I just owned up to it. “I was obsessing over the dumbly named machine.”

She hummed knowingly and, still smug, reminded me that no one was forcing me to keep the name.

And that? That left me completely stunned.

I had been so caught up in how stupid the name was that I hadn’t even thought about the obvious solution—I could just rename it.

New task added to mental log: Come up with a better name.

With that crisis resolved, we got back to work. While Rina and I scanned and prodded the machine’s internals, I was also receiving updates from Nick-01 about the corrupted kyber crystal’s disposal efforts.

At the same time, my own deep-dive into the machine’s systems was finally giving me some answers. This thing? It wasn’t a tank. Obviously. Instead, it was a giant grav machine powered by yet another kyber crystal core.

Kyber crystal detected: Blue. Status: Stable. Risk factor: Low.

A blue kyber crystal. Thank the Force.

If it had been another red one, I’d be dealing with another unstable mess on top of everything else. But this one was actually intact, functioning, and… giving me ideas.

The machine wasn’t quite an artificial gravity well generator—not like the ones I remembered from Star Destroyers back in the old shows from my time on Earth—but it was still based on gravity manipulation technology.

And that got me thinking.

A kyber crystal-powered gravity control system meant that, unlike regular tech, it wouldn’t be something a Jedi or a Sith could just handwave out of existence with the Force.

I couldn’t help but wonder: Could I implement something like this in my own designs?

Problem was, kyber crystals weren’t exactly easy to come by. Sure, I could probably modify the tech to work with an alternative power source, but if I could get my hands on more kyber crystals, there was a lot I could do with that.

I added it to my ‘maybe implement but not necessary’ pile.

I was still considering potential applications when my train of thought was cut off by Nick-01’s report over the comms.

Nick-01: "Mission complete. Target neutralized. Requesting return clearance."

I relayed the news to Rina, and I could see the immediate shift in her posture—the tension she had been holding onto finally easing up. She didn’t say anything, just kept working, but the relief was obvious.

A moment later, Kado’s voice came over the comms.

Kado: "Rina, Jake—we’re on our way."

And from the tone of his voice, he was just as relieved as Rina was.

Good. That meant one less problem to worry about.

Now, back to renaming this dumbly named machine.