The Weapon Master Shall Never Die Bare-Handed in Genshin Impact [166]

“Hah, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor isn’t an assassination organization—at least not openly,” Childe said with a grin. “So, how about it? This helper I found should be quite useful to you, don’t you think?”

“We’re here to see the Geo Archon’s remains, not to plan a funeral!” Lumine snapped. “How is he supposed to help us see the so-called ‘Immortal Ancestor’s Remains’?”

To her surprise, Zhongli calmly interjected. “I can indeed help you see the Geo Archon’s body.”

Jia Changjiang’s expression grew complicated.

He had to resist the urge to stand next to Zhongli and voice-over for him:

“That’s right! You’re already looking at the Geo Archon’s immortal form—me!”

Although Jia Changjiang vaguely remembered there was a reason behind Zhongli’s secrecy, knowing his true identity made the situation feel strangely absurd.

“What do you mean? How?” Lumine asked curiously.

Zhongli glanced at the trio before speaking in his usual composed tone. “The Geo Archon is revered as the ancestor of the adepti, but even so, he remains one among them. Across Liyue’s millennia of history, adepti have gradually left this world. It is an irreversible trend.”

“The era of the adepti is fading, giving way to the age of mortals,” he continued. “In times past, the departure of an adeptus was always accompanied by a grand ceremony. Yet now, even the Qixing seem to have no time for such traditions. It’s truly disappointing.”

Shaking his head, Zhongli added, “Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s only concern is this: the Rite of Descension was grand, but is there no one to arrange the Rite of Farewell?”

“Huh?” Lumine picked up on the key detail. “Are you saying we should host a funeral for the Geo Archon?”

“You have keen insight,” Zhongli said with a nod of approval. “From what Childe has told me, you’ve already interacted with Barbatos in Mondstadt. In that case, would you consider assisting me in preparing a ceremony to bid farewell to Rex Lapis?”

“Childe! You talk too much!” Lumine shouted, turning her anger on him. “You’ve been spilling all my secrets! I should get rid of you right here and now!”

Slamming her hand on the table, she picked up a delicate teacup and pointed it at Childe. “I’ll shatter this cup as a signal, and Jax and I will take you down together! You don’t seem like a good guy anyway!”

“Hah? You want to fight? I wouldn’t mind,” Childe said with growing excitement, unfazed by the teacup aimed at him. “But would starting a brawl here really be in your best interest?”

“Oh, so you think I wouldn’t dare? I—” Lumine began, but her words were cut off by Zhongli’s calm yet pointed voice.

“The teacup you’re holding is a custom piece from Liuli Pavilion. Gold-rimmed, silver-lined, with a glaze that shimmers like a pearl. Its white porcelain body is as pure as jade, with a faint blue undertone… Its craftsmanship alone makes it worth at least 100,000 Mora. Are you certain you wish to shatter it?”

The detailed explanation hit Lumine like a rope tightening around her arm. She froze, the cup dangling awkwardly in her hand.

Sensing her discomfort, Jia Changjiang reached out, gently taking the cup from her. Then, addressing Childe, he said, “He’s right. Now’s not the time to fight.”

“Fair enough. At least someone here is keeping their cool,” Childe remarked with a smirk.

However, Jia Changjiang’s next words wiped that smirk off his face.

“You think I stopped her?” Jia Changjiang said, his tone turning sharp. “You’re mistaken.”

“I’m not fighting you because the time isn’t right yet. You’re a Harbinger, like La Signora, aren’t you?” Jia Changjiang’s lips curled into a predatory grin as he licked them slightly. “Certain battles need to be saved for the perfect moment. Starting too soon would ruin their unique flavor.”

Childe’s expression shifted, his smile fading as his eyes narrowed.

Jia Changjiang stepped closer. “La Signora is a tactician—strong, yes, but she’s best suited to straightforward confrontations. But you’re different.”

The energy in the room shifted as Jia Changjiang’s voice grew more animated. “You’re a feast—a challenge worthy of savoring. I want to pick the right moment to enjoy our fight to the fullest.”

He clenched his fists, his excitement palpable.

Childe’s eyes gleamed in response, his previous amicable smile replaced with something wilder, more genuine.

“So you see me as your equal,” Childe said, his voice brimming with excitement. “Good. You’re right—great battles should be savored, not rushed. But remember… I’ll be the one who triumphs in the end!”

For the first time, Childe’s carefree demeanor gave way to something rawer, a youthful boldness underpinned by unshakable confidence.

“We’ll have a glorious battle, one for the ages!” he declared, his tone electric.

Lumine glanced between the two men, utterly baffled. What on Teyvat is going on? Why are they staring at each other like that? And why do I feel like I’m going to get dragged into this fight, too?!

“Ahem.”

Zhongli’s deliberate cough broke the tension, drawing their attention back to him. “Shall we return to the matter at hand? The Rite of Farewell?”

“Fine,” Lumine relented. “I’ll help. It’s just a funeral, right? How hard can it be?”

Her gaze drifted to the table, now laden with dishes. “By the way… when do we eat? The food’s getting cold.”

“Since we’ve settled everything,” Childe said, leaning forward, “why not start now?”

He reached clumsily for a dish with his chopsticks.

Before he could grab it, another pair of chopsticks darted in, snatching the food and depositing it into Lumine’s mouth.

Lumine chewed happily, her movements swift and practiced. “If it’s time to eat, then I won’t hold back! Can we order more?”

---

This is a fan translation of 武器大师在原神绝不死于徒手 by 徐人双 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!