Honkai: Star Rail – Banner Character, Delivering Knives to the Player [10]

[Warning! Warning!]
[This is too bold!]
[You’re gonna get Star Rail banned at this rate!]
[He’s got peak troll energy — that VA is putting in a god-tier performance.]
[Seriously. From the enemy’s perspective, just hearing his voice makes your fists clench. He’s asking for a beating.]
[Sitwangdao vibes confirmed.]

[Idle Line During Combat]
No rush. Let’s toy with him a bit.

[Basic ATK – Line 1]
What’s a thousand minus three?

Players collectively twitched.

Bro… how are you made of memes?!

[Skill – Line 1]
Time to make you fly.

[Skill – Line 2]
Lift off!

[Minor Damage]
Eh, feels like you’re just being coy.

[Major Damage]
Look at you, getting all worked up.

By this point, the chat had descended into a full-screen wall of "HAHAHAs."

Ah Xian offered a perfect dramatic reading, clutching her stomach as she doubled over laughing, completely abandoning any pretense of streamer decorum.

[This man’s a menace. Lifts you up with one hand, just to slap you midair.]
[#Please check on the Star Rail writing team’s mental state.]
[This is wild. Even the "Judgment of Shamash" meme got adapted. I’ve ascended.]

[Ultimate – Activation]
I know a little about medicine...

[Ultimate – Cast]
So—who here’s feeling sick?

[The taunt is off the charts. How does he not have an aggro mechanic?!]
[I heard Preservation has the highest aggro, but honestly, Lingzhou should’ve been Preservation.]
[If the enemies understood what he was saying, they’d be target-locking him every turn.]
[This man’s a walking provocation.]

[Talent]
Dao follows nature.

“Huh?”

Ah Xian blinked.

“That one’s oddly serious.”

And players agreed. It was weird.

But not for long.

Because soon enough, they witnessed Lingzhou’s follow-up attack animation—and all confusion melted into laughter.

Who could say he wasn’t a troll?

He was the king of trolls.

[KO’d]
Welp. Wiped...

[Back to Battle]
Kids, I’m home.

“???”

Ah Xian squinted.

“You can’t just say stuff like that.”

[Healed]
You’re a real one.

[Technique]
You—come here!

[Battle Won]
Make sure to finish them off.

[Loot – Basic]
Careful. Fools like to leave little surprises.

[Excuse me? You’re telling me you’re not the Jester now?]
[Aha: I heard there was fun here. May I join the chaos?]

[Loot – Okay]
Eh, not bad.

[Loot – Rare]
Like it? Go ahead — it’s yours.

[Puzzle Clear – 1]
Doctors gotta keep their heads clear, right?

[Puzzle Clear – 2]
I’m a fragile doctor. I don’t brute-force puzzles.

“As we all know, support-type ‘frail’ characters tend to hit the hardest. Fragile = unit with insane burst. That’s the law.”

[No complaints here.]
[Just how hard? Mama’s gonna find out soon...]
[Wait… weren’t you a dude in chat just now?]
[Male moms are still moms.]
[GET OUT.]

[Enemy Spotted]
Buffed up, huh? Go get ‘em.

[Return to Town]
If you’re gonna slack, slack with purpose. Don’t half-ass it.

[Everyone memorize that: Lingzhou’s Slacker Philosophy™.]
[Honestly, with these voice lines and goofy skill names, is anything about this guy serious?]
[Fake lazybones outside, terrifying carry inside. HoYo knows exactly how to weaponize contrast.]

“Voice lines done. Time to see his backstory.”

[Character Bio]
Claims to know a little about medicine.
A young man with a deeply unreadable personality.
A chance encounter brought him onto the train, joining the crew’s journey into the future.

No one knows where the past he’s searching for lies—
or where the future he seeks may lead.

“That’s... vague. Basically the same level of detail March 7th got at launch.”

Ah Xian shook her head and clicked into Character Story 1.

[Story: Page 1]

The Tianyu people are a winged race by birth.

Not only can they fly freely, most possess innate wind manipulation abilities.

Those with strong mastery can summon hurricanes with a mere gesture.

“Lingzhou, Lingzhou, why don’t we see you fly more often?”

“Then let me ask you — why don’t you run marathons every day?”

“Because it’s exhausting... Wait, flying is tiring too?”

“Of course it is. I’m a delicate doctor, you know. My stamina’s not the best. I get winded fast.”

“Oooh...”

The pink-haired girl, wide-eyed and guileless, clearly didn’t realize she was being played.

After all, anyone who could control wind would naturally know how to reduce air resistance while flying.

An elegant woman beside them, sipping coffee, smiled but said nothing.

Just a harmless little joke — nothing more.

Reading that, Ah Xian was reminded of that cutscene not long ago:

Lingzhou diving in to save the team, angelic wings outstretched in full glory — absolutely stunning.

With that thought, she quickly wrapped up the storyline, met with Herta for guidance, and brought Lingzhou into the Simulated Universe.

Her goal: see the full skill animations.

She started with a basic attack.

Lingzhou, smiling pleasantly, summoned two teal-colored wind fists and slammed them on either side of the enemy’s head.

The animation itself was nothing fancy.

But between his face, the effortless movements, and that line — “What’s a thousand minus three?” — the effect was devastating.

[Washing seaweed, washing seaweed...]
[I felt that. Physically.]
[Y’all realize how dangerous that voice line is, right?]
[Let me ask you—let me ask you.]
[Don’t forget: “1000 minus 7” was originally used by a sadistic psycho in Tokyo Ghoul.]
[I was too busy laughing at the meme to notice. Lingzhou… might actually be a yandere?]
[Oh? Classic twisted doctor archetype unlocked?]

“A twisted doctor? That just makes it better.”

Ah Xian chimed in dreamily, her voice laced with adoration.

“Best case scenario — he’s a male yandere. The rarest of rare breeds. A true panda-tier find.”

“Just imagine it — Lingzhou, smiling with that creepy calm, holding a scalpel and slowly walking toward me and—”

“I’m aroused...”

[Please. Ease off the gas pedal.]
[This again?! Who runs this hair salon?!]
[You simp this hard for a yandere — aren’t you scared of, like, consequences?]
[Tch. What consequences? Girl just wants someone crazy enough to love only her.]
[User ‘TiredFromShovelingSnow’ has been muted for 1 hour.]

“That user crossed the line!”

Ah Xian pouted, theatrically outraged.

“Nobody loves me? Nobody?”

“Please — with these dual 8K monitors? I bet there’s a line of people down the block ready to fall in love.”

[Real. Who wouldn’t fall for 8K?]
[I admit it. I’m pathetic. So I’ll love you first.]
[One week. Two hands. One light. Two grabs. Three holes…]

As a seasoned streamer, Ah Xian immediately sensed where that line of bullet chat was headed.

“You guys are filthy. No seasoning on those lines whatsoever.”

But she didn’t get mad.

Wrinkles weren’t worth it.

Soon, it was Lingzhou’s turn again. Ah Xian hit his Skill button.

At normal speed, every movement was crisp and visible.

He slipped through the wind to close the gap, raised his right arm, and conjured a spiraling cyclone from his palm.

The tornado slammed into the target, then splintered into four smaller whirlwinds, which pinballed between the rest of the enemies.

---

T/N: i wish i had 8k....

This is a fan translation of 崩铁：卡池角色，给玩家发刀 by 三十度幻. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!