Post 169: Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?

My hair does get so crazy long overnight, Melissa Monroe thought to herself, but weekends I don’t care. Sitting on the edge of her bed, stroking her cat, she was checking the “likes” on her newest post and feeling the twinges that came with new followers, like starlight twinkles under her skin. So many of them out there now that like it big, she mused, smiling, almost giggling to herself. She’d been out shopping earlier that Saturday, something she’d needed to do more and more frequently these days. Gonna have to ask for a raise just to afford new jeans haha, she thought, and bras - ! well I’m excited to try this new Russian thing Abby’s told me about…

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The balloons have wilted, the whole thing really collapsed into nothing overnight, Dr J thought to himself, running his hand through what he felt was thinning hair, gazing woefully down at the surprisingly small pile of deflated, intertwined balloons at his feet, alongside the mattress on which he sat. The sculpture, the huge, pneumatic Melissa-Mother, had been so impressive; now it was a tiny, convoluted mess. Looking at it, I know how it feels, he thought, Why do I feel so...meager? I’m losing weight. My shoes...my pants...nothing fits…

He looked down at his thin, pale hands...

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My hands, Melissa marveled, regarding them herself as she sat on her bed, look at them. Even her hands, she thought, had been growing stronger, healthier, more able. Her nails were perfect, unbreakable. She hadn’t had a hangnail in a month. “Even the little scratches you gave me last year,” she said down to the tabby curled at her side as she looked at the back of her left hand, across which a pair of fine, white lines once stretched, “The scars are all gone, too.” Weird.

She flexed her long, elegant fingers, stretching them out, turning her palm upwards, then making a fist. Strong. Could I do an apple like that big Russian blonde girl did at Evolution? she thought, I bet I could. And what I did at gym this morning? Craaaazy...I can feel it. Like my body’s getting ready for Monday, these new changes, new challenges.

new girls coming on…

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The new girls, he thought in distress, having picked up the pile of spent rubber from his feet, absentmindedly holding it to his chest as if looking for comfort, they start on Monday. He held the balloons up to his face, drew a deep, faltered breath. The perfume was fading, too. What am I going to do??? There’s going to be so many of them.

He picked up his phone...

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So excited for the new girls, she thought, as she drifted into her bathroom, towards the bathroom scale, They feel like sisters already. Leading this business is so thrilling, we’re gonna grow so big…! #girlstakeover #queenbee

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He knows he shouldn’t have brought this scale up from downstairs. I have to stop weighing myself, he thought, it just makes me feel awful

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Two more pounds, she thought, groaning aloud. Nnnngh wanna break this scale.