Post 234: Papers in the Park, p1

What am I supposed to do with these? I thought, as I tossed the neon-lavender sweatpants I’d been wearing onto my bed. I’d stripped them off me, along with my new sports jacket, semi-crusty boxers and terminally-wrinkled button-down shirt. About the pants - Josie had, since I’d soiled my own slacks at the party, given them to me to wear for the ride home, and told me to ‘keep them - they don’t fit me anymore’ but, uh…nope.

“Not my color…” I’d tried to joke. But otherwise I’d spend the morning with my two young employees in my underwear

Anyway, all I was trying to do now, though, was get ready quickly. Josie and Lakshmi were sitting outside, idling in the parking lot. They’d been nice enough to drive me here, back to my little apartment above the office, and wait for me while I got ready. I was due to meet Melissa at the park for some type of joint picnic/signing-my-life-away-via-weaponized-divorce papers in…agh!...30 minutes. In fact, I’d just gotten a text from Melissa; she was on her way.

It was a bit of a good thing that I was in a rush; it kept my mind occupied and off the conflicting feelings I was having. I realized I had apparently promised last night, in front of everyone, to finally do the paperwork that would finalize the divorce between me and my wife of 13 years, Sheryl. Yes I’d been drunk, or high, or something, and I now barely remembered anything past arriving at the party and probably had perfectly good excuses to step back and reconsider, but in the end I knew our marriage was already over. Sheryl had, after forgiving multiple infidelities of mine in the past, finally had enough of me and my dalliances with my new Office Manager. As I turned on the shower I thought back to the bikini photos I had of her on my phone, how Sheryl had found them and how that had maybe been the breaking point.

I stepped into the still-cold water to shock myself, to stave-off the already building boner that had started to spring to life. Just the thought of those images, of Melissa in her swimsuit, of the afternoon down on that private beach with her a month ago, was stirring me. Goddamn she was beautiful, and though I’d done my best to avoid her this week, in a last-ditch attempt to show some resolve and prove to my wife and myself that I could be strong, I now realized the inevitable. I now knew that that was a charade, that I had feelings that were impossible to ignore, and that it was too late for Sheryl and me.

As the shower warmed I had to admit that I was furtively excited to see Melissa for lunch this Saturday afternoon, excited to be with her, and god help me excited to make her happy by finally signing the papers. She’d been tasked by Sheryl to get me to do it, and I knew she was feeling pressure, but part of me secretly hoped that now - with me as a free man - Melissa would, well…

Whoah, wow. Stop it, you need to stop, I scolded myself, feeling suddenly lightheaded…I’d already hardened, taken myself in hand and had started to stroke, lost in a budding fantasy. Was it the hot water that had made my vision just swim, darken around the edges, a rush of blood from the head…or was it rush of blood down to somewhere else? My cock had become - jesus, look at it - ungainly huge as compared to the rest of my body, and its demands were ludicrous. Stop it, focus, J, I told myself, Just get it done. You need to be on time for her. I cooled the water down and began to scrub myself clean with a harsh, budget-conscious bar of soap …

…

“Okay, text us if you need a ride back!” Josie instructed as I climbed out of the passenger seat of her big SUV...

I nodded, closed the door and huddled my shoulders as she and Lakshmi waved their goodbyes, leaving me to the city street. It felt colder than I’d anticipated when I dressed, a chilly October day with little sun. My thin sweater and jeans - which, along with my shoes (my new shoes) were each now too big on me -  let the bite of the breeze cut through to my bones. Man, I thought to myself as I looked across the street to the park, why am I always so cold? I should have brought a jacket.

“Thanks again…!” I called out, waving at them as they pulled away. I faced the street I had to cross to get to the park and, watching the cars speed by, I suddenly felt anxious and small…and alone. I was - last time I measured myself - just a few inches over five-feet tall and the city seemed so big around me. Melissa had pinged me a few minutes ago; it’d be about a quarter-mile walk on the winding paths through the old trees to find her, and I felt like I needed to get to her quickly. I could picture her smile already. She’d also sent me a photo of the spread, the picnic she’d prepared. It looked nice.

As I hurried across the street, blatantly jaywalking, I was struck by an immediate wave of nausea. Mild, and I was able to swallow it down, but it was curious. I really haven’t eaten much today, I figured, just that little bite of brioche Lakshmi had toasted and buttered for me back at Josie’s. It made me uneasy, this feeling, and as I entered the park and began to meander down the paths I broke into a bit of a sweat. Maybe I was a bit nervous? To do what I had to do?

