Negative Inspiration

Slow return to drawing.

Added 2022-12-29 22:36:11 +0000 UTC

So I'm no longer in physical agony, though my body has been pretty badly scarred from the rashing/blistering I got. I have ~10% sensation in my fingers. Typing is hard as hell, and using my phone is a nightmare. Drawing is tough because despite by caveman like drawings, I actually do rely on the pressure settings a lot, and they were fairly delicate. Now everything is either "off" or "on" as far as my ability to sense how hard I'm using the pen.

As all things in life, we just move forwards. I could sit and wonder what's next for me, but honestly I'm alive and moving, so just keep moving forwards. I have appointments and medical treatments lined up, but the initial consults are not positive. My condition is atypical for the illness, and that means we're in the medically "rare" side effects range, which often has limiters on it like "no further recovery possible", "permanent damage" and "adjusted lifestyle".

It's hard to describe exactly how difficult is, as I'm still getting used to not feeling anything when I'm doing stuff. Trying to find stuff you dropped is super hard, because I can't feel if I'm touching the thing, only that I've hit something, but not like what it is. When I go to pick something up? Can't tell if I've actually got a grip on it. Going to use the can? Like a stranger's holding the ol'=ANYWAYS= the long and short of it is, I am back working, it's just much slower than I'd like, and my long term recovery is murky. I -CAN- however work. That's good. And so, that's what I'll be doing.