Pokémon: My Titles Know No Limits! [412]

Though Penny was a genius hacker—capable of breaching the Rotom Phone Company and the Paldea League systems—offline, she was just a shy, socially anxious girl.

Now that August had exposed her, she completely panicked.

Noticing Penny’s nervousness, August just kept smiling at her, saying nothing.

But his silence only made the pressure worse.

All she’d done was pause for a moment when she saw a cute Eevee, and now she’d ended up in this situation. Penny’s thoughts started to spiral, imagining every possible consequence...

The smarter a person is, the more likely they are to overthink. Someone like Zinnia, for example, would never worry about something like this.

The more Penny thought, the more anxious she got. Finally, unable to take the pressure, she blurted out:

“Mr. August, if… if I join, will the League drop all charges against me?”

“Of course!”

“…Then I’ll join.”

“A wise decision!” August patted Penny’s shoulder and handed her a special Kanto Division phone. “Welcome to the Kanto branch of the International Police!”

As he spoke, he added Penny to the group chat.

[System Notification]: ‘GardevoirSupremacy’ has invited ‘I’llBeatYou‘tilYouCryforYourMom’ to join the chat group.

[PsychicPrettyGirl]: Huh, you went to Paldea for a few days and already tricked another newbie into joining…

[JigglypuffIstheCutest]: ‘I’llBeatYou‘tilYouCryforYourMom’ is such a cute username!

[GardevoirSupremacy]: Sabrina, quit framing me!

[LordRayquazaSupremacy]: Don’t trust August—I’m right here, I can vouch that Sabrina’s right!]

[System Notification]: ‘LordRayquazaSupremacy’ has been renamed ‘Zinnia’ by an admin.

[System Notification]: ‘Zinnia’ has been muted by an admin.

Penny stared at the chat, and at Zinnia—who was hugging her head, squatting on the ground and crying. Suddenly, Penny felt like she’d been tricked.

“Mr. August, how did you find the evidence?” she couldn’t help asking.

She was genuinely curious how he’d uncovered her.

“Evidence?” August looked puzzled. “What evidence?”

“The evidence that I hacked the Rotom Phone Company…”

August, under Penny’s gaze, put on a look of realization. “Oh, there isn’t any.”

“If you’re looking for evidence… the only one is that you just confessed, I guess?” August rubbed his chin.

Penny’s vision went black. The last thing she heard was Zinnia’s shout and Sylveon’s anxious cry before she passed out.

…

When Penny woke up, she found herself lying on a bed.

Sitting beside her was a girl cuddling a white Zorua, feeding her own Sylveon snacks.

The moment Penny opened her eyes, the girl gasped. “Teacher August, she’s awake!”

And then the very person responsible for making Penny faint walked over. “You really don’t have much of a backbone—I hadn’t even finished talking…”

Penny: “……”

Anyone who realized they’d basically walked into a trap would probably react the same way…

But it was too late for regrets.

Sylveon hopped over and nuzzled her, instantly making her feel much better.

“You fainted before I could finish. Let me tell you about the perks of the Kanto branch!”

With that, August started explaining—salary, paid leave, ultra-short work hours, expense accounts, company trips… Penny listened, dumbfounded.

It was nothing like she’d imagined.

She’d thought August had brought her in just to squeeze her dry, but instead, the conditions he offered were shockingly good.

And that wasn’t all. August continued, “But the most important thing is, as long as you join the International Police, everything in your past is wiped clean—and from now on, anything you do will have the full backing of headquarters.”

Hearing that, Penny realized joining didn’t sound so bad after all.

But there was still one thing she couldn’t understand.

“…If the perks are this good, why did you have to scare me like that…?”

“That’s just August’s twisted se—mmph! Ow, that hurts!”

Zinnia was squatting on the floor, clutching her head.

After flicking Zinnia on the head, August turned to Penny, face solemn. “That was a test—to see if you could handle pressure!”

“A test…?”

“That’s right. But I have to say, you didn’t pass very well…”

Penny’s face turned red with embarrassment. “I—I’ll work on it!”

Zinnia sighed from the side. Another one fallen victim to August’s gaslighting…

She’d actually picked up the word “gaslighting” from August, too!

…

When they went into the living room, Iono was still editing her documentary. Mew was fiddling with the two Magnemite on her head, making it impossible for her to focus.

The moment August walked in, Iono shot him a desperate look.

She was completely no match for Mew.

August figured Mew was still holding a grudge for that super-salty omelette Iono made for her last time.

Where Mew learned to hold grudges like this, he’d never know—it certainly wasn’t from him!

He beckoned Mew over.

“Mew~!” Mew instantly abandoned Iono and zipped over to August.

With practiced ease, Mew waved to Gengar, who respectfully handed over a bag of chips. Then she sprawled across August’s shoulder, munching on chips while curiously eyeing Penny and her Sylveon.

“That’s… is that Mew?” Penny stared in shock. “It really is Mew!”

Mew, hearing her name, plucked out a chip and, after a moment, grabbed another one—one for Penny, one for Sylveon.

Just as Penny and Sylveon reached out to accept the snack, Mew yanked both chips back and stuffed them into her own mouth, pulling a face at them.

“Bleh—bleh~!”

Penny and Sylveon both froze.

August gave Mew a light tap on the head and sighed. “This is why you need a strong heart to survive in our Kanto branch!”

Zinnia rolled her eyes.

