Episode 10 - The Olympics, Luffes, Boob Magic
Added 2016-08-09 17:43:47 +0000 UTCLike a well oiled machine. Episode 10 VIDEO is coming at you. If you're a lighting person, let me know what I'm FUCKING UP.
http://thedickshow.com/episode-10-dick-gold/
The Cuck Olympics, fans send snacks, the disgusting state of men’s bathrooms, the disgusting-er state of women’s bathrooms, Lifetime gets something right, new lighting equipment, sexual harassment in the workplace and how to get away with it, big boobs and their magical powers, and Sean agrees to read an erotic story; all this and more on this episode of THE DICK SHOW!
A moment of silence for the gun emoji as Apple vows to remove it in the next iOS release thereby ending all violence forever. If anything is going to discourage children from a lifelong attraction to guns, it’s giving them a friendly, neon-green toy version that looks like a piece of candy, is the symbol of fun and merriment, and gives young children their only taste of power against adults vis a vis shooting pee marks on their pants. Apple, you nailed it.
The gun emoji was the only emoji I ever used that I always meant. It was only 16-pixels, but it was 11 seasons worth of Al Bundy GIFs in one miserable frame. It will be missed.
I talk about luffes and how they’re disgusting, fluffy petri dishes of disease and infection. If I wanted to pretend to be homeless and wash myself in the bathroom of a truck stop with a merkin I found in the trash, then I would just do it because it doesn’t sound that hard. If you’re living with aluffer, please ask them how the hell you clean your ass with that thing. Is it like the three seashells in Demolition Man?
In our next event, the Olympics are here! Get ready to behave with respect and dignity for some reason even though the entire shebang is a political pissing contest. I think the Olympics should have higher stakes. Why don’t we put our collective monuments where our mouths are and stack those gold medals up to see who has the biggest ideological dick?! We’ll put our Alaska against your Ukraine, Russia. We’ll put our Washington DC against your Mecca, #TeamRefugee. We’ll put our Los Angeles against your Pyongyang, North Korea–and the rest of the world will be rooting for you for once! If the Olympics aren’t your thing, the Dick Show also presents The Cuck Olympics.
The hunt for a babe to read the news begins with the help of Lenora Claire who joins me this week. This “real life Jessica Rabbit” is the curator of the largest collection of Golden Girls pornography I’ve ever seen; she shares a stalker with Ivanka Trump, she was once named an LA Times Persons of the Year, she has trained a monkey. She is the most interesting man in the world, but she’s also…a woman!.
Lenora talks about her initiatives to change stalking laws in our lifetimes. I’m not sure stalking will still be a problem moving forward now that Apple has put an end to violence by removing the gun emoji from our fingertips, but Lenora disagrees. One thing is certain. The lack of sensible stalking laws make Lifetime movies possible. Lenora also talks her nefarious plan to bait the otherwise mild-mannered Donald Trump into a Twitter firestorm on an upcoming television appearance. Will she succeed?
Philipp Brodka sends in a flawless transcription of Episode 2. Dustin Siniawa brings in some questions from Dickheads on Facebook and Reddit.The Dickchat Gang on IRC attempts to trigger me with PTSD flashbacks by sending in a box of snacks. Dominick Peluso (who might be Sean’s more attractive cousin) grabs hold of a ball sack-free domain with dick.show. I’ve got a new lighting setup for Dick Supporters on Patreon. And we’ve got shitloads of the sickest fan art on the internet.
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<figcaption class="wp-caption-text">http://maximumpanic.com</figcaption></figure><figure class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_250" style="width: 791px;">
<figcaption class="wp-caption-text">Ali Hassanein</figcaption></figure>See you next Tuesday!
Comments
Какво е тва веее.
Боян Дечев
2019-04-26 10:51:35 +0000 UTCJesus fucking Christ
Боян Дечев
2019-04-26 10:51:23 +0000 UTCThe POS Patron app crashes everytime I scroll past boob magic
Torin Huzil
2016-08-23 23:04:45 +0000 UTCSo brave!
2016-08-22 19:38:05 +0000 UTCDustin sucks.
2016-08-18 05:48:30 +0000 UTCWhat's up with the jar? Some cooked up moonshine, out of regular glasses, or just being hipster?
2016-08-17 06:10:40 +0000 UTCGet raped Lenora!
Max Hydrogen
2016-08-16 20:02:21 +0000 UTCLove the show! The book "men are better than women" is one of the greatest books ever written!
2016-08-12 11:41:07 +0000 UTCHuge missed opportunity to call the haircut place "Delilah's"
Hazencruz
2016-08-11 08:38:42 +0000 UTCI think she's a rage. I also like huge cans. That's a win/win buddy. Definite vocal fry but her content makes up for it.
2016-08-11 06:14:24 +0000 UTCDon't bring any more bimbos on the show, no matter how fat their tits are.
Tasty Jam ToAD
2016-08-11 04:09:16 +0000 UTCI just use my hands and soap. I don't smell like a frenchman so I'll keep doing that. Everything gets cleaned and nothing extra has to be washed. How the hell is that so hard to figure out? You're only adding extra steps after that
Alexander Sturm
2016-08-11 01:45:08 +0000 UTCYou are so right about girls being able to just 'start over' and be fine. I made an offhand comment on here a month or so back about being nearly homeless, and I have to admit I was exaggerating, I have a fuck load of options before that happens and a large part of that is due to my gender and my skin colour. Because no one does 'a hot mess' quite like a white woman in her mid 20's, well except maybe a 40 year old one who thinks she's still in her mid 20's. Great show, was prepared to hate the guest (because her voice had a similar sound to another guest we won't mention) and was pleasantly surprised and her personality won me over. Though now I'm starting to wonder if Sḩawṇ the audio engineer needs to audio engineer the fuck out of high pitch female voices in post?
Lahna May
2016-08-10 06:53:37 +0000 UTCanother LA problems episode...
2016-08-10 04:00:59 +0000 UTCEh, shit! I didn't realize the video guy cut it out. It's a process! I'll hit him up for a redo ASAP.
Dick Masterson
2016-08-10 00:42:57 +0000 UTCI'd love to have the voicemails and audio extras put at the end of these videos, I feel like I'm missing out. Obviously it would be way more work for me to swap over to the audio file and listen to them, assuming I could even figure it out, than it would be for you to edit them into the video with a still image, so it just makes sense right?
2016-08-10 00:31:50 +0000 UTCBecause its hard, lets make it easy and turn it into the new sex offender registry. Police have to be more vigilant and take things seriously, but I don't think changing the world into thinking that sending a weird message equates someone to a stalker or some offender is right.
DatBoi
2016-08-09 18:33:14 +0000 UTCI approve. She is rage.
DatBoi
2016-08-09 18:25:11 +0000 UTCI always though the same thing about loofahs. I'd never even heard of it the whole time growing up. Half the girls I've ever dated used them and I can't wrap my head around it. Unless you're using anti bacterial soap, they've gotta just be breeding grounds for germs. disgusting.
Colorless Green Void
2016-08-09 18:18:49 +0000 UTCMessaged.
Dick Masterson
2016-08-09 18:13:56 +0000 UTCRe: Lighting Lenora's blowing out because the light is too harsh on her. It's hard to give advice without knowing what equipment your using but if you're using actual lights (not natural light) to light people in this a tip is to not having shine directly on the subject, try bouncing it off the walls/roof or soften it with baking paper/a sheet. If you want more in depth stuff give us a message
elVoggo
2016-08-09 17:49:00 +0000 UTC
