Weren’t You Only Using Me As A Stand-in? [9]

“She... she’s your girlfriend?”

The balding, beer-bellied middle-aged man glanced at Watanabe Akari, then at Kitahara Takeru, clearly skeptical that the two even knew each other.

Takeru shot him a sidelong glance. “If she’s not my girlfriend, then what? Yours? You're just an old deng”

“You little brat—watch your mouth! Believe it or not, I’ll knock you flat!”

The man had no idea what Takeru meant by “old deng”, but it was clearly no compliment. He was already buzzed from drinking, and now this punk was mouthing off? Rage bubbled up. He was ready to throw down—samurai style.

“You?”

Takeru’s eyes dropped unconsciously to the guy’s round gut—so bloated he couldn’t even see his own feet.

He chuckled. “Yeah, no.”

That did it.

The man was pissed.

He’d show this disrespectful punk what adults were made of.

He rolled up his sleeves, ready to swing, but before he could raise a hand, Takeru casually pulled out his phone and waved it in front of him.

“Need me to call the cops and report you for sexually harassing my girlfriend?”

If you want a duel, don’t blame me for fighting dirty.

“You... you...”

The man’s drunken haze cleared just a little.

He stared at Takeru, stunned.

Sure, he wanted to fight, but he hadn’t signed up to get MeToo’d.

“In Japan, a sexual harassment charge can get you fired at best, jailed at worst.”

Takeru spoke slowly, calmly—almost elegantly.

But to the middle-aged man, he sounded like the devil.

“Come on, old man. You’ve got a job, right? You wouldn’t want to lose it, would you?” Takeru spread his hands and smiled. “So, what’ll it be? Pay up, or take a trip to the station?”

Shit. This is a scam.

That was his first thought.

But he’d been around the block. He quickly regained his composure.

“How do you plan to prove I harassed her? Got any evidence?”

“Do you have evidence you didn’t?”

Takeru had made sure to study Japanese law the moment he arrived in the country.

You have to know the law to break it properly.

In Japan, if the man can't prove his innocence in a harassment case, he’s basically guilty by default.

“......”

The man fell silent. He had no evidence.

“And how do you know I didn’t record the whole thing?”

Takeru waved his phone again.

The man’s eyes lit up with hope. “No way. If you recorded anything, your phone’s flash would’ve gone off.”

Japanese smartphones are hard-coded to make a shutter sound and flash when taking photos. No way he wouldn’t have noticed.

Takeru looked at him like he was Aqua from Konosuba. “I was recording video.”

The man: “......”

Damn it! This goddamn brat...!

He really wanted to punch him.

“Of course, if you still want to go through with this samurai duel, I won’t resist. But afterward, I’ll be posting everything online. Oh, and just so you know—I’m underage.”

“Assaulting a minor would stack nicely on top of a harassment charge, don’t you think?”

The man grit his teeth, seething, then finally swallowed his rage and pulled out his wallet. “How much do you want?”

He didn’t want things to escalate. Better to lose some money than get ruined.

“Whatever you think is fair.”

Takeru had never done this before and had no clue what was standard.

The man pulled out four 10,000-yen bills with Fukuzawa Yukichi’s face and checked Takeru’s expression—but he couldn’t read anything.

Takeru was masked, and his eyes were calm and unreadable.

After a moment’s hesitation, the man gritted his teeth and added three more bills. “Delete the video.”

Takeru said nothing.

Didn’t take the money either.

With a deep scowl, the man handed over two more bills. “That’s my final offer.”

“Thank you, kind sir.”

Takeru plucked the money from his hands and stuffed it into his pocket without blinking. Then he turned to Akari and said, “Let’s go, babe. My treat for late-night snacks.”

Watanabe Akari hadn’t said a word the entire time, quietly following along.

“Wait—delete the video.”

The man lunged forward and grabbed Takeru by the shoulder.