Keep pretending. Everyone knows the biggest troll in Kanto isn’t Mew—it’s you, August!

Thonk!

August’s hand landed on Zinnia’s head with perfect aim. “Don’t think I can’t see you making faces behind my back!”

Zinnia’s eyes filled with tears.

He’s going to knock my brains out!

Gary: Amused.

Silly Zinnia—doesn’t she realize I’m smart enough not to get involved in this mess?

…

When August finally saw Arven again, Arven was all packed and ready to go.

He wore an outdoor jacket over his school uniform, and his backpack was stuffed to bursting.

Spotting August, Arven handed over two books. “Mr. August, these are the Violet Book and Scarlet Book my parents left behind!”

August flipped through them. The content wasn’t surprising—just notes on Paradox Pokémon, nothing different from the widely published public editions.

The real value lay in the IDs and magnetic cards tucked inside.

To Arven’s surprise, August handed both books right back.

“Your parents’ belongings should stay with you.”

Then August turned to everyone. “Now that everyone’s here, let’s not waste any time. We’re heading for Area Zero!”

“A-Area Zero? Am I going too?” Penny, usually so quiet, pointed at herself in surprise.

August looked puzzled. “What are you talking about? You’re part of the Kanto branch now, of course you’re coming!”

“But—but…”

She wanted to say that Area Zero was dangerous, forbidden even to most people in Paldea—was she really allowed to go?

But her shyness kept her from objecting out loud.

No objection meant consent.

August stood up and slapped the table. “I hereby declare: the Kanto Division’s Area Zero investigation mission officially begins!”

Lusamine clipped the Ultra Beast she’d just brought from Alola to her belt, her tone gentle. “I’ll follow your lead!”

Lillie: “Wherever my teacher goes, I go!”

Iono fiddled with her Rotom Phone. “Can we stream live from Area Zero?”

Gary, cracking his knuckles: “I’m gonna catch myself a Paradox Pokémon!”

Zinnia, clutching her head: “My brain’s spinning… I’m losing it…”

Cogita just smiled quietly.

“Mew!”

Mew pumped her fist in the air.

She had no idea what Area Zero was, but that didn’t stop her from joining the fun.

Not long after August’s group set out…

Nemona finally found out who Gary really was from the principal. She pushed open the conference room door, eager to resume their unfinished battle—only to find an empty room.

Well, not quite empty—there was a half-eaten bag of chips left on the table!

Nemona eyed the bag, then released her Pokémon. “Lycanroc, get that scent. Track down whoever it belongs to!”

Lycanroc sniffed the bag, but its face showed hesitation.

“Rrrow~?”

Are you sure we’re really supposed to track down this person…?

…

Area Zero Entrance

With the help of Flying Pokémon, August’s team soon reached the entrance of Area Zero.

Unlike the empty wasteland from the games, here the place was crowded with Paldea League staff.

August spotted Geeta, who’d arrived ahead of them.

“August, you’re here!”

She was in the middle of a conversation with another staffer, but quickly waved them off and hurried over.

The moment she spotted Penny behind August, she paused in surprise.

Geeta had long known Penny had hacked the Paldea League systems. She’d never exposed her—partly because the damage was minor, partly because she’d hoped to one day recruit her for Paldea. She hadn’t expected August to get to her first.

A look of mild frustration flashed across Geeta’s face.

August, of course, noticed. So Geeta’s had her eye on Penny all along!

He silently thanked his own quick reflexes and played it cool. “How’s the situation?”

Geeta collected herself and didn’t dwell on it. “After our tireless efforts, we finally picked up the life-sign signals from the last group of investigators inside Area Zero.”

“At the moment, it’s certain they’re still alive!”

August nodded. “And then?”

Geeta looked a little embarrassed. “That’s… about it.”

“Emmmm…”

August didn’t quite know what to say.

Is the Paldea League just incompetent? Maybe not—Area Zero is a complicated place.

The danger from Paradox Pokémon could easily rival the Ultra Beasts.

But calling their work outstanding… that’d be a bit much, too.

Sensing the awkwardness, Geeta quickly changed the subject. “This time, I’ve also arranged a guide!”

She spoke a few words into her radio.

Then August saw a familiar, exhausted figure approach.

“Larry? Long time no see!”

“…Yeah, it’s been a while.”

Larry looked even more drained than last time.

After getting on Geeta’s bad side, she’d been running him ragged ever since.

“Here, I brought some Pokéblocks that’ll perk you right up. Want one?” August handed Larry a box of energy cubes.

Larry tried one—and immediately perked up.

He straightened, looking instantly more energetic. “I feel a wellspring of energy—August, what’s your secret?”

August didn’t answer directly, just had Gardevoir record Larry’s reaction, then explained, “I used some rare ingredients from Hisui. I haven’t actually tried them myself yet, but since your feedback’s positive, I guess it works.”

He’d foraged some of the ingredients in Hisui—and a few of them were basically extinct by now.

Larry: “…?”

So I’m the guinea pig?

Well, a guinea pig’s a guinea pig.

Larry carefully put the rest of the Pokéblocks away in his bag.

Then he turned to August. “Let’s get going—I still have reports to finish…”

Hearing that, Gary, Zinnia, and Penny all felt a shiver at the thought of working for the Paldea League.

Good thing I joined the Kanto branch, and August is my boss.

For the first time, they all had the same thought.

---

This is a fan translation of 我，宝可梦称号大师！ by 落唯 白良. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!