Nuki News #36: How I got Here (2017 - 2019)

Depicted is my attempt at drawing Artie Nuki's old design, haha!  Part 3 of a post series where I’m going over my last 10 years with art! If you haven’t read the previous 2 posts, that’s really weird of you to decide to read this one first!

Part 1: https://www.patreon.com/posts/43790388

Part 2: https://www.patreon.com/posts/44066702

We’re picking this back up in 2017- I narrowly avoided getting fired after my first 3 months on the customer support job, and I’m living with my boyfriend. I basically solved what I thought were my life’s major problems in 2016 by the end of that year. It was not easy by any means, and frankly my art dwindled rapidly. I think I did stop streaming for a while in 2017. But that’s understandable, I’ve found and established a new life for myself!

Working 40 hours a week got me realizing why it’s so difficult for anyone to accomplish things outside of their jobs. It was difficult to find time to do art when I wanted- and I often got grumpy because of that. I decided to take things more...lax! I needed to adapt to this new life and I knew I couldn’t do it by trying to cling to habits of my previous life. So I would only draw when I felt like it! I’m actually a bit surprised how little art I did this year- most of it was just collabs; me coloring other people’s drawings. I was still fairly proud of my painting skills; and I was very slowly gaining a following on FA as well. I think it was important I did this though, so I could spend time with my boyfriend and absorb everything around me easier. After around August 2017 though, I noticed a feeling like something was...missing! Something in me.

Clarity on what it was missing happened when my sister invited me to her wedding in November. I went, and stayed at my parent’s house during that week, in my old room. I...it felt completely awful, I have to say. Seeing where I used to spend most of my days, under a coat of dust. I could feel this desperate and lonely energy in that bedroom. I realized what a wonderful thing it was that I gained in my year out of my parents’ home. I had also started a fun little series project called ‘Raichu Rumble’ because I was in a strong mood to draw my Raichu Pokesona in very close situations with other Pokémon, ahaha. You can find the series here:

https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/the-b3ing/folder/415014/Raichu-Rumble

Working on it had sparked something inside me though- I re-fell in love with art, but not simply drawing! It was drawing FOR people, connecting with them in this visual and intimate way of having our character close together! Realizing this, that ‘missing’ part of me was quickly refilled. I couldn’t just leave art to the wayside while I play videogames and deal with a dayjob forever. I wanted to make art my living! I always have! It was also where my twitter started growing quickly too, jumping into about 650 followers.

This is energy I took with me into 2018. I’m going to try to do art for a living while I juggle this dayjob, even if it’s hard! I started looking into business videos and information and books too- I dunno what it was exactly, but I no longer was intimidated by the business side/money aspect of doing art. I guess the drive to make this my living outweighed any fears or worries naturally? It’s a good thing too, because it made me realize how much I’d need to actually do to make a living with my art, and I’d certainly not be here without it. Granted, I’m not skilled/confident/competent enough to share my business knowledge(the little of it I have)- but it came down to finding out I needed to offer my work and skills for a much more livable price. My dayjob also began giving us 3 day weekends, which gave me more time to comfortably dedicate to art stuff!

On the art side of things, I had an AMAZING breakthrough- getting to paint things in grayscale, and transition it into color in an amazing way, through gradient mapping! It was difficult, but I cracked the code that seemed to plague a lot of digital artists for so long. You can see this in that Buizel painting here in this compilation, but for a closer look, here’s the full image:

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29071921/

I was excited to get to offer such high quality painting to folks too after finding this out. I was hoping to really push my paintings to the next level and post more frequently, as well as focus more. I also was trying to pursue animating too, since I’d just asked myself “why haven’t I tried animation? I’m an adult now and can definitely buy my own software, what’s actually stopping me?” I think that’s a good question to ask oneself, might make a post about that in of itself at some point. I was improving at a slow, but noticeable clip, and I was still doing pretty well at my dayjob, so it felt like I was balancing things well, all things considered.

So we get to 2019, and I gotta say something a bit redundant- it felt a little like a ‘diet 2020’. The year started with pretty alarming news- layoffs. Not only that, we no longer had 3 day weekends. This crushed me, since I'd effectively have less time to get art done. It soured my mood and outlook towards my dayjob. At the time I realized I might not have a say in how long I get to work there, even if I am doing well. So I could no longer view it as a way for me to buy time and hone my skills. This event was a major kick in my pants to take to making art my full time focus no matter what. I began opening for commissions almost every month(I believe I only ended up missing 2-3 months) and I steadily raised my prices throughout that year. I also managed to make and post a lot of art (once every other day!) and started up this very Patreon page! I sadly ended up burning out though in mid June, and couldn’t quite manage to recover until about mid to late August. What helped heal me was Furvana, a more local fur con, and making so many friends within the community around that time.

During that burn out, I realized I couldn’t keep up trying to do animations, commissions, patreon, my day job, and posting every other day. I was running myself ragged. But the little successes I got- seeing people desire to pay me to make them art I’d enjoy making, and getting money on the side like this… My brain was ticking, thinking and wondering- “how much more could I make if I quit my job and didn’t have to worry about dealing with it?” Looking back, I’m verryy very glad I didn’t do it then. There were a lot of big factors that would have hurt me that I just wasn’t ready or equipped to handle(this pandemic being one of them). During my down time, I also decided to re-design my sona, and my bear character Monty. Going a more deliberate approach in re-making them and establishing my style. I’m still pleased with how they look too! So the burn out period I had wasn’t all bad or me twiddling my thumbs. I have my long time patrons to thank for their support during that rough time too.

To conclude this part, these more recent 3-4 years have been me dedicating to transition into Art full time, aiming and pinpointing closer to the mark until it just became inevitable. I got to document a lot of my 2020 Journey, and there was a lot that happened during these last 10 years I failed to mention, but as an overview that hopefully didn’t outstay its welcome, I’m so damn thankful I’ve made the choices I did, and the leaps I took. I’ll have a big summary of 2020 when we’re closer to the end of that year though to review my progress.