Anyway, not a lot of people out that day. It was deep autumn, and by this point many leaves had fallen. The clouds kept the air chill, though I didn’t think rain would be a concern. I smiled at a dog walker, though felt wan through my increasingly clammy face and was more-or-less ignored. I did, though, seem to draw the attention of a trio of attractive but indeterminate-of-age women strolling and chatting. They’d stopped to ask if I was alright; I’d paused at the top of a small hillock to catch my breath. I smiled, thanked them, and politely waved them on, but could have sworn I saw a hungry smile on one and heard another whisper ‘so vulni..!’ to her friends as they all laughed and moved away. That made me even more anxious, more nauseous, feel more unsafe and smaller still.

As I walked, trying to quicken my pace, I began to quickly review in my head the papers Sheryl had prepared for me, which have been in Melissa’s possession for quite a bit of time now. I’d read them, at one point, in an email copy Sheryl’s new attorney (even lawyers get lawyers, I guess) had sent through, twice. As if I needed reminding, she’d also forwarded copies of the Financial Agreement Sheryl and I had been operating under these past four years.  After me getting caught in my second affair, with Rina, Sheryl had demanded I sign something she’d drawn up.

This divorce was going to leave me in a financial disaster. Years ago, when I was just starting out, it was Sheryl’s money that allowed me to buy the practice. Being an attorney and understanding how to protect herself, the corporate paperwork for the practice had her as majority stock owner. I didn't, at the time, think that would be a big deal...I was just so happy to have my own solo practice so early in my career, and didn’t even consider what would happen if things between us went south. Foolish, I know but…we were in love! So, anyway, after the Rina thing I signed this agreement which stipulated that, if I was unfaithful from here on out, at Sheryl’s discretion, she had the option to file for divorce and I would be left with only the assets I came into the marriage with - basically a pittance, minus the amount of my not-insubstantial student loans from undergrad and medical school (which I’d basically owe her for, since she’d paid them off for me). If we divorced I would be working to pay her off for an eternity. If I held out, refused to sign her papers, she’d promised she’d make things worse. And, knowing that she had friends in the court and enormous resources, I was sure she could do it, and I didn’t doubt that she would.

Anyway, I figured I could be strong, from there on out. My eye would not wander, and even though things had cooled between Sheryl and myself I would be a good, loyal husband. And I was, for four years...until Melissssy came around. Now I was up shit’s creek. Any income I drew from the practice would basically go right to Sheryl. She had agreed to supply me with a monthly stipend as alimony - ‘out of generosity’ is how her attorney explained it. But I could hear her thinking it: You’re bound to me, attached to my hip, dependent on me forever you little shit, like a parasite.

Again, now I felt even smaller, the world seemed even bigger and harsher (and colder…). I shivered as I rounded a corner in the park, checking my phone again to find my location and felt more confused and sicker and sicker until suddenly I heard her voice:

“Dr. JJJJ....!!”

I looked up to see that I had found her, finally. Melissa was sitting on a blanket in the leaves, aside a small hill. A little grove of brilliant red bushes stood just nearby, but my eyes were drawn immediately to her. Unlike the spotty memories of last night, in which she was glamorous and elegant, coiffed and perfect, Melissa today appeared full in the flesh, casual, even  a bit disheveled - but no less gorgeous. Long, dark hair fell about her shoulders; she looked like maybe she’d just been at the gym.

“Ohhh sweetie you look awful!” she immediately exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

I gasped, suddenly seeing her at full height….what the fffffuck..?? How can she be so tall?!? Had I shrunk again???

“What’s wrong??” she exclaimed, seeing the new expression of shock on my face alongside the anemic sickness, the nausea. Her voice was laden with earnest concern, eyes wide with worry, “Come here!”

In a flash Melissa was standing giant in front of me, shifting her soft jacket back off her shoulders. My eyes goggled as her enormous breasts emerged, just below my eyeline in her thin, tight tee, the lightest of mint greens through which her colorful bra was clearly visible. ‘Stay True’ said her shirt, in words stretched thin by her massive chest.

ha ha, the irony.

“You take this!” she offered, seeing how cold I was, ready to give me her jacket. Immediately and instinctively I stopped her, though: the gentleman in me would not let me take a jacket from a lady. To that she fretted, pulled the collar of my sweater up a bit, and looked down on me, tutting. “I’d zip you up in here with me,” she proposed, holding open her soft hoodie and sticking out her chest even further, “but haha I don’t have the room.”

I couldn’t help it, if my eyes goggled and I actually voiced my awe: “wow.”

To that, she giggled, almost shyly. I, for myself, was imagining it: if she were to take her jacket, pull me in, and zip it up around us both. Me, and those tits, together in the warm darkness…

Her hands were on my shoulders; she was watching me daydream. “Here, take a picture of me - for Insta?” she said, pulling me from my brief fantasy and producing her phone from a pocket, “Those bushes over there are really pretty, and I think this is a day to remember...”

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<edited: first-time post didn't have the second/Melissa image>