[Starting in Naruto with a Daily Login System] Chapter 34 How to Gaslight the Entire Village

Waking up after Minato’s party, I had three thoughts:

I successfully smuggled dango home. Mission accomplished.

Obito was probably still passed out somewhere with a dumb grin on his face.

I had two eyes again.

...Wait.

I HAD TWO EYES AGAIN.

I scrambled to the mirror. Staring back at me—where my once-empty left socket used to be—was a perfectly functional left eye.

Not just any eye.

The Six Eyes.

And I knew exactly what this meant.

Login Streak: 1 Month Reward Claimed!

And with it:

Six Eyes – A power so ridiculous that even I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

Enhanced Vision – I could see chakra in perfect detail. It was like someone turned on Ultra HD settings in real life.

Supernatural Processing – My brain now worked like a hyper-advanced quantum computer.

Chakra Efficiency Maxed Out – I could probably run a week-long battle and still have energy for a jog.

In summary: I was broken.

Okay, okay. Think. How do I explain this?

Losing an eye in battle? Understandable.
 Mysteriously regrowing an eye overnight? Highly suspicious.

I needed a solid excuse.

I could pretend it was always there, but someone would definitely call me out.
 I could wear an eyepatch, but then everyone would ask questions.
 Or I could... just gaslight everyone.

Yeah. That sounded like the best plan.

I went outside and casually walked past some familiar faces.

“Morning, Kakashi!” Rin greeted, smiling.

“Morning,” I replied smoothly, making zero effort to cover my left eye.

She blinked. “…Didn’t you—?”

“Hm?” I tilted my head.

Rin frowned. “I could’ve sworn—never mind.”

Obito was next.

He squinted at me. “Wait a sec—”

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Obito frowned. “Weren’t you missing—” He shook his head. “Nah, I must be imagining things.”

SUCCESS.

My ultimate technique: Denial no Jutsu.

Step Three: The Minato Test

For the final test, I went straight to Minato’s office.

He looked up, smiling. “Kakashi, good timing. I wanted to—” He paused. His brows furrowed slightly.

I kept my expression completely neutral.

“…Something wrong, Sensei?”

Minato narrowed his eyes slightly. “No, it’s just… hmm.”

He shook his head. “Never mind.”

Victory.

Minato Namikaze, future Hokage, gaslit successfully.

To celebrate my successful deception, I decided to summon Taka.

I hadn’t summoned him in a while, and considering my new eye, I figured it was time for an update.

With a puff of smoke, a small, slightly chubbier than I remembered baby eagle appeared on my shoulder.

Taka chirped excitedly. “Kakashi! You remembered me!”

“Of course,” I said. Mostly.

Taka fluffed his feathers. “I’ve gotten stronger!”

“…Have you?”

He puffed out his chest proudly. “Watch this!”

He took off into the air—soaring majestically for a whole forty-five seconds before plummeting back onto my head.

“…Amazing,” I deadpanned.

Taka chirped happily. “I know!”

Despite myself, I smirked. Yeah. This dumb bird had grown.

And maybe… so had I.

—

So far, my brilliant strategy of pretending I never lost an eye was working flawlessly.

Rin? Confused, but too nice to question me.

Obito? Too dumb to trust his own memory.

Minato? Probably overthinking but ultimately shrugging it off.

Flawless execution.

But there was one unpredictable variable I hadn’t accounted for.

Jiraiya.

And, as if summoned by the universe to make my life difficult, the legendary pervert himself waltzed into Konoha exactly one week later.

We were hanging out at Ichiraku Ramen (because obviously), when a booming voice interrupted my peaceful meal.

“Well, well, well! If it isn’t Minato’s brats!”

Obito nearly choked on his ramen. Rin, ever polite, turned around with a hesitant smile. I, being a seasoned veteran of dealing with nonsense, didn’t even flinch.

Jiraiya, in all his questionable glory, swaggered over and plopped himself down beside Minato, who looked equal parts exasperated and resigned.

“Jiraiya-sensei,” Minato greeted, sighing. “You’re back.”

Jiraiya grinned. “Of course! I heard you’re finally getting that fancy hat next month.” He clapped Minato on the back. “Not bad, kid. Not bad at all.”

Obito looked between them, eyes wide. “W-Wait, you’re the Jiraiya?! The Toad Sage?! The Sannin?!”

Jiraiya gave a very dramatic thumbs-up. “The one and only!”

Obito turned to me, looking way too excited. “Kakashi! We’re meeting a legend right now! This is huge!”

I slurped my ramen. “Mhm.”

Jiraiya squinted at me. “Hey, brat.”

I sighed. “Yes?”

“You’re Minato’s genius, right?” He looked me up and down. “Not bad, not bad… wait.” His eyes narrowed.

I froze.

“Didn’t you lose an eye?”

Rin dropped her chopsticks. Obito nearly fell off his stool. Minato stiffened.

