Maybe he's not a seal, but it's still the right call. Look at that puny body. You can take him. Worst case, he's poisonous and you die. But best case, you have opened up a whole new prey stream and a golden age of prosperity for your species. You will get SO laid. Have you seen how many of them there are up on the beach? Growth mindset, shark.
One day I would like to ask an orca why they don't eat people. Maybe orcas recognize the warning coloration of Day-Glo shorts. Maybe they see those weird human toys and worry an eaten human's podmates will use those toys to seek bloody revenge. They don't look like much, but I swear I saw a pack of them kill a 500 pound tuna. Anyway, there must be something wrong with those guys if nobody else is eating them.
Eric Boesch
2025-11-27 17:13:23 +0000 UTC
Ha! That is definitely what happens next. Local sea-urchin tattoo parlor the only real winners.
Trudy & Doug
2025-11-06 20:55:03 +0000 UTC
Now the poor shark will probably take up smoking and get a regrettable tattoo.