The Weapon Master Shall Never Die Bare-Handed in Genshin Impact [373]

“Don’t be like that. After all, life is full of unexpected accidents. Even if you’re not a customer now, you will be someday.”

Hu Tao’s words left Jia Changjiang speechless.

She wasn’t exactly wrong, but something about her phrasing felt... off.

“We’re here at Wuwang Hill for an adventure,” Lumine stated. “And I don’t think I’ll be needing your services anytime soon.”

She paused, considering it for a moment.

Hu Tao did have a point—everyone dies eventually.

But something told Lumine that she might just outlive Hu Tao by quite a bit…

“Adventurers? The Adventurers’ Guild members are very important guests.”

Hu Tao’s eyes gleamed. “Adventurers are always scaling mountains and delving into ruins. It’s only natural that they’d run into danger every now and then.”

“Providing special care for such customers benefits both them and me.”

As she spoke, her eyes sparkled—Jia Changjiang even noticed that her pupils had a peculiar, plum-blossom shape.

Curious, he asked, “You have a Vision?”

He had spotted the Vision hanging from her back. Stroking his chin, he thought, I don’t know Hu Tao personally, but if the game’s storyline plays out the same way, wouldn’t she be a later banner character?

Which meant she probably wasn’t weak…

Also, for some reason, Jia Changjiang felt like her way of speaking was oddly… slithery.

“Hm? Yeah, I have a Vision.”

Hu Tao snapped her fingers, summoning a small flame at her fingertip. The fire transformed into a fluttering butterfly before dissipating into the air.

“How about that? Pretty neat trick, huh? Haha~” she grinned mischievously.

“A butterfly made of fire? That’s amazing!”

Paimon gasped in awe.

“As expected from Zhongli’s boss. She looks pretty strong,” Lumine added.

“Hey, aren’t you both part of the Adventurers’ Guild?” Hu Tao leaned in, grinning. “Can you help me out with something? Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is in talks with the Adventurers’ Guild for a business deal, and having someone to introduce us would make things much smoother.”

“What’s the reward?” Lumine asked, calculating the potential benefits.

As long as the price was right, anything was negotiable.

If you paid her enough Mora, she’d even steal the Anemo Archon’s wine for you.

“Well, what do you want?” Hu Tao asked. “How about a fifty percent discount on my services—”

Jia Changjiang waved a hand. “No need. I think I still have plenty of time before I need to be buried.”

“We can help, but we’ll need to negotiate the payment separately,” he added, securing his wheelchair in place before turning to Hu Tao. “That aside, since you have a Vision, how strong are you in combat?”

There was a glint of curiosity in his eyes.

Hu Tao crossed her arms. “Fighting is troublesome—it’s a means to an end, not the goal itself. I usually avoid fights. Bad for business.”

“Then, what can you offer us as a reward?” Lumine asked. “By the way… I heard from Childe that Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is well-connected in certain circles.”

“If I were to ask you about someone, could you find out where they are?”

She met Hu Tao’s gaze.

“Oh, gathering intel? That’s my specialty.” Hu Tao placed her hands on her hips. “Even if the person you’re looking for isn’t in the world of the living, I can still ask around.”

“Helping me out is a great deal, don’t you think? Tempting, huh?”

She smirked.

“Hm…”

For once, Lumine gave it some serious thought.

Ever since she had sensed Aether’s presence in Mondstadt, he had vanished again without a trace.

She still had no idea where he had gone.

Even if she couldn’t find his current whereabouts, tracking his past movements would be better than nothing.

“…Alright, I’ll help you.”

Lumine extended her hand. “We’re legendary adventurers from the Adventurers’ Guild. Go ask around—our reputation is stellar!”

She declared proudly, “I’m Lumine, Honorary Knight of Mondstadt and the legendary adventurer who helped drive back an Archon-level threat at Liyue Harbor!”

“Oh~? Ohhh~?”

Hu Tao’s interest visibly piqued. “So you’re the trio Zhongli mentioned?”

“Well then, let’s get going!” she chirped, beaming. “Time to visit the Adventurers’ Guild for some business!”

...

On the way back to Liyue Harbor, Lao Meng helped push Jia Changjiang’s wheelchair while Hu Tao skipped along ahead, occasionally pausing to admire the scenery and even compose little poems along the way.

She seemed utterly carefree and full of life.

Jia Changjiang, meanwhile, leaned on the armrest of his wheelchair, resting his chin on his hand as he pondered.

How did I end up working for Wangsheng Funeral Parlor…?

Still, all this talk about spirits and the afterlife was admittedly intriguing.

It made him wonder—just how strong are ghosts? What really happens after death?

This world did seem to have souls…

So dying here probably wouldn’t mean just blacking out and ceasing to exist, right?

But more importantly—

Jia Changjiang glanced at Hu Tao.

What kind of business could Wangsheng Funeral Parlor possibly have with the Adventurers’ Guild?

He remained curious until they arrived at the guild.

There, he watched as Hu Tao began enthusiastically pitching Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s funeral services to Lan, the branch master of Liyue’s Adventurers’ Guild.

And not just that—she was even offering generous discounts.

A special deal to prioritize cremating Adventurers’ Guild members, plus a bonus of one hundred custom-designed posthumous residences…

“No, thank you!”

Lan firmly refused. “We focus on preventing accidents, not preparing for what happens after them!”

“That’s called planning ahead!” Hu Tao insisted. “I can offer even more discounts! How about a 30% off deal for groups of ten or more?”

“…” Lan turned away. “Please leave. I have work to do.”

Seeing that Lan was about to walk off, Hu Tao panicked, and Lao Meng tried to hold her back.

“Master! If this goes on, the Millelith will show up again!”

Lumine fell into deep thought.

She had never seen such a terrible sales pitch before.

How did Wangsheng Funeral Parlor stay in business?

Then again… it was the only funeral service in Liyue, right?

So even with Hu Tao’s awful sales strategy, they still hadn’t gone bankrupt?

They could even afford to keep someone like Zhongli on the payroll?

“…Hah.”

Watching Lan walk away, Hu Tao sighed.

“Refusing such a good deal… They’re only hurting themselves.”

“No one wants to think about it, but it’s something they’ll all have to face eventually…”

Her words made Jia Changjiang and Lumine exchange glances before whispering between themselves.

Then, the two otherworldly travelers turned back to Hu Tao with a proposal.

“Hu Tao, have you ever heard of life insurance?”

---

T/N: oh no... OH NO DONT TELL HER ABOUT LIFE INSURANCE!!!

This is a fan translation of 武器大师在原神绝不死于徒手 by 徐人双 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!