CONTENT WARNING: MYSOGINY "What dating advice were you given, as a kid?"
Added 2022-09-10 19:44:35 +0000 UTCI spent a lot of my childhood either bullied by girls, watching the girls in my family abuse their partners, or having my dad straight just tell me girls are nasty vile creatures, only good for one thing.
I sometimes wonder how I ended up not hating women completely, and to this day is a thing that I look inward to find out.
I bring it down to, despite seeing so much evil and nastiness in my childhood, I always had a close group of friends, some of whom were girls, and feminists, who showed me the struggles that girls go through too and show me that there is so much to enjoy in the company of women, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally and, in every day life, the girls that I dated, hung out with, over all, their behaviours, the things they told me...it didn't line up with what my dad was telling me, their attitudes that, before seemed chaotic and senseless, made perfect sense when put into perspective, especially if a lot of men thought the same way as my dad...
The best dating advice I can give for guys who want to date women: Stop listening to men, and listen to women. Once I did that, the world became a better place for everyone.
I thank them for being patient with me, as I unlearned and continue to unlearn, the horrible and wrong lessons I have been taught, growing up.
I also thank my dad, for showing me how not to be.
Comments
I think I was around 11/12
Darren Smith
2022-09-11 01:53:25 +0000 UTCJAIZus...at what tender age did your pops start pouring THIS vitriol into yer ear holes? Please tell me you were at least into your teens...
Harry
2022-09-10 23:45:10 +0000 UTCThat really sucks, I'm sorry to hear. My parents were always more about self image, they always commented on my weight to the point I got body dysmorphia, and would always try to stop me doing art to get a 'real job', and to act more like a man. Thankfully a lot of those things they made me feel are slowly fading since I moved to another country. I was lucky at least that, being the youngest of 7 kids, my parents were pretty much sick of grandkids by the time I came of age, haha.
Darren Smith
2022-09-10 21:52:51 +0000 UTCI was raised by a single mom as part of a small Mexican family. Grandma, three aunts, eight or nine cousins, all but two of them girls, so I became very acquainted with the shit girls and women go through. Being an only child for the longest time, and being the smart kid, Mom's view of my adult life was to have a wife and a brood of smart babies. She mentally played matchmaker with so many of my classmates, trying to point me toward them and ask them out on a date. Mind you, this is when I was about 12. By that time, thanks to AOL and its ridiculously spotty rules about age restriction in chat and what images get sent, I figured out VERY early on that my interest was in guys. Unfortunately, so did Mom. After taking my computer away and giving it to a coworker, she gave me a Playboy and...I didn't realize what she was doing at the time, but in retrospect, it's very clear. Any interest she had in me finding someone to procreate with was for HER benefit, HER happiness, not mine. To her, any woman I'd be with was little more than a means to an end, an object. Even though the rationale behind it didn't make any sense to me as a kid, the emotional fallout from what the relationship would be was clear as crystal, and I never wanted to make anyone feel that way. Over the years, she kept trying to be my wingman, pointing out girls that were supposedly looking at me. This was LONG after it had been established that I wanted to be with a guy. Like, I was halfway through college at this point. At the same time, she'd criticize my appearance (if you lost weight, if you did something with your hair, if you wore trendier clothes, if you smiled more, and so on) and claiming that was why I hadn't found anyone I wanted. I share a house with a gay married couple. It's the most meaningful non-family interpersonal relationship I've had. We've lived together for 11 years now. Is it perfect? No, but what relationship is? I can't see myself trading it for anything else. Anyone who tries to give you advice on who you should date can yeet themselves into a septic tank. You may not know what you want, but when you find what feels right, stick with it.
Arj Reznik
2022-09-10 21:24:22 +0000 UTC
