Is It Okay If I Don't Want to Try Anymore? [5]

It was night. Sometime in the early morning.
Higashino Kanade couldn’t sleep.

So hot. Way too hot.

Lying under the covers, he felt like he was roasting on a Volcano. His body felt numb from the heat. He flung the blanket off.

Cold. So cold.

Just moments ago, it was on a Volcano—now it was the South Pole. He felt like he was hearing things.

“Wanna top up your Q-coins? Q-coins? You gonna top up your Q-coins?”

He pulled the blanket back over himself and stuck both feet out to balance the temperature.

Now his body wasn’t hot anymore, but his feet were freezing. And with them dangling outside the blanket like that, he couldn’t shake the feeling that some ghostly hand would grab him from under the bed. The unease made his skin crawl.

The mosquito was dead.
Mom had gone back to her room.
The door was closed.
But apparently, this was where the real battle began.

Fully covered? Too hot.
Half-covered? Too cold.
Feet out? Ghost hands.

Just because he had psychic powers didn’t mean he wasn’t afraid of ghosts. If anything, because he had powers—and could see things other people couldn’t—he was even more afraid.

When he was younger, he hadn’t understood his abilities. He didn’t know how to retract the mental energy that pooled around his eyes, so sometimes he couldn’t even tell whether the person he was looking at… was a person at all.

Pleasant Goat. Pretty Goat. Lazy Goat. Fit Goat…

Someone once said if you couldn’t sleep, count sheep. Kanade had never actually fallen asleep from counting sheep, but he knew that letting your mind drift might make you nod off eventually.

Arigato, Mei Yangyang-san.
Come on, Fei Yangyang, push! Xi Yangyang’s out of strength!
Shut up, Mei Yangyang. I’m the Lazy King, dammit.

Shit. Now I really can’t sleep.

Why was he even remembering this? These were memories from over a decade ago. Was his overly strong mental power dredging up long-buried cringe content?

Crap. My black history’s coming up! Forget! Forget it! Please, for the love of—forget it already!

Everyone has a past they’d rather not remember. Kanade was no exception.

Embarrassing moments. Shameful episodes. Cringe that keeps you up at night. But here’s the thing—when those memories resurface in the middle of the night and you feel like dying from secondhand embarrassment, take comfort: you remember your own dark history, sure, but do you remember anyone else’s?

Can you recall the names of your classmates from back then? What they did to totally humiliate themselves?

Probably not. Even if you try, it’s all just a blur.

But logic is one thing, emotions are another. When those memories hit, even if you know better, your heart still whispers, “I’m so sorry I was born.”

Kanade had no idea when he finally fell asleep that night.

The next morning—also at some unknown hour—Kanade was rudely awakened.

His mom, chatting loudly on the phone while sweeping the hallway, was the culprit.

He checked the time.
7 a.m.
Still an hour before school.

Yeah… I can lie down a bit longer.

“It’s almost eight! Why are you still asleep?! Get up!”

The door swung open. Her voice rang out like a demon’s curse.

“Get up, it’s so stuffy in here. I’m opening the window.”

Fwoosh. The curtains were yanked open. A flood of sinful sunlight bathed the room, followed by the chill of autumn air sweeping in.

“Just look at this place. It’s like a pigsty. Clean up your stuff! And your pens are everywhere again. You spend all day drawing—your grades better not start slipping!”

Welp. So much for sleeping.

Kanade had stayed up late tossing and turning. He’d only just drifted off when he got jolted awake by Mom’s multi-stage wake-up attack. Now his sleepiness was gone—but his grumpy mood had arrived in full force.

Not that it mattered. This was Mom. What could a little grumpiness do? Get mad at her? Ha. Might as well dig his own grave.

He stayed quiet, got up, and got dressed. The sooner he got out of this house, the better—anything to avoid more of her nagging.

Back when he’d first transmigrated, seeing his mom again had made him genuinely happy.
But it had been ten years now. The novelty had long worn off.
And being a kid again only made things worse.

Get dressed.
Wash up.
Wake up Suzu.
Eat breakfast.
Pack lunch.

“Morning, Onii-chan…”

Suzu came down the stairs yawning, tugging at the little ahoge on her head.

White hair. Amber eyes. From a glance, she looked like a classic kuudere—but she wasn’t. She was more of a hyper ball of energy, like Aqua from Konosuba. Shy and timid around strangers, but an absolute maniac around people she knew.

Honestly, she should’ve been blonde. Or had bright blue hair like Konata. Blonde screamed “cheerful.” Blue was more… refined.

“’Sup,” Kanade mumbled through a mouth full of food.

“What’s for breakfast?” Suzu sat down, took one look at the spread, and her adorable face drooped. “Eggs, sausage, bread again? I want instant noodles…”

“This is a good breakfast! What’s so great about instant noodles? They’re disgusting.”

Kanade cheerfully scarfed down his fried eggs, pure joy on his face.

Ah, being home is nice.

Back when he was on his own, eating cup noodles every day made him want to puke. Takeout, too. Later he learned to cook, but no matter how hard he tried, it never tasted as good as Mom’s.

“Instant noodles are good!”

Suzu puffed her cheeks in protest.

So many flavors! So delicious! And her brother dared say they weren’t good?

“Fine then. Just wait till you graduate and start working—see how you like eating them every day.”

Kanade cursed her with the worst possible fate.

“Really?! Yay!”

Suzu didn’t realize it was a curse. She took it as a blessing—like her brother was promising her a dream come true.

Instant noodles for breakfast, lunch, dinner—and maybe a midnight snack too? That was heaven!

“…Pff.”

Kanade couldn’t help but laugh at her sparkling eyes, full of naïve, unrealistic joy.

Even the best food tastes awful if you eat it every day.

As a kid, he’d thought the candy house from fairy tales sounded amazing. Imagine living in a house where everything was made of sweets! But now, thinking back—ugh. Sugar gets cloying fast. Forget every day—one day of candy would be unbearable.

Kids were great. So pure. So full of wonder.

Kanade completely forgot that he was still technically a kid too.

Time was ticking. It was almost time to go wake Konata. If he didn’t, she might really be late today.

She never set an alarm. She relied entirely on him to wake her up.

As Konata’s childhood friend, Kanade had a key to the Izumi household.

It had been given to him by Konata’s dad, Izumi Soujirou. Not for anything dramatic—just so Kanade could let himself in and wake her up, without having to ring the bell every morning.

The Izumi family was a single-parent household. Konata’s mom had passed away when she was very young. Her dad had raised her on his own.

And her dad? A full-on otaku.

Naturally, he watched anime. Played games.
And naturally, he stayed up all night doing both.

So yeah. That’s why Kanade had the key.

Konata stayed up late.
Soujirou, father of Konata, also stayed up late.

First thing in the morning, both of them would be out cold.
Who’d want to leave a warm bed just to open the door?

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This is a fan translation of 不想努力可以吗？by 优的布丁 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!