“Video? What video? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Takeru turned with wide, innocent eyes, as if he were completely lost.

“You—you scammed me!”

The man exploded.

He felt like a clown in a traveling circus.

“Oh? You gonna hit me?”

Takeru’s eyes gleamed, his expression even a little hopeful.

Please, do it.
Just give me a reason.

He glanced back at Akari. “Babe, when the punches start flying, remember to turn on beauty mode before you start recording.”

Akari was both furious and amused, giving him a helpless smile.

“I...” The man was trembling with rage, but in the end, he let go.

“What school are you from?!”

He knew Takeru wouldn’t answer, but he still shouted the question.

Takeru raised his brow and said with mock sincerity, “Allow me to introduce myself—Watanabe Toru from Shuchi'in Academy. You’re welcome to drop by anytime.”

Come find me if you dare, was practically written on his face.

“...Really?”

To his surprise, the man hesitated.

Takeru’s deadpan delivery had thrown him off completely.

“You can look me up. I gave you my name.”

With a lazy glance, Takeru turned and strolled off.

His retreating figure? Cool as hell.

“Was he really from Shuchi'in?”
“No way. He was probably bluffing.”
“But what if he wasn’t? That attitude... he didn’t seem ordinary.”

The man stood there, second-guessing everything.

A few blocks away, once they’d walked a fair distance, Watanabe Akari looked back to confirm they weren’t being followed. Then she laughed and playfully smacked Takeru on the chest. “You lie so naturally it’s scary.”

Takeru shrugged. “Out in the world, your identity is whatever you say it is.”

“You’re not afraid he’ll come looking for you?”

“Let him. I’m not actually named Watanabe Toru, after all.”

If anyone was gonna suffer, it’d be that guy—not him.

“You’re terrible~”

Akari burst out laughing again.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “So, where are we going now?”

“Home. Separately. It’s late.”

Takeru smoothly extracted his arm from where she’d tucked it against her chest.

Akari noticed, frowned slightly, and came to a halt. “Do you hate me that much?”

“Huh?”

Takeru was confused.

Couldn’t keep up with her emotional tempo at all.

“You walked Marin home even though it was out of the way, but you wouldn’t even stay in the same train car as me. You must hate me.”

Her eyes were wet, staring up at him like she might cry at any moment.

Takeru felt guilty. “No, it’s just... Marin’s a girl, and it wasn’t safe for her to go home alone.”

“What about me? I’m a girl too! And you’re totally fine letting me go home alone?!”

She stepped forward, tilting her head up to meet his eyes.

“Bunkyō’s the safest ward in Tokyo,” he mumbled, clearly losing confidence in his argument.

“And what if something did happen? What if I got hit on like just now?”

“Then call the cops?”

He figured that’s what police were for, right?

“Oh, so Marin gets an escort, and I get told to call the useless cops? Wow, you’re so fair.”

“Hey now, that’s a harsh thing to say. Be careful, or they might haul you away~”

“Don’t change the subject! Just admit it—Kitahara Takeru, you don’t like me.”

“It’s not that I dislike you... We just don’t have much to talk about.”

“But you have plenty to say with Marin?”

Takeru nodded honestly. “Yeah.”

“You...!”

Akari was so mad she couldn’t speak.

She glared at him and stomped off.

Takeru kept walking at his usual pace.

His legs were long. Even with Akari storming off ahead, they didn’t actually get too far apart.

When they reached the subway station, Akari stopped abruptly and turned around.

“Stop following me! You’ve been tailing me this whole time!”

There were quite a few people at the station, and her shout drew stares.

Several women glanced at Takeru warily and subtly stepped away from him.

I should’ve just let her get harassed...

Takeru’s face darkened.

He knew exactly what this was:

Watanabe Akari was getting back at him.

---

T/N: old deng is slang for a sleazy old man

This is a fan translation of 不是说只拿我当替身的吗？by 雪碧加冰. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!