May Mayhem

So much happened in May that I can barely believe it was a single month.    I ran sound for a really cool play called, "Wind Up Mice" by Samithi Sok.  It was such a fun experience!  This marks his second successful play and my second time working crew with him.  He sent me a one man show concept he's been kicking around and I asked permission to kick it some myself.  To my delight, Sami said ok!  That makes a potential co-written play coming up on the horizon, how cool.  
Right before we wrapped the show, my landlord (and the owner of the amazing Box Office Pub), handed me this TINY little kitten.  The eyes were opened but still blue, and the ears were up but otherwise FETUS.  I had to bottle feed around the clock, manually stimulate bodily functions, warm up mason jars to put in the nest, etc, etc.  I'm still not sure if they are a boy or a girl, but their name is Sith.  Sith and Octavius are already very bonded, so any thoughts I had on this being a foster project are dead and gone.  Sith's eyes are now green, and they are scarfing down wet and dry kitten food with a vengeance.  
I put in my 30 day notice of resignation at work, letting the school know I would not be working for them in the new school year.  In retaliation, the school's resident tyrant (she's supposed to be in charge of HR but is in fact in charge of every aspect of the school) gave me termination papers the next day.  I didn't get to say goodbye to my classes, I didn't get to finish end of year projects, there will be no last day of school party, and I don't get to see my kindergarteners "graduate".  Heartbreaking.  
This experience of "losing my babies" actually triggered a deeper sadness I have from losing all custody rights to Deven's biological daughter.  I was there for the pregnancy, birth, and first 11 years of her life.  And yet, nobody took me seriously as a parent because I'm just a weird dyke who was shacked up with a differently weird dyke.  Not the widow of an intersexed parent. Nope, definitely not that.  
In today's current political environment back home in the States, it is clear that there are many other families being ripped apart by homophobia.  The right to marry was a big win, but it was only a first step.  Now, the radical right would like us to take three steps backwards.  We're not going to do it.  They can win temporary battles by forcing laws through as fast as possible, but when the boomers age out, the whole world is going to transform into something unrecognizable to people born in first half of the 20th Century.  I for one welcome the death of binary gender and look forward to hundreds of unique gender expressions.  
Speaking of gender expression, now that I don't have to fear being shot or arrested on a daily basis, my ability to feel my own energy has increased dramatically.  I'm DEFINITELY a dude in a woman suit.  I've always known this, and it has rarely caused me discomfort.  Lately, I have been experiencing a bit of gender dysphoria, which is not a new experience but more poignant than it has been in the past.  I do not plan to transition my body surgically or though medication, but I do plan to get jacked.  I definitely think looking powerful is right for me.  
Through all of this, I have used every grounding technique, every self-awareness tool, and every beneficial psychological practice I know.  Yes, there is stress.  Yes, there is emotional pain.  Yes, I caught a cold from all the stress.  So now it's time to practice every beneficial physical practice I know.  More yoga, more time in the steam room, more walks by the river, more fresh fruit, less alcohol and caffeine!  
I have also been deeply connecting to the moon.  I am becoming familiar with the energetics of each phase by consciously comparing the shape of the moon with the shape of the evening it rides.  Highly recommended!  I haven't made any of my alchemical Moon Mist yet, nor have I performed a formal drawing down of the moon since I got to Cambodia...... guess I better get the ritual prepared!  
Stay tuned for more moon next time!  

PS-- Turns out I need a new bedroom door, because the lock falls and locks itself!