The Weapon Master Shall Never Die Bare-Handed in Genshin Impact [376]

“W-what… with a sword?”

Luo Cheng stared at Jia Changjiang in horror. “Wouldn’t I die if you cut me?!”

“Nah, not at all. This sword is special.”

Jia Changjiang spoke with a reassuring tone. “If it were any other blade, you’d have a point. But this one—Azakana’s Blade—is a spiritual weapon. As long as I handle it properly, it won’t harm your body.”

“Of course, if you’re still worried, I can say some comforting words before I swing.”

“R-really…?” Luo Cheng hesitated. It seemed he was starting to waver.

“Of course it’s real.” Jia Changjiang nodded confidently. “Come on! One clean strike is all it takes! Jia Changjiang—”

“Huh?”

Luo Cheng blinked in confusion. “Wait, sir, I’m not Jia Changjiang… My name is Luo Cheng…”

“Oh, no, I’m Jia Changjiang.” Jia Changjiang raised his sword.

“You—YOU—”

Luo Cheng nearly bolted out of fear, but the thought of being cursed held him in place. “…Is there really no other way?”

Lao Meng, who had been listening, muttered to himself, “A Wuwang Hill curse… Could it be Wolf Bro…?”

“Hey, don’t go jumping to conclusions,” Hu Tao interjected.

But Luo Cheng was still visibly shaken. “Isn’t Wangsheng Funeral Parlor supposed to be experts at handling these things?! Please, help me—I don’t want to die!”

“Sure, but lifting a curse requires the right location and some proper preparations.”

Hu Tao turned to Lao Meng. “Take him to perform a purification ritual with incense. As for you, my new temporary employee—come with me.”

With that, she led Jia Changjiang and Lumine out of the funeral parlor.

As Jia Changjiang wheeled past Luo Cheng, he casually asked, “You really don’t want me to cleanse you? It’s just one swing, I promise.”

“N-NO, THANK YOU!”

Luo Cheng scrambled several meters away from him. “I’ll take the complicated method instead…”

...

Hu Tao brought Jia Changjiang and Lumine to a Ley Line Monolith.

“Alright, all we have to do now is wait and do nothing.”

“…Huh?” Lumine looked puzzled. “Do nothing?”

“Yep.”

Hu Tao folded her arms. “One guy thinks he’s cursed. Another thinks his friend has turned into a vengeful ghost. Neither of them will listen to reason.”

“So, we let them figure it out themselves.”

“I’ve seen this happen plenty of times,” she continued. “In the end, all they need is a little reassurance, and it’s over.”

“…That sounds like something you’d do to calm a child,” Paimon muttered.

“Well, you look like a child.”

Lumine grabbed Paimon mid-air and started squishing her cheeks.

“Mmph! Paimon is not a child!”

Paimon struggled to break free.

“I still think one clean cut would be faster,” Jia Changjiang said. “He’s not actually cursed, so it wouldn’t hurt him. At worst, he’d feel mentally exhausted for a few days.”

“…Wait, you weren’t lying?”

Hu Tao blinked. “I thought you were just trying to scare him off.”

“Well, when people start straying too close to the boundary between life and death, it’s our job to nudge them back onto the right path.”

She crossed her arms. “That’s been Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s role since its founding—to maintain the balance of life and death in Liyue. That includes dealing with the residual plagues left behind by fallen Archons. It’s been passed down for generations.”

“…So curses did actually exist before?”

Hu Tao’s words made Paimon jump. “W-wait, you mean real curses used to be a thing?! That’s terrifying!”

“Relax. These days, most of it is just psychological. But we can’t exactly tell people that.”

Hu Tao grinned. “Anyway, you two can fight, right? Since that’s the case, help me put on a little show using the Ley Line Monolith.”

“Once we activate it, the ‘curse’ will take form, and all we have to do is ‘defeat’ it.”

She smirked. “After all, a troubled heart can only be cured with a fitting performance.”

...

Some time later, Lao Meng returned with Luo Cheng.

Jia Changjiang and Lumine were already in position, fully prepared for battle.

“See that?” Hu Tao pointed at the monolith. “This device will extract the curse from your body and materialize it.”

“As for safety—don’t worry! Our new Wangsheng Funeral Parlor staff here are highly experienced adventurers, personally trained by the Adventurers’ Guild! You’re in good hands.”

“R-really?!”

Hope sparked in Luo Cheng’s eyes. “That’s amazing! My curse can finally be lifted!”

“You’re lucky,” Lumine muttered. “If you had filed a request at the Adventurers’ Guild, this would’ve cost you a lot of Mora…”

She unsheathed her sword and prepared to activate the monolith.

“Think of it as a warm-up,” Jia Changjiang said as he reached for his twin swords.

Then, he suddenly realized something.

If he held both swords…

He couldn’t push his own wheelchair.

Jia Changjiang pondered for a moment before flipping his twin blades in reverse and stabbing them into the ground.

Using them like ski poles, he pushed himself forward.

Even while sitting in a wheelchair, even if his body wasn’t in top condition, Jia Changjiang had still managed to turn his twin swords into ski sticks, gliding effortlessly across the battlefield like a windborne warrior.

“Alright, let’s get this started! Bring it on!”

Jia Changjiang’s face lit up with excitement.

Luo Cheng, however, wasn’t so sure anymore.

A wheelchair-bound man, a blonde girl, and a floating child…

Could this group of seemingly fragile individuals really defeat an Archon’s curse?

Luo Cheng found himself growing more and more skeptical.

Of course, what he didn’t know was that if you factored in Lumine’s true age, this team already checked off all the categories—elderly, weak, women, and children.

“…Huh?”

A single strand of Lumine’s hair shot up in irritation.

Her instincts told her that someone was underestimating her.

As soon as she activated the Ley Line Monolith, an eruption of energy surged forth, drawing in the surrounding monsters.

And to Luo Cheng, these creatures had to be the physical manifestation of his curse.

“It’s… real?!”

Then, he witnessed something truly absurd—

Jia Changjiang, still seated in his wheelchair, blitzed forward, running over a stunned Hilichurl in the process.

“Let’s go!”

Like a rower at sea, he used his twin blades to propel himself forward.

“Time to fight!”

The next second, massive Geo constructs—Lumine’s [Starfell Swords]—erupted from the ground, exploding within the Hilichurl horde.

When it came to combat, Lumine was as battle-hardened as they came.

She refused to be outdone by a guy using his wheelchair as a racecar.

---

HAHA SO FUNNY! (i def understand)

This is a fan translation of 武器大师在原神绝不死于徒手 by 徐人双 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!