Draft game script thus far

Twitter voted strongly in favour of a fantasy game. And as I'm reworking things to simplify the development and the lead in time, I'm fine with that. I won't be scrapping the work done, but I'll be changing the scope when I return to it. Here's the script for the new game thus far.

Bedroom <1>

Heroine sleeping.

Wakes up.

Heroine: Wow, I feel great today!

Heroine: ...

The heroine realizes that she has a large member where none was before.

Heroine: What? What's happened?!

Heroine: Woah, it's like it's got a mind of it's own!

<the Priestess is summoned>

Priestess: Well, the good news is it's not a demon!

Heroine: That is good.

Priestess: It's actually the sword of the legendary Hero Erodick.

Heroine: ...what?

Priestess: When Erodick passed, his legendary sword has transfered from hero to hero through the generations. The last wielder must have perished! Now the responsibility falls to you.

Heroine: What should I do?

Priestess: Some crisis must be gripping the world! If the Dark Lady rises again, you may be the only one able to pierce her Womb of Nightmares.

Heroine: But I'm not a hero, I've never done anything like that!

Priestess: Yes, that's probably going to be an issue. You should start out small, maybe the King has something you can do?

Heroine: I guess. Is it supposed to throb like this?

Priestess: Erodick's sword was said to always be searching for it's scabbard!

Heroine: How am I supposed to find that?

Priestess: Well, when you feel that throbbing sensation, it means there must be someone nearby that could be a match!

Heroine: Strange that I'm feeling it now...

Priestess: Indeed! That is very odd.

Priestess: Unless...

Heroine: You? Seriously? Aren't you married to God?

Priestess: You possess the sword of the legendary hero! I'm sure God's okay with it. Besides, that wouldn't God want one of his devout children to be the match for Erodick's Sword?

Heroine: Well, you make a convincing argument.

<scene>

[Outside]

Man Walking: I feel I could spend my whole life in Breedingway.

Woman: Welcome! Feel free to come inside. I mean into the shop. Please, come in to the shop and browse our wares.

Merchant: Well, you looking to buy something today? Sell?

Old Man: Poison will reduce you to 1 health, which makes even the lowest slime a dangerous foe.

Innkeep: A room for the night?

Guard in Inn: The King's got half the townsguard out looking for his son. No one knows where the Prince was taken.

Man: Gagonham? Ah, you need to head North to the seashore, then follow the coast to the West. Strange folk live there. Odd practices and customs, not like the good folk here in Breedingway.

Soldier: You possess the hero's sword? Really? Show me.

Soldier: ...

Soldier: Okay, yeah, that's pretty impressive. 

Woman: I'm no princess, but I'd enjoy being soaked by your sword. Having the child of a legendary hero? That's something to talk about!

Man: Would you like to enter my wife? We've been trying for a child without success, perhaps the seed of the Hero of Legend is more potent?

Shop Merchant: I've got all your odds and ends. Need some prophylactics? Something to keep it up? Keep it going? Get it down? I've got everything. Oh, and also healing herbs.

Man: South of Tanglegroin Castle you can see the wicked Karnalock Keep. They say that the Essence of Darkness manifests there. We burned it to the ground once, but it's remains still stand defiant.

Guard: I hear the King puts all would be heroes to a most devious test.

Old Man: If you're cursed, it's said you can "Come Again". I have no idea what that means.

Man: You can get magic keys, somewhere. Not here. But somewhere.

Soldier: You have the sword the hero of legend? Psh. That thing goes around more than a wagon wheel. You'll end up dead before long.

Soldier: Your legendary sword can save us from the minions of the Dark Lady and her nightmarish womb! If her lieutenants are impregnated by the Legendary Sword, they will stop birthing monstrosities into our world! Probably.

Soldier: Beware of bridges. Their construction is shoddy at best and no one does the upkeep on them. Terrifying things to cross over.

<Castle>

Guard: Welcome to Tanglegroin Castle.

Old Man: Ah, the Legendary Sword has a new owner! And such a pleasing figure!

Guard: Look, we've all tried to find the Prince, and all of us have ended up fucking our hands.

Guard: That's the punishment for failure, we cannot bed our wives or girlfriends till the Prince is found!

Guard: They say that the Sword of Legend never tires and never runs dry!

Guard: Some doors require keys. Just like some legs. You can't just pound away and expect them to open for you.

Man: Look, anyone can cum inside a monster and claim victory, but if you're not experienced enough, you won't survive long enough to finish.

Man: Whole cities have been leveled by the Dark Lady's minions. They'll stop at nothing until every last person is dead or bred.

Man: We heard that the good people of Breedingway had special techniques to build prosperous cities, but so far it seems that a whole lot of it is just “Cum in your wife a lot”.

Woman: Oh, where can I find the Prince… What? He might not like girls, but the King needs heirs…

Man: There was a time when Breedingway was a paradise, no fears, no worries, just a whole lot of extremely casual sex. Now the Dark Lady’s rise has everyone pairing off, locking doors, hiding from one another.

Guard: The King will judge your worth and your deeds. He is a most thorough evaluator of one’s spirit.

Guard: Should you need a rest, be sure to hydrate. Drink your water. You’re going to use up a lot of fluids.

Guard: Are you looking for the Prince too?

Guard: No? Damn, we could use another set of eyes out there.

Guard: Yes? Excellent. Remember, the Prince is a bottom and a brat, so you’ll need to be firm with him to get him to do anything.

Guard: Some of the doors vanish when you use a key on them. The absolute weirdest shit, I tell you.

Guard: Make sure you stock up in town before heading out. 

<throne room>

King: HRMPH. So you are the one they’re telling me has the Sword of the legendary hero. Show it to me.

King: Truly it looks like the sword. But to look alone is to not know. My Queen, your king commands you to put this purported hero to the test!

Queen: Let’s see how much of the Legendary Hero’s sword you have…

Queen: Oh my! That’s certainly… up to expectations. But do you know how to use it? To best the Dark Lady, you’ll have to endure far more than what I’ll put you through.

<scene>

Queen: I believe them to be in full possession of the Hero’s Sword and his potency, my King.

King: Indeed. You have proven yourself worthy of being tasked with a quest that all others have failed thus far.

King: Find the Prince, return him to the castle, and if possible, have him sire me a proper heir. 

King: I shall grant you an evening with the Queen as a reward, once you have provided proof that the deed is done.

King: Go, I have no clues as to whereabouts my son has been taken, but I’m sure you will find him. You possess the power of a legendary hero, after all.