I took a very slow sip of broth. Time to gaslight an actual Sannin.

“…No?”

Jiraiya blinked.

“Huh.”

He scratched his head, looking genuinely perplexed.

“Damn. Must be getting old,” he muttered.

Unstoppable.

After the ramen incident, Jiraiya decided to bless us with his wisdom.

“You kids have potential,” he declared, “but you’re missing something crucial.”

Obito leaned forward eagerly. “What is it? More training? Special jutsu?”

Jiraiya smirked. “Nope.”

He slammed a book onto the table.

Icha Icha Paradise.

Rin turned red. Minato facepalmed. I slowly leaned back, horrified.

“You’re giving them that?” Minato asked, looking so disappointed.

Jiraiya scoffed. “What? It’s important! A true shinobi must understand the complexities of human relationships!”

“I don’t think that’s what your book is about,” I muttered.

Jiraiya grinned. “Oh, Kakashi. One day, you’ll understand.”

I doubted that. Deeply.

Later that night, I summoned Taka to share my woes.

Taka, perched on my shoulder, stared at the book in my hands.

“…Kakashi,” he chirped slowly, “what is that?”

“Trash,” I replied, tossing it into my storage belt.

Taka nodded solemnly. “Good call.”

Then, after a moment of hesitation, he asked, “Am I allowed to eat it?”

“…No.”

“…Just a little?”

“No, Taka.”

He sighed dramatically. “Fine.”

Honestly, I respected the effort.

The next day, I ran into Asuma and Kurenai.

They took one look at me and immediately started whispering.

“…Didn’t he—?”

“I thought so, but…”

“Maybe we remembered wrong?”

Perfect.

My legend was growing.

—

It had been two weeks since Minato-sensei dropped his double announcement:

Obito had screamed in excitement. Rin had teared up in happiness. I had given Minato the slow nod of ultimate understanding.

But now, a new battle loomed on the horizon.

A battle greater than war.

A challenge more intense than training.

A conflict that would shake our team to its very core.

The Baby Gift War.

It Started With a Single Sentence

Obito, lounging on a tree branch, suddenly shot up. “I got it.”

Rin looked up from her book. “Got what?”

“The perfect baby gift.”

I frowned. “Define ‘perfect.’”

Obito smirked. I already hated it.

Rin smiled. “That’s great, Obito! I’ve been thinking of something cute too.”

Obito scoffed. “No way your gift will be as good as mine.”

…Oh no.

I immediately saw the problem. The competition had begun.

Rin’s eyes narrowed. “We’ll see about that.”

Obito grinned. “Oh, we definitely will.”

And just like that, I was dragged into a battle I never wanted to fight.

While Obito and Rin plotted baby gifts like rival warlords, I leaned back against a tree and sighed.

Taka, perched on my shoulder, tilted his tiny head.

“Hmm.”

“…What.”

He peered at me with those judgmental bird eyes. “You’re thinking about something suspicious.”

I clicked my tongue. “I am not the suspicious one.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding check-ups?”

I looked away. “Medical ninjas are terrifying.”

Taka fluffed up. “They just want to help.”

I sipped my tea. “Tell that to my completely normal, definitely not replaced left eye.”

He squinted. “Kakashi.”

“Taka.”

“…Did you really—”

I held up a rice cracker. “Do you want this or not?”

Taka’s tiny eagle brain short-circuited. He snatched the cracker and betrayed all morality.

The conspiracy remains unbroken.

At some point, Obito turned to me. “Alright, what’s your gift?”

I blinked. “What?”

He jabbed a finger at me. “You have to get a gift too.”

“I don’t.”

Rin crossed her arms. “Yes, you do.”

I sighed. “Why?”

Obito scoffed. “Because Minato-sensei is our teacher! And Kushina is basically team mom!”

Rin nodded. “And we’re their first students! It’s only right!”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I hate that you both make sense.”

Obito grinned. “Then it’s settled. We all get gifts.”

Taka flapped his wings. “Ooooh, I want to help!”

I glanced at him. “…Do you even know what a baby is?”

Taka tilted his head. “A small human?”

I nodded. “That’s… technically correct.”

Taka looked proud. “Then I will find the perfect baby gift.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him birds don’t have money.

Later that day, we ended up at Ichiraku, because of course we did.

Everything was fine. The ramen was perfect. Life was good.

Then Jiraiya walked in.

He squinted at me. Again.

“…I swear you were missing an eye.”

I took a slow sip of my tea. “Nope.”

Jiraiya stared harder.

Minato already sighed.

Obito grinned. “Told you, Kakashi’s just built different.”

Jiraiya muttered something about losing his touch and sat down.

I won.

Again.

Taka, meanwhile, was staring at Jiraiya’s scrolls.

“…Can I eat those?”

I shoved a rice cracker into his mouth.

The hunger persists.